Saturday, July 24, 2010

Paper Stars - Chapter Fourteen

Chapter 14 – Chances



Paolo retreated back to his room.

He curled up on his bed as his thoughts were filled with all the possibilities that's happening between Vanz and Nadine. He could feel his heat flinching in pain with the thought of Vanz asking his angel back, and with Nadine giving him another chance. He guess there's nothing else to do but to accept whatever it is that she have decided, after all, it seems obvious that Nadine still loves her first love.

“Pao Pao, anything wrong?”

He looked by the door, and saw Angelo walking up to him. “Why the sad face?” he asked him again. Paolo looked away from him, not answering his question. “Do you feel sick, or something?” Angelo asked again. “Bu shi...” Paolo muttered. Angelo gave him a confused look. “Bu shi... yeah right! You're lying.” Angelo said. He sat beside him, and put his arm around him. “So, have you seen my sister and Vanz? They are having a long talk, don't they?” he said. Paolo ignored him. “I guess Vanz is explaining himself to my sister. He sure have a lot of explaining to do.” Angelo said again. Still, Paolo ignored him. “I guess Vanz is asking my sister for another chance. And maybe... maybe my sister is considering it...” he continued. He glanced at Paolo, and smirked. “And maybe they'll get married soon.” he said.

Paolo turned to him with a glare. “Bu hui ba! No way!” he shouted at him. Angelo could only laugh at his angry reaction. “Why not? My sister is not getting any younger. He needs someone like Vanz to be by her side.” Angelo said. “Wo ke yi zai ta shan bien yi ji! (I can be by her side as well!!)” he shouted angrily. Angelo laughed in amusement, and this irritated Paolo more. “Bu hao xiao! (Not funny!)” he said in an annoyed tone. “Can you stop speaking in Chinese? It's even funnier when you're mad and you're speaking in Chinese!” Angelo said in between laughs. Paolo looked away from him. He was silent, while Angelo was observing him. “You're jealous, right?” Angelo asked. Paolo looked at him again. “You're jealous because you love my sister...” he said.

Angelo was expecting him to react violently, to deny what he feels. He knew from the start that he is in love with his sister, that's why when there's a chance he could get close to Nadine, he'll let Paolo have that chance. He saw Paolo lower his head, as he nod in confession. “Wo... ai ta... I love her...” Paolo said in a low voice. “But... it seems that she loves Vanz. If what you said is true...” His voice faltered as he looked at Angelo. “Are you going to give up on my sister just like that? Maybe you stand a chance. You've been with her longer.” Angelo sad. “But Vanz is her first love, and will always be the one she loves.”
“You're assuming things, Paolo.”
“But isn't that the truth?”
“Vanz hurt her before.”
“But she can still love him despite it all.”

Angelo turn to smile. “Or maybe not. Not, if you will start the fight. You can win her heart, but before that could happen, you have to give it your best shot.” he said. Paolo turned away from him again. “How could I win her heart? I am nothing. I am just a lost soul that she picked up from the shore. I don't have any identity, nor any memories of the past. All that I know, all that I have, it's all because of her. While... while Vanz... he is a man who is not living in the dark. Nadine knew him well. While I... Nadine only knew the present me... not the past me...” Paolo said. “And since when did identity become an issue when it comes to loving? If my sister loves you, she will accept you, no matter what your past is.” Angelo said. Paolo faced him again. “Will you give her up? Are you willing to see my sister go through the same heartache again when she was with Vanz?” Angelo asked. With that, Paolo turned his gaze away from him, finally deciding to fight for his love.

--

“After that summer, everything just became too chaotic for us.” Vanz began. “We found out that mom is dying. My dad was trying to keep the family together. I was in senior high school, and suddenly, I became confused with what to do with my life. You weren't there. You were far from me, and I can't let you bear the burden I had back then... so I chose not to write back, or to cal you back. Stephanie was there for me the whole time, helping me out, and gradually, I learned to love her again. I must admit, I forgot your existence the whole time I was with her. So when we bumped into each other at the university... I... I felt guilty.” he said. He lowered his head, and let out a faint laugh. He put his hands inside his pocket, and glanced at him. “Honestly... when I saw you again, I... I got confused. I knew I love Stephanie... but it will always be you, my first love. It will always be you. Yes, I admit that I've been with a lot of girls these past ten years... but it will alwas be you, Nadine... it will always be you...”

Nadine looked away from him. All her life, she waited for this day to come, for him to come back to her, and tell her that he still loves her. She should be happy that this is happening to her right here, right now. But somehow, she doesn't feel too happy about it. She doesn't feel her heart skip a beat upon seeing his boyish face once again. She doesn't want this happen now. It's like she got tired of the long wait, and she finally gave up. And it's because there is someone that already took his place in her heart.

“Nadine... give me a chance.” he said. He walked up to her, and held her on her shoulders. “Give us a chance. I know this time, it's for keeps. I promise... I promise I won't abandon you like I did before. Nadine, I still love you...” he said. He looked hopefully into her eyes, letting out a faint smile. “Do you still love me?” he asked. Nadine stared at him for a long time, asking herself the same question. Does she still love him? She knew at this moment, she is confused. And she knew that it's wrong for her to give her answer at her confused state. “I... I'm sorry...” she said as she looked away from him. Vanz could only give her a confused look. “I... I can't answer that question.” she said. “Was it because I've heard you enough?”
“Vanz, it's not like that.”
“Is there someone else in your life?”

Nadine looked at him for a long time, and then she slowly nodded her head. “Yes. There is... someone that... that I've been loving silently.” she said. He gave her a defeated look. “He... he doesn't know?”
“I don't think he have to know.”
“You know that you're hurting yourself.”
“It doesn't hurt as much as how you hurt me before. And I know that if I get my heart broken, I have no one else to blame but myself.”

Vanz looked at her for a long time. He knew inside his heart that he couldn't give her up. He searched for her for so long, and he just can't let her slip away that easily. Not without a fight. “Give me a chance...” he said firmly. “Give me a chance to prove to you that you still love me. Nadine, I can give you the love you need, while he... he will only hurt you. He will only hurt you as long as keep on loving him silently. While I... you know... you know how I feel... you can never be unsure of me... and I promise you...” he said. He could feel his voice faltering as he speaks. “Give me a chance to fight him fair and square. I can me you love me again.” he said. “I will only hurt you.” she said. “Then hurt me. I don't care. All I want is to love you.” he said. Nadine could only take a deep breath as she slowly nodded her head.

--

It was almost dusk, and Nadine was sitting by the shore as she watches the sunset. A lot of things happened that day, and she wanted to be alone for a while to think things through. She knew that she should have not given Vanz another chance, and give him her answer while she's confused. She doesn't know why Vanz have to come back for her, now that she was starting to forget him. It just makes her feelings more complicated.

“Can I join you?”

She looked back, and saw Paolo standing behind her. She smiled at him, and nodded her head. Paolo sat silently beside her, and then looked at the horizon. “What are you thinking of?” he asked. “A lot of things.”
“Like what?”
“My past... my present... my future...”
Paolo looked at her, and smiled. “For the long time that I've known you, you're not the type of person that would ponder too much on things. Unless it's about the resort...” he said. Nadine could only laugh at her. “I tend to ponder too much on life. You just don't know it.” she said. He let out a smile as he glanced at her. There was silence between them as they sat side by side, watching the sun to set down.

“He asks for another chance...” Nadine finally said. Paolo looked at her, and held his breath as he waited for her to say something again. “He wanted me back. He said... he said that he still loves me...”
“And your reply?”
“I gave him a chance to prove to me that what he says is true.”
“Do you still love him?”
Nadine looked at Paolo for a long time, and then she shook her head. “I... I don't know. I'm not sure anymore.” she said. She let out a faint laugh, and looked away from him. “It's like when I'm with this person, I'm sure of what I really feel. I feel happy around him. I feel at ease knowing he's within my sight. When he's beside me I get butterflies in my stomach. But then, this person from your past comes back. You forget what you feel for this new person, because that person from your past came back, and all of your feelings for this old person comes back to you. It's like you both wanted the past and the present, but your heart can only choose one... and that's where all the confusion is... and I'm scared... I'm scared that I choose one of them, the other will be hurt. I'm scared that if I choose the past, the present will leave. If I choose the past... he will be gone in my life forever.” she said. “I guess you needed more time.” Paolo said. Nadine gave him a puzzled look. “It's a good thing that you gave Vanz a chance. At least, with him around, you will realize what the present guy really means to you. But then, you have to choose eventually. Is it this new guy, or is it Vanz?” he said.

Nadine let out a sigh, and looked away from him. “So, there is another person aside from Vanz that you... love?” Paolo asked. Nadine's eyes widened upon hearing his question. She knew that what she said a while ago is a giveaway to her true feelings for Paolo. “N-n-not really. I... am merely... making a point. The whole point is, I'm confused.” she said. “Because of this new guy?” Paolo asked again. “There is no new guy!” she shouted defensively at him. Paolo just gave her a playful smile. “Oh, OK.” he said. Nadine secretly glanced at him, and see him still smiling giddily. Paolo knew that Nadine was talking about him. He was happy because he knew that he stands a chance with her.








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Labels: original story, Paper Stars

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Roses For You - Prologue

The Roses That Started It All

Dear Diary,

You what day is it today, right? It's the day the He took him away from me... from us... Up until now, I'm blaming myself for his loss. It should have been me... but he chose to save me.

Five years have passed. Everyone should have moved on, but not me. Not us. Dad never looked me in the eye, and never talked to me. I knew he is still blaming me for his only son's death. Mom and Dad are still worse than ever. They still fight. Almost everyday. When he was still alive, I would run to his room, and he would cover my ears, sing me a happy sing so that I won't hear their angry shouts downstairs. Now, all I do is lock myself at my room, listen to my iPod till they stop shouting angry words at each other.

I hate my life now. Especially since Kuya Jansen had died. Life has never been all roses to me since he was gone. Maybe... Maybe I should go to where he is right now...

She closed the diary in her hand, and stretched her arms. The cool breeze from the top of the old abandoned school building have always relaxed her, and made her mind at ease from all the pressure of the world. This is her haven, her sanctuary, the place where she could be who she really is.

Jessica Tantoco.

Outside, she is the tough girl that everyone fears of. The captain of the Karate Club who had the reputation of bringing down 10 men onto their knees in a matter of minutes. She was an independent girl who never relied on anyone else, making her friendless. But inside, she was just someone trying to fight the ghost of her pasts.

She closed her eyes for a while to feel the cool breeze the blew to her direction. As she opened her eyes, she saw a small rose that handed on her lap. Puzzled, she picked it up, and looked at it closely. "What? How come this was blown away here?" she thought. She looked down the building, and saw a girl named Tammy trying to pick up a bunch of roses that fell on the ground. "Still weird." she thought. She took the rose, and then put it inside her diary.

The bell rang, and she knew it was time to go back to her facade.

--

A strong gust of wind blew him away, and making his weak body fall on the ground. He muttered a sigh as he fell down. "Hay, Gian Robles... why are you so weak?" he scolded himself.

Gian Robles.

He is the school geek. Always bullied by the frat boys. Always the weak one. Always the one whom everyone makes fun of. He wears too formal clothes with odd color combination. The black thick framed glass on his eye is easily a give-away clue of how smart this genius is. And his brain that's ala Jimmy Neutron somehow always managed to endanger him to the cool species of St. Martin University - that is the members of Pi Micro fraternity.

He stood up from the ground, and then felt something fall from his lap. He looked down, and saw a single stemmed rose on his feet. He bent down, and picked it up. "Huh?" he thought in confusion. He looked up, and saw that cheery girl named Tammy picking up the roses that fell on her hand. Just before the strong wind made him fall down, he saw her rushing to the school auditorium with the roses on her hand, then someone bumped into her, making her lose her balance, and the roses literally flew from her hand. He let out a smile and shook his head. He knew her from his Humanities class, aside from the fact that she had a reputation for being too clumsy.

He made a step forward to approach her, and give her the rose, at least help her gather all the roses that was blown away. Suddenly, he felt danger behind him. He heard someone calling his name sharply. "Gian the nerd!"

He looked back, and saw the frat boys walking up to him. They had this angry expression on their face - and the reason is that he was not able to finish their term papers, making them fail English 2. "Er... Kian?" he said with his voice stuttering. "You are dead meat, nerd boy!" The Kian guy said. He began to move his feet in fear, and before he knew it, he was running for his life.




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Labels: original story, Roses For You

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Paper Stars - Chapter Thirteen

Chapter 13 – First Love


First Love Never Dies,
But True Love Buries It Alive...

--

Paolo led Nadine inside the house. He helped her to sit down, and as she settled down, he began to search high and low for the first aid kit, and as soon as he found it, he sat next to her. Gently, he held her hand. He saw the swelling on it, and as he touched it, Nadine flinched in pain. “I think you sprained it.” he said. He took out the bandage, and gently rolled it onto her wrist. Nadine looks at Paolo as he put the bandage in his hand.

There was something in Paolo a while ago that made her confused. There was anger in his eyes as he looked at Vanz. There was a strong sense of possession, of jealousy in him as he held her hand, and as he pulled Vanz's hand away from her. And there was this caring look in his eyes as he see the bruised and swollen wrist of her. At that moment, she saw Paolo as a man, and not as the child-like guy that he was. It was this new side of Paolo is something that she never saw.

“Thank you...” she said, her voice is trembling. Since Paolo came into their lives, she took care of him. She knew him from head to foot, as far as he knows. But his reaction a while ago is something that she did not expect. “Who is he?” he finally asked. Nadine looked away from him. There was this sadness in his eyes, and she could not let him see that. “Vanz...” she said softly. “Who is he in your life?” he asked, with a more authoritative voice. This Paolo beside her is scaring the hell out of her. “I... I don't want to talk about it. Not right now. I... I'm not ready...” she said. Paolo just looked at her for a long time as he let the silence come between them. “Don't you trust me?” he asked in a hurt tone. “I... I protected you from him. And in the future, I want to continue protecting you from him, or from anyone that will hurt you. It's only fair for me to know who are those people are in your life, and why they are hurting you. Can't you give me that privilege to know?” he asked. The hint of pain in his tone made Nadine look back at him.

The cheerfulness in his eyes was replaced by hurt. His face was stern as he waited and demanded for her answer. She could only look at him, not saying a word. She doesn't know where to start telling him about Vanz, because if he knew who he is in her life, she will only end up hurting him more. “A friend.” she lied. Paolo gave him a confused look. “A friend? Then... then why?”
“He is just a friend.”
“If he is a friend, why are you running away from him? If he is a friend, why does he have to look like that at you.”

Nadine paused at what he said. “Look at me like what?” she asked. “He looked at you with hope... with love... but you pushed him away. And I can't understand why.” he said. “If he is a friend... a friend that you haven't seen for a long time... you wouldn't act that way... unless he hurt you before.” he added. Nadine took a deep breath, and stood up from her seat. She looked at him with a mad expression on her face. She just wanted to end this conversation with him. “You saved me, yes, but that doesn't give you the right to intrude into my life, especially my past. If there is something that I want to keep from you, then I will continue to keep it. Before you came, you didn't know what I've been through. And you don't have the right to question me, or judge me just because I don't want to tell you everything that happened in my life. You weren't there. You wouldn't just understand.” she said to her.

Paolo looked up at him. He felt his heart flinched in every word she said. “So... what am I? I am nothing to you? I am not part of this family? You were the one who keeps on telling me that I am a part of this family! I only wanted to know who he is... but then you're acting like this! How can I protect you from him if I don't know why I'm protecting you in the first place?” he shouted at her. Nadine was shocked at his reaction. She never thought that Paolo would be this exasperated at her for keeping the past from him. “Maybe you think I'm useless, that I can do nothing, that I can't care for you the way you do for me. Nadine, I am a grown up man. I may be child-like, but I have a mind of my own. And you know what, it hurts me to know that you... you think of me that way.” he said.

Paolo turned his back on her, and left her alone. Nadine could only watch as he leaves her. It was wrong of her not to say anything. It was wrong of her to lie. But then, her mind just couldn't think right, now that Vanz have suddenly appeared in her life.

--

Vanz stood at the reception area with his head down. As soon as Paolo and Nadine left, Marina came over to see him. “It's been a long time...” she said softly. Vanz looked at the elder woman, and saw her smiling at him. “And you can't blame Nadine for not wanting to see you...” she continues. “Tita... I... I had a lot of things to explain to her.” he said. “I know. But now is not the right time...”

Vanz lowered his head again, and let out a sigh. “You've hurt her. You've broken her heart. I guess all the hurt came back when she saw you. You just have to give my daughter some more time.” Marina said. “But... does she still love me?” he asked. “Only Nadine can answer that question. Now, let me ask your question back. Do you still love my daughter? Is that the reason why you came back?” she asked. Vanz slowly nodded his head. “It has always been her...” he said. “Then, why? Why did you have to break her heart before? You knew her condition...” Marina said. “That's why I'm here. That's why I came back. I want to explain everything to her. I want to make things right. I had my reasons why I suddenly disappeared... and now that everything is settled in my life... I just had to come back to make her understand...” Vanz said.

Marina let out a smile at him. “Maybe some other time.” she said. Vanz just nodded his head. “I... I guess I'll come back when she's ready to talk to me.” he said. She watched as the devastated man before her turned to leave the resort. She doesn't know why her daughter acted that way. She knew Nadine still loves Vanz, and have been waiting for his return, but then she pushed him away. She wanted to think that she's not just ready to see him. Or maybe, she's afraid that the feelings slowly building up inside her will slowly vanish upon Vanz's return.

--

“Pao Pao, are you still awake?” Angelo asked as he turned to to face Paolo's back. Paolo just remained silent. “So, you're asleep...” Angelo said as he rolled onto his back. A smirk came out of his mouth as he glanced at Paolo's sleeping figure again. Beneath the darkness, Paolo's eyes are still open. He couldn't sleep because of the things he said to Nadine a while ago. He felt guilty for being mad at her. But then, he couldn't help but be angry at her for keeping something from him.

“Fine... just sleep. I was about to tell you something about that guy who came this afternoon...” Angelo said. Paolo remained unmoved in his place. “You know... Vanz...” he added. With that, Paolo turned to face Angelo. “OK, what is it?” Paolo asked. Angelo just let out a loud laugh, which made him annoyed. “You know what, this is not a good time to joke.” he snapped at Angelo. Then, he turned his back again. He heard Angelo laughed again, and this time, he covered his ear with a pillow. “I thought you want to know something about him?” Angelo asked. “I'd rather ask Nadine.”
“Ate will not tell you anything.”
“I will force her to...”
“I don't think so. She will not tell you until she dies, I guess... so, you're last chance is with me.”

Paolo let out a sigh, then turned to face Angelo again. “So, who is this, Vanz?” he asked. “What did my sister tell you?” Angelo asked. “That he is a friend...” Paolo said. “But I don't think so.” he added. “Oh, he is a friend, all right... a special friend...” Angelo said. Paolo fell silent at what Angelo said. “I am not in the position to tell you everything. I was still young back then, and couldn't remember anything. All I know is that...” Angelo paused, and shook his head. “I think it's better that ate tell you everything. I know she will open up to you. You just have to be patient with her, all right? Please don't be mad at my sister anymore...” Angelo said. “I can't promise you that...” Paolo said. “Don't be childish, Pao Pao... you see... at this very moment, the person that my sister needs is you. You have to promise me that no matter what happens, you'll stay by her side.” Angelo said. Paolo wrinkled his brow in confusion. “I don't understand...” he said. Angelo could only answer him with a smile before turning to his other side to sleep. “Good night, Pao Pao, Siopao!” he said.

--

Nadine stared at the box before her. As she opened the box, a tear fell from her eyes. The very first thing she saw was the picture of him and Vanz that summer that they have been together. She could clearly remember his promise that he will return for her, that he will come back, but he just kept her waiting. He never came back, and when they bumped into each other again, he is with another girl.

She doesn't know why he came back. Just when she is ready to let him go, he came back to look for her. She knew someone have already taken his place, and with him appearing in her life once again, she admits that it makes her hear confused, and the situation much complicated. She remembered the hurt in Paolo's face when he saw Vanz holding her. She saw the anger in his eyes when she refused to tell him about Vanz. And that sudden change in him scares her. She was scared that because of what's happening, she might lose Paolo eventually. And she is not ready to lose him, not now, not at this moment when she have learned to live her life with him.

--

Paolo sat on the sandy shore as he watched the sunset the next afternoon. That whole day, he have been trying his best to avoid Nadine, and it seems that she is avoiding him as well. His heart is breaking because of what is happening between them. They used to be real close, but because of this guy that suddenly showed up in their lives, seems like there would be a lot of changes between them, and he is scared of that change.

He also felt threatened with Vanz showing up. Angelo said that he is a friend of his sister, a special friend, and he is scared that because of this role in her life. He was scared that Vanz will take away his angel from him. He clenched his fist at that thought. “Bu hui ba! I will not let her take Xia Tian from me...” he thought. He lowered his head, and let out a sigh. What can he do to fight for her and for his love, when he knew that he is nothing for her? She doesn't feel the same way that he does...

“Pao Pao...”

Paolo looked back, and saw Nadine behind her. He looked away from her. Then, he felt her walk towards her, and before he knew it, she was sitting beside him. “I'm sorry...” she said in a sad voice. Paolo looked up at her worriedly. “I know, it's wrong for me to keep things from you... but you have to understand... it's not easy to talk about the past, especially if it's a painful one... you would understand if you were in my position.” she said. Paolo snorted at her. “As if I have a past...” he said. He made circles on the sand with his fingers as he lowered his head. “But if you do... you know how it would feel like. You know, Paolo, sometimes, I wish I was you. I wish I couldn't remember anything as well. I wish all my memories where all washed up... so that it won't hurt me anymore...”

He saw her staring at the sea. He could see the sadness in her eyes as she speaks. He could see the tears forming in her eyes. Now, he is sure of one thing – that the man named Vanz have hurt her before. “Who is he?” he asked. “I want to know, Nadine. I want to know what happened in your past. I want to know how he hurt you. I want to help you, and ease the pain that you are feeling right now...” he continued. She looked at him, and let out a faint smile. “Vanz. He... he is my first love...” she said.

There was a sting in his heart at that confirmation. “He is the only man I loved... but he... he left me. He left me alone... he promised to come back for me... but he... he never did...” she began. He just sat there silently, listening to her as she tells her story. “I was fifteen when I met him. It was summer. He was this young boy whom I saved from this very sea. Since then, we became friends. We became close. We fell in love. As the summer ends, our relationship bloomed, or so I thought. He... he was this city boy that just came here in Ilocos for a vacation, and since school is about to start, he have to go back to Manila. We... we had a long distance relationship. For the first few months, everything is going well. We write letters almost everyday. There was this weekly phone calls. Then, suddenly, his letters started to be few. The phone calls became shorter. Then, there was none... I haven't heard anything from him. He just disappeared in my life just like that... then one day, I saw him. I thought we could go back to how we were before but then I found out that he... he fell out of love with me... he... had another girl that he loves... and he loves her more than he loves me. I love him, and the only thing I can do is give him up for her...”

Paolo clenched his fist again after hearing her story. For him, Vanz is a fool for not choosing Nadine. He let go of a chance to be loved by a wonderful girl like her. If he was Vanz, he will surely come back for her and fulfill her promise, no matter what. “Do... do you still love him?” he asked. Nadine just stared at him. “I... I don't know...” she said softly. “I thought that when he comes back for me, I will be the happiest girl in the world. But... I... got confused. Maybe it's because he hurt me before... and maybe it's because...”

She paused and gazed into his eyes. “Because of you...” she thought. She bit her lips, and as she closed her eyes, the tears began to fall from her eyes. With that, Paolo pulled her into a hug. His warmth suddenly made the pain she is feeling go away. The comfort of his arms wrapping around her suddenly made her tears to stop falling. “I won't let him hurt you again.” he said in a firm tone. “I won't let him break your heart. I won't let him... I... I'll protect you from him...” he said. As he hugged her, he could almost feel the tears about to fall from his eyes. He could feel that she still loves Vanz. He wanted to fight for what he feels for her, but he knew he lost his chance. He will never be the man that Nadine will love, for she made it clear that Vanz is the only man she loves, and maybe, the only man she will ever love for the rest of her life.

They sat there, embracing each other. She, wanting to be sure of what she really feels towards Paolo. While he, hugging her to make her feel the love he had for her, for this might be his very last chance. “Wo ai ni...” he said silently. “But if you will choose him, I... I will gladly step back... I will...”

--

Paolo was busy wiping the floor when Vanz came in. “Hi...” Vanz greeted. Paolo looked up at him, and saw him smiling at him. “Is Nadine around?” Vanz asked. Paolo glared at him for a long time. “Bu shi.” he finally said in a firm tone. Vanz could only give him a confused look. “What?” he asked. “Bu shi.” he said again. Vanz could only scratch his head in confusion. “I don't understand you, man...” he said.

Before Paolo could speak again, Nadine came out. “Paolo...” she called. The two men looked back at her. Paolo saw her eyes shifted to Vanz. He saw her staring at him for a long time. Paolo could only lower his head in defeat. His effort in trying to hide Nadine from him have not paid off. She walked towards her first love, her eyes never leaving him. “Vanz...” she said in a soft voice. Paolo looked back at Vanz, and saw him smiling. “Nadine.” he called. “What... what are you doing here?” Paolo heard Nadine asked. “I'm here for the very same reason I came here a few days back.” Vanz said. “We need to talk, Nadine. I know I have a lot of explaining to do...” he added.

Paolo looked at Nadine. He was wishing that she wouldn't agree to what he wants. She closed her eyes for what seems to be forever, and as she opened it, he saw her nod her head. “I guess it's about time that we talk.” she said.

The two left, and Paolo could only watch them in defeat.

--

“This place haven't changed a bit...” Vanz said as they walked towards the shore. Vanz took a deep breath, and as he opened his eyes, he smiled at the familiar surrounding before him. “This place is exactly as I remembered years back... when I first came here...” he said. Then, he looked at Nadine, who was staring at him. “A lot of things have already changed, Vanz.” she said. “Including you?” he asked. With that, Nadine looked away from him. “People change. Feelings change. Change is the only constant thing in this world. You can't expect that things will be the way that they used to after you left them for a long time.” she said. She folded her arms, and sighed. “Why did you come back?” she asked him, still looking away from him. “To fulfill my promise to you... I promised I'll return for you, remember?” he said. “That was... more than ten years ago, Vanz.”
“I know. And I know, it's too late... but I am here...”
“You don't need to keep your promise. You have broken it...”
“Then let me mend it.”

Nadine looked up at him again. She saw him gazing into her eyes. “I love you. I have always loved you... but...” he faltered. He lowered his head, breaking his gaze from hers. “You loved another, remember?” she said. “I was confused that time, Nadine. I... A lot of things have happened to me during the times that we were apart.” he explained. “There are a lot of things that happened to me as well, but it didn't kept me from betraying your trust... and for my love to fade away...” she answered. “I know I am supposed to go back the next summer but...” he said. “You don't need to explain. I perfectly know why you never came back.” she snapped at him. She was about to turn away from him, but he held her hand to stop her.

He let out a sigh. He held her by her shoulders, and looked straight into her eyes. “Give me a chance to explain myself to you... to make you understand. Nadine, all I want is another chance for us... hear me out. If... if after you hear my side, you still decided that you don't want me back into your, then I won't bother you anymore. Just hear me out...” he said. Nadine took a deep breath, and nodded her head. “I love you still.” he began. “You are the only girl I loved like this. Many came into my life, but none of them were you. I could have came back... I had the will to... but... but my family needed me... I... I had to stay... for their support...” he said. Nadine shook her head in confusion. “I... I don't understand...” she said. “After that summer... there was a big blow in our family.” Vanz said. “We... we found out that my mom had cancer. And she... she died...”



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Saturday, May 8, 2010

Paper Stars - Chapter Twelve

Chapter 12 – Love Exists



“You're still awake...”

Nadine looked back, and saw Paolo walking up to him. She was at sitting at the balcony that night, and since she could not sleep yet, she decided to go outside and gaze at the stars. “I can't sleep. My insomnia is attacking again.” she said. Paolo nodded his head, and joined her. “I can't sleep too...” he said. Nadine gave her a confused look. “Why?” she asked. “I don't know... Maybe I don't want to go to sleep. There are times that I dream that I am drowning...” he said. Nadine let out a faint smile at him. “Maybe you're slowly recovering your memories.” she said. Paolo smiled, and shook his head. “When I have that dream, all I can see around me is black...”
“Do you always have those nightmares?”
“No. Most of the time, I have good dreams.”
Nadine let out a smile, and sighed with relief upon hearing that. “Glad to know that.” she said.

She looked away from him, and then gazed at the stars. “Are you waiting for shooting stars?” Paolo asked. She shook her head. “I just like looking at the stars. If I see shooting stars, then lucky for me.” she said. “Then why do you like looking at the stars, if you're not waiting for shooting stars?” he asked. Nadine smiled, and shrugged her shoulder. “I don't know, it has been a habit of mine since I was a kid. When I was young, I would always look at the stars when I can't sleep.” she answered. Paolo let out a smile as he sat on the chair next to her. “You love stars?” he asked. Nadine nodded her head. “I'm always fascinated by stars. I don't know... maybe because of how they shine brightly all through the night... how they sparkle... how I wish that I could reach them and take them at the palm of my hands...”

She looked at him, and smiled. “And maybe because I do believe that one of the stars up there will lead me to the one that God prepared for me.” she said. Paolo threw her a confused look, and Nadine could only giggle as she saw that expression on his face. “What did God prepared for you?” he asked. “It's not a what, it's a who. My soul mate.” she explained. “Soul mate?” he asked. Nadine smiled and nodded her head. “I do believe in those craps, all right. I do believe that one day, God will let me meet the man whom I am meant to spent the rest of my life with... the one who will love me forever.” she said. “So, how would you know if you found him?” Paolo asked. Nadine looked away, stared up at the night sky, and smiled to herself. “My heart will know if I found him...” she said.

Then, she looked at Paolo. Seeing the smile on his face suddenly made her heart beat fast. It has always been this way every time she turn to stare at him. Sometimes, she wonders why fate brought him to her. Everything has its own reasons, she knows that, and having Paolo in his life have a reason, although she isn't sure what that reason could be. Maybe it's to keep herself grounded. There are times that she end up being too serious of work, not that Paolo gives her the comic relief she needed, but his innocent and childish ways could only make her smile, despite the fact that she had a long and tiring day.

“Do you think that I also have a soul mate?” Paolo asked. “Of course you do, silly boy. I believe that everyone in this world has someone meant for them.” she said. Paolo smiled to himself as he looked up at the stars. “Do you think I will meet her soon?” he asked again. “We'll meet them soon. Don't worry...” she said. She leaned back to her chair and continued to gaze at the stars. “Eh... speaking of stars... I remember an old tale from before. It's about the weaver girl and the cowherd.” he said. Nadine looked at him, and smiled. “It's a good thing that you are slowly remembering something.” she said. “Just this story. Do you want to hear it?” he asked. Nadine smiled, and nodded her head.

“Once upon a time, there was a cowherd. He is a a very hard-working boy. Not only is he hard-working, he's also honest and kind-hearted. His parents died when he was a child. Later he was driven out of his home by his sister-in-law. So he lived by himself herding cattle and farming. One day, while he is doing his work, he came to the river, and saw a beautiful woman taking a bath. This beautiful woman is the weaver girl, a fairy from heaven, who secretly came down to earth. The cowherd fell in love with her in an instant. So, he took her clothes, and when she came looking for it, she saw the cowherd, and the cowherd immediately asked her to marry him. The cow herd farmed in the field and the Weaver Maid wove at home. They lived a happy life and gave birth to a boy and a girl. Unfortunately, the God of Heaven soon found out the fact and ordered the Queen Mother of the Western Heavens to bring the Weaver Maid back. With the help of celestial cattle, the cow herd flew to heaven with his son and daughter. At the time when he was about to catch up with his wife, the Queen Mother took off one of her gold hairpins and made a stroke. One billowy river appeared in front of the cow herd. The cow herd and Weaver Maid were separated on the two banks forever and could only feel their tears. Their loyalty to love touched magpies, so tens of thousands of magpies came to build a bridge for the cow herd and Weaver Maid to meet each other. The Queen Mother was eventually moved and allowed them to meet each year on the 7th of the 7th lunar month.”

After Paolo finished his story, he looked at Nadine, and saw her fell asleep on the chair. A smile formed on his lips. He stood up from his seat, and then carried Nadine back to her room. As he laid her onto her bed, he stared at her lovely face for a long time. He brushed away the strands of hair that's obstructing her view. “Ni shi... wo de zhi nu... wo de tian shi (You are my weaver girl, my angel...) he said. He let out a smile, then he leaned towards her and kissed her on her forehead. “Wan an (Good night...) he said. He pulled up her blanket up to her chin, and then turned off the lights of her room. As he left the room, Nadine smiled to herself. In her dreams, she was the weaver girl that Paolo was telling him, and Paolo was the cowherd.

--

While he was busily wiping the tables, he felt Angelo nudging him. “Shen Me? What?” he asked. Angelo gave him a playful smile, and pointed at a group of girls sunbathing outside. Paolo glanced at them, and saw the girls giggling as they sun bathe. “What?” he asked again. “Don't you think they are pretty?” Angelo asked. Paolo shrugged his shoulder, and continued wiping the table. Angelo could only sigh in dismay at him. Seems like Paolo is not interested in any girls at all. “Hay, Paolo... what's wrong with you? Are you gay?” he asked. Paolo shook his head. “Bu shi... I'm not. Why would you think of that?”
“Because you don't look at pretty girls.”
“Why should I?”
“Because we, as guys, should always check out gorgeous girls like our guests.”

Angelo put his arm around his neck and gave him a smile. Paolo could only glare at him. “If you like them, why don't you go and introduce yourself to them.” he said. “You are gay.” Angelo told him. Annoyed, Paolo brushed his arm away. “I wonder what's wrong with you. You're always scared around girls. I guess the only girls that you can be with for a long period of time is mom, Kara, Manang Helen and Ate Nadine. But even if you are around ate Nadine, you seems so scared. Well, not that I can help it, I know Ate is a scary creature... but around other girls... you seemed so... shy... and tensed. That I can't understand.” Angelo said. “I guess I'm just not used around girls.” Paolo said. “Maybe in your past life, you got raped by girls that's why you are so shy. Or, if not, maybe you are gay.” Angelo said.

Paolo just let out a smile at him. Angelo will never understand why he is scared around other girls, except of Nadine. He tried to stay away from other girls, because he was scared that Nadine will get mad at her, or be jealous. He doesn't want his angel to be mad at him. And some girls scare him, especially when they try to seduce him. “So what if I'm gay?” he told Angelo. Angelo made a disgusted expression on his face, and moved away from him. “Stay away from me, all right!” Angelo said.

Just then, Nadine came up to them. “Angelo, Paolo, can you help me out?” she asked. Paolo immediately nodded his head. “If this concerns those beauty outside, then I'm more than willing to help you, sis...” Angelo said. Nadine just glared at his brother. “Yes, it concerns them. Thank you, Angelo.” she said. “OK, what is it?” Angelo asked. “Can you help give them their orders? It's back at the bar. Thanks!” she said, patting the back of the two.

As soon as Nadine left, Paolo gave Angelo a hesitant look. “We... will give them... their... orders?” he asked. Angelo nodded his head. “You know what the boss said. And besides, we agreed already.” Angelo said. He could see the worried look on Paolo's face, and he could sense that his worry is because of his fear of girls. “Don't worry, Paolo. I'll help you out.” he said. “But... but...”
“They won't hurt you. They're just a bunch of girls.”
“But still...”
“What are hesitant of, Pao Pao? Those are just girls. And this is a good chance for you to overcome your fear of girls.”

Angelo winked at him, and then pulled him before he could react.

--

As he turned around with a tray filled with drinks on his hand, Paolo gulped hard. “I. Have. To. Give. The. Drinks. To. Those. Girls.” he said. Angelo walked up to him, and let out a sigh. “Come on, Paolo... it's not as hard as you thought it to be. You see, this is the only way that you could overcome your fear of girls. And look at those pretty girls! Don't you want to have a pretty girlfriend like them?” Angelo asked. Paolo gave him another hesitant look. “Ke shi... wo zhi xi huan ni de jie jie. (But... I only like your sister...)” he muttered. Angelo gave him a confused look. “Whatever. Anyway, I'm telling you... think of this as a practice on how to approach a girl. Just stick with me, and in no time, you'll find yourself a girlfriend.” Angelo said. “Bu yao...” he said, pouting at him. “And stop speaking in Chinese, will you?” Angelo said. Angelo walked towards their guests' direction, and he stood still in his place. “We don't want the guests to wait, Pao Pao! You know Ate always says that!” he heard Angelo shout at him. He let out a sigh, and followed Angelo.

The girls were smiling at them as they handed their drinks. “You're so cute...” he heard one of them say to Angelo. Paolo looked up, and saw Angelo already flirting with their guest. “But you are much cuter. What's your name?” Angelo asked. Paolo let out a smile, and shook his head. Angelo always had his way with girls. Then, he handed the last glass to another girl. “Hi, you're cute. What's you're name?” she asked. Paolo just smiled politely at her. As he was about to go, the girl held his hand, making him freeze in place. “Come on, tell me your name, cute guy.” she insisted. Paolo shook his head violently. He made a step back, but the girl stood up from her seat, and walked up to him. “You're so cute when you're shy.” she said, biting her lower lip. “I... I have to go. Sorry. Bye!” he said. He took his hand away, and ran back inside.

Nadine was outside, and saw what happened to Paolo. When she saw the girl trying to flirt with Paolo, she suddenly felt jealous, but his scared reaction, and him running away from the girl somehow appeased that jealousy, making her smile. “He's always scared of girls...” she thought as she shook his head. Paolo came running her way, and the girl followed him. “Wait, cute guy!” she shouted. Paolo paused upon seeing Nadine. He looked back, and saw the girl running after him. He then immediately went behind Nadine to hide.

“Hey, cute guy... don't hide from me!” The girl said. Nadine smiled at the girl, and folded her arms. “I'm sorry miss... but you see... my brother here is scared of girls.” she explained. The girl pouted at her. “Why? Am I scary? Is he autistic?” she asked. Nadine laughed as she shook her head. “No, he's not autistic. And you're not scary. It's just that he is scared of girls.” she said, pointing at Paolo. “Why is he scared of girls?” the girl asked again. Nadine looked at Paolo, then smiled at the girl. “He's gay.” he said.

Paolo's eyes widened with surprise. “Gay?!” he exclaimed. “Gay?!” the girl exclaimed. Nadine simply nodded her head. “Oh, OK... I get it. Nice meeting you, cute, gay guy.” the girl said. She turned her back on them, and went back to their group. As she left, Nadine turned to Paolo, who was furious at what she said. “Gay? Who said I'm gay?! Wo bu shi gay!” he shouted at her. Nadine smiled at him as she folded her arms. “Who scared the hell out of himself when that girl approached him. Definitely not me. I'm just doing you a favor, so that she won't run after you.” she said. Paolo lowered his head. “Sorry...” he said. “I think you should thank me. And besides, I know you're not gay. You're just scared of girls.” she said. Paolo shyly looked up at her, and smiled. “Xie xie... thank you...” he said. Nadine reached up to his head, and ruffled his hair. “You're welcome.” she said. Then, she turned him around, and pushed him inside the inn.

--

Paolo retreated to his room that night. “Aiyo... so tiring...” he said as he sat down on his bed. He let out a sigh, and massaged his nape. Then, his eyes turned their attention to a plastic bag on top of his bed. He smiled to himself as he took it. He took out the white dress that he bought for Nadine. “Piao liang...” he said as he looked up at it. “Hen ke ai... Nedine will look pretty in this dress.” he said. He looked with awe at the dress, that he didn't notice that Nadine was standing by his door with a shocked look on her face. He knew in an instant what she is thinking. “Nadine...” he called. He stood up from his bed, and walked up to her. “I... sorry to intrude you like that...” she said in an embarrassed tone. She knew it was bad to intrude his privacy at all. “Mei guan xi. Actually, you're here at the right time. I want to give you something.” he said. Then, he showed her the white dress.

A smile curved into her lips upon seeing the dress he is holding. “Is... is this for me?” she asked. Paolo nodded his head. She took the dress from his hand, and then tried it on. “Does it look pretty on me?” she asked. “Very pretty.” he said. He found her blushing with with what he just said, and her blushing somehow made him feel giddy. “I'll wear this tomorrow at church, OK?” she said. Paolo nodded his head. “Thank you for this dress.” she said. Then, she reached up to him, and gave him a kiss on the cheek.

Paolo turned crimson red at what she did, while Nadine suddenly felt shy at what she did. There was an awkward silence between the two for a while. “I... I think... I... s-should g-go back. Yeah. G-go back to my room.” she stuttered. “I... I'll g-go to s-sleep now.” he said. Nadine just nodded her head. She walked to her room, and she could feel his eyes gazing at him. As she looked back at him, Paolo immediately looked away. “Good night.” she said. “Good night.” he said.

--

The sun was setting down.

Paolo sat by the shore, adoring the crimson skies before him. The day's work have ended, and he gets his chance to rest for a little while. It's been over a year since Nadine have found him. A year since all of his memories lost. All those times, she was there to take care of him, making sure that he is all right.

He could still remember that very day she have found him. He knew he was lying lifelessly on the shore, and as he opened his eyes, the very first thing he saw was her, his angel glimmering in the sun. She had this worried look on her face. At that very moment, he knew he have fallen in love with this angel.

“Paolo...”

He looked up, and saw Nadine by his side. She was still wearing that white dress he bought her. A smile curved in his lips upon seeing her once more. “Nadine.” he said. She sat beside him, and then looked at the horizon. “You always like gazing at the sunset, don't you?” she said. Paolo simply nodded his head. “Another day has ended... isn't it amazing how time flies?” she told him. “It's been a year since you found me here. A year, and I still can't remember a thing.” he said. Nadine looked at him, and saw th sad look in his face. “Do... do you feel homesick?” she asked. Paolo shook his head. “It's not like that. It's just that... sometimes, I feel like a burden to you. You're managing the resort, and at the same time, you're taking care of me.” he said.

Nadine hugged her knees, as she looked away from him. “Don't think of yourself as a burden to me, Paolo. I'm thankful that fate have given me to you. Somehow, you managed to make me smile after a long day's work.” she said. Paolo let out a shy smile. She could swear she could see him blushing. “I sometimes wish that you don't have to remember anything from your past... so that you could stay with us forever. But that would be selfish of me.”
“I want to stay here with you. Forever.”
“I want you too... but what about your family and friends? What about the people you left behind?”

Paolo pulled up his legs, and hugged them. “I don't know. I don't want to remember them. Whoever I am before, maybe I was a lonely man. I prefer to be who I am today.” he said. Then, he looked at her hopefully. “Do you prefer the me now, or would you like me to go back to who I am?” he asked. Nadine paused, and let out a smile. “I prefer the Paolo that I know now. But whatever you are, whoever you are in the past, I would still accept you.” she said.

There was a blissful silence between the two for a while, as they watched the sunset. Then, she turned to him curiously. “You're Chinese, right?” she said. “I guess so. I speak the language.”
“Do you ever wonder what your Chinese name? I mean like Chung Cheng Ching... or Kwan Chung Fong... or something like that?”
Paolo let out a laugh. “Funny. Chinese name doesn't have to sound like that. And yes, I do wonder what my Chinese name is...” he said. “So, if you will give yourself a Chinese name, what would it be?” she asked. Paolo paused to think for a while. “Wang Zi. It means prince in Chinese.” he said proudly. “Or Chun. It means respect. Or... maybe Xing. It means star.” he said. “I think I prefer that you have the name Xing.” she said. She let out a sigh as she looked away from him. “How about me? What could be my Chinese name?” she asked him.

Paolo looked at her for a long time, thinking of a good Chinese name for her. Then, he broke into a smile. “I think I know what to call you in Chinese. Xia Tian... Ni shi Xia Tian...” he said. Nadine gave him a confused look. “And what does that mean in English?” she asked. “Summer. Because you will always remind me of summer.” he said. Nadine could only smile back at him. “I love summer. I think I love that Chinese name that you gave me.” she said. Paolo just nodded his head. “I'm glad you did...”

--

A figure entered the reception area of the resort. Nadine was busily doing some paperworks, and have noticed the familiar figure approaching her. He paused for a while as he stared into her lovely face. It has been years since they last saw each other, and nothing have changed in her. She was still as pretty as she last remember her to be.

“Nadine...” he called in soft voice. Nadine heard his call. She paused, trying to remember whose voice is it that called him. It was a familiar one, and she could never forget the owner of that voice. She slowly looked up, and saw Vanz walking up to him. She felt her heart beating fast with each step he made towards her. “V-vanz?” she said. He let out a boyish smile at her. “It's been a long time, Nadine...” he said.

She bit her lips. She wasn't ready to see him once again. Although she have wished for him to come back into his life, as of the moment, she doesn't know what to react. It left her with no choice but to turn her back on him, and run away, but before she could, she felt his hand held her wrist. He was pleading her not to go. “Nadine, please... don't turn away from me.” he pleaded. Nadine shot a glare back at him. “Let me go, Vanz.” she said firmly. “No. Not until we talk.”
“Let go of me.”
“Nadine... I waited a long time for this. Please don't take away this chance for me to face you.”
“I don't want to see you. Not now, OK? Let me go.”

Nadine struggled to break free from him, but he was too strong for her. “Let go, Vanz. Let go.” she pleaded him. “Nadine... just talk to me. Listen to me, then I will let you go.” he said. “Not now, all right? Just go... go away from me!” she shouted. Just then, she felt another hand gently held her wrist. She looked up, and saw Paolo glaring at Vanz. “The lady said to let go. Let her go, please.” he said in a stern voice. Vanz remained unmoved by his authoritative voice. Paolo then held his hand, pushing it away till he have let go of Nadine's wrist.

Nadine shook her arm. It hurt from all the struggling she did with Vanz. “I do hope that you are gentleman enough to give in to a lady's request. If you want to talk to her, you have to ask her politely, no force her, all right?” he said in an angry tone. It was the first time that Nadine saw Paolo this mad. It was the first time she saw him this protective of her. Paolo put his arm instinctively around her shoulder, his other hand cradling her bruised wrist. “Let's go. I'll treat your bruised wrist.” he told her. Nadine just nodded her head.

He gave Vanz one last glare before they turn away from him.






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Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Paper Stars - Chapter Eleven

Chapter 11 – Secret Glances



Paolo tailed Nadine as they walked through the busy aisle of the market. He never took her eyes off her, afraid that he would lose her. He's not afraid of being lost in the market. He have been here several times before, and he knew how to get his way out. What he is scared of is that Nadine might get lost in his sight. He's scared of not seeing her near him.

“Paolo?” he heard her call. He saw her turn around, and waited for him to walk up to her. “I'm OK. I'm not going to be lost. I've been here a lot of times.” he said. Then, he let out a nervous laugh. Nadine smiled at him, and then reached out her hand to him. “I'm not used to not seeing you within my sight. Will you hold my hand, so that I'll know you're still with me?” she said. Paolo let out a giddy smile as he took her hand. He could feel his own palm become cold as he touched her with her warm soft hand. He felt his heart beating fast as he felt her. He felt like being dizzy just being with her. As she looked around the market for the things she need to buy, he never took her eyes off her. He secretly gazed at her, admiring her from where he is standing. For him, her sweet, innocent face is like that of an angel - an angel which saved her when he almost died. Maybe that was the reason why he was so drawn into her.

“I think we should go to the other side.” she said. As she looked at him, he immediately wiped that loving smile on his face. “OK, whatever you say... you're the boss.” he said nonchalantly. As Nadine looked away from him, she let out a smile on her face. She loves trying to catch him whenever he secretly glances at her. She loves how his expression changes immediately. She wondered why Paolo was being like that to her. All she knows is that he loves tailing her, it was like she is the mother duck, while he is her duckling. It's not that she is complaining, instead, she loves that thought that Paolo always follows her around wherever she goes.

They went to one of the stalls in the market. While Nadine was busy haggling with the vendor, Paolo was looking around. At another stall, near to where Nadine is, he saw a white dress hanging on it. “Wow...” he mumbled as he walked up to it. The first thing he thought of while he looked at that dress is Nadine. She would look beautiful in it, beautiful and angelic. “Sir, you want that dress?” the vendor asked. Paolo smiled, and nodded his head. “How much is that one?” he asked. “350 pesos. But I can give it to you for 300.” the vendor said. He wanted to but it. He reached for his pocket to get some money, but as he looked on his hand, he saw that he only had a Php 100 bill on his pocket. He let out a sigh of frustration, and looked at the vendor. “Maybe next time, I don't have enough money with me...” he said in a disappointed tone. He lowered his head, and then walked up to Nadine weakly. “Let's go.” she said, handing him the bag filled with rice. Then, she noticed the sad look on his face. “Anything wrong, Pao Pao?” she asked. Paolo let out a smile, and shook his head. “I'm OK. Let's go.” he said as he took the bag. As they were walking, his mind is still on that white dress he saw. He really wanted to buy it, and give it to Nadine. He was into that thought, that he didn't realized that he bumped into Nadine's back.

Nadine looked back at him, and gave him a worried look. “Is there something wrong, Paolo? You're not with yourself...” she said worriedly. Paolo faked another smile, and shook his head. “Nothing's wrong. Mei guan xi. Don't worry about me.” he said. Nadine could only give him a skeptical look. He knew Paolo from head to toe, and she knows when something is bothering him. “Paolo... you have to tell me the truth.” she said as she folded her arms. Paolo flinched as he saw the mad look on her face. “I wanted to buy something back there... but I didn't have enough money...” he said. Nadine let out a sigh, and then reached for her wallet. Just as Nadine was about to give him the money, Paolo stopped him. “But I will but it when yo give me my salary... don't worry about it.” he said. “What is it that you want to buy, that you looked sad?” she asked. Paolo smiled at her. “It's a secret.” he said. Nadine could only sigh, and shake her head. “OK... are you sure you don't want me to buy it for you?” she asked. “Bu yao. No way.” he said. Nadine smile at him, and folded her arms. “OK, then, shall I buy you your favorite rice cake? I'm starving....” she said. With that, Paolo smiled, and nodded his head.

--

Paolo was busy cleaning the front desk, when Melody came in. “Hi Paolo!” she said in a flirty tone. Paolo looked up at her, and then he ignored her. He continued to clean the desk. Melody leaned over the desk, showing him her cleavage. “Hey... how are you doing?” she asked. Paolo shyly looked away from her. He did not dare to speak to her. When Melody noticed that he doesn't even want to bother with her, she pouted at him. “Why are you like that Paolo? Every time I'm here, you pretend that you don't see me!” she said.

She tugged on his sleeves, and then turned him to face her. Seeing that Melody was wearing a sexy dress, his eyes widened with shock and fear. “N-nadine! M-melody is here!” he shouted. In an instant, Nadine got out of nowhere, which ruined Melody's mood in flirting with her crush. “Oh, hey, Melody. Why are you here? I've just gave your mom our payment for this month.” she said. Melody folded her arms as she looked snottily at her. “I'm here to remind you about your payment next month!” she said at her. Then, she glared at Paolo, who immediately hid behind Nadine. “You don't have to remind me that. I know my schedule.” she said. She let out mock smile at Melody, which made the latter more irritated. “Fine!” she snapped at her. Then, she turned around, and left the two.

As soon as Melody left, Nadine looked at Paolo, who was still hiding behind her. She doesn't know why every time Paolo sees a sexy girl, especially Melody, he always gets scared. “Are you OK?” she asked. Paolo nodded his head. “She's gone now. Stop hiding behind me.” she said. Paolo lowered his head as he stepped aside. Nadine smiled at him, amused at the way he reacted a while ago. “Why are you so scared of girls?” she asked. Paolo shrugged his shoulder. “I don't know. Maybe even before, I am already scared of girls.” he said innocently. “But I'm a girl. Mom's a girl too. Why aren't you scared of us?” she asked. Paolo looked at her for a long time. “Yin wei... ni shi tian shi.” he said. Nadine folded her arms as he heard what he said. “What's our rule, Paolo? No Chinese, right? Can you repeat what you said, in our language?” she asked. “I said... because...” He stammered as Nadine looked closely at her. “Because?” she asked. “Because...” he said. Nadine fold her arms as she walked up to him. “Because you're not as pretty as they are!” he shouted at her. He knew Nadine will get mad at him for what he said, so he immediately ran away from her after saying that.

“Paolo! Take back what you said!” Nadine shouted angrily. Paolo hid at one corner, watching her as she became furious. He let out a sigh, as he flinched. “Why is it that when I want to tell her what I really think about her, it's always the opposite that comes out of my mouth?” he thought. He didn't mean what he said. The truth is, she is the prettiest girl he ever laid his eyes on. Melody could never compare to her. He peeked at her again, and saw that she's not mad anymore. “Zhun shu tian shi... You're my only angel...” he whispered as a smile formed in his lips.

--

“Nadine...”

Nadine looked back, and she saw Martin running up to him. “Oh, hey Martin!” she said. Martin stopped in front of her, and he catch his breath. “I'm glad I found you here at the shore...” he said. She looked at his hand, and saw him holding a string with crabs on it. “Crabs?” she asked. Martin nodded his head, and then gave it to her. “For you. We caught these one a while ago. I know that you love crabs.” she said. Nadine let out a smile at him as she took the crab. “Thanks, Martin.” she said.

Meanwhile, Paolo was walking down the shore when he saw Nadine and Martin talking. He stopped walking, and looked at the two. He saw Martin giving Nadine some crabs, and he saw Nadine smiling at him. He knew Martin have like her for so long, and that Nadine have always been rejecting him. Even though that is a fact he have known for a long time, he couldn't help but feel jealous whenever he saw Martin around her.

Nadine looked away from Martin, and saw Paolo looking at them – more like glaring at them. “Paolo!” she called. She waved her hand at him, but Paolo turned his back on them. “What's wrong?” she thought. “Is Paolo all right?” Martin asked. Nadine looked at him, and shrugged her shoulder. “I don't know. Maybe he is in a bad mood.” she said. Then, she lifted up the crabs on her hand, and smiled. “But I know he won't be in a bad mood anymore after I cook him his favorite crabs.” she said. Then, she looked at Martin, and smiled. “Thanks for the crabs again.” she said. As she turned around to leave him, Martin could only flinch. “But... those crabs are for you...” he said. He scratched his head, and then took his leave.

--

“Here are the crabs!” Marina said as she placed the plate of crabs on the table. “Wow! This looks delicious!” Nadine said. She looked at Paolo, and saw him glaring at it. “What's wrong with this guy?” she thought. Nevertheless, she found him amusing as he glared at the crabs before him. She took a big piece of the crab, and then placed it on his plate. He turned his glare from the crab to her. “Taste it. It sure is delicious. Mom's ginataang alimango is the best in the world.” she said. Paolo looked away from her.

He's mad at her. He's mad at her for talking to Martin that afternoon. He's mad at her for accepting his gift. And since the crabs came from Martin, he is mad at the crabs. “Come on, eat it now, Pao Pao.” she said. Paolo glared at her again. “I'm not hungry!” he shouted. Then, he stood up from his seat and stormed away from the table. Angry, Nadine stood up from her seat and called at him. “Paolo! Come back here!” she shouted. “Nadine... stop it. Maybe he is in a bad mood.” Marina told his daughter. “But ma... he just couldn't walk out on us like that!” she said. “Just let him be. You know Paolo can be a little kid sometimes. Just let him be by himself to think things through, all right?” she said. Nadine could only let out a sigh, then she turned back to her seat t have some dinner.

--

After dinner, Nadine went to her room to do some accounting. She needed to budget their month's profit in order to pay their debts. “Goos thing I gave those guys their salaries...” she thought. She looked at her ledger, and saw that she is still short from what she needed to pay their debts the following month. “What should I do now?” she asked herself. Then, she let out a groan of frustration.

Just then, her mom came inside. “Nadine...” she called. Nadine looked at her. “Mom?” she said. “Someone wants to give this to you.” Marina said, giving her a small white envelope. She opened it, and saw some money on it. Nadine looked at her mom. “This came from Paolo again?” she asked. Marina nodded her head. “He gave that to me as soon as he received his salary from you yesterday. He said he's sorry that he have to get 500 bucks, he needs to buy something.” she said. Nadine could only let out a sigh. “I wonder why he always have to do this. He worked hard for this, he doesn't have to give it to us.” she said. Marina could only smile at her daughter. “Maybe it's his way of saying thanks for letting him stay here. Nadine, dear, I know Pao Pao pissed you off tonight... but can you forgive him? You know that he isn't always like that. He is a good boy...” he said. Nadine nodded her head. “Maybe I was shocked at the way he acted a while ago... don't worry about it, mom. I'm not mad at him anymore...” she said. Marina smiled at her daughter. “You know what, I can hear some cat rummaging through our kitchen. Can you check out on it? And better talk to that cat afterwards.” she said. Nadine laughed, and nodded her head. “I sure will, mom.”

--

Paolo looked around the kitchen for some food to eat. The only thing he could see at the kitchen are the crabs that Marina cooked a while ago. Although it sure does look tasty, those were the last thing he wanted to eat. As he opened the fridge to find food, he heard someone turn to oven off. He paused as he began to feel scared. “G-ghost?” he thought. Then, he slowly turned around, and saw Nadine heating the crab they had for dinner. Nadine looked at him, and smiled. “These are the only food left in this kitchen. Everything is back out there.” she said, pointing at the kitchen on their small inn. Paolo could only sigh in dismay.

He sat on the table, and waited for Nadine to finish heating his dinner. A few seconds later, Nadine came in with the plate on her hand. Paolo just looked at the crab that Nadine served her, hesitating whether he will eat it or not. “You should try it. After all, I accepted it from Martin because of you.” she said. Paolo gave her a confused look. “For... for me?” she asked. Nadine smiled and nodded her head. “I know you love them as much I love it. So, I accepted it. For you.” she said. Paolo looked away from her, smiling to himself. He took his spoon and fork, and began to eat. Nadine could only smile in amusement as he ate hungrily. After a few minutes, Paolo have finished his food. “Aunt Marina really cook great!” he said as soon as he finished. “See, I told you. I wonder why you hated it at first.” she said.

Paolo could only smile at her. “Because those came from Martin. I hate Martin. I hate seeing him around you...” he thought. “Well, forget it. As long as you're full, I'm happy.” Nadine said. Paolo looked up at her shyly. “You're not mad at me anymore?” he asked. Nadine smiled and shook his head. “How can I stay mad at you?” she said. Then, she reached out for his hand, and held it. “Paolo... thank you. You know, you shouldn't be giving me all of your salary. You worked hard for it...” she said. Paolo smiled, and shook his head. “I really don't mind, Nadine. I'm glad that in my own little way, I was able to help you. Besides, where should I spend it? I live here for free. I eat here for free. I don't need it. As long as you let me stay here with you, then I'm contented.” he said. Nadine smiled at him again. “But you took Php500 from your salary?” she asked.

Paolo looked away from her. “Uh... yeah... I want to buy something.” he said. Nadine let out a laugh at his reaction. “OK. I won't ask what is it that you want to buy. If you want, I can go to the market with you tomorrow so that you can buy it, all right?” she said. Paolo looked at her again, and smiled. “You don't have to. I'll ask Manong Lito to accompany me. It's a boy thing.” he said, winking at her. With that, Nadine let out a smile.

Being around Paolo made her forget all of her problems. She love staying beside him, and she loved his childish ways. Somehow, she wished she could stay forever with him, and that he will always stay as childish as he is.

Labels: original story, Paper Stars

Saturday, March 13, 2010

Paper Stars - Chapter Ten

Chapter 10 – Moving On


It was afternoon, and Paolo stood by the veranda, gazing at the sight of the sea before him. It's been a week since he have been staying at the Crimson Skies Resort. He heeded what Nadine told him about not forcing himself to remember anything from his past. Although he is not thinking of the events that left him with no memories, something is still occupying his thoughts.

“Paolo...”

A smile on his lips was formed upon hearing that familiar voice. As he turned around, he saw Nadine walking up to him. “What are you doing here? Don't tell me you're forcing yourself to remember anything again...” she said. He simply shook his head. “No... Whatever I do, my mind is still blank. I don't think I can retrieve my memories anytime sooner.” he said. “But you seem to be in your deep thoughts. What's wrong?” she asked worriedly. “Nadine... can I ask you a question?” he said. Nadine gave him a confused look as he nodded his head. “Why... why is this place called Crimson Skies?” he asked.

Upon hearing his question, Nadine smiled at him. She looked at her watch, saw that it was almost night time. She gazed up at the horizon as she walked beside him. “Look before you, Pao Pao...” she said. Paolo looked back. The sun was setting down. The sky looked as if it was splashed with orange, red, pink and yellow colors. Those colors turn to reflect on the blue sea. Red skies surrounds the sun, as it slowly sets down. The skies slowly turns into a darker shade as the sun goes down. It was as if the sea was slowly hiding the sun, to make way for the night. “This is the most beautiful spot in this place at this time. And the sunset is always the most beautiful when seen at this place...” she said. Then, she looked up at him, and smiled. “Do you agree?” she asked. Paolo was mesmerized by the sight of the sunset before him. Seeing it, he know understand why Nadine thinks this is the most beautiful place on earth.

“Sunset... I love sunset. I love seeing the sun goes down, and then everything would turn dark. I like how the skies slowly turns into night... and the fact that another long day have passed...” she said to him.

--

Xue walked into her room, and then sat on her bed gently. It's been a week since Jiang Wei's funeral, and until now, she couldn't believe that the man she loves was taken away just like that. “Jiang Wei...” she whispered. As she closed her eyes, a tear fell down her cheek. Just when she have learned to depend on him, just when she have learned to live her life with him, he suddenly leaved her. She have waited for him for a long time, and now that she had him, he would disappear into her life like that. She doesn't know how to start living without him. She doesn't know exactly what to do to move on. She would be able to accept it if Jiang Wei left her for another girl, because she knew that it means he is still alive, but the mere thought of losing him forever could only break her heart.

She hugged herself as she lay herself down to her bed. It will be another night that she will cry herself to sleep. She will cry once again for her loss. She will cry again because of the man who left her alone in the world.

--

Ah Ren took an old photo of him and Jiang Wei from his table. It was a childhood photo of them together, during one of their soccer games. From the picture, Jiang Wei had his arm around him, while he was raising up the trophy he was holding. He remembered that moment, for it was the time that they won the soccer game, and he became the MVP. He have known Jiang Wei for so long. They belong to the same neighborhood, and they went to the same school from kinder till college. He was an only child, and he always regards Jiang Wei as the brother that destiny forgot to give him.

They were inseparable as kids, and when he told Jiang Wei that he had to go to the States to further his studies, he could still remember the anger in his face. “Why are you leaving me? You said you will stay beside me! Ah Ren... I need you. I need you to support me...” he remember Jiang Wei saying. It was a big blow for him, that he knows. He was just starting out in showbiz back then, his father does not approve of his decision, and he can only rely on Ah Ren for support. It was a tough decision for him as well, but then if he does not take up that once in a lifetime chance to study in the most prestigious business school in the US under a scholarship, he knew that he would regret it forever. He remember how mad Jiang Wei is at him for leaving him behind, that he did not talk to him for days. On the day of his departure, Jiang Wei came and send him off. “Just promise me you'll come back soon... and that you'll always keep in touch...” he remembered Jiang Wei said to him with a smile on his face.

Now, it was Jiang Wei's turn to leave. He wished that he was just leaving for another country. But the fact remains that he left for good. He left his family and friends behind, and that he will not be able to see him again. A tear fell from his eyes as he thought of that. “Jiang Wei... you're so unfair... how could you leave us this way?” he thought. He hugged the picture frame he is holding, and for the first time in years, he began to break down.

For him, losing Jiang Wei means losing his own brother. It also means losing half of his life, and half of his own being.

--

“Then, as the sun sets down, the night time comes. It will be dark. There are times that there won't be a moon or a single star... there would be a time that you wouldn't be able to see a thing... you will be lost or be scared because of the dark... but no matter how long the night is, just like the day, it will come to an end.”

--

Pei Pei sat at the corner of her bed. She looked at the man sleeping peacefully beside him. She curled herself up, and clutched on the silk sheet that's covering her naked body. Sometimes, she wonders how this man could sleep peacefully despite the fact that he planned his brother's death. Her own conscience won't even let her sleep at night because of what she did. Every night, she had nightmares about Jiang Wei, and in her bad dreams, she could see how mad Jiang Wei is at her for killing him.

She shivered under the sheets. She bit her lips as she closed her eyes. The memory of that night came into her mind again, vividly as ever. She could still hear the loud gunshot, and his pleading for her to stop her fooling game. Then, she covered her ears with her palms. She could clearly hear him shout for help. She doesn't want to listen to it. “Please... stop...” she thought. She began to cry silently as she remembered everything. “No... stop this... please...” she said softly.

Her trembling body woke up Chen Yi, who was sleeping naked beside her. “Pei Pei?” he called as he slowly opened his eyes. “Please... stop it... please...” he heard him say. He sat up from the bed, and then hugged her. He held her in her arms, as if protecting him from harm. “Sssshhhh... it's gonna be all right...” he whispered to her. It's known to him that Pei Pei is feeling guilty for killing his brother. And he took advantage of that guilt to have the woman he loved for so long. He used the fact that she killed her, and then promised her to protect her secret by being with him in return. But seeing Pei Pei in this state, he wanted to regret plotting a crime against his brother. It was wrong, that he knows. He shouldn't have been that selfish. But then, no amount of regret can bring his own brother back to life, or even make Pei Pei feel all right just like before.

--

“Congratulations, Yu Chen Yi. You are now the new Senior Vice President of Yu Enterprises.”

Chen Yi let out a smile at the directors before him. “Thank you for putting your trust in me. I assure you, even though I am not the first born, I will do my best for this company's success.” he said. “It's such a pity that your brother died too soon. I know that if the two of you work together, we will be the most successful company in the whole world.” one of the directors said. Chen Yi let out a smile at him.

The meeting adjourned, and Chen Yi was left alone inside the conference room. He stood from his seat, and then looked outside the window. This is all he wanted, to have all the power from the company he worked for. One can say Yu Chen Yi is a lucky man, right after his brother died. He was named the new secior vice president, he is now considered the first born of the Yu family, and he is now engaged to Zhang Shao Pei, the woman he loved for so long. But despite it all, he knew inside his heart that he does not deserve all of these. He cheated just to achieve all of his goals, and he cheated badly by plotting to kill his own brother.

“I deserve this. I deserve all of these...” he said to himself. He worked hard for this company, while Jiang Wei enjoyed being in the showbiz spotlight. He was the one who helped his father save their company during the time of its crisis. He should be the one rewarded, and not Jiang Wei, who's only role is to be the first born.

Finally, after all his sufferrings, he got the reward he deserve the most.

--

“In life, there will be a time of darkness. A time when nothing seems so right, or nothing seems too clear. It's a time in your life when everything seems to be confusing, and that everything that's happening to you is hopeless. But we need that kind of darkness once in a while, because it is only the dark that we can see the light. It's like seeing the sun shining again for the first time after a long, cold night...”

--

“I'm leaving for London, Ah Ren...” Xue told Ah Ren a month later. They were at their favorite restaurant that time, and Xue have asked him to meet her. Ah Ren was shocked at what he heard from her. “London? You're leaving again, Xue?” he asked. Xue smiled, and nodded her head. “Its not the first time that I'm leaving. Before, I left Taiwan with a hope that upon my return, Jiang Wei will finally notice me, that he will love me. I got that, Ah Ren... I was the happiest girl when that happened. But Jiang Wei left me. He left me alone in this world, with no one to turn to. Ah Ren... you know that I am a very dependent girl. I've depended on you, and then I depended on Jiang Wei. When Jiang Wei died, I felt so lost. I felt like a broken person, and the only thing left to do is pick up the pieces of me...” she said.

Ah Ren looked away from Xue as she made her speech. “Ah Ren... I'm leaving Taiwan, but this time, I will not be hoping for anyone to love me because I've changed. I know I am not the shy and nerdy girl that I used to be. I am Jiang Wei's fiancee. I was supposed to be his wife. If only... if only he didn't die... I am leaving Taiwan because I have to pick up the pieces and learn to live a life without him. I am leaving everything behind to move on. So that one day, if God will allow me to love again, I can give my everything to him, so that he will not live in Jiang Wei's shadow. I am leaving Taiwan to forget him. Because as long as I am here, I will be trapped in his memories forever.” she continued. She reached for her hand, and held it. This time, Ah Ren looked at her. “You do understand me, right?” she asked. He let out a faint smile, and nodded his head. “I understand, Xue...” he said. “i know wherever he is, he would want me to do this. I felt like I died with him, and it's not healthy, you know. I have a full life ahead of me. There's this whole world before me that's ready for me to explore. I need this. I need this to find myself.” she said. “I know, Xue. But you can't blame me for being sad. I lost my best friend, and here you are, telling me that you're leaving to. At least with you leaving, there is a possibility for you to come back, right?” he said. Xue smiled, and nodded her head. “I will come back. As soon as I've healed myself.” she said.

Ah Ren let out a smile, and then with his both hand, he held Xue's hand. “I wish you luck on your journey, Xue. If you feel lonely out there, you know where to call me. If you need to be saved, I promise I'll be on that first plane going to London.” he said. Xue shook her head. “It's about time that I learn to save myself Ah Ren. I can't always depend on anyone, especially you...” she said.

--

“As the night ends, the sun will come out again. It will be a new day, and a new beginning. Another story will happen before the night ends. It will be another chance to make things right, another day for another adventure, another opportunity to do what you have to do. As a new day begins, another memory will be made, and it's up to you if you will make a good one, a bad one, something that you want to regret and forget, or something that you want to remember... then, as the sun sets again, the cycle goes on. Night time will come for you to rest your tired body and mind, and another morning will come for you to make another history in your life. And that cycle will go on and on for the rest of your life...”

--

A Year Later...

“Wait! Wait! Stop!”

Nadine looked down, and then she saw Paolo jumping over a white sheet that's being blown away by the wind. As he fell on the ground, she couldn't help but laugh at what he did. Paolo heard her laughing, and as he looked up at her, he gave her an embarrassed smile and scratched his head. “Good thing you caught that blanket. If it got dirty, you will have to wash it again.” she said. Paolo let out a sigh, and shook his head. “You're so bossy.” he said. With that, Nadine let out another laugh. Paolo stood up, and then put the sheet on his basket. He went inside the house, and then saw Nadine as she walks down the stairs. “You should at least compensate me with food.” he complained to her as he handed her the basket filled with laundry. “Food? Don't I always compensate you with food? Don't tell me you're hungry again!” she said. Paolo smiled, and nodded his head. “But you just ate an hour ago!” Nadine said. “I'm a growing boy!” Paolo said, smiling at her.

Nadine couldn't help but smile and feel amused by him. He always acts like a kid. His playful personality have always amused him. Unlike the other guys she knows, Paolo have this innocence that made her feel at ease at him. He is so childish, that sometimes she things of herself as his mother, and him as his own son. “If you help me clean the guest rooms later, I'll consider making you your favorite cake.” she said. Upon saying that, Paolo's face lightened up. “I'm on it, ma'am!” he said. He rushed upstairs, and Nadine could only laugh at his reaction. “He'll really do anything for food...” she thought.

She was about to head to the reception area, when Manang Helen, their cook, approached her. “Ma'am Nadine...” she called. She looked back at her, and saw that she is in pain while holding her back. “Manang Helen, what's wrong?” she asked. She helped the elder woman to take her sit. “I slipped on the floor, Ma'am Nadine.” she said. Nadine gave her a worried look. “What?” she asked. She sat on the chair in front of her, and let out a sigh of dismay. “We'll be having a lot of guests today, manang....” she said. “I know that, Ma'am Nadine. I can still cook. I have Kara to help me out. The problem is, I won't be able to go to the market to buy all the things I need... so... if it's OK with you, let me rest for a while, and I'll cook the guests' lunch in a while. If only you can help me buy the things I need...” she said.

Nadine smiled, and nodded her head. “Take the day off, manang Helen. Tell Kara to do the cooking for a while. I'll go and buy the things we need for the day. By the way, where's Manong Lito?” she asked. “I sent Lito for an errand a while ago, and he won't be back soon. If you want someone to go with you, why don't you bring Paolo with you?” Manang Helen suggested. Nadine gave her a surprised look. “But... I just asked him to clean the rooms...” Nadine protested. “Let Kara do that. She will have enough time to clean the guest rooms before you and Paolo could come back from the market. You don't want our guests to starve, right?” Manang Helen said. Nadine let out a sigh, and then stood up from her seat. “Fair enough... Give me the list of things to buy...” she said. Manang Helen reached for her pocket, and then gave a piece of paper to her.

“Paolo!” she shouted. In an instant, Paolo came rushing down the stairs. “Yes, Nadine Xiao jie?” he asked. “Stop cleaning the rooms for a while. Go with me to the market.” she said. With that, Paolo's face lightened up. “Yes, ma'am!” she said. Nadine got out of the house, and as Paolo walked down the stairs, he smiled at Manang Helen. The elder woman just winked at him. “You owe me one, Paolo.” she said. He nodded his head. “I'll bring you your favorite pastry from the market later, manang Helen. Thank you for giving me this chance.” he said. “You better hurry up, or Nadine will suspect that we planned this.” she said. Paolo let out a laugh as he nodded his head. Then, he ran outside the house to meet up with Nadine. “Hay, that boy sure is in love with Nadine... I wonder why he can't tell her how he feels...” Manang Helen heard a familiar voice said. She looked beside her, and saw her husband, Lito. “It just so happens that Paolo is shy. Let's just help him be more closer to Nadine so that he could confess his love for her.” she said. Mang Lito nodded his head in agreement. “I wish he would soon. It's about time that Nadine gets a love life, rather than running the whole resort by herself.” he said.

--

Taipei, Taiwan.

At the corner of her room, she curled herself up, as if hiding from someone. There were nothing but silence and darkness all around her. But even in this silence, there were voices in her head that were shouting at her. They were laughing at her. Even in this darkness, she could vividly see the voices as they mock her. “Murderer...” the voices hissed at her. “You killed Jiang Wei...”
“I thought you love him? Why did you kill him?”
“Are you happy now? Jiang Wei was never Xue's man, but he will never be yours...”
“Murderer...”
“Killer...”
“You are a bad woman Zhang Shao Pei. A bad woman...”

She bit her lips as she buried her face. “Stop it, please... stop it!” she cried. She brushed her long, cruly hair, and then pulled it from. “Stop it!” she shouted. “Jiang Wei is never yours. And because of what you've done, you'll be forever be Chen Yi's slave.” the voice told her no. She shook her head violently as she cries. “No.. no...” she whispered. “You can never get out of this mess, Zhang Shao Pei. Even if you die, you can never get out from Chen Yi's clutch. He owns you now... and as long as he owns you, the truth will not come out. But what if he gets tired of you? You are doomed, Zhang Shao Pei... you are doomed!” the voice kept telling her. She shook her head once again. “No... no...” she cried. “The truth will come out soon, Zhang Shao Pei... they will all know that you killed Yu Jiang Wei. They will all find out that it was not an accident... that you planned his death with his brother... this is what you get for being selfish... you deserve to die!”

She could not take the voices in her head. Reached up to the nearest table, and then threw away all the things on it on the floor. “No!” she shouted. Shattered glasses were all over the floor. Like those glasses, her life is shattered since the day she killed Jiang Wei. Chen Yi may have covered her up with the promise of being his girl in return, but her own conscience keeps on blaming her for everything. “No...” she said as she stared at the broken glasses. “Then, die... you have to die to atone for your sins. You have to pay for your crime with your own life. Die, Shao Pei... die...” the voice told her.

She wiped the tears from her face, and then took the big shard of glass on her hand. “Die... I should die... I can only get out of this mess if I die...” she said to herself. Then, she let out a smile. “Yes, I should die. I should... I really should... if I die, I will no longer be Chen Yi's... and I can be with Jiang Wei... yes... I should die...” she said. She let out a loud laugh at her idea. Then, She lifted up her wrist. She put the sharp glass on her skin, and then began to cut herself. She saw the red, silky liquid flowing out for her vein, but she couldn't feel anything. She put the glass on her wrist, and then made another long cut on her wrist. She did that over and over until her whole arm is filling with blood. She couldn't feel any pain with all the cut she made on her arm.

She let out a weak laugh as she put her hand down. She leaned on the wall, her vision slowly blurring and her body slowly feeling weak. “Goodbye...” she whispered for the last time. Then, she closed her eyes to slumber to eternity...

--

“Mr. Yu...”
“Mo Li, I told you not to disturb me while on a meeting.”
“Mr. Yu, there is an emergency. The administrator from the condominium unit that Ms. Zhang is staying called...”

Chen Yi paused, as he looked at the phone on his table. Then, he turned to the man before him. “Shall we continue this another time?” he asked. The man nodded his head, and then went out of his office. Chen Yi took the handset, and talked to his secretary. “Zhou xiao jie, this must be a real emergency. I will not forgive you for interrupting me.” he said firmly. “I understand, Mr. Yu, but the administrator called... they found Zhang xiao jie dead on her condo unit this morning...”

He felt as if someone splashed cold water on his back upon hearing what Mo Li said. “They saw her lying in her own pool of blood, and then they saw the cuts on her arm. Before that, they were hearing Ms. Zhang crying and shouting at someone...” his secretary said. He fell silent after hearing what his secretary said. “M-mo Li... cancel all my appointments for today.” he said. He put the phone down, and then grabbed his coat. He rushed out to see Pei Pei. He needed to see her for one last time.

Labels: original story, Paper Stars

Paper Stars - Chapter Nine

Chapter 9 – Lost And Found



The door opened. All the maids lowered their head as their master came in. Yu Ming Zhe came as soon as his younger son, Chen Yi, called him regarding the disappearance of his first born. “Have they seen him yet?” he asked Chen Yi as he approached his father. “They are searching for him now, dad.” he said. “How is Xue?” the elder man asked. “She is upstairs. Ah Ren is consoling her. She have been crying nonstop since she heard the news about Jiang Wei being lost at sea.” Chen Yi explained.

The elder man looked piercingly at his younger son. “Yu Chen Yi... how can you not look after your brother? Why did you not stop him from drinking too much?” he asked him in a firm tone. Chen Yi looked at his father and he could see his fury at him. “D-dad... I... I didn't know this would all happen...” he said. “You are not using that small brain of yours, Chen Yi! You were there with your brother! You should have looked after him, instead of drinking yourself to death!” he scolded him. Chen Yi looked down. Hew clenched his fist as he listened to his father's nagging. He wasn't ready for this kind of reaction from his dad. He thought that when Jiang Wei is gone, he will get his father's affection, but he was wrong.

“You knew how important the first born it to our family, Chen Yi, and yet you failed to look after him!” his father said. “It wasn't my fault!” he shouted at his father out of rage. “It wasn't my fault that Jiang Wei drunk himself to death. It wasn't my fault that he is dead drunk, that he insisted us to sail. It wasn't my fault that my brother is stupid enough not to know that it's very dangerous to swim in the open water at night, and most of all, at his state that he is drunk! I am not responsible for him, dad. Jiang Wei is old enough to realize what he is doing is wrong.” he said angrily to his father. Yu Ming Zhe was shocked at what Chen Yi said. Chen Yi realized that he should have not let his own jealousy get in between him and his father. For sure, right now, his father needs him. He let out a sigh, and shook his head. “I'm sorry pa... I... I just had a long night trying to talk with the coastguards... I... I need to call them again for some updates.” he said. He turned his back wearily on his father, and headed to the den.

--

Paolo sat on his bed. It was afternoon, and he was waiting for Nadine to visit him at the hospital. It was his third and last day at the hospital, and he was happy when Nadine told him that he will be staying with them. He was thankful to all the deities that it was her that saved him when he was washed ashore. He doesn't know what exactly it is that happened to him before he lost his memories, but he was thankful that he was saved by an angel, which is Nadine.

“Good afternoon!” he heard a cheerful voice say. He looked by the door, and saw Nadine entering his room. His face lightened up upon having a glimpse of her. “Ni hao...” he said. “I told you, no Chinese, right? If you keep on saying things in Chinese, then I'll leave you here at the hospital tomorrow.” she threatened him. Paolo suddenly had this scared expression on his face upon hearing that. His eyes widened, and his mouth fell open, which made Nadine laugh. “I'm just kidding. How could I leave a poor soul like you here?” she said. With that, Paolo gave her a smile.

She sat beside him, and took out a bun and gave it to him. “Here's your favorite siopao, as requested.” she said. Paolo smiled at her, and nodded his head. “Xie xie... I mean, thank you.” he said. Nadine smiled as she watched him munch his food. Since she met Paolo, she feels this kind of happiness in her heart whenever she sees him light up. Paolo have been so appreciative of whatever it is that she gave him, and she was happy because of that. “How are you feeling today, Pao Pao?” she asked. He turned to her, and with his mouth full, he smiled, then he gave her a thumb's up sign. “That's good. Tomorrow, you'll be coming home with us. Are you excited?” she asked.

Paolo paused. Nadine could see the smile on his face slowly fading. He is excited, all right, but he knew that Nadine's home is not his real home. It's just a temporary home, until all of his memories comes back. “What's wrong?” she asked him. “Dui bu qi... sorry... I have to bother you so much with me going to your home...” he said. She smiled at him, and shook his head. “You don't have to worry about a thing. And don't be sorry, because it's my pleasure to help you out. I know it wouldn't be like the home you had back in China or whatever, but I can assure you that you are most welcome to stay there as long as you want.” she said. Paolo shook his head. “As soon as I get to remember a thing, I will leave. I've burdened you so much, and I can't burden you anymore because of my condition...” he said. “Fair enough, but don't try so hard to remember a thing, all right? Don't stress yourself out.” she said. Paolo smiled at her again and nodded his head.

--

“Xue...”

Xue turned around, and saw Jiang Wei walking up to him. He seems ever so handsome in his white suit. She let out a smile as she looked at him. “Yu Jiang Wei...” she called. Then, she ran towards him, and as she reached him, she embraced him tight. “Yu Jiang Wei... I know you won't leave me. I know you won't...” she whispered to him. She looked up to him, and saw him looking into her eyes sadly. “Xue...” he whispered. The smile on her face slowly disappeared. “I'm sorry... I'm sorry that I can't fulfill my promise to you. My time has come...” he said sadly. Xue shook her head. She could feel her tears about to fall from her eyes. “No... no... please don't say that... you promised me that we'll be together forever... you promised you'll spend the rest of your life with me... I thought you love me? If you love me, then you have to keep that promise to me...” she said. She was trying her best not to cry in front of him.

She saw the tears fall from Jiang Wei's eyes. “If only I could, I will be with you forever, Xue... but it's time for me to go.” Jiang Wei said. Xue shook her head. She held on tight to him, not wanting him to go. “No... Jiang Wei... please don't do this to me... please don't leave me...” she pleaded. Jiang Wei took her hand away from him. He held her hands tight, then leaned down to her and kissed her on the lips for the last time. She could feel his salty tears as they kissed. Then, he broke away. He stepped back away from her, slowly letting her go from his arms. “I love you, Xue... always remember that. Goodbye...” he said. He drifted farther and farther away from her. Xue ran after him, but she could not catch up with him. “Jiang Wei... don't leave me...” she cried. “Goodbye...”

“Jiang Wei!”

Cold sweats formed on her forehead as she woke up from that bad dream. At least it is just a dream for Xue. At least, there is still hope that Jiang Wei will come back to her, but her dream felt so real and it scares her so. She sat up from her bed. She curled up, and hugged her knees. Tears began to fall from her eyes as she closed it. “Jiang Wei... please come back to me... please...” she thought. She bit her lips and buried her face on her knees as she cried. She wished that wherever Jiang Wei is, he could hear her cries, so that he'll come back to him soon.

“Xue?” she heard someone call. She looked up, and saw Ah Ren by her door. “Ah Ren...” she called helplessly. Ah Ren walked up to her. He sat on her bed, and then hugged her tight, letting her cry on his shoulder. “Sssshhhh... everything will be fine, Xue...” he whispered to her. Xue held on tight to him as she continued to cry. “I... I dreamed of Jiang Wei... he... he was saying goodbye to me...” she managed to say in between sobs. “It won't come true, Xue. Jiang Wei will come back to you. He's going to marry you, remember?” Ah Ren said. He was hoping he could cheer up Xue with what he said, but it's not the case. “I'm so scared... Ah Ren... I'm so scared... what... what if Jiang Wei never comes back for me?” she said to him. Ah Ren could only hug her tighter to comfort her. “No... it won't happen, Xue... I trust that no matter what happens, Jiang Wei will come back for you...” Ah Ren said. As he consoled the girl in his arms, he is starting to doubt if Jiang Wei will really come back. “You better come back, Jiang Wei...” he thought. “You better come back for Xue...”

--

The car stopped in front of the gate. Nadine got out of the car first, and then helped Paolo to get out of the car. Upon seeing the resort, Paolo's jaw fell open upon seeing how beautiful the place is. “Welcome to Crimson Skies!” Nadine told him. Paolo gave her a confused look. “C-crimson... Skies?” he asked. Nadine smiled at him. “For me, this is the most beautiful place on earth.” she said. “You're only saying that because you live here. Geez...” Angelo retorted as he was taking out Paolo's things from the car. Nadine could only glare at her brother for what he said.

Paolo gazed at the sea before him. He have never seen something this beautiful in his life. “Wow... the place is really beautiful...” he said. Upon hearing that, Nadine smirked at his brother. She turned to Paolo, and smiled happily at him. “Really? You think our place is beautiful?” she asked. Paolo let out an innocent smile at her, and nodded his head. Nadine took his hand, which surprised him. He felt a tinge of electricity from her small, warm hand as she touched his hand. “Come on, I'll show you around.” she said. Before Paolo could answer, Nadine have pulled her towards the resort.

They run up to the shore. As soon as their feet touched the see, Nadine let go of his hand. She gazed at the see, and then took a deep breath. “This feels so good!” she shouted. Paolo could only laugh at her. Nadine looked at him. “Why? It does feel good. Having the cold water splash on your feet while gazing at the other end of the ocean, it does make you feel alive.” she said. “This... sea... this is where you found me, right?” Paolo asked. Nadine nodded her head. Paolo looked away from her, his smile slowly fading from his lips. “I still wonder, what could have happened before you found me... I kept on trying to remember everything... but...”

He paused as he felt Nadine's hand held his hand. As he looked at her, he saw that warm smile on her face. “What have I been telling you before? You don't have to keep on trying to remember the things in your past. One day, it will come back to you...” she said. “And what if it does not?” he asked. “Then, make new memories that you will treasure forever.” she said. Paolo let out a faint smile as his eyes gazed on the sea. “But I still want to remember... to know... who am I... where my home really is...” he said in a low voice. “It's only been days, and it seems that you're homesick. Don't worry, I'll do my best to help you retrieve all of your memories.” she said. Paolo gave her another faint smile. “You've already done so much for me...” he said. “My dad said, if I could help someone, I have to do my best to help that person out.” she said. Paolo looked at her again, and just like the l\very first time he saw her, his heart fluttered the moment she smiled at him.

--

Yu Ming Zhe came down the stairs, and upon seeing him, Chen Yi stood up from his seat. “It's been days already, Chen Yi. Are there any news about your brother?” he asked. “Dad, the coastguards have been searching on the area where Jiang Wei fell. They were also checking if there are any boats during that time. It's possible that someone have saved him.” Chen Yi answered. “And?”
“They said that there is a fishing boat missing. It was near the Batanes island that time, and it's probably been hit by the storm. They have sought the help of the Philippine Coastguards for their search operation.”
“Have they found the trace of that fishing boat?”
“Not yet, dad...”
Yu Ming Zhe shook his head, and took a deep breath. He just doesn't show it, but he is worried about his son. And he is also scared that they will find Jiang Wei dead. “I do hope they will be able to find that boat. I do hope that it went to that island, and I do hope that they saved your brother.” he said. “It is possible, dad. Let's not lose hope. I know we will be able to find ge ge.” Chen Yi said.

Just then, an officer came inside the villa, and went up to Chen Yi and his father. “Col. Hsu, do you have any news?” Yu Ming Zhe asked. The officer nodded his head. “We do, but it is a bad news, Mr. Yu.” he said. Chen Yi and Ming Zhe gave him a confused look. “What do you mean?” Chen Yi asked. “About the fishing boat, the Philippine Coastguards found that it wrecked and sank somewhere near the Babuyan island. And as they were making their search, the found a dead body floating in the area.

Ming Zhe was shocked at what the officer said. “The body... it had been so rotten, that you could no longer identify it. But, it had some trace. If you can only confirm if this watch belongs to your son...” Col. Hsu said. He took out the watch from his pocket. Just as he was showing it to Yu Ming Zhe and Chen Yi, Ah Ren and Xue were walking down the stairs. Xue was able to see the watch that the officer is showing them. “Is that Jiang Wei's watch?” Xue asked nervously as she walked up to him. Col. Hsu turned to her. “Xiao jie, can you identify if this is Mr. Yu Jiang Wei's watch?” he asked. He showed the watch to her, and she was able to recognize it right away. “It's the watch I gave him a few months back. I saw him wearing this before he left that night.” she said.

Yu Ming Zhe and Chen Yi's expression changed from shocked to sorrow. “I'm sorry... but the dead body that the coastguards found at the bay... he was wearing this watch... since you have identified this as Yu Jiang Wei's watch, then we can confirm that the dead body they found is him.” Col. Hsu said. Xue was shocked at what he said. “Dead... body? Are you kidding me? He is still alive!” she shouted at him. She could feel the tears cascading from her eyes as she speaks. “I'm sorry....” Col. Hsu said. Xue turned to Yu Ming Zhe and Chen Yi to seek the truth from them. “It can't be, right? There was no dead body found?” she asked them. “Xue, we wished that it wasn't true, but Col. Hsu just brought the news. The dead body found in an island in the Philippines was wearing Jiang Wei's watch...” Chen Yi said.

Shocked with the news, Yu Ming Zhe stepped back until he fell on the couch. “Jiang Wei... my son...” he thought as the tears fell from eyes. Ah Ren bit his lips, trying his best not to breakdown. Chen Yi just lowered his head as he accepted the bad news. And Xue was too shocked with the news, that she fainted.

--

“Dear friends, we are gathered here to say our last farewell to Yu Jiang Wei, a good son, brother and friend...”

Three days since they found out that Jiang Wei is dead, Yu Ming Zhe have decided to have his body cremated. A small ceremony was done in their villa in Kaoshiung, where is last stayed. Although Yu Jiang Wei have been the biggest headliner that week, they have managed to keep the ceremony private. They stood at the beach as they said goodbye to him.

As soon as the priest is done blessing the urn which held Jiang Wei's ashes, Chen Yi, who have been holding it opened it. He took a handful of his ashes, and spread it through the sea. The guest threw white roses to the sea as their way of saying goodbye to him. Xue walked up to the shore, and then placed the white rose she is holding to the sea, and watched it as the water took it away.

As she watched the sea take her rose, she remembered how it is that in a short period of time, God took Jiang Wei away from her. He took him away from her without a warning, without even saying all the things she wanted to say. She was not able to let him feel for the last time how much she loved him. He took Jiang Wei away from him just like that, and she wasn't even ready for it.

The guests have left, leaving her alone at the beach. “Xue... let's go...” she heard Ah Ren said. “Please leave me alone first, Ah Ren...” she said softly. Ah Ren walked up to her, and put his arms around her. “Xue...” he said worriedly. “Why did He took her away from me? Why did He gave him to me, then I'm just going to lose him. Isn't He unfair? What have I done to suffer this way, Ah Ren?” she asked bitterly. She felt the tears cascading from her eyes again. “All I know is that everything happens for a reason Xue. There is a reason why He took Jiang Wei from us. He will not take back something without giving us something much better, Xue...” he said.

Xue's tears continue to fall from her eyes as she gazed at the sea. She took a deep breath, and then she shouted at the sea. “Yu Jiang Wei! Yu Jiang Wei, why did you leave me? Yu Jiang Wei.... wo ai ni! Wherever you are, I will always love you!” she shouted. She was wishing that wherever Jiang Wei is, he would be able to hear what she is saying. “I love you... forever...” she whispered. Then, she turned to Ah Ren, and cried on his chest. It was breaking his heart to see her in this state. The only thing he could do right now is to console her as she cries for her loss. “Yu Jiang Wei... I promise you, I will take good care of Xue...” he thought. He closed his eyes, and embraced the girl tight, hoping that somehow, it would at least ease the pain and sorrow she is feeling.

--

Pei Pei stood by her window. Since she came back from Kaoshiung and heard about Jiang Wei's death, she became restless. She hugged herself as she gazed outside the window. Guilt has been filling her whole system. She knew she is the reason why Jiang Wei died, she is the reason why he will never come back. It was a bad idea to go with what Chen Yi is planning. She should have not accepted that gun in the first place. If only she knew that the gun was loaded with a bullet, she would have backed out.

“I'm a murderer... I killed Jiang Wei...” she told herself. She wished did not get too obsessed with him, or even selfish of him. She wanted Jiang Wei by herself, and she thought she will have him by herself if she went with Chen Yi's plan, but she was wrong. In the end, she lose the man she loved, and it was her fault why he died. “I killed him... I killed him... God, forgive me for killing him... I didn't mean to kill him...” she said to herself. Her body was trembling as her mind takes her back to that night. If only she could erase that memory, she would have done so.

Although they were able to make an alibi about Jiang Wei's loss, blaming him for being drunk and falling off the boat, as well as the storm that suddenly came, she doesn't feel at ease with the situation. The fact still remained that she shot him. She killed Jiang Wei. She could hear her own conscience blaming her for what she have done. She could hear the voices inside her head laughing at her for being such a fool. She may have gotten away with her crime, but she can never get away from her guilt. And to top of it all, because Chen Yi saved her by covering up for her crime, she made a deal with him that she will be his girl. She knew how Chen Yi feels for her even before, but she just couldn't love him the way she loved his brother. Chen Yi have threatened her that if she doesn't follow his orders, he will turn her over to the police.

She heard the door creaking. She heard footsteps coming up to her. She felt a pair of cold hands touching her bare shoulders. “Pei Pei...” she heard him call. The breath on his skin made her body tremble even more. It was as if his voice was telling her that he is hers now, and that no one could own her. He owe her life to this man now. He turned her around to face him, and as she looked up nervously at him, she could see th smirk on his face. “You are mine now...” Chen Yi said. She bit her lips, closed her eyes, and nodded her head. “I know...” she said. He lifted up her chin, and then kissed her lips hungrily. She let him took hold of her body as payment for the crime she have done. She let him own her and take her several times to cleanse for her sin.

She is now Chen Yi's possession. And as long as the fact remains that she killed Jiang Wei, she know there is no escaping him.

--

Paolo sat outside thew veranda the morning. He was gazing at the sea while trying to remember anything. But then, the more he tried to retrieve his own memories, the more it's getting harder and the more his mind gets blank. He could feel his head aching with what he was doing. “What is wrong? Why can't I remember anything? Please, make me remember just one little thing about my old self...” he said to himself. He clenched his fist, and hit his head with it.

“Pao Pao... why are you hurting yourself?” he heard Nadine said. He turned around, and saw her walking up to him. “My head aches...” he said. Nadine looked at him worriedly. “Have you taken your medicine?” she asked. He nodded his head. “I'm sorry, Nadine... it's just that I can't remember a thing. My mind is all blank. I want to remember a thing from my past, but I can't. I hate it... I hate myself for being in this situation. If only I can remember who I am, then I can no longer be a burden to you...” he said sadly. Nadine took a deep breath, and then smiled at him. “Pao Pao, I've told you, you don't have to try remembering something from your past. I know it's a hard thing to do, especially in your situation. I know, if I were in your shoes, I'd be frustrated as well, but instead of being frustrated, why don't you just replace your memories with new ones?” she said. Paolo gave her a confused look. “Aren't you even scared of me? What if I was a bad guy, or a criminal? What if someone is after me? I'm just scared that I will put you and your family in danger...” he said. She shook her head. “I don't mind. Besides, you are part of this family now. Don't think too much about who you really are. If you were a bad guy before, then use this opportunity to start anew and do the right thing. If not, then just enjoy being Paolo. I know, this is just a borrowed identity, but you can do the most in your life by using your identity now. And as I've said, make new memories – happy and good memories that you can add up to your old memories when you found them.” she said.

With what she said, Paolo let out a smile. “New memories...” he said. Nadine nodded her head. “I know you're feeling homesick, although you can't even remember where your home is. Pao Pao, this is your new home now, and we are your new family. We can make new memories together... just promise me that you won't forget us once you realized who you really are.” she said. He nodded his head. “How can I ever forget you. You were the one who saved me. I'll be forever grateful to you...” he said. “I'm glad.” she said. “I'm really sorry for troubling you... I assure you, this will be the last time I will try hard to think of my past. From now on, I'll start living as Paolo and make new memories with you.” he said. Nadine could only smile at what he said. “That's the spirit.” she said. As she was about to leave him, Paolo called her. “Nadine, can I ask you a favor?” he said. Nadine turned back, and waited for him to speak. “Can you teach me your language?” he asked. Nadine let out another smile at him. “Of course. When do you want to start?” she asked. “If you're not busy tending to the guest...” he said shyly. “Well, you're in luck. We don't have much visitors now, so would you like me to teach you Tagalog now?” she asked. Paolo smiled, and nodded his head. She reached out her hand to him, and Paolo stood up from his seat and took her hand.

And that day was the start of the new life of Yu Jiang Wei, or Paolo. But until when will he live without his past memories?

Labels: original story, Paper Stars