Sunday, August 2, 2009

Always and Forever - Chapter 9

Chapter Nine: His First Love




Ella slowly opened her eyes, and the first person she saw was Calvin, who was smiling at him. “Good morning, princess.” he said. Ella smiled at him. “Good morning.” she said groggily. Calvin kept on staring at her, and smiling at her. Ella wrinkled her brows at him. “What?” she asked. Calvin let our a playful smile at her. “What?” he asked. Ella sighed, and rolled her eyes at him. “Are you going to stare at me the whole morning?” she asked. Calvin laughed, and then he leaned over her. “No.” he answered. He put his arm over her, and then stared into her face again. “Actually, I'm planning to do this...” he said. Then, he moved closer to her, cupping her cheeks. Ella closed her eyes, and before she knew it, he was kissing her again. Ella let herself be drowned into his sweet kisses. She needed this, wanted this kind of feeling of being loved, for so long.

Then, Calvin broke their kiss, and stared at her. He never thought Ella could be more prettier when she wakes up. He smiled sexily at her as he brushed the hair from her face. Ella could only giggle at him. “What's up with you?” she asked. “I'm hungry. I feel like eating you up.” Calvin whispered. Ella giggled again, and then pushed him so that she could sit up on the bed. “You could've told me you're hungry. Come on, I'll cook you breakfast.” she said. Ella stood up from the bed, and then pulled Calvin out of the bed.

--

Ella sat on the counter just beside the stove, as she watched Calvin cook their breakfast. “I never thought you could cook.” she commented. Calvin looked at her, and smiled. “Of course. I was forced to learn how to cook. I've been living on my own in Canada for more than 10 years.” he said. He took the plate, and placed the omelet on it. Then, he handed it to Ella. “Tell me what you think of.” he said. Ella took the fork, and took a piece of it to taste. As she chewed on it, she looked up to the ceiling trying to feel to food on her mouth. “What do you think?” he asked. Ella looked at him, and smiled. “It's OK.” she said. She took another bite of it. Then, Calvin moved his face closer to her, giving her puppy eyes. “It's OK? That's all you have to say?” he asked. Ella nodded her head. “It's OK.” she repeated. “That's all you have to say? I was all praises with you cooking last night, and you're just telling me that it's OK?” he asked. Ella put her plate down, and smirked at him. “It's a little overcooked, and salty. Satisfied?” she said. Calvin pouted at her, and his expression made Ella laugh. “Ouch, you broke my heart!” Calvin said. Ella laughed, and the jumped down from the counter. “You wasted the eggs. Next time, leave the cooking to me, all right?” she said.

She placed the plate on the table, and as she looked back at Calvin, he was giving her his signature evil smile. “What?” she asked. Calvin didn't answer her. Instead, he moved towards her. Ella stepped back, not knowing what Calvin will do to her. Then, as Calvin reached her, he began to tickle her sides. Ella laughed hard as he tickled her. “Hah! You didn't like what I cooked, huh?” he said as she tickled her. Ella tried to let go from his grip, and laughed hard as he tickled her. “Aiyo! Stop it, Calvin!” she shouted. She managed to escape from him. She ran towards the den, and Calvin ran after her. “Stop!” Ella said, trying to get away from him. Calvin just smirked at her. He took a step, and grabbed Ella by the arm. He did not let her go, and and continued tickling her. Ella was laughing so hard. She lost her balance, which made her fall on the couch. Calvin fell on top of her.

For a long time, they stared at each other's eyes. She watched Calvin as she smiled lovingly at her. He lowered his head on her, until the tip of their noses touched. He inhaled her scent, and lowered his head to her even more. Ella closed her eyes, and she felt his lips brushed against hers. He pressed his lips against hers, and nibble on her lower lips. Ella responded to his kiss. She felt his hand roam though her body. His warm touch made her shiver, and Calvin felt her trembling. He continued to kiss her lips as his hand trailed down her body. He paused for a while, and stared at her again. He wanted her so much. His body ached for her. He wanted to be this way with Ella for a long time, but fear began to fill his heart. The last time he seduced her, he have hurt her. He doesn't want her to get mad at her because of what he's doing.

Sadly, he let go of Ella, and sat up on the couch. He brushed his hair with his finger, and took a deep breath. “This is wrong...” he thought. Although he have learned to love Ella, what he did is still wrong. Ella sat up on the couch, and stared at him. “Calvin...” she called. He looked back at her, and smiled at her. “Sorry... it's my raging hormones again. Seems like when I'm with you, I can't control myself.” he said. Ella smiled sadly, and nodded her head. She understood that it was just lust. It was stupid of her to think that maybe somehow, Calvin feels the same way for her. She felt him touch her hand. She looked at him, and saw him staring at her again. “I can't touch you... not until we're married.” he said. With that, Ella let out a laugh. “As if I'm still a virgin!” she said. Calvin laughed at her as well. “I want the next time to be special for the two of us. Especially for you...” he said. Ella let out another laugh before standing up. “I think you're just hungry. The egg you cooked have some bad effects on you.” she said. Calvin looked up at her and laughed. “I think so too.” he said. “Fine. Wait for me here. I'll fix you a decent breakfast.” she said. Then, she headed back to the kitchen.

--

Calvin stared outside the window. It was still raining, and he watched as the flowers where being showered by the raindrops. Just by looking outside the garden, he felt the sadness that he have been feeling for five years now. “Selina...” he thought. Gardens will always remind her of his first love. It will always remind him of the happy moments they shared together. It will always remind him of her sweet and innocent face. He closed his eyes, and the image of her smiling face came into his mind. The girl in his mind was vibrant and energetic. She was a cheerful girl who loves being chased by him. Until one day, all of it disappeared. The girl she loves was slowly being taken away by bone cancer.

“When I miss my mom... I used to watch the flowers as they bloom.” he heard Ella said. Calvin looked beside him, and saw her standing by the window. She looked at him, and smiled. “I can't help but watch you. That same expression you have... it's familiar to me.” she said. Calvin looked away from her, and stared outside. “Are you just going to keep quiet? I've told you my story. Can I know yours?” she asked. Calvin let out a laugh after hearing her question. “My story can't be compared to your story.” he said. “But I still want to know. You're going to be my husband, so I want to get to know you before we get married.” she said. Calvin looked at her and smiled. “That's my line.” he said. Ella laughed at him. She hugged herself, and stared outside the window. “So, who is she?” she asked. Calvin smiled sadly as he remembered Selina. “She is my first love.” he answered. “Did she left you?” Ella asked again. Calvin nodded his head. He paused, and continued to stare outside. The memories of Selina were flowing to his mind again. “She did...” he answered. Ella looked up at him, and for the first time, she saw his sadness. “She left me... to become an angel...” he said.

“Oh, I'm sorry...” Ella said sadly. Calvin smiled sadly and shook his head “It's OK...” he said. “Do you want to talk about it?” she asked. Calvin looked at her. “It's been a long time since I last talked about her...” he said softly. “Tell me about her. I'll listen. I want to know about her.” Ella said. Calvin nodded his head. “Her name is Selina... she's my childhood friend... and my first love...” he began.

[Flashback]

Twelve years ago...

“Calvin Chen! You sissy!” Selina shouted as she ran through the garden. Calvin stopped running to catch his breath. Selina sure is fast. No doubt, she's the star runner of their school. “'Wei! I'm not that fast! Can you wait for me?” he shouted at her. Selina looked back, and laughed at the nerdy guy before her. “Ha! That's why you get bullied. You're such a sissy!” Selina teased him. Calvin stood up, and began to ran after her. Selina laughed at him, and began to run away from him again. After awhile, Calvin was able to catch her. Selina laughed as he hugged her tight. “Ha! Now, you can't escape me!” Calvin said to her proudly. “Aiyo! Calvin... let me go!” Selina said. He let out playful smile at her. “I will only let you go if you agree to be my girlfriend...” he said. Selina looked up, surprised at what he said. “You want me to be your girlfriend?” she asked. Calvin nodded her head. “I've liked you for so long, Selina. I've liked you since we were kids, and I promised myself that when we grow up, you will become my wife.” he said.

Selina looked away from him, and smiled to herself. “I don't want to have a sissy boyfriend!” she said. As she looked up at him, she saw him pouting at her. “Why don't you want to have a sissy boyfriend like me?” he asked in a childish tone. “How can you defend me when I'm in trouble? You can't even beat me in running. And besides...” she said. “Besides, what?” Calvin asked. “I know Joanne have a crush on you. If you become my boyfriend, she might get mad at me. I was trying to hook you guys up...” she answered. Calvin smiled, and held Selina tight. “Aiyo, you don't have to worry about Joanne. How about this... agree to be my girlfriend, and I'll hook her up with Mike or Hiro. I will also talk to her, and tell her that I love her cousin very much, and I will never ever hurt you.” he said. “You will do that for me?” Selina asked. Calvin nodded his head. “I'll do everything and anything for you, my princess. That's how much I love you.” he said. Selina looked up at him, and smiled at him. Then, she planted a kiss on his cheek. To his surprise, he let go of Selina, and the girl began to run again. “You're such a sissy boyfriend, Calvin Chen!” she shouted at him. He was still in the state of shock because of what happened. Finally, Selina is his girlfriend now. He watched her as she ran, and then he shook his head. “Wait for me!” he shouted at her. He ran after her, and tried to catch her again.

~~~

Calvin laid beside Selina on the blanket, as they gazed up the stars. That night, they were waiting for the meteor shower. “Aiyo... I'm sleepy already!” Selina complained to him. Calvin looked at her and laughed. “Wei... you're such an impatient girl. Let's wait a little longer, OK?” he told her. Selina looked at guy lying beside her and pouted at him. “Why are we waiting for the meteor shower?” she asked. “Of course. You know, when there's meteor shower, the night sky becomes really bright. It's like having a thousand fairies wave their wands to magic wands to give everyone their wish.” he explained. Selina smiled at him, and then rested her head on his shoulder. “You only want to wish, don't you?” she asked. Calvin let out a laugh, and nodded his head. “You got it!” he said.

Selina looked up at him, giving him a confused look. “What do you have to wish for? You got everything...” he asked, Calvin looked at her, and smiled. “If I tell you what I will wish for, then it won't come true.” he said. Selina gave him another pout. “Fine. Don't tell me.” she said. Calvin just laughed at her. He put his arm around her, and pulled her to hug. “Promise, if my wish comes true, you'll be the first person to find out.” he said. “Really?” she asked. “Really.” he answered. As they looked up, they saw several shooting stars across the sky. “Look! There it is! Make a wish now!” Selina said. Calvin smiled at her, and nodded his head. He closed his eyes, and made a wish on the stars. “I wish...” he prayed. “I wish I can be with the girl I love forever...”

~~~

Calvin stood outside the door as he watched Selina's luggages being put inside the van. Today is the day Selina and her finally will migrate to Canada. He knew he's ready for this, but seeing the girl he loves leave him just breaks his heart. “Selina...” he called her. Selina looked back at her sadly. “Calvin...” she said. Calvin hugged her tight for a long time. Even though she have not left yet, he's starting to miss her. “Take care of yourself. Don't give Auntie Celestine headaches OK?” she said to him. Calvin gently nodded his head. He released her, and looked at her sad face. “Promise me you'll write to me everyday...” he said. Selina let out a sad smile and nodded her head. “Promise me you won't look at other girls while I'm gone...” she asked. Calvin smiled, and nodded his head. “I promise.” he said softly. He felt the tears fall from her eyes, and he could see Selina crying again. They were inseparable as kids, and this is the first time that they will part ways. He cupped her cheek, and stared into her lovely face for a long time. “I will miss you...” he said. Selina bit her lips, trying her best not to breakdown in front of him. “I'm going to miss you too...” she said. He leaned down to her, and gave her a long kiss on the lips. As their lips parted, Calvin hugged her again. He wished not to let her go, but he have to. “I love you... always remember that...” he told her. “I love you too, Calvin...” Selina said. Selina let her go, and as she walked towards the van, she threw one last look at him.

~~~

Selina heard a knock on the door. She immediately rushed up to the door and opened it. And to her surprise, she found Calvin standing by the door. “Calvin!” she said in surprise. Calvin smiled at her and nodded his head. “In the flesh.” he said. She was so happy to see him again. It has been six months since they have been living in Canada, and she couldn't help but miss him so much. She immediately jumped to him, and hugged her. Calvin laughed as he caught her, and hug her tight. As he let her go, he kissed her on the lips. “What are you doing here?” she asked. “I'm staying here for good.” he said. Selina got confused with what he said. “What do you mean?” she asked. “Mom and dad agreed to let me study college here. So, I'm staying here for good. And, I'm going to your school so that we can be together.” he explained. Selina's smile widened with surprise. “Really?” she asked. Calvin nodded his head. Selina couldn't help but hug him again because of her excitement.

~~~

Calvin placed a small velvet box in front of Selina, and Selina only stared at it. “Open it. It's for you...” he said, smiling at her. Selina took the box, and opened it. She saw a solitary diamond ring inside it. “Sel... I've been thinking a lot... and I realized that I'm ready. I know it's too soon, as we haven't graduated yet... but I want to spend the rest of my life with you...” he said. Selina looked up at him. He stood up from his seat. He took the ring from the box, and knelt down in front of her. “Selina Ren, will you marry me?” he asked, smiling at him. Selina kept silent, and looked away from him. He was confused at her reaction. She should be happy, but he felt that she didn't want this to happen. “I'm sorry, Calvin...” she said. Then, she faced him again. “I... I can't marry you...” she said. She stood up from her seat. “Selina...” Calvin called. He stood up, and saw her paused. “Why?” he asked. “Don't you love me anymore?” Selina looked back at him. “Yes.” she said bluntly. “I don't love you anymore. I fell out of love with you. I can't and I don't want to be with you anymore.” she said. Then, she turned her back on him, leaving his devastated and heartbroken.

~~~

Calvin slowly opened the door of the hospital room, and inside, he saw Selina flinching in pain because of the medicine being injected to her. “She didn't want to tell you her condition...” he heard her cousin, Joanne, explain. He continued to watch her, and with her suffering, he felt his heart aching for her. “When she found out she have cancer, it's too late. She only have a few months to live... and you know what, the first thing she thought of is you. She told me that she didn't want to hurt you... that she didn't want to be a burden to you, and she didn't want you to suffer because of her.” Joanne continued to explain. Calvin opened the door, and went inside. He felt his tears falling from his eyes upon seeing the girl he loves in pain. She used to be outgoing and energetic, and now, she was imprisoned in this four walls of the hospital room. She used to be cheery, and her smile can lighten up a dark room. Now, she looked pale, as if someone took the life out of her. “Selina...” he called in a soft voice. Selina looked at him. The moment she saw him, she began to cry. She can't let him see her this way. She doesn't want him to see the pain she have been going through because her disease. “Calvin...” she called tearfully. Calvin immediately rushed to her side, and hugged her tight. He wished he could take away all the pain she is feeling now. He wished he could bring back everything for her. But the only thing he could do now is hug her to at least ease the pain she's feeling right now.

~~~

Calvin sat beside Selina, and watched her as she slept peacefully. Outside, the snow were starting to fall. It is winter, and Selina have long waited for this season. “Calvin...” she called weakly. Calvin looked at her, and held her hand. “I am here...” he whispered. She saw her turn into a smile upon hearing his voice. “Is... is it snowing outside?” she asked. Calvin nodded his head. “Yes it is...” he said. He could hear his own voice cracking. She smiled weakly at him. “It's winter...” she said. Calvin felt the tear in his eyes welling up. “It's the first night of winter...” he said.

The doctors could not do anything to save her. The cancer cells have spread all throughout their body. It is a miracle that Selina was able to live this long, but there isn't anymore for her. He felt Selina reached for his hand. Her hands were so cold. “Selina...” he called again. “I waited for the first snow to fall... and I would die happily if I could see it...” she said. Calvin lifted her up, and let her lean on his chest. He could feel her breath slowly decreasing. “There is it... the snow... it's falling softly on the ground. I could see everything turning white outside...” he said. Selina smiled as she slowly closed her eyes. “I wish I could see it... but... but I can't see anymore...” she said. A tear fell from his eyes upon hearing that. The doctors told them that once she loses her sight, it means that her end will come soon. “Calvin... have I told you how much I love you?” she asked weakly. Calvin slowly nodded his head. “I... I know how much you love me...” he said tearfully. Selina let out another weak smile. “I'm sorry for everything... I'm sorry if I've hurt you in the past... I'm sorry if I have to leave you soon... God knows how much I love you... and that I want to spend a longer time to be with you... but I... I can't do that... not anymore...” she said. Calvin's tears began to cascade his eyes as she speaks. “I understand, Selina. You don't have to say sorry for everything. I understand now why you did those things...” he said.

Calvin hugged her tight, wishing not to let her go. “Remember... that night... when we waited for the meteor shower?” she asked. Calvin nodded his head. “I... I made a wish... for you...” she said. “What... what did you wished for?” he asked. “I wished that you will always be happy... that if... if we can't be together... you... you will find someone... who can love you as much as I do...” Calvin felt a lump in his throat. He wanted to say something to her, but he couldn't. “Calvin... promise me... promise me... when I'm gone... you... you will learn to love again... promise me... you will... you will open up your heart and love again... I... I cannot rest until you promise me that...” she said. Calvin slowly nodded his head. “I promise, Selina. I promise you that...” he said. “Thank you... thank you... Calvin... I... I love you...” she uttered. Calvin bit his lips as he let the tears fall endlessly on his eyes. “I love you too, Selina. I will always love you...” he said.

He reached for her lips and kissed it for the last time. Then, she breathed her last breath, and died in his arms. Calvin hugged her tight, and kissed her cold lips again. “Selina...” he called. But there was no response from her. Finally, he realized, the girl he loves is gone... forever...

[End of Flashback]

Calvin stared outside the window after telling Ella his story. The tears fell from his eyes again. It's been a long time since he told someone how he felt after Selina left him, and he never thought he would feel the same pain that he felt when he died. Ella looked up, and reached for his face. He looked at her, and felt her finger wipe the tears in his eyes. Then, she smiled at him. “I know, wherever Selina is, she wouldn't want to see you this sad.” she said. Calvin's lips curve into a smile at what she said. “Thank you, Ella. Thank you for listening to me.” he said. Ella looked away from him, and stared outside the window. “You're right. Maybe your story is nothing compared to my story, but still you had your heart hurt before, just like me. You lost the girl you love while I... I lost my only family...” Calvin looked at her, and held her hand. “The pain I felt is nothing compared to yours. Your father hurt you... and all your life you have been alone. I... I've been alone for quite some time now. I wanted company... and you came into my life...” he said softly. Ella slowly looked up at him, and saw him gazing at her. “I don't want to be alone anymore, Ella. I don't want to feel like an empty shell. When you came into my life, I realized I needed someone.. someone like you. I needed someone whom I can take care of, and someone who can take care of me. I needed someone who feels warm....” he said. He leaned towards her, and tucked her hair under her ear. “That's why I agreed to marry you. Its not because of our company... but because I don't want to be alone anymore. Since Selina died, I hid myself from the world. I kept my promise not to love anyone else but her, and I didn't realize that it's hurting me. When I met you, you made me realize that I could have another chance again. And I wanted to take this chance...” he continued. He gazed into her eyes, and planted a kiss on her lips. “Ella...” he said. “Will... will you give me a chance to love you?”

Labels: Always and Forever, fan fic