Saturday, September 18, 2010

Say That You love Me - Chapter 9

Changes


Since that day you kissed me,
I know a lot of things have changed
I knew I loved you more than ever
And I know how wrong these feelings are
And so I had to go on
To move on...
To leave your side silently

--

Chun walked Tiffany home that night after their date. As they reached her door, Tiffany turned to him and smiled. “Thank you for a wonderful night, Chun.” she said. He let out a boyish smile at her. “Thank you for a memorable night, Tiffany.” he said

The evening breeze gently blew to them. They stood still, gazing into each other's night. It was a special night for the two of them, something that they will never forget for the rest of their lives. He walked up to her closely. A gentle smile escaped from his lips as stared into her innocent face. As his face moves closer to her, he felt as if all the air he have sucked up inside have faded. She was breathtakingly beautiful. And her mere presence beside him had this effect on him.

The moment he longed for would come sooner, he knows. As she closed her eyes, he inched into her face once more. He could feel his heart beating fast, and his hands trembling as he held her by her sides. As he closed her eyes, their lips touched. It was their first kiss. With each seconds that their lips touched, he felt as if his world was spinning around. There were fireworks. He could swear he could hear the angels singing around them. He just loved the feeling of being this close to the girl he loves.

As he pulled away from her, he smiled shyly at her. There was silence between them, and they could understand each other with the mere smiles on their faces. “Uhmmm... I have to go inside now, Chun.” Tiffany said. Chun nodded his head. “Good night.” he said. “Good night...” she said sweetly. As she turned to open the door, Chun called her once more. She turned around, and saw him looking at her with love. “I love you, Tiffany.” he said. She let out a sweet smile, and replied. “I love you too, Chun.”

--

Ella heard a loud knock on the door. She turned down the volume of the TV, and stood up to open it. As she opened the door, she was surprised to see Chun smiling happily at her. “C-chun?” she stammered. “Ella!” he exclaimed happily. He grabbed her, and locked her small body into his arms. He hugged her tightly, so tight, that she could feel his heart beating furiously. “C-chun! I can't breath! What happened?” she asked. This time, Chun let her go.

He held her by her shoulders, and looked into her face. “It was the best date I had in my entire life!” he said. Ella sighed as she rolled her eyes. “Oh, please Chun... that's like your first date. You'll have another one of those great dates with Tiffany in the future...” she said. “But this one is the best. It went exactly as planned, and I know that she enjoyed it... and you know what made it more perfect?” Chun said. Ella gave him a puzzled look as she shook her head. “We kissed! I kissed her!” Chun said.

She felt as if someone drained all of her energy upon hearing what he said. Chun was way more excited with his first kiss with Tiffany, than that kiss they shared that afternoon. Maybe it meant nothing for him. After all, it was just kissing lessons for him, but for her, it will be something that she will treasure forever. She never regret that she gave her first kiss to her best friend, and the boy that she will always love.

She faked a smile to hide her sadness. “That's... good. At least the lessons paid off.” she said. She let out a nervous laugh. Seeing smile at her once more made her ever more nervous. “Thank you, Ella. I'm happy now because of all the things you've done for me. If it wasn't for you, I won't be able to meet the girl of my dreams, have her, date her, kiss her...” he said. Ella let out another nervous laugh. “Aiyo, stop it! I only did what a good best friend would do anyways. I...” She took a deep breath as she tried to smile. “I'm happy for you. Seeing this way, I'm contented. At least there's someone who loves you in the same way that you love them...”

He smiled. He took her hand, and pulled her into another hug. “For everything that you have done and will do for me in the future, Ella... thank you. I wish I could give you the same happiness that I am feeling right now...” he whispered to her. She was fighting the urge to let the tear roll down her cheek. “Then love me, Chun... love me... choose me... say that you feel the same way for me... because it's hurting me so much to see that I'm losing you... that giving you your own happiness is breaking my heart...” she thought.

She pulled away from him, afraid that he would finally see through her. She faked another smile as she pushed her away. “Now stop being too mushy, and go home.” she said. “But... but... I still want to talk to you!” Chun protested. “We'll talk tomorrow. We both need a shut eye!” she said. She yawned and stretched out her hand. “All this TV marathon makes me sleepy. I'll see you tomorrow, all right?” she said. Chun sighed, and nodded his head. “Fine, tomorrow. Good night, Ella.” he said. He walked up to her, and gave her a kiss on the cheek.

That left her into a daze. She touched the part of her cheek that he kissed as she watched him leave. “Why does unloving you seems so hard, Chun? Why is it that when I found the reason to stop wanting you, you give me a reason to love you even more?” she thought.

“Mei...”

She looked back, and she saw her sister walking up to her. “Jie... it's nothing. Just a friendly kiss.” she said defensively. Joe let out a sigh as she shook her head. “But it's still a kiss, Ella. I don't want to see you kissing your best friend because I know it's hurting you more. And look... he have a girlfriend that he obviously love. You have to stop this, mei...” Joe said in a worried tone. Ella closed the door, and walked past her sister. “This will pass, jie. One day, I will start seeing him again as Chun... that little boy with drools when he sleeps.” she said with a laugh.

Joe looked sadly at her little sister. “You're only hurting yourself, Ella...” she said. Ella stopped, and looked at her sister. “I know...” she said. “You deserve someone better... someone who can love you more. And sadly, Chun is not the one that could love you. Chun only sees you as a friend. Do you think it's about time that you give other people a chance to love you as well?” she said. Ella just stared at her sister, pondering at what she just said.

--

It was Monday afternoon, and the class have ended.

Ella gathered all her things, and then turned to Tiffany. “Hey, Tiff... I think we should start with the research today. We can go to the library...” Ella said. Tiffany looked at her with a surprised look on her face. “Oh my God! I totally forgot about it!” she said. “It's OK... good thing I reminded you about it.” she said. Tiffany sighed, and shook her head. “Ella, can we schedule it at another time? Chun and I are going to the mall today... we already planned to meet up after school.” she said.

Any trace of emotion on Ella's face have disappeared upon hearing what she said. “But... we need to start on our research...” she said. “I know that, Ella... sorry I forgot, but I can't ditch my boyfriend. You understand, don't you?” she said. She looked at her, and she was giving her a sweet smile. She wanted to protest. She wanted to tell her that nothing is more important than making sure they'll pass Chinese History together. But there's nothing she can do, for it's Chun's happiness that's at stake.

“Fine.” she said in a stern voice. Tiffany's face lightened up, not hearing the hint of anger in Ella's tone. “I'll do the research today. I'll give you the topics that I'll be having a hard time with.” she said. “Don't worry, Ella! I'm sure Chun will help us out.” Tiffany said. “i don't want to be that dependent on him.” she muttered under her breath. Just then, she felt Tiffany hugging her. “Thanks, Ella! I promise to make up to you! You're a really good friend.” Tiffany said.

Before she went to the library, she walked Tiffany by the school gate. As soon as she saw Chun, she waved goodbye to her, and ran to him. Chun didn't even bother to wave hi to her. He was so caught up upon seeing Tiffany. She watched as he kissed her on the lips. She watched as he put his arms around her. She watched as he leaves her.

From now on, a lot of things will change, especially between them. She knew that the promise of forever he made to her is finally broken. He doesn't need her now, she thought. He already have Tiffany. He's happy with her. Someone else have came first in his life now. She is not his priority anymore. She is just a second best for him. He doesn't see her the way he did before, because he only have his eyes on Tiffany, and it hurts her the most. Her best friend is slowly taking her for granted, and she's scared that one day, she will lose him, and that he will be nothing but a stranger for her.

It was almost dusk when she finished. When she got out of the school gate, she found Lego standing, waiting for her. “Lego...” she said in a soft voice. He took a deep breath, and walked up to her. “I waited for you.” he said. Then, he let out a faint laugh. “I told myself I won't care about you anymore. But I can't bring myself not to. You're too special for me... I feel that it's my job now to look after you.” he said. There was an awkward silence between them. Then, he turned his back on her. “Come on, I'll walk you home, Ella.” he said.

Ella followed behind him. The whole time, Lego was not speaking to her. She could understand that he's still mad because she rejected him. But she have to be true to herself. She loves Chun, and she can't be with him. As they walked home, her thoughts were filled up with a lot of thoughts. Maybe, if Chun knew how she felt, he would do the same thing as she did – and that is to reject her love. She knew how she have hurt Lego, and she knew that she would feel the same way if Chun did the same thing.

“You're only hurting yourself, Ella...”

When she secretly loved Chun, she right from the start that it would hurt her. But she never thought that it would hurt her more, especially when Tiffany came into their lives. She wasn't ready for all the pain and heartaches that's associated with her unrequited love.

“Chun only sees you as a friend”

At least before, he sees her. Now, it's as if he was too blinded by Tiffany. She had long accepted the fact that they could never be together. That they will only be friends – best friends. But after that kiss, it changed everything. She wanted to be selfish. She wanted him by herself. But she couldn't do that... she loves Chun too much that hurting him would cost her heart.

“ it's about time that you give other people a chance to love you as well”

Her thoughts were interrupted when she realized that she was already in front of her house. “We're here.” Lego said. He turned to her and smiled. “You're home safe and sound, princess.” he said. She looked into his eyes, and she saw the familiar pain reflecting before her. She felt guilty. She wished she could do something to take it all away. “I'll get going now, dork. Hope to see you tomorrow.” he said.

She didn't utter a word as he walked past her. Then, she remembered something that her sister said. “You deserve someone better...” She looked at Lego as he walked away. He love her, she know that. He could give her all the love she ever wanted, and all she have to do is give him a chance. Maybe one day, she will learn to love him with all his heart.

“Hey...” she called. He looked back. She smiled as she walked up to him. As she stood in front of him, she lowered her head. “I'm sorry... for the last time...” she said in a soft voice. “I understand... you don't have to apologize...” he answered. “I know what you're feeling, because I'm feeling it too. And I know, it's unfair of me to reject you...”
“Chun will always be the one in your heart, and I understand. All I can do is be a friend to you...”

She looked up at him. And just like before, there was a spark of hope in his eyes. “I don't want to love him anymore...” she said softly. A tear fell from her eye as she speaks. “It... it has been hurting me constantly... and I don't want to feel this pain anymore.” she said. He cupped her cheek with his palm, and wiped the tears from her eyes. “Can I take away your pain? Can I try to make you unlove him?” he asked with a hopeful tone. She closed her eyes, and nodded her head. “Yes...” she said.

“I'm giving you the chance, Lego.”

He felt a tear fall down from his cheek. He smiled as he held her face. “You won't regret a thing, Ella...” Lego said. “I'll do my best so that you could forget your feelings for him. I'll always make you smile, the way that he does. I can be his replacement, his substitute... just be with me. I promise that...” he said. Ella held on to his hand, and smiled. “You don't have to do all those things, Lego. Just stay with me... I know one day I will learn to love you.” she said. Lego nodded his head. “Then I'm willing to wait for that day, Ella.” he said. He leaned down on her, and gave her a soft kiss on the lips. Then, he stared into her face.

Just then, someone tapped his shoulder. He looked back, and saw Chun looking furiously at him. The next thing he knew, Chun punched him in the face.




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Labels: fan fic, Say That You Love Me