Chapter 25 – If I Give My Heart
If I give you my heart
Please don't tear it apart
'Cause this heart is for you
And if I say what I feel
And you know that it's real
All I am is for you
But if I give you my heart
If I give you my heart,
Please be good to me...
Ella leaned by the table, and looked closely at Chun. She stared at him for a long time, until Chun finally looked up at him. He smiled at her, and he felt himself blush. “Don't look at me like that. I'm going to melt.” he said. Ella just laughed at him. He put down his pen, and then held her hand. He let out a sigh, and then, smiled at her. “Are you hungry?” he asked. “Finish what you have to do. I can wait.” she said. Chun shook his head. “This work can wait. I want to spend more time with you.” he said. Ella smiled, and looked away from him to hide her crimson cheeks. Then, she looked at him. Realizing what she's got into made the smile on her face disappear.
She felt guilty.
She knew she shouldn't be having an affair with Chun Yan-Wu. It's wrong, she knew that. He is engaged to Ariel, and she knew that she's betraying her. Chun looked up at him, and saw the sudden change in her expression. “Anything wrong, baobei?” he asked. Ella could only let out a faint smile. “Chun... how about Ariel?” she asked. Chun's smile faded upon hearing Ariel's name. “Let... let's not think about it first, baobei. What matters is that we're together...” he said. “But I feel guilty...” she said in a low voice. Chun leaned on his table, then he reached for her cheek and gently caressed it. “Ella... if there is someone that should feel guilty the most, it should be me. I'm hurting her, and at the same time I'm hurting you. I feel like a selfish bastard...” he said. Ella reached for his face, and brushed his hair with her fingers. Then, she smiled at him. “Chun... we can't control how we really feel, don't we?” she asked. Chun smiled at her, and nodded his head. “Well, I really cant help but fall in love with the great Ella Chen. Whatever it is that I've done in the past that made me meet you, I'm sure glad that I did it, or I would never feel this happy.” he said.
Ella bit her lips, trying her best not to laugh at him. She remembered the very first time that they met, and it was making her want to laugh out loud. “What's wrong?” he asked, wrinkling his forehead. “Oh, I just remembered how we met, Mr. Wu... “ she said. “Yeah. I could still remember. I don't know if you got scared of me or what that you froze in your seat when I joined you guys for dinner. You were so weird that time, you irritated me.” he said as he rolled his eyes. “Silly! It's not that! Aren't you even wondering why I keep on calling you perv?” she asked. Chun only gave her a confused look. “Why?” he asked. Ella looked at him, giving him a playful smile, and then held his both hands. “Because on the very first day that we met, you were to drunk that you thought I'm Ariel. You kissed me.” she said. Chun could not believe what she said. His eyes widened upon hearing what she said. “Did I?” he asked. Ella smiled and nodded her head. She saw him turn beet red upon realizing the truth. “Oh, so that's why...” he said. He looked up at her and gave her a playful smile, which made Ella confused. “What do you mean?” she asked. “That's why it felt so familiar when you kissed me while you were so drunk.” he said. Ella remembered that incident, and gave him a surprised look. “I... I kissed you?” she asked. He nodded his head. Before she could further react, Chun leaned over her, and kissed her on the lips. “We're even now. I kissed you, you kissed me. End of story.” he said in a husky tone. Ella giggled, and then reached to him, and planted a kiss on his lips. “Fine, perv. We're even now.” she said. Chun laughed at her, then he gave her another long kiss on the lips.
Chun opened the door of his office, and he immediately eyes on Ella's desk. He found his girl busily typing on his computer. For the nth time that day, he kept on coming out of his office just to have a glimpse of his lady love. He is missing her, and he couldn't control himself anymore. It was like a torture for him – she was so near and yet far from him reach. He looked at his watch, and saw that it's only 1 PM. He still have four hours to wait for her. (Anyway, the two agreed that they shouldn't be too lovey-dovey during office hours so that no one will suspect about their relationship. Ella have not told anyone yet about them.) Chun closed the door behind him, and leaned on it. He then took a sigh of frustration. “This is harder than I thought...” he said to himself. He just wanted to hold Ella in his arms and kiss her cherry lips. Isn't that too much to ask.
He went back to his desk and try to work again. On his table, he noticed a report which Ella gave her a few days ago. Then, an idea hit his head. He stood up, and opened the door of his face. He wore that serious look on his face as a facade. Then, he eyed on Ella again. He cleared his throat, then called her. “Ms. Ella...” he said. Ella looked up at him. “Please see me in my office.” he said. Then, he have gone inside. Ella had that confused look in her face. “What does that perv wants this time?” she asked herself. “Well, that's new. Seems that Chun ge's not mad at you anymore.” she heard Wallace tease. She looked at him, and saw him winking at her. “I guess he just want to annoy me again.” she said as she stood up from her seat.
She knocked on his door, and when she heard Chun telling her to come in, she went inside his office. “Mr. Wu, you want to see me?” she asked. She saw Chun busily reading some documents. “Please have a seat, Ms. Ella.” he said. Ella sat on the chair in front of him, and waited for him. Then, Chun put the documents down, and looked at her. “About your report, Ms. Ella...” he said as he looked at her. He put her report on the table. As Ella put her hand on it, Chun, immediately grabbed her hand and held it tight. Ella gave him a confused look, while Chun was giving her puppy eyes. “I miss you...” he said in his sweetest but childish tone. Ella couldn't help but laugh at him. “Wei! You're so lame, Chun.” she said. Chun just laughed at her. “Wei... if only you would harrass me here at work, I shouldn't have accepted to be your girlfriend.” she said as she rolled her eyes at him. “Well, if you did not agree to be my girlfriend, then I have not choice but to -”
“No. I have no choice but to pest you until you agree to be my girlfriend.”
Ella smiled at him, and squeezed his hand. “And I thought you will fire me...” she said. “How can I fire you? If I fire you, I won't be able to see a glimpse of you everyday. If I fire you, you might make your new boss fall in love with you the way that I fell for you. I don't want that to happen.” Chun said. “That won't happen, Chun. You'll be the first and last boss I'll fall in love with.” she said. Chun smiled warmly at her. Then, he kissed the back of her hand. He looked up at her again. “I love you.” he said to her. Ella laughed at him, then she pinched his nose. “I love you too.” she said. “Do you have to laugh every time you say you love me?” Chun said as he wrinkled his forehead. Ella laughed again, and shook her head. “It's just that I feel giddy whenever you tell me that... I feel butterflies in my stomach...” she said. Chun smiled at her, then he kissed her hand again. And our heroine feels giddy once again.
“I think I should go back to work, Mr. Wu. If you keep on smiling at me like that, I'm going to melt here.” she said. Chun nodded his head. “I think you should because as long as you are here, I won't be able to work and I'll just keep on staring at you the whole day.” he said. Ella stood up from her seat, and then headed to the door. Then, Chun called her again. “Ella...” Ella looked back at him. “I was wondering... do you have any plans this weekend?” he asked. Ella shook her head. Chun smiled to himself again. “Well... I was thinking if we can go out this weekend?” he asked. “Where?” Ella asked. “I don't know... maybe we can go out of town, or to the beach, or to some fancy amusement park... somewhere we can be alone...” he said. Ella smirked at him, and raised an eyebrow at him. “Somewhere where you can have me by yourself.” she asked. Chun could feel himself blush. “Well... yeah... some sort of like that...” he said shyly. Ella let out another smirk at him. “I knew you can be such a perv, Mr. Wu.” she said. Then, she winked at him before heading out of his office.
Calvin stood before Ella's room. He knocked first, and when there was no reply from her, he opened the door. He saw Ella packing some clothes in her overnight bag. “Where are you going?” he asked. Ella paused, and looked at him, giving him a warm smile. “Oh, I'm going out of town...” she said. “Are you going alone?” he asked. Ella shook her head. “You're with someone? Is this someone we know?” he asked again. “I just want to unwind... to relax...”
“But are you going alone?”
“I have some company.”
“Do I know who this company is?”
Ella looked away from him, and continued packing. “I guess you know who he is.” she said. At that, Calvin finally got a clue who Ella will be going with. “Chun Yan-Wu?” he asked. Ella looked at him again, and nodded her head. “Yes, it's him.” Calvin let out a playful smile at her. “So... does this mean that you and Chun are together now?” he asked. Ella nodded her head. She heard her best friend let out a sigh. “Ella... do you know what you got yourself into?” he asked. Ella looked at him, and stared into his eyes. “Calvin, I love Chun.”
“But do you realize that Chun is engaged to married to Ariel Lin?”
“I know that.”
“And do you also realize that you're only hurting yourself because of this?”
“I also know that.”
“What are you, stupid?”
Ella shook her head. She could see the worry look in her best friend's face. She knows Calvin is only worrying about her. “I am stupid, Calvin. I am stupid because I followed what my heart says instead of what my mind dictates. I am stupid, I know that... but I will be even more stupid if I don't get this chance to be with Chun. All I want is to have more memories with him... if... if Ariel comes back and they decide to get married right away, I'll keep my distance to Chun. I'll keep my distance to the Wu family. I promise you that...” she said. “I don't think it would be that easy, Ella. Love is rather a complicated thing. You may tell yourself that you can live with what you have now, but at the back of our minds, we would want the moment to last forever. I'm just worried that Chun would eventually hurt you. Maybe he's just caught up with the moment because his fiancee is not around, and you're here with him. Maybe you're just missing Arron so much that your being close to Chun might mean a different thing to you.” Calvin said. Ella shook her head. “Calvin... I've never felt this way before. Not even with Arron. I know I'm more happy when I'm with him. I always look forward to waking up each day because I know I would get to see him again. I am more satisfied just being by his side. No, I don't just miss Arron that's why I'm feeling this way towards Chun. I love him... and that I know.” she said.
Calvin could only smile at his friend. He have never seen her this poetic. “She must be really in love with Chun...” he thought. As her best friend, the only thing to do is support Ella, and always be there for her. He knows that things are rather complicated for her, and he have to be there for her. “I guess even if I pep talk you know, nothing could really change your mind. You're always like that, Ella. Once you're decided, there's not turning back for you. If he makes you happy, then I'll be happy for you as well... at least there's someone who's keeping that smile in your face. Don't worry, I'll always be here for you, Ella... I'll support you...” he said. Ella smiled at him, then she walked up to him and gave him a hug. “Thank you, Calvin... thank you...” she whispered. “Anything for mushroom face.” he said. Then, he let her go, and looked at her. “But I can't promise you I won't hurt that guy if he broke your heart.” Calvin said. “If I end up broken hearted, it's my fault Calvin. It's because I'm not as smart as you are...” she said.
They ended up in Chun's lake villa at the south.
It was almost night time, and Ella was at the balcony, watching the sunset. “Baobei...” she heard Chun said. She looked back at him, and saw him walking up to her. “Hey...” she said. Then, Chun hugged her, and gave her a kiss on the cheek. “Are you getting bored here?” he asked. Ella smiled, and shook her head. “How can I get bored? Since I met you, life has never been boring.” she said. Chun let out a smirk at her. “So, you're saying I am more exciting than my brother?” he asked. “For someone who I was with when I got stuck at the storage room, for someone who ended up in my bed, for someone who took me to Sanrio Puroland and let me see Arashi in the flesh, then I can say yes.”
Chun hugged Ella tight, and leaned towards her. Together, they watched the sun as it sets down. “I love watching the sunset here...” Chun said. “The view is really pretty. I love the sun's reflection at the lake...” Ella said. Chun nodded his head in agreement. “That's the reason why I bought this villa. The view is perfect. The surrounding is very relaxing. This is really a perfect place to start a family... imagine kids running around the lawn or jumping at the lake for a swim. Then, when I come home from work... I would feel even more relaxed because my wife would greet me happily. I would always look forward coming home, eating the dinner she prepared, tucking in our kids together, then sleeping beside her by night.” he said. He looked at Ella lovingly. He have already imagined his future life with Ella. He have already imagined his life with Ella in his villa once they get married.
But sadly, it's only an imagination.
He still have to accept the truth that he is engaged to be married to Ariel. He is arranged to be married to her since kids. He forced himself to love Ariel, because it is the right thing to do. Ella could already feel the pain in her heart at what Chun said. She wanted to imagine that she is the woman Chun was talking about, but she knows she isn't. Chun still have Ariel, and even though they are together now, they will not have the happy ending she have always imagined. “Ariel is a lucky girl to be your wife...” she said in a low voice. Chun flinch at what she said. “Are... are you regretting loving me, Ella?” he asked while his voice cracked. Ella shook her head. “Loving you is my favorite mistake...” she said.
Ella turned to face him. She reached up to his cheek, and gently caressed it. “I will never forget and regret every moment that we are together, Chun. I want to collect our memories together, and embed it inside my heart. I know what we have know is wrong, and I know this thing is madness... but I just couldn't help but love you more each day.” she said softly. Chun leaned over her, and cupped her cheek with his palm. “I'm sorry for being selfish, Ella... I'm sorry that I have to put you through this situation. I want to be with you for the rest of my life but...” Ella bit her lips. She was trying her best not to cry in front of him. “I know, Chun... I know... Ariel loves you so much. Your families have betrothed you to her. I can't change a thing about that, Chun. I'm sorry if I ruined your life plans...” she said. Chun smiled at her, and shook his head. He, too, was trying his best not to show the tears in his eyes. “You are the only unplanned thing in my life that I love the most. I don't regret falling in love with you, Ella...” he said. He planted a kiss on her lips, and then Ella hugged him tight. “I'm scared of what will happen next, Chun... I am...” she said. Chun hugged her tight, and kissed her on her forehead as if assuring her everything will be fine, even if their love is still unsure. “You don't have to be scared, Ella. I'll always be here for you...” he whispered to her. Ella let go of him, and gazed at him. “Chun... promise me... until the day Ariel comes back to your life... we'll make happy memories together. Promise me you'll give me that moment... that time... for the two of us. If... if she comes back then I'll let you go. I'll give you up to the woman who truly deserves you... but for now, I want you all by myself.” she said.
Chun could almost hear his heart breaking into a million pieces. Not only was he breaking Ella's heart, he was breaking his own. He doesn't know what he would do if Ariel comes back and Ella finally leaves her. He wants Ella to stay in his life, but she deserves something much better than being someone's kept woman. “Ella...” he said softly. “I know where I stand in your life. I'm more than contented knowing that once in my life, I was loved by Chun Yan-Wu. I'm not asking anything more from you but beautiful memories while we're together. I'm not asking you to chose me over her. I just want to be with you in this stolen chance... it's too much if I ask for something more than you can give me...” she said. Chun felt a tear falling down his cheek. Then, he shook his head. “No, Ella. You are a wonderful girl, and you deserve something better than this. You deserve someone who can love you without any hesitation... I'm sorry that I can't be strong enough for the two of us. I'm sorry...” he said. Then, Ella hugged him again. She doesn't want to let any second pass without letting him know what she truly feels for him.
For one day, she will never have the chance to let him know how much she loves him.
Labels: fan fic, My Two Love My True Love