Chapter 13 - The Decision
Baby, tell me that you still believe
That you still love me the way I love you
If you take it all away from me
You know I would die
'cause I'm not ready for goodbye...
She gave him a hard slap on the face. His cheek was red because of it. “How... how could you...” she said in tears. He turned his eyes away from her. “I'm sorry...” he said in a low voice. “I tried to love you.... but...”
“Why can't you choose me again?”
He looked up at her. This is what he's scared of the most – that when he sees the tears on her eyes, he would be pity her again. He doesn't want to make the same mistake... he just have to tell her the truth... because he's not just lying in front of her and in front of everybody. He's already lying to himself...
“You just have to let me talk to you... please...” Yi Quan whispered on the phone. It was another night of trying to call Kelsi. The past few days, Kelsi have refused to talk to him. Whenever he calls her up, it was just her answering machine that would answer him. “Please, Kelsi... I know you're there. Pick up the phone. Let me talk to you... let me explain everything...” he pleaded again. He was a little exhausted and irritated with what's happening between the two of them. He know it's all his fault, and Kelsi's not to be blame. But why can't she hear her out. “Kels... please... just listen to my explanation. If you think that's enough, then you can do whatever you want... just hear me out... I'll be waiting for you. I'll be waiting for you at my pad. I'll wait for you no matter what. You just have to give me a chance...” then, after that, he hang up the phone
Little did he know, Kelsi have been listening to him all the time. Maybe she have been harsh to him by not answering his phone call. Maybe she made it all hard for him as well. She have always wanted a chance to be with him, now that he's giving her a chance, why does she have to make him beg for her?
Then, she finally decided. She grabbed her shoulder bag, and headed to his pad.
He was startled with a loud knock on the door. He have been waiting for Kelsi for a long time. He stood up from his seat, and rushed to the door. “I've been waiting for you!” he said with a smile on his face. But that smile faded to find Ah Sa standing by his door. “I know you are...” Ah Sa said as she put her arms around his neck. “W-what are you doing here?” Yi Quan asked. “I missed you, darling...” she whispered to his ear. Then, she reached for him, and passionately kissed him on the lips. Yi Quan pulled away from her. “What are you doing?” he shouted at her. Then, he looked up to find Kelsi looking at them. He could see the shock and hurt in her eyes because of the scene she just witnessed. “Kelsi...” he called. Kelsi just turned her back on him, and ran away. “Kelsi!” Yi Quan shouted. He was about to run after him, but Ah Sa stopped him by holding his hand. “Don't run after her...” she said. Yi Quan looked at her, then took her hand off him, and ran after Kelsi.
Finally, Yi Quan was able to reach Kelsi by the elevator. She was already inside the elevator, and the doors were about to close, but he stopped the door from closing by using his hand. He went inside the elevator and stood in front of her. “Kelsi...”
“You shouldn't be here...” he heard her say. “Go back to Ah Sa. She needs you more that I need you.” her eyes turned away from him.
“Kelsi, listen to me...”
“You don't have to explain to me, Quan. I understand. I understand everything...”
Kelsi stood in front of Yi Quan. Her head, hanging low, for she was trying to hide the tears that were about to fall from her eyes. “I knew from the start I'll be losing you to her...” she began. “I know your feelings from her are stronger than what you feel for me... that you have always loved her. It just hurts because I felt you're only using me to forget her...”
“It's not what you think, Kelsi.”
“I know it's not what I think... I made myself believe that I stand a chance with you, that I am worthy of your love... but when I saw you back there with her... when I saw you kissing her... I knew I just lost the fight. She won. She will always have your heart...”
Kelsi looked up at him as she wiped the tear from her eyes. “The more you can't decide. The more, I am hurting. That's why I'm going to make a decision for you. Be with Ah Sa... be with her. I am letting you go... no, I am giving you up. You were never mine to keep with in the first place...” she said. Yi Quan stood, surprised at what she said. “You're just giving up on me like that?” he said bitterly. “I thought you love me, Kelsi. I-”
“Because I realized loving you is the most painful thing I've ever felt in my entire life... and it's hurting you too. I don't want to see you like this... I don't want to make it hard for you, Quan that's why I'm giving way to her. That's why I'm letting you go...”
She reached to his cheek, and kissed him for the last time. “Goodbye, Zuo Yi Quan...” she whispered to his ear. As the elevator door opened, she walked away from him. This time, she know it's for good.
"Do you think, if I am not an artist, we would still meet?"
"Yes... if God would allow us to meet... if it's destiny... then we would meet..."
"And we'll still fall in love with each other, right?"
"I would still fall in love with you, Quan... though you're not a star anymore"
She walked through the deserted street as she headed home. Her mind is filled with her memories of Yi Quan...
"Did you know that you just made this day the happiest day of my life?"
"And this would be mine too... if you tell me that you love me too..."
She thought their love would last. She thought her love is strong enough to keep him, but she was wrong. But, there was no regret for her. Being with Yi Quan is the best memory in her life. And even if their love has ended, she could live with just memories of him. “I guess this is where our story ends...” she thought. She have said goodbye to him... now it's all up to her to move on. She felt the tears starting to fall from her eyes again. Before it could, she wiped it. “I won't cry again... this will be the last time I'll cry for him...” she swore to herself.
She sat on her bed as she watched the television. It just didn't help that the face being flashed on the screen is Yi Quan's. It's been a week since they broke up. She have been hearing that Yi Quan finally got back with Ah Sa... she thought after all of these, she could pick up the pieces and move on... but healing her broken heart is a really difficult process. She turned the TV off. Then, she closed her eyes... even in the dark, she could see his face, smiling at her. She shed a tear once more. She know she told herself she won't cry for him, but the pain in her heart is just too much.
Just then, she heard the phone ring. She immediately took it and answered the call. “Hello...”
“Hello... Kelsi? This is Jeff.”
“You have to come home soon... Angel... she's gone...”
She felt numb upon hearing that news. She dropped the phone, and fell on the floor, still in daze. Before she knew it, her tears were flowing again...
--Dear Yi Quan,
This might be the last time you'll hear for me. Thank you for being in my life. Thank you for all the happy memories we shared for the last few months. I'm sorry if I was weak... that I just gave up like that... but I can't bear seeing you hurt because of me... because of her... that's why I chose to let you go. God knows I love you so much that I'm willing to give you everything, especially your happiness... even if it means I'm not part of it. I am thankful that I had the chance to get to know you, to be with you and to love you even if it's just for a short period of time. You will always be the best thing that ever happened in my life. I'm sorry for being selfish... I'm sorry for everything...
I will always love you no matter what,
Labels: fan fic, Star