Sunday, August 8, 2010

Say That You Love Me - Chapter 8

A Fool's Kiss


You know I'd do anything for you
You know, I'd a make a fool of myself just for you
Loving you had made me feel like I'm the most stupid girl in this world
Because even if there is someone right here
Willing to love me unconditionally...
I still choose to love you...
And it's killing me inside.

--

“Ella! Ella!”

Ella looked back, and saw Chun running up to her. He had this happy smile on his face, and that smile is her proof that we she had plan had succeeded. “Hey, Chun.” she greeted with a smile on her face. As he got near her, he pulled her into a hug. “Thank you...” he said to her. “Thank you for making this the happiest day in my life. Thank you for your help. Thank you because if it wasn't for you, I will not be able to meet Tiffany. And if it wasn't for you...” He let go of her, and smiled at her. “If you didn't ask me to come to the park and threatened me, if you didn't send Tiffany this afternoon, then maybe... I would have lost my chance with her. Thank you, because of you, I had the courage to tell her that I like her. Thank you because you are the reason why we're together now.” he said.

She was expecting that from him, but his confirmation could only break her heart even more. Now, she truly lost the fight. She lost the only boy she loves all her life. She regrets what she have done, but she knows that if she didn't do those things, it would break her heart even more to see Chun sad. She forced a smile on her face. “Congratulations. You deserve it.” she said. He held her hand, ans squeezed it. “I don't know what I'd do without you. You're my lucky charm, do you know that?” he said. Ella slowly nodded her head. “I... I know...” she said. Then, he pulled her into another hug. “Thank you, Ella. You're the best best friend anyone could ever have. I love you so much!” he said.

She wanted to pretend that those five words he said is true, and that he loves her more than a friend. But she knew those words only meant that he loves her as is best friend, and nothing more. She bit her lips, and closed her eyes, trying to stop the tears that were swelling from her eyes. She wanted to stay this way with him. She wanted to keep him in her arms, and never to let him go, but then he was never hers to keep in the first place. For him, she will only be a best friend – the one whom he turns to when he needed help, when he needed companion. Nothing hurts more than the fact that she is just a best friend.

She pulled herself away from Chun, and he could only give her a puzzled look. “I'm so happy for you...” she said, letting out a faint smile. He looked closely at her, and noticed the frail expression on her face. “Are you all right? Why do you look sad?” he asked. She nodded her head. “I am. I... I just don't feel well today. I'm sorry... I'm sorry if you think I'm not happy for you. You know that I am...” she said. He smiled, and shook his head. “No, it's not like that. I thought maybe you feel sick... and I'm right. You better get inside the house and take a rest. I'll see you later.” he said. She nodded her head at him.

Without saying goodbye, she turned her back on him. The smiled abruptly disappeared as she ran inside the house. As she reached up her room, she closed the door behind her. The tears she was trying to hold a while ago suddenly fell endlessly from her eyes. She clutched onto her chest as she felt her heart being torn into a million pieces. “Why?” she asked herself. “Why do I have to break my own heart? Why is it that I have to be in love with my own best friend?” She slid down to the floor, and curled up as she cried her heart out. She have to accept the fact that Chun will never be hers, and that she will have to share him with someone else.

--

Lego sat on the grassy field, his eyes were wandering around. It has been days since he confessed to Ella, and somehow, he still have not gotten over it.

[Flashback]
“Will you give me that chance, Ella? Will you give me the chance to love you?” he asked. His eyes were full of hope as he gazed on her face. He could see the surprised in her eyes. Not only was she surprised, he felt that she was hesitant to answer him. “I...” she muttered. She lowered her head, and slowly shake her head.

That instant, Lego knew what her answer is. He felt his world shattered before him. The bouquet of flowers fell on the ground. He felt weak upon seeing her answer. He wasn't ready for this. He thought that spending as much time as he could with her would make her instantly accept her, but he was wrong. “I'm sorry...” Ella said, looking up at him. “It would be unfair for you, Lego. I can't be with you while I'm loving -”
“Chun.”
She bit her lips, and slowly nodded her head.
[End f Flashback]

He clenched his fist as he remembered that day. It took him a lot of courage to tell her how he feels for her, only to be rejected. He wanted to hate Chun for making Ella fall for him. He wanted to hate him for not seeing her, for neglecting her, and for hurting her. He know fully understand how she feels now. He knew it was hard for Ella, because she can't tell Chun that he loves her, and instead, she helped him get the girl he really loves. “i wish I am Chun... I wish you could love me too...” he thought.

Lego had always known that Ella is in love with Chun. There's no denying whenever her eyes sparkles whenever he's around. She would get out of her way just to be with Chun, even if it means making a fool out of herself. And that's what made him fall for her – her silent efforts to be with Chun made him think that any guy she would love would be lucky to have her, and he wanted to be that lucky guy. When Tiffany came into Chun's life, he started to neglect her. He could see the hurt in her eyes whenever she sees them together. He made a lot of effort to make her smile, to divert her attention. They were always together, and he thought it was the right time to let her know how he feels. But in the end, Ella have hurt her.

“Lego...”

He looked back, and he saw Chun walking up to him. The other boy sat beside him, and he chose to ignore him. “Everyone's worried about you. Why are you so quiet lately?” he asked. He let out a faint smile, and shook his head. “I'm tired of being the class clown.” he said. Chun just laughed at what he said. “I noticed you've been quiet since the day after you said you'll be confessing to the girl you like. You never even told me what happened... want to talk about it.” Chun asked. Lego smiled bitterly as he toyed a grass with his finger. “She rejected me.” he said. Chun suddenly felt sad for his friend. “Oh...” he said. “He is the only girl I've ever liked. I was a fool to believe I would have my chance with her... but... but she can't accept me...” Lego continued. Then, he looked at Chun. “She's in love with someone else.” he said.

“So, this girl have a boyfriend?” Chun asked. Lego shook his head. “She's in love with someone who can't love her back. And worst, the guy she's in love with is her closest friend. That guy is in love with one of her friends... she said... it would be unfair for me if she give me a chance while she's still in love with him. I have no other choice but to let her go.” Lego said. “You're giving up on her?” Chun asked. Lego just shrugged his shoulder. “Part of me wants to give her up, but whenever I see her, I wanted to prove to her that she deserves to be loved as well. I want to be there for her when she's hurt. When she's sad, I want to be the one that will make her smile. But... she chose to reject my love for her...” he said. He let out a chuckle as he smile. “She doesn't seem stronger than she looks to be. She... she's weak. And I want to protect her.” he said.

Chun smiled at him, and put his arms around him. “It seems that you really love this girl. Lego, don't give up on her. Who knows one day, she'll realize that she can only be truly be happy with you. She's one lucky girl to be loved by a clown like you.” he said. Lego laughed, and shook his head. “I don't know... maybe one day I'll try to ask her again. As of now, let me be broken hearted. Not everyone is like you, who gets to be like by a girl that he likes too.” he said. Chun nodded his head. “Some people have luck.” he said. Lego nodded his head. “Yeah...” he said. He let out a playful smirk at him. “You're one hell of a lucky bastard.”

--

Saturday.

Chun walked back and forth by the swing as he waited for Ella to come. His heart was thumping with each second that passes by. “Chun!” he heard her call. He looked back, and smiled at him. “Sorry, I'm late.” she said. “It's OK. I'm glad you're here.” he said. “What kind of help do you need?” she asked him. “Tiffany and I are going out on a date today.”
“And...”
“I need help.”
“With what?”
“With everything.”

Ella couldn't help but laugh at his best friend. “Look, I'm in some way as inexperienced as you are when it comes to going out on a date.” she said. Chun nodded his head in agreement. “That's why I need your help.” he said. She could only give him a puzzled look. “You need help with clothes? Restaurant? Flowers?” she asked. Chun shook his head. “Got all of those things figured out.” he said. She folded her arms, and raised an eyebrow at him. He let out a boyish smile as he scratched his head. “So, what kind of help do you need?” she asked. “You know what they do at a date, right?” Chun said shyly. “Eat out, watch a movie, stroll at the park...” She paused, and looked skeptically at him. “kiss?”

Chun took a deep breath, and nodded his head. “I don't know how. To kiss, I mean.” he said. With that, Ella burst out laughing, much to his annoyance. “Wei!” he said in an annoyed tone. “You don't know how to kiss?” she asked again. She could see her best friend's face turn crimson red because of embarrassment. “Don't you watch porn or something? I swear I saw a stack of CDs on your room the other day.” she teased. “Ella!”
“Fine, fine... what is it about it?”
“I don't know how to kiss a girl properly, and I'm scared that if I kiss Tiff, she would think I'm a lousy kisser. And she might break up with me.”
“A kiss isn't just everything in a date, Chun.”
“But it's something memorable. She is my first girlfriend. Tonight is our first date. We'll have our first kiss. And I want this moment to be memorable for the two of us.”
“So what do you want me to do, teach you how to kiss?”
“Yes.”

Ella was shocked at his answer. She felt her heart racing against her chest. “You're going to steal my first kiss for some lesson?” she shouted at him. “Ella, please don't be mad.” Chun said. “How can I not be mad?! This is insane, Chun!” she said. “Ella, look... don't you think it's a perfect idea. At least I get to be your first kiss, and you're mine as well. You won't have to worry about being sloppily kissed by Joe Cheng.” he teased. This made Ella even more mad. “Chun! I hate you now!” she said.

She turned her back on him, and went back to her house. Chun followed him. “Ella... Ella I'm sorry. OK, I won't ask again... but think of it. We both wanted our first kiss to be memorable.” he defended. “Yeah, yeah... you will get my first kiss because you want to know what it's like to kiss. Thanks, Chun!” she said sarcastically. Chun let out a sigh. As they reached her door, he held her hand, and she turned to face him. “Maybe I want to kiss you first. Maybe I've always wanted to kiss you. Ella, you're my best friend. I'm the guy who's always comes in first in your life. And this kiss... this first kiss... it's something special... and it's something I want to give to my best friend. Because you... you will always be special to me. Do you understand now?” he said.

She looked into his eyes, and he could see the sincerity in his eyes. “Why... why me?” she asked. “Because you are the very first girl in my life.” he said with a smile. She looked away from him, hesitating whether she'll agree with what he wants, or not. She knew in her heart that this is all that she have ever wanted, but she also knew that if she kissed him, it will break her heart even more. But then, she have to take his risk. And if there's one person she would want to give her first kiss, it would be the man she loves – the man standing before her, her best friend.

“OK. Just this once, Chun.” she said. “Thank you for trusting me.” he said. He moved closer to her. His hands cupped her cheeks as his faced inched closer to hers. She closed her eyes, and waited for that one second to happen. Then, she felt his lips against her. She felt his warm and soft lips kissing her. It was the most beautiful feeling she have ever felt, the most magical moment she had in her entire life. She felt like at this very moment, Chun was hers, and only hers, and that he loves her in the same way that she loves him. If this is a dream, she wanted to stay this way forever.

“Chun! Ella! What the hell are you two doing?!”

The two broke their kiss. By the door, they saw Joe glaring at the two. Chun was shocked at what had happened. He looked at Joe, then, back at Ella. “I... I have to go...” he said. “Chun?! Come back here, you bastard!” Joe shouted. She was about to follow him, but her sister stopped her. “Jie... stop it!” she said. Joe glared at her sister. “What's happening, mei? Why is he kissing you? I thought he have a girlfriend already?!” she said. Ella bit her lips, as she lowered her head. “I wanted this... I... wanted this as well... if there's someone to blame, it's me...” she said in a low voice.

Joe looked closely at her sister, and she could see the tears in her eyes. She felt her own heart breaking for her only sister. “Mei...” she said softly. “Are you... are you in love with your best friend?” she asked. Ella looked up at her. The tears began to fall from her eyes as she nodded her head. “Yes. I am...” she said. “And this is the only way I know I could tell him that I love him... because I know he could never love me back...” she said. Joe held her sisters hand, and hugged her. She wished there's something she could do to take away all her pain right now, but for now, all she could do is let her cry on her shoulder.

--

“You're only hurting yourself... do you know that? Chun only sees you as a friend. Maybe it's about time that you give other people a chance to love you. You deserve to be loved as well...”

--

“Hey...”

He looked back. She smiled as she walked up to him. As she stood in front of him, she lowered her head. “I'm sorry... for the last time...” she said in a soft voice. “I understand... you don't have to apologize...” he answered. “I know what you're feeling, because I'm feeling it too. And I know, it's unfair of me to reject you...”
“Chun will always be the one in your heart, and I understand. All I can do is be a friend to you...”

She looked up at him. And just like before, there was a spark of hope in his eyes. “I don't want to love him anymore...” she said softly. A tear fell from her eye as she speaks. “It... it has been hurting me constantly... and I don't want to feel this pain anymore.” she said. He cupped her cheek with his palm, and wiped the tears from her eyes. “Can I take away your pain? Can I try to make you unlove him?” he asked with a hopeful tone. She closed her eyes, and nodded her head. “Yes...” she said.

“I'm giving you the chance, Lego.”





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Labels: fan fic, Say That You Love Me