Saturday, March 13, 2010

Paper Stars - Chapter Ten

Chapter 10 – Moving On


It was afternoon, and Paolo stood by the veranda, gazing at the sight of the sea before him. It's been a week since he have been staying at the Crimson Skies Resort. He heeded what Nadine told him about not forcing himself to remember anything from his past. Although he is not thinking of the events that left him with no memories, something is still occupying his thoughts.

“Paolo...”

A smile on his lips was formed upon hearing that familiar voice. As he turned around, he saw Nadine walking up to him. “What are you doing here? Don't tell me you're forcing yourself to remember anything again...” she said. He simply shook his head. “No... Whatever I do, my mind is still blank. I don't think I can retrieve my memories anytime sooner.” he said. “But you seem to be in your deep thoughts. What's wrong?” she asked worriedly. “Nadine... can I ask you a question?” he said. Nadine gave him a confused look as he nodded his head. “Why... why is this place called Crimson Skies?” he asked.

Upon hearing his question, Nadine smiled at him. She looked at her watch, saw that it was almost night time. She gazed up at the horizon as she walked beside him. “Look before you, Pao Pao...” she said. Paolo looked back. The sun was setting down. The sky looked as if it was splashed with orange, red, pink and yellow colors. Those colors turn to reflect on the blue sea. Red skies surrounds the sun, as it slowly sets down. The skies slowly turns into a darker shade as the sun goes down. It was as if the sea was slowly hiding the sun, to make way for the night. “This is the most beautiful spot in this place at this time. And the sunset is always the most beautiful when seen at this place...” she said. Then, she looked up at him, and smiled. “Do you agree?” she asked. Paolo was mesmerized by the sight of the sunset before him. Seeing it, he know understand why Nadine thinks this is the most beautiful place on earth.

“Sunset... I love sunset. I love seeing the sun goes down, and then everything would turn dark. I like how the skies slowly turns into night... and the fact that another long day have passed...” she said to him.

--

Xue walked into her room, and then sat on her bed gently. It's been a week since Jiang Wei's funeral, and until now, she couldn't believe that the man she loves was taken away just like that. “Jiang Wei...” she whispered. As she closed her eyes, a tear fell down her cheek. Just when she have learned to depend on him, just when she have learned to live her life with him, he suddenly leaved her. She have waited for him for a long time, and now that she had him, he would disappear into her life like that. She doesn't know how to start living without him. She doesn't know exactly what to do to move on. She would be able to accept it if Jiang Wei left her for another girl, because she knew that it means he is still alive, but the mere thought of losing him forever could only break her heart.

She hugged herself as she lay herself down to her bed. It will be another night that she will cry herself to sleep. She will cry once again for her loss. She will cry again because of the man who left her alone in the world.

--

Ah Ren took an old photo of him and Jiang Wei from his table. It was a childhood photo of them together, during one of their soccer games. From the picture, Jiang Wei had his arm around him, while he was raising up the trophy he was holding. He remembered that moment, for it was the time that they won the soccer game, and he became the MVP. He have known Jiang Wei for so long. They belong to the same neighborhood, and they went to the same school from kinder till college. He was an only child, and he always regards Jiang Wei as the brother that destiny forgot to give him.

They were inseparable as kids, and when he told Jiang Wei that he had to go to the States to further his studies, he could still remember the anger in his face. “Why are you leaving me? You said you will stay beside me! Ah Ren... I need you. I need you to support me...” he remember Jiang Wei saying. It was a big blow for him, that he knows. He was just starting out in showbiz back then, his father does not approve of his decision, and he can only rely on Ah Ren for support. It was a tough decision for him as well, but then if he does not take up that once in a lifetime chance to study in the most prestigious business school in the US under a scholarship, he knew that he would regret it forever. He remember how mad Jiang Wei is at him for leaving him behind, that he did not talk to him for days. On the day of his departure, Jiang Wei came and send him off. “Just promise me you'll come back soon... and that you'll always keep in touch...” he remembered Jiang Wei said to him with a smile on his face.

Now, it was Jiang Wei's turn to leave. He wished that he was just leaving for another country. But the fact remains that he left for good. He left his family and friends behind, and that he will not be able to see him again. A tear fell from his eyes as he thought of that. “Jiang Wei... you're so unfair... how could you leave us this way?” he thought. He hugged the picture frame he is holding, and for the first time in years, he began to break down.

For him, losing Jiang Wei means losing his own brother. It also means losing half of his life, and half of his own being.

--

“Then, as the sun sets down, the night time comes. It will be dark. There are times that there won't be a moon or a single star... there would be a time that you wouldn't be able to see a thing... you will be lost or be scared because of the dark... but no matter how long the night is, just like the day, it will come to an end.”

--

Pei Pei sat at the corner of her bed. She looked at the man sleeping peacefully beside him. She curled herself up, and clutched on the silk sheet that's covering her naked body. Sometimes, she wonders how this man could sleep peacefully despite the fact that he planned his brother's death. Her own conscience won't even let her sleep at night because of what she did. Every night, she had nightmares about Jiang Wei, and in her bad dreams, she could see how mad Jiang Wei is at her for killing him.

She shivered under the sheets. She bit her lips as she closed her eyes. The memory of that night came into her mind again, vividly as ever. She could still hear the loud gunshot, and his pleading for her to stop her fooling game. Then, she covered her ears with her palms. She could clearly hear him shout for help. She doesn't want to listen to it. “Please... stop...” she thought. She began to cry silently as she remembered everything. “No... stop this... please...” she said softly.

Her trembling body woke up Chen Yi, who was sleeping naked beside her. “Pei Pei?” he called as he slowly opened his eyes. “Please... stop it... please...” he heard him say. He sat up from the bed, and then hugged her. He held her in her arms, as if protecting him from harm. “Sssshhhh... it's gonna be all right...” he whispered to her. It's known to him that Pei Pei is feeling guilty for killing his brother. And he took advantage of that guilt to have the woman he loved for so long. He used the fact that she killed her, and then promised her to protect her secret by being with him in return. But seeing Pei Pei in this state, he wanted to regret plotting a crime against his brother. It was wrong, that he knows. He shouldn't have been that selfish. But then, no amount of regret can bring his own brother back to life, or even make Pei Pei feel all right just like before.

--

“Congratulations, Yu Chen Yi. You are now the new Senior Vice President of Yu Enterprises.”

Chen Yi let out a smile at the directors before him. “Thank you for putting your trust in me. I assure you, even though I am not the first born, I will do my best for this company's success.” he said. “It's such a pity that your brother died too soon. I know that if the two of you work together, we will be the most successful company in the whole world.” one of the directors said. Chen Yi let out a smile at him.

The meeting adjourned, and Chen Yi was left alone inside the conference room. He stood from his seat, and then looked outside the window. This is all he wanted, to have all the power from the company he worked for. One can say Yu Chen Yi is a lucky man, right after his brother died. He was named the new secior vice president, he is now considered the first born of the Yu family, and he is now engaged to Zhang Shao Pei, the woman he loved for so long. But despite it all, he knew inside his heart that he does not deserve all of these. He cheated just to achieve all of his goals, and he cheated badly by plotting to kill his own brother.

“I deserve this. I deserve all of these...” he said to himself. He worked hard for this company, while Jiang Wei enjoyed being in the showbiz spotlight. He was the one who helped his father save their company during the time of its crisis. He should be the one rewarded, and not Jiang Wei, who's only role is to be the first born.

Finally, after all his sufferrings, he got the reward he deserve the most.

--

“In life, there will be a time of darkness. A time when nothing seems so right, or nothing seems too clear. It's a time in your life when everything seems to be confusing, and that everything that's happening to you is hopeless. But we need that kind of darkness once in a while, because it is only the dark that we can see the light. It's like seeing the sun shining again for the first time after a long, cold night...”

--

“I'm leaving for London, Ah Ren...” Xue told Ah Ren a month later. They were at their favorite restaurant that time, and Xue have asked him to meet her. Ah Ren was shocked at what he heard from her. “London? You're leaving again, Xue?” he asked. Xue smiled, and nodded her head. “Its not the first time that I'm leaving. Before, I left Taiwan with a hope that upon my return, Jiang Wei will finally notice me, that he will love me. I got that, Ah Ren... I was the happiest girl when that happened. But Jiang Wei left me. He left me alone in this world, with no one to turn to. Ah Ren... you know that I am a very dependent girl. I've depended on you, and then I depended on Jiang Wei. When Jiang Wei died, I felt so lost. I felt like a broken person, and the only thing left to do is pick up the pieces of me...” she said.

Ah Ren looked away from Xue as she made her speech. “Ah Ren... I'm leaving Taiwan, but this time, I will not be hoping for anyone to love me because I've changed. I know I am not the shy and nerdy girl that I used to be. I am Jiang Wei's fiancee. I was supposed to be his wife. If only... if only he didn't die... I am leaving Taiwan because I have to pick up the pieces and learn to live a life without him. I am leaving everything behind to move on. So that one day, if God will allow me to love again, I can give my everything to him, so that he will not live in Jiang Wei's shadow. I am leaving Taiwan to forget him. Because as long as I am here, I will be trapped in his memories forever.” she continued. She reached for her hand, and held it. This time, Ah Ren looked at her. “You do understand me, right?” she asked. He let out a faint smile, and nodded his head. “I understand, Xue...” he said. “i know wherever he is, he would want me to do this. I felt like I died with him, and it's not healthy, you know. I have a full life ahead of me. There's this whole world before me that's ready for me to explore. I need this. I need this to find myself.” she said. “I know, Xue. But you can't blame me for being sad. I lost my best friend, and here you are, telling me that you're leaving to. At least with you leaving, there is a possibility for you to come back, right?” he said. Xue smiled, and nodded her head. “I will come back. As soon as I've healed myself.” she said.

Ah Ren let out a smile, and then with his both hand, he held Xue's hand. “I wish you luck on your journey, Xue. If you feel lonely out there, you know where to call me. If you need to be saved, I promise I'll be on that first plane going to London.” he said. Xue shook her head. “It's about time that I learn to save myself Ah Ren. I can't always depend on anyone, especially you...” she said.

--

“As the night ends, the sun will come out again. It will be a new day, and a new beginning. Another story will happen before the night ends. It will be another chance to make things right, another day for another adventure, another opportunity to do what you have to do. As a new day begins, another memory will be made, and it's up to you if you will make a good one, a bad one, something that you want to regret and forget, or something that you want to remember... then, as the sun sets again, the cycle goes on. Night time will come for you to rest your tired body and mind, and another morning will come for you to make another history in your life. And that cycle will go on and on for the rest of your life...”

--

A Year Later...

“Wait! Wait! Stop!”

Nadine looked down, and then she saw Paolo jumping over a white sheet that's being blown away by the wind. As he fell on the ground, she couldn't help but laugh at what he did. Paolo heard her laughing, and as he looked up at her, he gave her an embarrassed smile and scratched his head. “Good thing you caught that blanket. If it got dirty, you will have to wash it again.” she said. Paolo let out a sigh, and shook his head. “You're so bossy.” he said. With that, Nadine let out another laugh. Paolo stood up, and then put the sheet on his basket. He went inside the house, and then saw Nadine as she walks down the stairs. “You should at least compensate me with food.” he complained to her as he handed her the basket filled with laundry. “Food? Don't I always compensate you with food? Don't tell me you're hungry again!” she said. Paolo smiled, and nodded his head. “But you just ate an hour ago!” Nadine said. “I'm a growing boy!” Paolo said, smiling at her.

Nadine couldn't help but smile and feel amused by him. He always acts like a kid. His playful personality have always amused him. Unlike the other guys she knows, Paolo have this innocence that made her feel at ease at him. He is so childish, that sometimes she things of herself as his mother, and him as his own son. “If you help me clean the guest rooms later, I'll consider making you your favorite cake.” she said. Upon saying that, Paolo's face lightened up. “I'm on it, ma'am!” he said. He rushed upstairs, and Nadine could only laugh at his reaction. “He'll really do anything for food...” she thought.

She was about to head to the reception area, when Manang Helen, their cook, approached her. “Ma'am Nadine...” she called. She looked back at her, and saw that she is in pain while holding her back. “Manang Helen, what's wrong?” she asked. She helped the elder woman to take her sit. “I slipped on the floor, Ma'am Nadine.” she said. Nadine gave her a worried look. “What?” she asked. She sat on the chair in front of her, and let out a sigh of dismay. “We'll be having a lot of guests today, manang....” she said. “I know that, Ma'am Nadine. I can still cook. I have Kara to help me out. The problem is, I won't be able to go to the market to buy all the things I need... so... if it's OK with you, let me rest for a while, and I'll cook the guests' lunch in a while. If only you can help me buy the things I need...” she said.

Nadine smiled, and nodded her head. “Take the day off, manang Helen. Tell Kara to do the cooking for a while. I'll go and buy the things we need for the day. By the way, where's Manong Lito?” she asked. “I sent Lito for an errand a while ago, and he won't be back soon. If you want someone to go with you, why don't you bring Paolo with you?” Manang Helen suggested. Nadine gave her a surprised look. “But... I just asked him to clean the rooms...” Nadine protested. “Let Kara do that. She will have enough time to clean the guest rooms before you and Paolo could come back from the market. You don't want our guests to starve, right?” Manang Helen said. Nadine let out a sigh, and then stood up from her seat. “Fair enough... Give me the list of things to buy...” she said. Manang Helen reached for her pocket, and then gave a piece of paper to her.

“Paolo!” she shouted. In an instant, Paolo came rushing down the stairs. “Yes, Nadine Xiao jie?” he asked. “Stop cleaning the rooms for a while. Go with me to the market.” she said. With that, Paolo's face lightened up. “Yes, ma'am!” she said. Nadine got out of the house, and as Paolo walked down the stairs, he smiled at Manang Helen. The elder woman just winked at him. “You owe me one, Paolo.” she said. He nodded his head. “I'll bring you your favorite pastry from the market later, manang Helen. Thank you for giving me this chance.” he said. “You better hurry up, or Nadine will suspect that we planned this.” she said. Paolo let out a laugh as he nodded his head. Then, he ran outside the house to meet up with Nadine. “Hay, that boy sure is in love with Nadine... I wonder why he can't tell her how he feels...” Manang Helen heard a familiar voice said. She looked beside her, and saw her husband, Lito. “It just so happens that Paolo is shy. Let's just help him be more closer to Nadine so that he could confess his love for her.” she said. Mang Lito nodded his head in agreement. “I wish he would soon. It's about time that Nadine gets a love life, rather than running the whole resort by herself.” he said.

--

Taipei, Taiwan.

At the corner of her room, she curled herself up, as if hiding from someone. There were nothing but silence and darkness all around her. But even in this silence, there were voices in her head that were shouting at her. They were laughing at her. Even in this darkness, she could vividly see the voices as they mock her. “Murderer...” the voices hissed at her. “You killed Jiang Wei...”
“I thought you love him? Why did you kill him?”
“Are you happy now? Jiang Wei was never Xue's man, but he will never be yours...”
“Murderer...”
“Killer...”
“You are a bad woman Zhang Shao Pei. A bad woman...”

She bit her lips as she buried her face. “Stop it, please... stop it!” she cried. She brushed her long, cruly hair, and then pulled it from. “Stop it!” she shouted. “Jiang Wei is never yours. And because of what you've done, you'll be forever be Chen Yi's slave.” the voice told her no. She shook her head violently as she cries. “No.. no...” she whispered. “You can never get out of this mess, Zhang Shao Pei. Even if you die, you can never get out from Chen Yi's clutch. He owns you now... and as long as he owns you, the truth will not come out. But what if he gets tired of you? You are doomed, Zhang Shao Pei... you are doomed!” the voice kept telling her. She shook her head once again. “No... no...” she cried. “The truth will come out soon, Zhang Shao Pei... they will all know that you killed Yu Jiang Wei. They will all find out that it was not an accident... that you planned his death with his brother... this is what you get for being selfish... you deserve to die!”

She could not take the voices in her head. Reached up to the nearest table, and then threw away all the things on it on the floor. “No!” she shouted. Shattered glasses were all over the floor. Like those glasses, her life is shattered since the day she killed Jiang Wei. Chen Yi may have covered her up with the promise of being his girl in return, but her own conscience keeps on blaming her for everything. “No...” she said as she stared at the broken glasses. “Then, die... you have to die to atone for your sins. You have to pay for your crime with your own life. Die, Shao Pei... die...” the voice told her.

She wiped the tears from her face, and then took the big shard of glass on her hand. “Die... I should die... I can only get out of this mess if I die...” she said to herself. Then, she let out a smile. “Yes, I should die. I should... I really should... if I die, I will no longer be Chen Yi's... and I can be with Jiang Wei... yes... I should die...” she said. She let out a loud laugh at her idea. Then, She lifted up her wrist. She put the sharp glass on her skin, and then began to cut herself. She saw the red, silky liquid flowing out for her vein, but she couldn't feel anything. She put the glass on her wrist, and then made another long cut on her wrist. She did that over and over until her whole arm is filling with blood. She couldn't feel any pain with all the cut she made on her arm.

She let out a weak laugh as she put her hand down. She leaned on the wall, her vision slowly blurring and her body slowly feeling weak. “Goodbye...” she whispered for the last time. Then, she closed her eyes to slumber to eternity...

--

“Mr. Yu...”
“Mo Li, I told you not to disturb me while on a meeting.”
“Mr. Yu, there is an emergency. The administrator from the condominium unit that Ms. Zhang is staying called...”

Chen Yi paused, as he looked at the phone on his table. Then, he turned to the man before him. “Shall we continue this another time?” he asked. The man nodded his head, and then went out of his office. Chen Yi took the handset, and talked to his secretary. “Zhou xiao jie, this must be a real emergency. I will not forgive you for interrupting me.” he said firmly. “I understand, Mr. Yu, but the administrator called... they found Zhang xiao jie dead on her condo unit this morning...”

He felt as if someone splashed cold water on his back upon hearing what Mo Li said. “They saw her lying in her own pool of blood, and then they saw the cuts on her arm. Before that, they were hearing Ms. Zhang crying and shouting at someone...” his secretary said. He fell silent after hearing what his secretary said. “M-mo Li... cancel all my appointments for today.” he said. He put the phone down, and then grabbed his coat. He rushed out to see Pei Pei. He needed to see her for one last time.

Labels: original story, Paper Stars