I ask myself that question a thousand times...
Why do I love you?
Why do I have to choose you?
Why does it have to be my best friend?
Why is it that every time I look at your face
I could only want you more?
Why can't I be her
And be the one that you love?
Chun got out of his house, and found Lego and Ella together. He knew that the two are talking, all right, but there was something in the way Lego held Ella's face. He walked closer to take a look at them.
“Then I'm willing to wait for that day, Ella.” Chun heard Lego said. Confusion clouded his mind as he walked closer. Lego's next actions made him more surprised. He leaned down and gave his best friend a kiss on the lips. He could feel his blood rushing up to his head. He clenched his fist at a sudden feeling of rage upon seeing that scene. Why is he kissing his best friend? Why is Ella letting him kiss her? Is there something going on behind his back?
He felt his eyes dimmed as he tapped his shoulder. Lego looked back, and without any warning, Chun threw a strong punch into his face. "Chun!" Ella shouted at him. She got down on her knees to help Lego up. He came back into his sense, and was surprised at Ella's reaction. She glared up at him as they stood up. "Why?!" she shouted angrily at him. "Why did you have to hit him, Chun? Lego have done nothing to you!" she said.
He have never seen her this mad before. He only hit him because he was doing something unnecessary to her, and he was just protecting her. "Ella, he kissed you!" he defended himself. "I let him kiss me, all right!" she shouted. That made him even more surprised. "Ella! Why? you can't let him kiss you, he's not even your -"
Then he paused. He stared at the two for a long time. Ella was looking worriedly at Lego. "Something is going on behind my back..." he thought. The anger was replaced by sadness upon seeing how close the two are. "Oh..." he muttered under his breath. She was avoiding Chun's questioning gaze. "I don't know what's happening anymore... I have been gone for a while, and then the two of you suddenly got close. I want to be mad, Ella... because I felt like you're replacing me with Lego... and then now... why did he kissed you? Are you two together now?" he asked.
Ella took a deep breath, and bravely faced him. "Yes. Lego is now my boyfriend." she said. Chun paled upon hearing her confirmation. "This... this have all been to sudden... why? I thought... Lego... he liked another..." Chun said. Lego sighed as he looked at his friend. "I just realized that I like Ella. I asked her out. She said yes. I asked her to be my girl, and she agreed." he said nonchalantly.
He glared at Lego. He knew he liked another girl, someone whom he knows that he could never have. He felt as if Lego is just using Ella as a rebound girl. He attacked Lego, and held him by his collar. "Do you think I will allow you to be with Ella, Lego? No way. Ella deserves someone much better, all right?" he said. Ella came to Lego's rescue, and tired to push him away from Lego, whch she did successfully. "Stop interfering with my life, Chun." Ella said. Chun looked at her, and she simply glared at him again. "This is my life. I'll date whoever it is I want to date. And I like Lego a lot. Just let me be happy, all right?" she said.
Chun was taken aback by what his best friend said. “You don't want me to interfere with your life anymore? What's going on, Ella? Are you really that mad at me?” he asked. “I am not mad at you! It's just that... you and me... we both have our different lives now... do you think it's about time that I stop depending on you? You can never be beside me forever, Chun.” she said. He looked at her furiously. “Do you really think that way? Ella, I promised you...”
“It was just a childish promise, OK? That's the truth. One day, the two of us will have to go our separate ways... it's just starting now.”
“That's the truth. We'll outgrown each other, Chun. You will have your own life, I will have my own. We need the space to grow...”
Chun looked at Lego, and then back at Ella. “I'm still your best friend, Ella. I don't know why you're acting this way. I just hope that you realize that your actions are hurting me.” he said in a hurt tone. Then, he turned his back and walked away from the two. Ella could only watch as Chun walks away from her. She regret what she have said. It was a wrong move to push her best friend away so that she could forget her love for him. She made a step forward to follow him, but she stopped herself before she could.
She felt Lego's hand hold hers. She looked at him, and there was an understanding in his face. “I won't stop you if you want to run after him, Ella... after all... he is still your best friend...” he said. She shook her head as she let out a faint smile. “This is my start...” she said. “I... I have to stay away from him so that I could unlove him, Lego... and... and you're here...”
Chun sat at the edge of his head, with a hurt expression on his face. Ella's words a while ago is still ringing in his ears. Why does he feel that his best friend is leaving him? Why does he feel that she doesn't need him anymore? He knew that since he and Tiffany got closer, Ella and Lego got closer as well. Seeing them together before, he couldn't deny the feeling of being threatened. But now that they are together, he felt even more jealous.
He clenched his fist, he curled up as he leaned his head on his knees. His heart is in pain because of what happened. Just when he found happiness with his dream girl, a mess like this would happen between him and Ella. He was so scared to lose her. He was so scared that he will be forgotten by the girl he was with all his life. “Ella...” he whispered. “We promised... you promised to be always be by my side... why do I feel like you're slipping away from me slowly? Why do I feel like you don't care for me anymore? Do you know how much I need you in my life? I feel like I can't breathe anymore...”
She stared at the picture frame by her bedside. She took it, and stared at his smiling face. “I'm sorry...” she thought. She bit her lips as she let a tear fall down on his picture. “Chun... do you know how much it pains me seeing you each day, as if I don't matter anymore? You have Tiffany know, and I'm left with no one. Before, I was just happy standing beside you and loving you silently, praying that one day you'll see me in a different light... but now...”
Ella closed her eyes as another tear rolled down her cheek. “I've lost you. I've lost you to her... and though I'm beside you, I feel like the distance between us is getting farther. I maybe near you, but I couldn't even let you know how much I do love you... it's hurting me, and I'm getting tired of all this pain. I'm sorry... I'm sorry for staying away from you. I'm sorry that I have to be with Lego... this is for the best, that I know. I can't stay friends with you if my heart keeps on loving you. I can never be the same Ella, your best friend, as long as this feelings stay... I'm sorry... I'm sorry...”
He put his hand on his pocket and let out a sigh. He kicked the can in front of him as he waled. This is supposed to be the happiest day of his life. Ella Chen, the girl he have loved since his first year in high school, have finally given him a chance to love her. He swore to himself that he will do everything to make her forget Chun, but it turns out to be difficult as he thought it to be. There was jealousy in Chun's eyes when he glared at him. There was longing in Ella's eyes as she watched him walk away. And though Ella stayed with him, he felt bad. Everything seems wrong.
Lego stopped walking and let out another sigh. “Ella... you've given me the chance... but why do I feel that you can't open up your heart for me? I wish that you'll look at me in the same way that you look at him. I wish you'll cry for me in the same way you cry for him. I wish I could just be Chun so that you could love me too... why does it have to be him, Ella? He is your best friend, yet he never knew how you really feel? He swore to protect you, yet he left your side the moment Tiffany walked into his life. I've been with you, silently looking after you, trying my best to make you smile, but still...”
He let out another groan. He looked down and saw a pebble by his foot. With all his might, he kicked the pebble away from him. He knew he should be ready for this moment when he asked Ella to be his girl, but he never thought that it would hurt more. And the only thing to do is endure the pain he is feeling.
He strummed on his guitar, playing on that one song again. He hummed along with it, and then suddenly, her innocent face came into his mind. He let out a smile, and just shook her head. Calvin Chen never believed in love at first sight before, but since that day at the chapel, he wants to believe it now. “Will I see you again?” he thought. He reached for his pocket, and took a white handkerchief with her name on it. She left it when she ran away from him at the chapel. When he saw her the following week, he was so shy to approach her and return the hanky to her. He laughed at himself. His friends did laugh at him before.
Being the star singer of the glee club and the main guitarist of their band, Calvin never had problems with girls. He was never shy around girls, actually, except for this high school girl who seem to have stolen his heart the moment their eyes met. “I definitely have to see you again, Ella... I have to...” he said to himself.
School have once again ended the next day.
As usual, Ella tailed Tiffany from behind. From the school gate, she could see Chun waiting for her. “Bye Ella! See you tomorrow!” Tiffany said as she waved goodbye. She just smiled faintly and nodded her head. She watched as she ran up to the gate. The moment the two met, she gave Chun a kiss on the lips. Chun smiled happily at him. She didn't want to see that scene anymore. She doesn't want to feel hurt anymore whenever she sees him together. She looked away from them, and decided to wait for Lego.
Chun looked inside the school gate, just In time when Ella looked away from him. He felt a flinch in his heart, seeing her best friend is still mad at him. “Ella...” he thought. He doesn't care anymore who's fault it is, or what have triggered them to be this estranged. He just wished that things can go back to the way they were – before he saw Lego kissing her, before he hit him, before Ella said those hurtful words, before he walked away from her. “Hon, let's go?” he heard Tiffany said. He looked down at her, and smiled. “OK.” he said.
As he put his arm around her, Lego came. The two just stared at each other for a long time. “He's here for Ella...” he thought. Lego sighed, and put his hands on his pocket. Chun looked at him for a long time. They have been friends for a long time, and it would be a stupid mistake to throw away their friendship just because he found out that he and Ella are together now. “She's inside...” Chun said. Lego gave him a puzzled look. Chun let out a sad smile at him. He felt a lump in his throat as he was about to speak again. “Take care of her, Lego. She's... she's too precious for me. If... if you hurt her, I could never forgive you.” he said. Tiffany smiled at Chun, and then looked at Lego. “I'm sure he would take care of Ella. She's in good hands, Chun. Don't worry too much about your best friend.” she said. Chun just nodded his head.
As Chun and Tiffany turned to leave, Lego began to speak. “I will take care of her, Chun.” he said. Chun paused for a while, and listened to him. “I will... love her... more than anything else in this world. I will.” he said. He looked back, and smiled again. “I know you will.” Chun said. As Lego watched them leave, he could feel the pain in his heart once again.
After they left, Ella came out of the school gate. She gave him a smile, and kissed him on the cheek. “I want ice cream.” she said. Lego smiled at her. “You have always loved ice cream.” he said. Then, she looked at Chun's direction. Her smile became a sad one as she stared at his back. She could feel the tears starting to form at the corner of her eyes once more. As Lego held her hand, he looked at her. “Ella...” he thought. “I wish you can only look at me...”
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Labels: fan fic, Say That You Love Me