Chapter 12 – Falling In and Falling Out
When you feel as if you want to let go, remember why you held on for so long...
As soon as the director said cut, Yi Quan and Ah Sa stopped themselves from kissing. They were filming for their new movie, “Love at the Willows” which is being shot in Shanghai. Though the camera have stopped rolling, the two still looked at each other's eyes. Ah Sa smiled at him and then pinched his nose. Yi Quan kissed her on her forehead. It was their last shooting day in Shanghai, and as soon as they finished filming, the two and the rest of the crew would go back to Taiwan in a few days.
“Where would you like to have dinner tonight?” Yi Quan asked Ah Sa as they were waking towards their dressing room. Ah Sa embraced his arm, and put her head on his shoulder as they were walking. “I don't know... it's your turn to choose a restaurant tonight.” she said. Yi Quan pulled her closer to him. “Well then, I'll find a perfect restaurant for us.” he said. Then, they reached her dressing room. Yi Quan opened the door for her, and then gave her a kiss on the cheek. “Wo Ai Ni, Yi Quan...” Ah Sa as he turned to leave. Yi Quan paused, then turned back to her. The smile on his face have faded, and there was a worried look in his face. How many times have Ah Sa told him he loved her, but he didn't answered back? “Ah Sa...” he said in a low voice. “You don't have to answer me now, Yi Quan... I know you're just enjoying my company now... I'm willing to wait till you're ready to be with me..” she said as she forced a smile at him. Yi Quan smiled at her, and nodded his head.
That night, Yi Quan was busy dressing up for his date with Ah Sa, when suddenly his phone rang. He reached for his mobile phone, and found Kelsi's name flashing on the screen. It has been almost weeks since he last talked to her, and by know, he assumes that rumors about his fling with Ah Sa must have reached her. He stared at his phone for a long time before he answered it. He didn't know if he's ready to talk to her or not... he just want to hear her voice because it would just remind him how selfish he is.
“Hello.” he said, trying to be cheerful. “Hello Yi Quan...”
“How are you, Kelsi?”
“I'm OK. I just got off from the hospital. How's your filming?”
“It's OK. I'm having a great time here in Shanghai with -”
He paused before he could say Yi Quan's name. “I'm doing OK here.” he said. “I'm glad to here that..” she replied.
“I... I have to go Kelsi. I... We're going out for dinner...” he finally said. “Oh... OK... have fun...” he was about to end the call, when he heard him call his name. “Yi Quan... I... I miss you...” she said before she ended the call. As the call ended, he stared at his phone. He opened the picture of her on her phone, and stared at it for a long time. “Kelsi...” he whispered. He felt guilty for leaving her behind. He felt guilty, because while he is having fun with Ah Sa in Shanghai, he know Kelsi's heart is breaking back in Taiwan.
He felt that she doesn't deserve a selfish person like him. She deserves more than this charade.
She ended the call with a heavy feeling in her heart. She thought that after talking to Yi Quan, Kelsi would feel much better... but it only caused her much pain. She wiped the tears falling from her eyes. She doesn't need these now... she have to be strong for him. She just can't give up on him.
Rumors about Ah Sa and Yi Quan didn't help as well. She must admit, she's beginning to be unsure of Yi Quan's feelings for her. She understands that he needs the space and time to think things through, but the more that he spends time with Ah Sa, the more that she loses hope. “This isn't right...” she thought. “I have to trust him.. I have to trust that he loves me and that he'll choose me in the end...”
All through out the dinner, Yi Quan was silent, and Ah Sa noticed the change of his mood. A while ago, just before they had their dinner, Yi Quan was in a good mood. “Anything wrong, Quan?” she asked. Yi Quan looked up at her and forced a smile. “Oh, nothing's wrong...” he said. “Then why are you silent?”
“I'm just a little tired, I guess...”
“Would you like to go back to your room first, or would you rather rest in my room?”
Ah Sa gave him a seductive smile, but Yi Quan barely looked at her. Instead, he looked away from her. Ah Sa sighed, then she reached fr his hand. “Quan, is there something bothering you? Tell me...” she said. This time, Yi Quan looked up at her again. “It's... it's Kelsi... “ he said. Ah Sa was not too happy to hear her name. “What... what about Kelsi?” she asked. “She called me up a while ago and... and I just felt guilty for taking her granted. I felt guilty because while I'm having fun here, I know she's hurting. She doesn't deserve this...”
Ah Sa felt uneasy with how their conversation is going. She was glad when they stayed in Shanghai for almost two months, and he was away from Kelsi. At least it gave her an edge from her competition. She thought she could have Yi Quan by herself, and she never expected that they still have a communication. “If you think she doesn't deserve this, then let her go.” she said. Yi Quan looked at her, surprised at what she said. “I can't do that, Ah Sa! I... I...”
“You love her more than you love me don't you?”
Yi Quan turned away from her, not answering her question. “All this time that we're together, it was still her, right?” she asked. “I love the two of you...”
“Then you better decide soon who should stay in your life. Because, you know what, it's not only her that's you're hurting.” Then, Ah Sa stood up from her seat and walked away from him. Yi Quan was surprised at what she said. He immediately stood up from her seat and followed her.
“Ah Sa!” he called as she followed her at the hotel lobby. Ah Sa did not bother to stop or look back at him. Yi Quan decided to run after her, and as soon as he's near her, he held her hand. “Ah Sa, listen to me...”
“No, you listen to me, Yi Quan!” she shouted at him. “If you think it's only Kelsi who's hurting, then you're wrong. I say I love you, and you don't answer back... it hurts me. I can't bear the thought that every time we make love, it's her that you're thinking, and when you sleep at night, it's her name that you're calling. I have feelings too, Quan. I can't always play your game, so you have to decide. Is it me or Kelsi?”
Yi Quan shook his head. “I can't decide... not now Ah Sa...” he said in a low voice. “Then, until when are you going to play this game? If you're planning to get even with me because of what I did, then you won.” Ah Sa turned to leave, but before she could, Yi Quan hugged her. “I'm sorry, Ah Sa... I'm really sorry. Give me more time to think things through. Once we get back to Taiwan, I'll make my decision. Just don't do this to me... don't be mad at me... please... I'm sorry...” he whispered to her. Ah Sa turned to him, and hugged him tight. Then, he kissed her o her forehead.
“I just hope...” he thought. “you would respect my decision...”
Two Days Later.
“Isn't our lady doctor quite happy today...” Jian Hua said when he saw Kelsi by the nurse's station that morning. She was about to leave when she saw Jian Hua. “Good morning, Dr. Huo!” she said cheerfully Jian Hua crossed his arms, and smiled at her. “And why are you extremely happy today, Dr. Ramirez?” he asked. Kelsi just smiled at him. “Well... today is the day Yi Quan's coming back from Shanghai. I'm planning to surprise him.” she said. Jian Hua just sighed with dismay. “Really, Kels.... how can you even think of that guy? He denied you in public, cheated on you with his ex and almost broke up with you all in just 24 hours... he didn't even call you during the time he's away, why even bother with him?”
Kelsi paused and looked at him. “I'm doing this to prove to him, and to myself, that I stand a chance. That he should choose me instead of Ah Sa...” she said in a low voice. “But what if that's not the case? What if in the end, he still chose Ah Sa?” he asked again. The smiled in Kelsi's face began to fade. “Then, I have no choice but to give way to her. I haveto respect Quan's decision...” she said. Then, she held Jian Hua's hand and looked up at him, trying to force another smile. “Jian Hua, you should be encouraging me instead. Just tell me, 'Jia you, Kelsi'. Even if you're pretending, please cheer for me...” she pleaded. Jian Hua gave her a faint smile. “Jia you, Kelsi. It will be his loss if he lets you go.” he said. Then, she embraced Jian Hua. “Don't worry, you know you can always run to me if he breaks your heart...” he whispered to her ear.
As soon as he arrived from the airport, Yi Quan and Ah Sa went straight to the hotel for the press conference of their new movie At the entrance of the hotel, Yi Quan met his assistant. “Welcome back, Mr. Zuo.” Mei Ru bowed as soon as he saw him. “Thank you, Mei Ru.”
“Everyone's waiting for you inside.”
Yi Quan and Mei Ru walked behind Ah Sa towards the venue of their press conference. “Mei Ru, how's Kelsi?” he asked. “Ms. Kelsi is doing great. I believe she'll be out of her shift in a while...”
“Do me a favor... can you pick her up? I want to see her now...”
Mei Ru paused and looked up at his boss. Then, he looked at Ah S, who stopped walking as well. “But...”
“Just do as I say. Pick her up at the hospital. I have to talk to her right after the press conference.”
Mei Ru nodded his head, and headed towards the hotel's exit. What they didn't know, Ah Sa heard what Quan said. She turned around to face him. “This is not the perfect time to talk to her, Quan...” she said. “I know. I have not seen her for so long, I just have to see her. You want me to decide soon right? Let me see her and talk to her and I'll tell you my decision...” he said. Then, he walked towards the hotel's function room.
Ah Sa could already feel what's going to be Quan's decision. “It's going to be Kelsi... he's going to choose Kelsi...” she thought. She couldn't lose to her. If Yi Quan will choose her, then she'll have to think of ways so that Kelsi would be the one who'll leave Yi Quan. And she have think fast...
“Finally, I will get to see him.” Kelsi said as she and Mei Ru walk towards the hotel's function room. Mei Ru looked at her, and smiled. “You really missed him that much, don't you?” he asked. Kelsi looked up at him and smiled. “We haven't seen each other for two months, I'm just excited to see him.”
“But I have to remind you, Ah Sa's with him...”
Kelsi paused. She suddenly felt scared at that moment. Have Yi Quan finally decided? “I know what you're thinking, Angel. I don't know what's in Yi Quan's mind right now... but you just have to be ready with whatever it is..” she heard Mei Ru said. “Whatever it is... I will respect Yi Quan's decision.”
They entered the function room in the middle of the presscon. Ah Sa and Yi Quan were already answering questions regarding their new movie, and their team up. It could not be helped that the reporters would ask about the status of their relationship, and Kelsi sensed sooner or later, someone will raise this question to them. What she didn't know is that Ah Sa saw her at one corner. Ah Sa felt threatened seeing Kelsi. “I have to make my move now...” she thought. Just then, a reporter raised his hand and asked them a question. “Ah Sa, did you and Yi Quan got back together?” she heard the reporter say. She saw Yi Quan reach for his microphone to answer the reporter's question. Before he could, she grabbed the microphone on the table. “Yi Quan and I talked about what happened before while we were shooting in Shanghai.” she said. Yi Quan just looked at her. “And, yes... we got back together.” Yi Quan looked at her with disbelief. Although they have talked, he still didn't made his decision yet. “What are you saying?” he whispered to her. Ah Sa just smiled at him. “We need this for the promotion. Just trust me, Quan.” she said as she winked at him.
Meanwhile, Kelsi was shocked at what she heard. She can't believe at Ah Sa's revelation. She never thought Yi Quan has finally made his choice, and his choice is not her. Suddenly, she felt weak. She felt her knees began to wobble, and she was about to fall from where she was standing. Good thing Mei Ru was standing beside her, and helped her to balance herself. “I think it would be better if we go out for the meantime...” he said. Kelsi just looked up at him, and nodded her head. Then, Mei Ru helped her walk, and they went out of the function room.
“I felt like I'm the third party in this situation...” Kelsi began after her long silence. They were sitting in a bench in the hotel's garden that moment. “I felt I'm the one getting in the way of their relationship...”
“No, you're not.”
“Did you see how he looked at her? How he smiled at her?”
“It's all just for the promotion...”
“I wanted to believe that, Mei Ru... but my heart tells me otherwise.”
Kelsi closed her eyes, and a tear rolled down her cheek. “Obviously, he have made his decision, and I just have to respect that...” she said in a low voice. “You need a chance to talk to him. Maybe... maybe they're just saying that all for the sake of their movie. Don't give up now. You can't give up now, because you still stand a chance with him...” Mei Ru said.
“Why did you have to say that?” Yi Quan said to Ah Sa as soon as the press conference is over. Ah Sa just ignored his reaction and continued on retouching her make up. “Why? I told you we needed that for the promotion.”
“We don't need that, Ah Sa. We had enough publicity while we are in Taiwan. Why do you have to lie to those reporters regarding our relationship?”
This time, Ah Sa looked up at him and gave him a stern look. “Why, Yi Quan? Sooner or later, I'm going we'll get back together. What's wrong with a little lie?”
“Kelsi... she -”
Ah Sa's face dropped as soon as she heard her name. “So... it's Kelsi...” she said in a low voice. “You really have to be protective when it comes to her, huh?”
“I love Kelsi, Ah Sa.”
“Then, you do love her more than you do love me, right?”
Yi Quan turned his look away from her this time. “Ah Sa... you're making things more difficult for us, for Kelsi. Just let me handle everything.”
“You're not answering my question, Quan. I have to know your decision now!”
“Let me talk to Kelsi first, Ah Sa. I will tell you my decision.”
Yi Quan was walking down the hotel lobby, when he found his assistant. “Mei Ru... where is she?” he asked. Mei Ru walked towards him. “She said she can't talk to you for now. A lot of things have already happened, and like you, she need to think things through...” Mei Ru said. Yi Quan let out a bitter laugh. “She heard everything Ah Sa said during the presscon, right?”
“Definitely. You asked her to come, she would obviously hear what she would say...”
“Is she... how did she take it?”
“She was surprised, of course. But most of all, she was... hurt...”
The two men looked at each other. “I know I have no right to intrude into your life, Mr. Zuo. After all I am just your assistant. But, Kelsi have been a friend to me. I know the past few months have been hard for her. She took all the rumors about you and Ms. Ah Sa, and awaited for your return hoping she will be given a chance to prove that she's worthy of your love. But you just proved her wrong...” Mei Ru said. Yi Quan can feel the disappointment in his voice. “I know I'm being unfair to her...” Yi Quan began. “But... what can I do? If only I could love the two of them at the same time...”
Mei Ru put his hand on his shoulder. “You just have to think, what it is that you've wanted all this time? What's that one thing that you've been looking for? What's the one thing you know you could never live without?” he said. Then, he smiled at him. “Then think, between Ah Sa and Kelsi... who's the one you think of being with when you're happy? Who's the one whom you think of when you're sad? If that person you think of in your happiness and sadness is just one and the same, then chose her. But, if it's different, chose the one you think of in your loneliness.”
As Mei Ru left, Yi Quan closed his eyes. He reflected on what he said. He thought of that one person whom he wants to be with him in his loneliness... and then he saw her face. He smiled. He knew all along it will be her, it has always been her. Then, he opened his eyes, finally deciding... it will be her....
Labels: fan fic, Star