Chapter 31 – The Hardest ThingIt's the hardest thing I'll ever have to do
To look you in the eye and tell you I don't love you
It's the hardest thing I'll ever have to lie
To show no emotion when you start to cry
I can't let you see what you mean to me
When my hands are tied and my heart's not free
We're not meant to be
It's the hardest thing I'll ever have to do
To turn around and walk away, pretending I don't love you...
Ella as more shocked to see Ariel coming up to Chun. She saw her giving the man he loves a kiss on the lips. It was breaking her heart to see this scene, and yet she couldn't do anything because she knows Chun was never hers from the start. He was Ariel's, and will always be. Now that she's back, she have no other choice but to step back and give way to her. She let out a faint smile, and as she turned her looks away from the, she saw Arron standing beside her. “Seems like Ariel really missed my brother...” he said. She looked up at him, and gave him a faint smile. Then, she turned her eyes on the sweet couple in front of her.
Chun could only smile awkwardly at his brother and his fiancee. He never thought they would come back this soon. He wasn't ready to face the reality, and most of all, he wasn't exactly prepared to break Ariel's heart. “I missed you, Chun!” she said happily. Chun could only smile at her and nod his head as he let Ariel hug him again. The way Ariel smiled at him could only break his heart. She was so happy to see him, when he doesn't feel exactly the same way. She haven't had the slightest clue that he have fallen out of love with her, but he have to keep this charade for a while, until he could tell Ariel that he wants to break up their engagement. He then looked at his brother, who was embracing the girl he really loves. He knew his brother is in love with Ella, and seeing the smile on his face proved that he love her more, and missed her so much. He suddenly felt jealous at their sight. Arron have always been affectionate with Ella, but he was more affectionate now. “My brother must have really love her...” he thought sadly.
“I hope you did take care of my girl, ge.” Arron said. Chun smiled at him, and nodded his head. His girl. It's as if Arron have owned her from the start. But he wanted Ella to be his, just his, and not his brother's. He watched Arron as he held her hand. He smiled at Ella again, and gave her that loving look. “I missed you, Ella. Did you miss me?” he asked. Ella nodded her head. “O-of course... I did.” she said. “I know you really did. I hope my brother didn't slave you over work, and he have taken good care of you.” he said. Ella nodded her head again. “Mr. Wu did. He... he made it easy for me...” she said. She glanced secretly at him, and saw the sadness written on his eyes. “I did take care of your girl, Arron. Don't worry about it. I hope you did took care of my wife-to-be?” Chun said. Arron smiled at his brother, and nodded his head.
There was an awkward silence between the four.
“I... I have to go...” Ella said, finally breaking their silence. “Do you really have to, Ella? Why don't you join us for dinner?” Ariel said as he hugged Chun. Ella smiled at her, and shook her head. “I... I'm tired after that meeting Mr. Wu and I had this morning. I hope you understand...” she said. “It's OK, Ella. I'll see you tomorrow then?” Arron asked. Ella nodded her head. As she turned her back to leave, she heard Chun call her. “Ella, I'll drive you home.” Chun said. Ella paused, and looked at him. She saw him walking towards her. As he stood beside her, he looked back at his girlfriend and brother. “You guys take a rest for a while. I'll drive Ella home. I'll be back before dinner.” he said. Ariel smiled at him, and nodded his head. “Take care, OK?” she said. She walked up to him, and kissed him on the cheek before letting him and Ella go.
Along the way, both of them were silent. Once in a while, Chun would glance at Ella, hoping she'd look at her, or say a word, but all she did was stare outside the window. He was getting worried about her. He doesn't know what he could tell her to assure her that everything will be OK. “Ella, please don't be like this...” he thought. He wanted to hear her cheerful voice. He wanted to hear her talk. Because as each seconds pass that she's silent, it was killing him slowly.
“Let's break up.” Ella finally said. Chun stepped on the brakes, and then looked at her. He was surprised at what she said. “Ella?” he asked. “Let's break up, Chun...” she said. He let out a sigh of frustration. “Why do you want to break up with me all of a sudden?” he asked in a frustrated tone. “Ariel is back. I said to myself, once she's back, I'll end this madness, Chun...” she said sadly. Chun glared at her. Ella was breaking his heart with what she's saying. “Ella, I love you. Just give me time to tell Ariel about us, and explain -”
“Chun, there's nothing to explain to her! Do you want to break her heart?” she shouted at him.
Before she knew it, tears were flowing from her eyes. “When I saw her... when she came up to you and kissed you... I realized how much you mean to her. I realized how much she loves you. Ariel loves you, Chun... and I don't want to be the cause of her heart break... because I know how it feels like and I've been in her situation before.” she said. “Ariel will understand, Ella. Everyone will have to understand. I'm breaking off my engagement with her, and it's final.” Chun said firmly. “Not everyone will understand, Chun. Look, she's the girl your family wants you to marry. I am just someone who invaded your family and your life all of a sudden.”
Chun just stared at her, not speaking a word. Then, he closed his eyes. “Chun... we started out at a wrong foot. We got into this relationship without even considering the feelings of those people around us. We both knew we would hurt a lot of people, but we continued with this because both of us are selfish. I don't want to be selfish anymore, Chun. I have to give way to Ariel, because it's the only right thing to do.” she said. “And because you don't want to hurt Ariel, you're technically breaking my heart... is that right?” Chun told her, with a hint of blaming on his tone. “Because you don't want to hurt Ariel, you chose to hurt me instead? Is that right, Ella?”
“You're not the only one who's hurting here, Chun. Do you think this is an easy decision for me?”
“Hell, yes! You were silent all this time, and then all of a sudden you'll just pop out that let's-break-up line!”
Ella shook her head slowly as he stared into his face. “All this time... i've been carrying this guilt for having an affair with you, Chun. There was never a day I would think, what if this day would finally come? What if Ariel is finally back into your life? What will happen to us? I could only wish it wouldn't, but it already did. And the only thing left to do is this Chun. I have to let you go. We'll be making a huge mistake if we continue with this...” she said. “Don't you trust me?” Chun asked her. “Don't you trust me? Don't you believe that promise I made to you?” Ella nodded her head. “I do... it's just that I don't trust myself, Chun. As long as I am in love with you, I will be selfish. I will always be envy of Ariel. And I'm scared that I cannot wait for the day you will break it off with her, that I would ruin everything for you because of my selfishness. I love you, Chun... I really do...and it's the reason why I'm doing this...”she said. Chun stared at her for a long time. “Is this what you wanted?” he asked. “This is what should happen.” He closed his eyes again for somewhat forever, and then he nodded his head. “Then, I'm letting you go...” he said sadly.
She wiped the tear from her eyes, and then reached up to Chun and kissed his lips. It was a long and loving kiss, and it will be the last. Maybe Chun does not understand her reasons for now, but she knows one day, he will be able to. “Goodbye, my prince charming. Thank you for the stolen moment. Thank you for a wonderful dream... I will never forget the moments we shared for the rest of my life...” she said as tears began to stream down her face again. “Goodbye, my angel...” he said. He watched Ella as she got out of his car. From the window, he watched her as she slowly walked away from him. And at the sight of her leaving his life completely, he closed his eyes again, and cried for her loss.
Chun made silent steps towards his room. As he reached for the knob, he heard someone call him. “Chun...” He looked back, and saw Arron walking up to him. “Oh, you're still awake?” he asked. Arron nodded his head. “I'm waiting for you, ge. I want to talk to you about something...” he said. Chun let out a smile at his younger brother. “Sure, what is it?” he asked. Arron looked dow, he still have the boyish smile on his face and a blush on his cheeks. “It's about Ella...” he said.
He felt his heart racing against his chest as his brother mentioned Ella's name. “W-what about... what about her?” he asked Arron. “Ge... I know you were surprised that I came home without even telling you or anyone about it...”
“I am surprised, all right. I thought you'll be spending another year in the States for your studies.”
“Well, that was what I originally, planned, ge. My studies can wait. I... I'll go back to the States after I've done what I'm supposed to do...”
“What is it that you have to do? And what Ella have to do with it?”
Arron paused. He looked at his brother, and then smiled. “Ge, I decided to tell Ella how I feel. I decided to tell her that I love her.” he said. At that moment, he suddenly felt weak. How could he forget, his brother is in love with the girl he loves. Arron have been secretly loving Ella, and he felt bad for taking her away from him. “You always tell me the the men in our family can never be shy towards girls. I know I've been putting this on hold, but I really want to pursue Ella. I think I have enough courage to tell her know that I am madly in love with her. Chun let out a weak smile at his brother. “That... that's great, Arron. It's about time that... that you pursue her. You don't know, someone might take her away from you...” he said. Arron gave his brother a confused look. “Why? Is there someone who's been courting Ella?” he asked. Chun let out a nervous laugh as he shook his head. “O-of course not... all I'm saying is... is that... if you wouldn't act now... someone else will take her away from you.” he said. He put his hands on his shoulders, and smiled at his brother.
It was a good decision that he go with Ella's decision. It was a wise decision that he let her go. He wouldn't want to be the cause of his brother's heartache if he continued his relationship with Ella. Knowing Arron, he know he would take good care of the girl he loves, after all, Ella is Arron's best friend. He have hurt his brother before because of his strictness, and if this is the only way that can make up for his past mistakes, then he will give way to his brother even if it's breaking his heart.
“Ella is lucky girl to be loved by someone like you, Arron. And you're lucky that she... she also feels the same way for you. I... I do hope that... you will take care of her, and that you will not hurt her. She's a really great girl, Arron. You have to promise me that you will never hurt her...” he said. Arron smiled at him. “Ge, I'm glad that you've finally realized that. Ella deserves to be loved, she deserves to know how I really feel. Thank you for finally accepting her.” he said. Chun forced a smile on him, and then gave his brother a hug. “I want you to be happy, Arron. You deserve to be happy...” he whispered to him. As he let him go, he look into his brother's smiling face. It was breaking his heart. He was trying his best not to cry in front of Arron, or he would suspect something is wrong. “I'm only after your happiness, Arron. If Ella could give you that happiness, then go for it. I won't stand in your way anymore.”
Ella lays on her bed with the scrapbook beside her. As she flipped through its pages, she remembers the happy times she had with Chun. With each picture, she remember the happiness she felt whenever she's with him. It was like nothing else mattered when she's with him, and everything seems to revolve around him. She flipped through another page, and saw a picture of Chun smiling at her. His arm was around her, embracing her as if telling the whole world that she is his, and his alone. She traced her finger through his smile. She then closed her eyes, and let another tear fall.
Calvin and Angela gently opened the door, and from where they are standing, they could tell that their best friend is crying. Angela looked at Calvin sadly, and Calvin could only sigh. “Is she still crying?” they heard Jiro said. The two glared at him, and made a quiet sign. “Shut up, will you monkey boy?” Angela hissed at him. Jiro just rolled his eyes at him. “Ella knew this coming... why does she have to cry her heart out? This is what she wanted, right?” Jiro said. “Of course, it would still hurt Ella. She loves Chun so much.” Angela said. “She chose to let him go. She chose to break up with him. She have no right to cry.” Jiro snapped at Angela. “Even if she was the one who ended this, she have the right to cry. And she only did that because that bastard's fiancee is back.” Angela explained to him. Jiro sighed, and shook his head. “She knew this would happen. She knew that bastard is engaged to be married, and yet she chose to have a relationship with him... I think it's the most stupid thing our friend have done!”
Angela glared at him. “With the way you talk, it's as if you know everything. Ella made a stupid mistake, yes, but you know what, Jiro Wang, when you're in love, you tend to do a lot of stupid things. The problem with you is that you are too scared to take the risk. You were to scared to break your heart that's why you never take risks to love. Ella may have done something stupid by having a relationship with Chun, but at least she took the risk. And you? You were too scared to be hurt that's why you never really learned how to love!” Angela snapped at him. Jiro just stared at the petite girl in front of him. His friend is right, he was always scared to take risks, that's why even their own relationship is kept a secret from everyone else. “Will the two of you shut up?” Calvin said angrily to them. “Ella is in pain right now, and the last thing she needs is her two best friends having debate whether she is right or wrong. The main point here is Ella needs us.” Calvin said. Jiro just continued to stare at Angela, not hearing what Calvin said. “You're wrong, Angela...” he said calmly. “I took the risk a long time ago. And you knew that...” he said. Then, he turned his back to leave.
Angela could only watch Jiro as he leaves. Things have not been going great for the two of them lately, that she knows. If there's one disadvantage of having your best friend become your boyfriend, it would be that when things go wrong, it's not only your relationship that would be affected, but also your friendship. “Angela, anything wrong between you and Jiro?” she heard Calvin ask. Angela looked at him, and shook his head. “I know you and Jiro don't get along well, but can you try to get along with him until Ella is OK? I know I'm asking too much, but we already have a lot of problem here...” he said. She nodded her head. “Do you want me to talk to Ella?” she asked. Calvin shook his head. “I know the situation more than you guys. Why don't you go and talk to Jiro first? I'll handle Ella.” he said.
Calvin entered Ella's room, and from where he is standing, he could hear her muffled cry. “Ella...” he called. Ella turn to her side to look at him. Her eyes were swollen from crying. “Cal...” she said as she sat up on her bed. Calvin sat on her bed, and hugged her. He let her cry on her shoulder. “I thought I'm going to be OK... I thought I can be contented with just memories of him... but it hurts, Calvin... it hurts... I want him so much, but I can't be selfish... he was never mine from the start... I had to give way to the girl who really owns him... but I never thought it would hurt this bad... the pain I'm feeling me is killing me slowly...” she said in between cries. “I warned you, didn't I?” he said. Ella nodded her head. “I should've listened to you... I shouldn't have listened to what my heart said... maybe... maybe I wouldn't feel this pain...”
“But if you didn't, you will never be happy, Ella. When you were with Chun, I saw how happy you are. It's just that you two had the wrong love at the wrong time...”
Ella looked up at him, and he smiled at her. He reached for her, and wiped the tears on her cheek. “You will be OK, El. It might take a long time before you can move on, but I know one day you will. And I believe one day you will find the love you've wanted. It may not be with Chun, but it would be with someone who deserves you.” he said. Ella smiled at him, and then hugged him again.
Jiro looked up. As he saw Angela standing before him, he looked away from her. Angela sighed, and sat beside him. “I'm sorry... I didn't mean to say those words...” she said softly. Jiro let out a smirk. “You didn't mean? It felt like you know exactly how Ella feels...” he said. “Of course I do. I'm a girl too, and I've been hiding in the shadow for so long...” she said. Jiro looked at her again. “Ang...” he whispered. “Ella and Chun had a secret relationship. How can that be different with the two of us?”
“The difference is, the jerk have a girlfriend... while us -”
“The thing is, we have been keeping this thing for two years, Jiro. You didn't want to tell our best friends about us. At first, I understand... because we both know how Cal and El will feel if they found out that you and I are together... but now I don't think I understand it anymore.”
Jiro let out a sigh, and looked away from her. “Jiro, I love you. You know that. I chose to come back here to be with you. I chose you over a new life in Canada with my family. I've made a sacrifice for you... I did everything for you. I hope you would do the same thing for me.” she said. “Isn't it enough that I tell you that I love you, Ang?” he asked in a firm tone. “It's not enough, Jiro. If you love me... if you really love me... then prove it to me. That's all I'm asking from you. Yes, you did take the risk... when you told me how you really feel. But it doesn't end there.” she said. Jiro looked at her, and could see Angela's pleading eyes. “If you love me... then you will tell the whole world about us. I'm getting tired of all of this.” she said. She stood up from the couch, and then left Jiro alone.
Arron stood before the door. He looked at the bouquet of roses in his hand, and then he smiled to himself. He knocked on the door, and after a while, Angela opened it for him. “Oh! I didn't know you already came back! Welcome back!” she said. Arron just smiled at her. “Thanks, Angela. Is Ella home?” he asked. Angela was hesitating whether to tell if Ella is really inside their house of not. She felt that if Ella sees Arron, it would only pain her more. “I went to the office before I came here, and Joe told me that Ella's sick. So, I decided to pay her a visit. Is she OK?” he asked. “Well... you can say that she is OK...” Angela said.
She looked at him again, but as she opened her mouth to speak again, she heard Ella calling her. “Ang, who's that?” Ella asked. Angela looked back at her. As Ella got down the stairs, she saw Arron by the door, holding a bouquet of flowers in his hand. “Hi, Ella!” he said. Ella walked slowly towards him, and smiled. She wasn't ready to see Arron, but there's nothing she could do about it now. He is in her house right now, and he have to face her. “Hey, Arron... come in.” she said.
Arron went inside the house, and then sat on the couch, beside Ella. “I'll prepare some snacks for the two of you.” Angela said. She excused herself from the two, and dashed inside the kitchen. “By the way, this is for you, El.” Arron said, giving the flowers to Ella. Ella let out a faint smile at him. “Thanks...” she said in a soft voice. “I heard you're sick that's why you weren't able to go to work today. Are you OK now, El?” he asked. Ella nodded her head. “I'm gonna be fine, don't worry about me.”
“You have to take care of yourself, Ella. Maybe the reason why you got sick is because my brother is slaving you with tons of work. Don't worry, I'll tell him to give you a break.”
“You don't have to do that, Arron. Your... your brother... is nice to me... actually...”
She could hear her own voice cracking as she speaks to Arron. Just the mere thought of Chun makes her want to breakdown, but she doesn't want to cry in front of Arron. She couldn't let Arron know that something's going on while he isn't around. “Ge told me the same thing... that you're a nice girl. A great girl, actually. Seems to me that he have started to like you, and it's a good thing.” Arron said. Ella nodded her head. “Y-you're brother is really a n-nice man, Arron. I-its just that... maybe... I got mad at him for what he have done to you... but when I got close to him, I understand his reasons why he was strict at you...” she said. Arron let out a meaningful smile at her. “I guess you and my brother got really close while I'm gone, huh? Should I start to worry and be jealous?” he asked. Ella was surprised at his question. And the shocked look in her face made Arron laugh even more. “Look at you. What's with that look on your face?” he asked. Ella composed herself, and shook her head. “Nothing, Arron... it's just that... I never thought...”
Before she could continue with what she was about to say, Arron reached for her hand, and held it. “Ella...” he whispered. He moved closer to her, that their faces were an inch away from each other. He gazed into her face for a long time. “Aren't you wondering why I came back early?” he asked. “Y-you were supposed to go back in a year, right?” she asked. He nodded his head. “Aren't you going to ask what I'm doing here?” he asked. He stared right into her eyes. With the way Arron is looking at her, it's as if he was looking through her. She immediately turn her head away from him. “I... I didn't know why... I'm sorry...” she said. Arron moved back, and smiled at her. “While I'm gone, there's a lot of things I've realized... there's a lot of things that I should have done while I'm still here.” he began. “W-what is it?” she asked nervously. “I should have given us a chance...”
Ella looked at Arron again. He wore that serious look, that same look when Chun told her that he loves her. He squeezed her hand, and then moved closer to her again. “Ella... I want us to be together...” he said softly. Ella was speechless at what he said. If Arron have said it back when they were in college, she would be speechless and be nodding her head to accept his proposal. If she is still in love with Arron, she would have smiled and kiss him that instant and tell him that she wants the two of them to be together forever. But a lot of things have changed while Arron's gone, including her feelings for him. She knew inside her heart that she never love Arron anymore, for her heart was completely taken away by Chun. “Arron...” she whispered. “I know it's too late... I have been blind all this time. I chose to ignore what you feel for me, because I'm more comfortable with our friendship... while I'm gone, I realized that I can't make it without you by my side... You have always been there for me. You became my strength when I am weak. You were always there to stand up for me. You've done a lot of things for me, and the only thing I could offer you is my love. I want to be with you. You're all I ever needed, Ella. Your love is all I ever wanted...” he said.
He moved much closer to her this time. As the tip of their noses touched, he closed his eyes, and kissed her on the lips...
Labels: fan fic, My Two Love My True Love