Chapter 10 – The unseen tears
“I know he loved me dearly, and I feel the same way for him...”
“I understand why he did the things he did a while ago...”
“I believe everything he say, especially when he says that he loves me...”
“But why do I feel that something's going wrong?”
“Why do I feel that I'm starting to lose him?”
“I've told myself that I'll be contented with what we have now... That I would accept it if he would be gone in my life... but I'm not yet ready for this... I'm not yet ready to lose him....”
“Am I being selfish? Am I asking too much? Is this too much?”
“Was it wrong for me to love him with all my life?”
Tears began to fall from her eyes. She have had enough heartbreak for a day. She doesn't need the feeling of losing Yi Quan. She doesn't need this strong gut feel. She doesn't want the feeling she's feeling right now. Most of all, she doesn't need this paranoia.
She need to see him, she need him to assure her that everything's going to be all right, and tell her that she's thinking too much...
But he's not around to comfort her.
He put his arm around her and comforted her. He pulled him to his chest, as she let her cry onto his shoulder. Mei Ru could only watch as she cries. He was here merely as a substitute for Yi Quan, and as her friend. She doesn't need another heartache,she understand. He decided not to tell Yi Quan's whereabouts.
If only Yi Quan would decide sooner who he will he choose...
He sat across the woman who broke his heart. He looked into her eyes, she was smiling at the people around them. He felt the familiar pain when he saw her in bed with his best friend. But what startled him more, was he felt a confusion in his heart.
He was silent during dinner, an only speaks up when being asked. He was not comfortable with the fact that he is facing Ah Sa. He was not yet ready to see her, not now. Though he have moved on, the pain in his heart still remained. “Yi Quan, why don't you drive Ah Sa home?” Dennis said to him. Yi Quan looked up at him, and gave a sly smile. “I don't think that would be appropriate.” he said. Then, he glared at Ah Sa. “We broke up a long time ago...” he continued. Dennis and Ah Ken could feel the tension growing between Ah Sa and Yi Quan. “Well... It would be much better if the you two would talk about what happened. It would be for the best since the two of you would be working together, right?” Dennis said. Ah Ken walked towards Yi Quan and leaned over him. “Do what he says or else...” he hissed at him. Yi Quan glared at him, He then looked at Ah Sa, then back at Ah Ken. “All right...” he said, giving in to them. “I'll take her home.”
Yi Quan stopped the car in front of Ah Sa's house. During the drive, there was an awkward silence between them. “Here we are...” he said coldly to her. Ah Sa gave Yi Quan a smile, trying to break the ice between them. “Would you like to come in?” she asked. Yi Quan looked away from her. “To tell you the truth, Ah Sa, Im not ready to see you after everything that happened between us... I'm not ready to see Nan as well...” he replied. Ah Sa looked at Yi Quan, her smiled slowly faded from her face. “Yi Quan... you still have not forgiven me, haven't you?” she said in a low voice. “You still have not forgiven me and Nan...”
“I have forgiven you, but I have not forgotten how you broke my heart.”
Ah Sa leaned closer to Yi Quan, and pull his face to hers. “Yi Quan...” He glared at her. “You can't do this, Ah Sa... you can't break someone's heart, leave and come back as if nothing happened. I can't pretend nothing happened, because you know what, it took me along time to forget about you. It took a lot of effort for me to move on.” Tears began to fall from Ah Sa's eyes. She have anticipated this, his wrath, but shes willing to endure everything as long as she could have him back. “Yi Quan... I came back for you. I realized that I still love you... Please take me back... please choose me again...” she begged him. He took her hands away from him, and turned away from her. “I'm sorry, I can't choose you anymore...” he said. “Is there someone else?” she asked. Yi Quan didn't answer her, but instead let out a sigh. “It's that fan girl, right?” she asked again. This time, Yi Quan looked at her and stared into her eyes. “It's none of your business anymore, Ah Sa. Whoever it is that I chose to love... it's none of your business...”
Ah Sa is still determined to have him back. Desperate, she pulled Yi Quan and kissed him passionately. After a while, Yi Quan pulled away from her. 'Leave me, Ah Sa...” he said in a low voice. “I cant love you... not anymore...” Ah Sa shook her head as she speak. “I won't give up on you, Yi Quan. I know, deep in your heart, you still love me.” she said. With that, Ah Sa left Yi Quan in his car. What she didn't know is that when she left, she also left a big confusion in his heart...
“Mr. Zuo, about Ms. Kelsi -”
“Please, Mei Ru... leave me alone for the mean time...”
“But Mr. Zuo, Ms. Kelsi is waiting for you at the hospital...”
Yi Quan looked up at him with a worried look in his face. “Mei Ru, please do me a favor... please pick her up at the hospital and send her home...” he said. Mei Ru nodded his head and headed out of the door. As soon as Mei Ru left, he stood up from the couch and headed to his mini bar. He poured himself a glass of wine, and drunk it all up. He felt guilty for denying Kelsi, for standing her up, and most of all, for being confused about he feels for her. He was not ready to see Ah Sa. He was not ready to feel what he felt the moment he saw her. The truth is, he could not deny that he was still attracted to her, and the love he thought that have died the day she cheated on her, resurfaced once again.
The truth is, he wanted Ah Sa back. He could've taken her back at that moment, but he thought about Kelsi. He loved her as well, and he could feel her love for him is unconditional. She was willing to be on the sidelines so that he could continue being a superstar. She risked being denied by him, because she loves him so much, and he felt he was being a jerk. Ya Se's right, maybe he was just using her as a rebound. “This isn't right...” he thought.
He poured himself another glass of wine, and drank it again. As soon as he finished it, he poured the wine into his glass again. He is still in love with Ah Sa. Despite everything, she's still the one she wants. He just couldn't understand why... maybe it's because of the fact that only Ah Sa could satisfy his needs as a man... something that Kelsi could not give to her.
He heard the door slowly opened. He turned around and saw Ah Sa enter his pad. “What are you doing here?” he asked in a calm tone. “I won't give up on you, Yi Quan...” she said as she walked towards her. As she walked, she slowly took off the coat she was wearing, revealing the her skin in a sexy little black dress. “You shouldn't be here, Ah Sa...” he said, turning away from her. She put her arm around him, and pulled his face towards her. “Give me a chance to love you again, Yi Quan.... please...” she begged again. Yi Quan looked in a different direction, because he know if she looked into her eyes, he would be more confused, or worse, he might give in to her. Ah Sa moved closer to him, and before he knew it, her lips have touched his, kissing him as passionate as ever. Being the man he is, all his defenses were down, and he finally gave in to her that night...
“No, you are not being selfish... it was him that's being selfish...”
“No, it's not wrong for you to love him, because I know he loved you as much as you do...”
“He is blind if he won't realize that he deserves you more than anything else... I've seen how you sacrificed for him...”
He paused. He wanted to tell her everything. He wanted to tell her she's back... but he can't bear to see her heart breaking. “You... you just have to fight for him... if you do love him, you have to fight for what you feel...”
At that moment, he knew, it will be the start of her heartbreak. He just wish he could see the unseen tears in her eye... so that he would make his choice soon... and he hoped he will make the right choice this time...
Labels: fan fic, Star