Chapter 34 – It's Quiet NowYou said I love you too much, you’re almost drowning
You fear happiness is only for an instant, that it will fall apart in a second
Separation is a release; it will make you think
Whether you can give me the happiness I want
You said I give you too much, but you can’t give back
Can’t tell passion, commitment, eternity and infatuation apart
Love is a wound, we bear the pain on our own
Silence is my last act of kindness… because I love you so
Arron looked at the girl beside her, and could only watch as she cries silently. He have tried comforting her, but that have not helped her ease the pain she's feeling inside her heart. There are a lot of things he wants to ask, a lot of things he wants to understand, but Ella needs her silence now. He knows she will tell him everything in time, and he have to wait. All he knows right now is that she blew off her chance to be with the man she loves. She came to late to meet him, and that he couldn't wait longer enough for her. For him, it means that the man she gave her heart to doesn't love her enough to wait for her. If he really wants to be with Ella forever, he would've stayed and waited for her.
“Was I wrong in letting him go?” he heard Ella whispered. She put her head on his shoulder and stared away. “Was I wrong that I couldn't fight for what I feel? Because I was so scared of complications, of being hurt... that in the end, I was the one greatly wounded here? Was I wrong?” she asked again. “I guess when you love, you don't think what you're doing is right or wrong. All you care about is your happiness, and the happiness of the one you love. You're right that you let him go to be with the one he's supposed to be with... but I guess you were also wrong when you didn't give him that chance to be with you, even for the last time...” he answered. He looked down at her, and then he put his arm around her. Whatever the pain Ella is feeling now, somehow he is feeling it too. He could relate to it. He also fell in love with someone whom he's not supposed to fall in love with, and because he's tired of being hurt, and scared that his brother would not forgive him for falling in love with Ariel, he decided to divert all of his attention and love to Ella. “Arron...” he heard her call. He smiled at her as their eyes met. “Did... did you feel the same pain when you were in love with Ariel?” she asked. He took a deep breath, and nodded his head. “You don't know the feeling of her being so near to you... she was within my reach and yet I couldn't even have her. There were times I wish she would see me as a man, and not some little boy she regards as her little brother, but that's how she sees me...” he said sadly. She wiped the tear on her cheeks, and then she looked up at him. “I guess both of us are broken hearted now, huh?” she said as she smiled. He nodded his head in agreement. “When Ariel told me that she wants to go back and marry Chun, I was devastated. But I have no other choice but to let her go. It's my brother whom she loves the most, while I am just her friend. Chun is her happiness, and I have no right to take away that happiness from her. I'm just thankful that in that short period of time, God has given me a chance to show her how much I love her...” he said.
She rested her head on his shoulder again, and became silent. “So, they are getting married...” she thought. She knew this coming, but she never expected it be soon, and she never expected this would hurt this much. “I'm sorry...” she said. Arron gave her a confused look. “For Ariel... I'm sorry that you can't be with her. I'm sorry that she can't love you the way you love her...” she said. “It's nobody's fault but my own.” Arron said. “She's too blind to see how wonderful you are, Arron. You're a perfect boyfriend, and maybe a perfect husband in the future...” she said. “And the man you love is stupid for not waiting for you. You are a wonderful girl, Ella. A wonderful, and kindhearted girl. Anyone could easily fall for your charms...” Arron said. Ella looked up at him, and smiled. Arron gazed at her, and gave her his boyish smile. “I wish I realized earlier how much you mean to me, Ella... maybe things have not been this complicated...” he said sadly. Ella became speechless at what he said. Yes, Arron is right. If only Arron realized her true worth before, them maybe she have not fallen in love with her brother and feel this pain. “I wish...” she said. Before she could continue what she was about to say, Arron silenced her again with his kiss.
As they broke their kiss, Arron gazed at her, caressing her cheek gently. “Let me mend your broken heart, Ella...” he whispered. “Let me help you go through this... and help me forget all about Ariel...”
Ariel opened the door, and she saw Chun standing before her. On his hand, he was carrying a bouquet of flowers. “Chun?” she asked in a confused tone. He smiled at her, and handed her the flowers. “I'm sorry...” Chun began. Ariel gave her a confused look. “I'm sorry for not giving you time. I'm sorry for neglecting you. I'm sorry if you feel that I'm not that interested with our wedding, and I'm sorry for not helping you out. There are a lot of things in my mind now, and a lot of things have happened while you're gone. When you said that you want to marry me now, I felt I wasn't ready just yet... but my mind is clear now. I'm now sure more than ever that I want to be with you for the rest of my life. I'm ready to get married to you.” he said. She buried her nose on the flowers, and then turned her back on Chun. The smile on her face she had slowly faded. Sure, Chun is now ready to marry her, but she was having second thoughts. And it's all because of Arron. She could not deny to herself that she have fallen in love with him, but she have to go through this wedding to please Chun and their families. She doesn't want to be the cause of Chun and Arron's rift, especially now that the two brothers are OK and getting closer again. And besides, the reason why Arron came back is because of Ella. He wanted to confess his feelings for her, that's why he came back home.
“Chun... about the wedding...” she said. Chun gave her a confused look. “Do... do you think... we should go through this?” she whispered. Chun wasn't able to hear what she said. “What did you say?” he asked. Ariel turned to face him, and smiled at him. “I mean, do you think you should help me with the preparations?” she asked. “You know that I'm not expert in those things. And besides, I want you to do all the preparations so that it'll be perfect for you. Don't worry, I'll accompany you from time to time.” he said, smiling at her. “So, it means that every time you're busy, you'll ask your brother to accompany me?” she asked. Chun nodded his head. “Arron is more than willing to help us with this.” he said. Ariel turned away from him again. She doesn't want to spend as much time with Arron, because she knows that with each second she's with him, she'll fall more deeply in love with him. And she's scared that she might end up running away from her own wedding because she no longer loves her groom. Then, an idea came to her mind.
“If Arron will come with me each time you're not around...” she said as she turned to face him. “Then, can Ella come with us as well?” she asked. Chun was stunned to hear what she said. “E-Ella?” he asked. Ariel smiled, and nodded her head. “Why does Ella have to come with you? Isn't Joe going to be your maid-of-honor?” he asked. “Yes, she will come with me too, but I think it's better if Ella would come? At least I would get opinion from the two girls, right?” she said. Chun looked away from Ariel. The last thing he wanted to hear was Ella's name. “I guess... I guess it wouldn't hurt for you to bring Ella with you and Arron...” he said. After all the things that have happened, he doesn't think he's ready to see his brother with Ella. It's good thing that Ella will only come with Ariel when he's not around. As for Ariel, she decided it would be the best for her. As long as she sees Ella with Arron, then the more she would realize that what she's feeling for Arron is wrong, and that the two of them are never meant to be.
She held his hand, and looked up to him. “I can't wait to be married to you...” she whispered to him. “I can't wait too, Ariel...” he whispered to her. He cupped her cheeks, and then planted a kiss on her forehead. Ariel put her arms around his neck, and then reached up to him, and kissed him on his lips. “I love you, Chun...” she whispered to him. His lips curved into a smile. “I love you too, Ariel.” he said. Then, Ariel, hugged him. As he hugged her back, the smile on his lips faded, for he knows he's just lying to her.
“Ariel is asking if we can accompany her to the venue today?” Arron asked as he walked inside Ella's house. Ella paused, and then she turned away from Arron. She wanted to say no, for she knows she have nothing to do with the wedding, and she might see Chun with her again. But then, if she refuses, then Arron would suspect a thing. “Today?” she asked. Arron nodded his head. “You're still on vacation, right? Come on, let's accompany her. It will be fun.” he said cheerily. She looked back at him, and saw him smiling. Sometimes, she wished she could be like Arron, that despite the pain he's feeling right now, he can still smile and be with the girl he truly loves, helping her out with her wedding. But she isn't Arron, and if she got into his shoes, maybe she wouldn't last long. “W-what... what about your brother?” she asked. Arron shrugged his shoulder. “He said he have an important meeting to attend today, and he can't accompany Ariel...”
“It wasn't like your brother...”
“I know, El. Whenever Ariel is back here in Taipei, he would cancel all of his meetings just to be with her. Sometimes I think he's not interested to marry her anymore...”
“But then, they're still going through with this...”
“Yeah. I don't know if it just so happened that ge is busy with work that's why he's like that... but I'm thankful that he is busy. That way, I can have much more time with Ariel... before she gets married to my brother...”
The smile on Arron's face was replaced by a sad expression. Ella could feel the hurt he's feeling inside. She knows it's hard for Arron's part, because right now, he's being the substitute for the real groom. He was the one who's helping Ariel with the preparations of their wedding. “When is the wedding?” she asked. “Roughly around five months from now.” he answered. She let out a faint smile, and then she lowered her head. “Oh...” she whispered. “I guess it's really over between us...” she thought. “So, shall we go, El? Ariel is waiting for us.” she heard Arron asked. Ella looked up at him, and smiled. “Let's not keep her waiting.” she told him.
“And we will put the gazebo over there. That's where you and Chun will be during the ceremony.” Tiffany said, pointing at one part of the garden as they walked. Ariel just nodded her head in agreement. “It's all OK with me.” she said. Tiffany stopped walking, and then she turned to Ariel. “Honestly, Ariel... it would be better if we also get your fiancee's opinion on this. Why is he always bailing out on you? Isn't he interested with the preparations?” Tifanny asked. “It's just not Chun's thing, and besides he's quite busy with work nowadays...” she said. Tiffany just shook her head. “I've told you before, Ariel, I've been doing this all my life. I've encountered couples who are like the two of you, where the guy is not interested with the wedding preparations. And believe me when I say that those kind of couples doesn't get to say “I do” before the wedding day.” Tiffany said. Ariel just shook her head. “It won't happen to us, I assure you that, Tiffany...” she answered. She was unsure about what she said, but she have to convince her, and herself that everything's going well between her and Chun. She could not deny that since she came back, she have seen how Chun changed towards him. He became more distant towards her. “Well, I just warned you, Ariel. So next time, you have to bring Chun with you, OK?” Tiffany said. Ariel smiled at her, and nodded her head.
Just then, she heard someone call her name. “Ariel!” She looked back, and saw Chun walking up to her. She smiled upon seeing him. “He came...” she said in a low but dreamy voice. “Well, I guess I was wrong. Your boyfriend sure is interested with the wedding preparations. I'm sure, this wedding will go through.” Tiffany said. Chun gave Ariel a kiss on the lips as soon as he reached her. “So, did I miss anything?” he asked the two girls. Tiffany folded her arms, and gave him a glare. “A lot.” she said in an annoyed tone. The couple could only laugh at their wedding planner's answer. “I'm sorry... I had a lot of things to take care at work, but I canceled all my appointments today to accompany Ariel. I promise to make it up to her.” he said. “You should, Mr. Wu.” Tiffany said, finally smiling at him. “Anyway, honey, Tiffany was showing me where the ceremonies would be held.” Ariel said. As Tiffany discusses the details, Chun and Ariel listened to her. From time to time, Chun would give his suggestions, and Tiffany would take note of it.
“Are you sure Ariel wouldn't mind with me tagging along with you?” Ella asked Arron as they got out of his car. “Of course, she wouldn't mind. She was the one who asked me to tag you along. Besides, this is a good practice for us, at least we know what to do about or wedding.” he joked. He lett out a laugh, but as he looked at Ella, it seemed that she took his joke seriously. “Arron, about that -” she began. Arron just nodded his head. He knows just what she was about to say. “I know, Ella. You're still in love with that guy. But even if you are, I'm still hoping that one day, your feelings for me would go back. And I will patiently wait for that day.” he said. Then, he looked down, and took her hand, and held it tight. “Shall we go, El?” he asked. Ella smiled at him, and nodded his head.
They walked through the garden, and at the other side, they saw Tiffany and Ariel talking. “Ariel!” Arron called. Ariel looked back, and she waved at him. Then, she noticed Ella, who was standing beside him. Suddenly, she felt jealous at the sight of them. She watched Arron as he smiled at Ella. She noticed that all this time, he was holding her hand. As they approached her, he never let go of her hand. “Sorry, we're late.” Arron said as they reached Tiffany and Ariel. “Oh, it's OK, Arron. I'm keeping your sister-in-law company.” Tiffany said. Then, she noticed Ella. She eyed on her, and smiled at her. “Is this your girlfriend?” she asked Arron. He smiled shyly, and shook his head. “No, not yet...” he said. Then, he looked at Ella. “But I hope one day she will be...” he added. Ella blushed at what she said, and meanwhile, Ariel suddenly felt jealous at what Arron said. With the way Arron looked at Ella, it was telling her that she have lost the battle without even having a fight. Ella will always have his heart, she thought, and that fact could only hurt her.
“Ariel, I'm back...” Chun said as he walked towards her. He held her hand, and then turned to his brother. Then, he saw Ella standing beside him. He was holding her hand, and that sight made him furious and jealous at the same time. Ella looked up, and saw Chun beside Ariel. She was surprised to see him, but she guessed it's inevitable. She thought Chun wouldn't be able to accompany Ariel today because of work, but he's standing right before her now. She could see the anger in his eyes as he looked at her, and she couldn't blame him for being mad at her. It's all her fault, because she have been sissy, and that she did not even give him a chance to make things right between the two of them. “Maybe he's still mad after what happened last Saturday...” she thought. She couldn't stand his glares, so she looked away from him.
Arron, on the other hand, upon seeing his brother putting his arm protectively around Ariel, also became jealous. He knows he have no right to be jealous of his own brother, but he can't stand seeing him with the girl he truly loves. He's not ready to give up Ariel for him, but he have to do. He have to go through this charade so that he won't give away his true feelings for Ariel. And the more that he's seeing Ariel with Chun, the more that it's breaking his heart.
There was an awkward and uncomfortable silence between the four of them. Everyone could feel the tension, but then they chose to ignore it. Ella is not ready to see Chun, and so does Chun. Ariel is not ready to see Arron with another girl, and Arron is not ready to see her with the man she is going to marry. “Well, why don't we go to the restaurant for the food tasting?” Tiffany said, breaking the silence among them. She could feel something is going wrong, and she have to break the ice. “That would be a good idea, Tiff.” Chun said, not taking off his eyes on Ella. “Y-yeah... I need something to drink...” Ella stuttered. “I guess I need one too.” Ariel said. Ariel let out a nervous laugh. Then, she looked at Arron, and saw him smiling at her. She wanted to melt at that instant. It's been a long time since he saw Arron smile at her like that. “Well then, let's go inside the restaurant.” Tiffany said. As Ariel pulled Chun, he resisted. “I want to talk to Ms. Ella for the mean time. Would it be OK if you leave the two of us alone for a while?” he said in a firm tone. Arron gave his brother a suspicious look. “Ge, Ella is still on vacation, you can't possibly discuss work with her right now.” he said. “I just want to talk to Ella for a while. I hope you understand, Arron. It's not like I'm going to take away your girlfriend away from you.” he snapped at his brother. “But ge -”
Before Arron could continue with his protest, Ella stopped him. “Arron, it's OK. Your brother and I are jut going to talk... maybe there's something important that he have to discuss with me about one of our projects.” Ella said. Arron gave her a worried look. “But you're still on vacation, El. You can't think of work while you're on vacation...” he said. Ella just smiled at him. “It's going to be OK, Arron. Why don't you accompany Ariel and her friend inside the restaurant while I talk to your brother?” she said. Arron have no choice but to give in to her.
Then, the two of them were alone at the garden. There was a silence between them, and the more that Chun is not saying a word to her, the more that she is getting scared. “I'm sorry...” she said as she lowered her head. “I'm sorry...” Chun remained unmoved by her. “Why?” he asked her in a furious tone. “Why can't you give the two of us a chance? Why didn't you meet me that day? Why did I ever have to see you again?” he asked. Ella remained silent, not answering his questions. “Why did you have to break my heart?” he asked again. Ella shook her head. She could already feel the tears forming at the corner of her eyes. “I didn't mean to break your heart, Chun...” she whispered. “Of course, you didn't. Of course, it wasn't your fault. It's mine. It has always been my fault from the very beginning. I'm sorry too, Ella. I'm sorry that fell in love with you. I have no right to be hurt because everything is my fault, right?” he said bitterly. Ella looked up at him. “It was also my fault, Chun...” she said.
He sighed, and shook his head. “This is stupid. Both of us are taking the blame for something that should have not happened in the first place. Fine, if you want, it's all your fault. You're so stupid to fall in love with me, while me, I'm such a fool to fall for your charms. Do you know what I'm feeling right now, huh? Do you know how I felt when I saw my brother holding your hand? I'm mad, OK? I'm mad at him for taking you away from me, and I'm mad at you for letting him take you away from me! I'm jealous because I want to take his place... I want to be the one who stand beside you and hold your hand. I want to be the one whom you would smile sweetly to. But then it's all clear to me... you chose my brother over me. You still love Arron, didn't you? You still love him, that's why you broke up with me. Do you know how it pains me? Do you know how much you have been deliberately hurting me? You tell me you love me, but deep inside you're loving someone else. Did you just used me, Ella? Did you just used me because you're missing my brother all this time?” he asked. All this time, Ella was sobbing, and she was shaking her head. “No...” she said in between sobs. “If I'm in love with Arron, I should have accepted him when he proposed to me. But no, I didn't do that because -”
“Because, what? Because you still love me?”
“Yes! I still love you, Chun! I still do!”
Chun was shocked at what she said. “I still do... and I want to give us a chance again. I came that day, Chun... I did. I've been watching you as you waited for me... but I told myself that I can't be with you because of Ariel... because she's the one meant for you. My intention that day was to see you for the very last time... but as I leave, I realized how much I love you... that it's you I want to be with forever... but I was too late. When I came back, you're no longer there. You already left... and I knew that moment, you have given up on me...” she said. Chun's eyes were already filled with tears. He wanted so much to be with her, but it's too late now. He have already made his decision to marry Ariel.
He closed his eyes, and let a tear fall from his eyes. “It's too late now, Ella...” he said. “We can never be together again... she loves me, and trusts me so much. It's too late to break her heart... and I've made my promise to her already...” Chun whispered. Ella nodded her head. “I know... I understand that... you don't have to explain, Chun.” she said. He walked up to her, and held her cheeks. He gazed into her face for a long time. He may be married to Ariel, but his heart will always belong to Ella. “I'm sorry that I didn't gave us a chance. I'm sorry for being so weak. I'm sorry that I got scared... and now it's too late for the two of us. If in the next lifetime, we will meet again, I will choose to love you again. If God will give me another chance, I'll be with you forever. But I guess this is where our story ends... I have to accept our fate, that we can never be together...” she told him. He wiped the tear on her cheeks, and then he leaned down on her and kissed her on the lips for the last time. “I guess this is really goodbye for the two of us?” Chun said. Ella closed her eyes, and nodded her head. “Yes..” she whispered. She looked up at him, and forced a smile on her face. “Please tell Arron that I'm not feeling well... I have to go now. Congratulations, Chun... and best wishes.” she said. Then, she turned her back on him, and started to walk away from him. Chun could feel his heart breaking as she watched the girl she loves walk away from him, and leave him for good. “Ella...” he called again. Ella paused, not daring to look back at him. “I will love you until the next lifetime...” he said. With what he said, the tears began to cascade from her eyes again. She took a deep breath, gathering up all her courage, and walked away from him.
Unknown to the two, all this time, Arron have been watching them, and was able to hear their conversation. He felt the rage building up inside him, knowing that it was his brother who broke Ella's heart. He glared at his brother, and then clenched his left fist. He swore to himself he will hurt the guy who have hurt Ella, even if that guy is his own brother.
Chun went back to his office that afternoon. As he walked in to his office, he noticed an envelope lying on his desk. He took it, and took the letter inside it. It was Ella's resignation letter. If he wasn't in his right mind, he would have tore that letter apart, but then he have to let Ella go. He knew that as long as he sees Ella, he would only hurt her. And Ella deserve something more than what she's going through right now. They have already said goodbye to each other. And Ella's resignation means that she have decided to keep his distance from him, so that he could start a new life with Ariel.
He took a pen from his pocket, and placed it on the paper. As he closed his eyes, he signed her letter, approving her resignation.
“Mom...” Ella said on the phone. “Do you still remember your offer to me? If I want to live with you and dad there in Canada for good?” she asked. She smiled sadly as she heard her mom's answer. “Mom... I... I want to live with you there...” she said. “I want to start a new life there in Canada...”
Chun entered the mansion. As he turned around, he saw his brother standing before him. Arron looked at him with anger in his eyes. “Arron?” he asked in a confused tone. Without saying any word, Arron stepped forward. He clenched his fist, and then gave his brother a punch on his face.
Labels: fan fic, My Two Love My True Love