Saturday, August 8, 2009

Always and Forever - Chapter 11

Chapter Eleven: Yesterday, Today, Tomorrow


A painful yesterday,
A hopeful tomorrow,
Everything lies on what will happen today...

--

He sat alone in his dark office. He swiveled his hair, and from the corner of his table, he saw a picture. For so long, he have not bothered to look at it, for it would only break his heart. He took it, and stared at it for a long time. Ella. Diana. The two most important women in his life. In that picture, they were smiling. They were an epitome of a perfect family. She was a loving wife, and she was a smart and good daughter. What more could he asked for, he asked himself. Something more. He needed something more. And his greed was the reason why his family was ruined.

Robin Chen.

He was a nobody before he married Diana. Everything he have now – fame, power and wealth – are all because of his wife. But the marriage is something he never wanted. It was a marriage that was forced upon him. Only because the woman he married was carrying his child. He never loved her. God knows he did try to love her, but his heart could only belong to someone else. And sadly, the woman he loved before Diana could never chose him in the same way he chose her over his own family.

He ruined everything.

And he knows his daughter hated him for it.

--

Calvin knelt down and stared at the gold wedding ring on the display. “Do you think Ella would like this?” he asked. Hiro knelt down, and took a look at it. “I think so...” he said. Calvin stood up, and faced the lady behind the display. “Can I take a look at this ring?” he asked. The lady nodded her head. She took the ring, and placed it on the counter top to show it to Calvin. He took the rings in his hand, and looked at it closely. It would look lovely on Ella's fingers, he thought. With this ring, everyone could see that she is his and his alone. “Do you think she will like this?” he asked again. Hiro sighed, and folded his arm. “Man, for the second time... yes... Ella will love it. She'll go gaga over it. So, buy it already, will you?” he said in an irritated tone. Calvin laughed at him. Then, he instructed the lady to wrap the rings up.

Just then, he heard his phone ring. He took it from his pocket, and saw Mike's name flashing on the screen. “Hello?” he said as he answered the call. “Hey, married guy. I saw what you're looking for. Can you come here and take a look?” he heard Mike said. Calvin smiled to himself. He took a pen and paper from Hiro, and jotted down the address Mike told him. “Thanks, Mike. I'll be there in a while.” he said before ending the call. He paid for the rings for, and handed it to Hiro. “I'll leave this first to you, OK? I have to go and see Mike.” he told him. Hiro could only give him a confused look. “Are you going there alone, without me?” he asked. Calvin shook his head. “I'm going there, but not with you. See you later.” he said. Then, he immediately got out of the shop. Hiro smiled to himself as he watched his friends. “Man, this guy's really in love.” he said to himself.

--

“Eh, Ella... I thought the motif for the wedding is violet and white. Why are we only looking at white roses?” Chun asked as they look around the flower market. “Of course. I want the venue to be filled with white roses.” she said as she paused at one stand. She looked at the vat filled with white roses, and smiled to herself as she saw how perfect it is. “Well then, if that's the case, you should've made white as your main motif. If everything will be decorated with white roses, then it will over power the other color!” Chun said. Ella looked at him, and glared at him. “Fine. We'll make it as the base for the other flowers. I know how much you love white rose.” he said. “It's good that you know.” she said.

Then, she heard her phone ring. She took her phone out, and saw Calvin's name flashing on the screen. “Hey...” she said as she answered the call. “Hey, princess. Are you busy today?”
“Chun and I were looking for flowers to buy. Why?”
“Can you ditch him for a while? I want to show you something.”
Ella let out a confused look at what he said. “Why?” she asked. “Just do as I say. I really want you to see this. Can you do that for me, pretty please?” he asked. His tone is like that of a child asking for a big favor, and she laughed at him. “Fine. I'll be there. Where should I meet you?” she asked. 'I'll SMS the address to you after this call. I'm expecting you. Don't keep me waiting.” he said. Ella smiled to herself, and nodded her head. “OK. I'm on my way now. Bye.” she said, then she ended the call. She looked up at Chun, and saw him smiling wickedly at him. “What?” she asked. “I was expecting that you'll tell him that you love him. From the way you were acting, you didn't look like a girl who was forced to be married to this guy!” he said. Ella just rolled her eyes at him. “It's not like that, OK. And besides, Calvin and I have gotten close anyway...” she said. Chun put his hand on his waist, and raised an eyebrow at her. “Since when did the two of you have gotten closer? Since you brought that guy to your secret place? Ella, dear... it's so unlikely of you to bring someone you just met to your summer house. I, myself, have not set a foot on it... and I'm wondering why you brought him there.” Chun said. “Simply because Calvin will be my husband, that's why.” she said. “Or is it because Calvin is special to you. You love him, that's why.” Chun said. Ella let out a weary sigh, and shook her head. “Wu Chun, I'm not having this conversation with you now. I have to go. Take care of the flowers, will you?” she said. Chun just smiled at her as she watched her leave. “How can you deny what you feel, when it's already obvious that you are in love with him...” he said to himself.

--

Ella parked her car in front of a building, and by the entrance, she saw Calvin and Mike waiting for her. “So, what's this?” she asked as she approached the two. Calvin looked at Mike, and the latter smiled at him. Mike gave him the keys, and said goodbye to the two. Ella was getting confused with what's happening. “Wei, Calvin Chen... you're not planning anything bad to me, aren't you?” she joked. Calvin just laughed at her. “Why would I do anything to you? It's just a little surprise, OK?” he said. He took her hand, and led her to the elevator.

Once the elevator stopped and its doors have opened, Calvin pulled Ella out, and led her to one of the room. He looked at her, and smiled, while Ella could give him a confused look. He took the keys, and opened the door. “Surprise!” he said. Ella was still confused with what's happening. “What surprise?” she asked. “This.” he said, pointing inside the pad. Ella entered, and saw a fully furnished pad. Ella couldn't help but smile. Everything is arranged in the way she wanted it. “This will be our home once we get married. I do hope that you liked it. If you hate the furniture, we can go shopping right after the wedding.” she heard him say. Ella looked at him, and gave him an astonished look. “Why?” she asked. “I figured out that you wouldn't want us to live at your mansion, and you might get awkward if you live at our place, so I decided that we go solo and have a house of our own.” he said as he smiled at her.

Calvin took Ella's hand, and pulled her to one of the rooms of the house. It was the master's bedroom. “This will be your bedroom.” Calvin said as he showed her the room. “Mine will be just right across yours. I'm not going to force you to share bedrooms with me, I know it will be awkward on your part.” he said. Ella entered the room, and looked at the king size bed in he middle of the room. Then, she looked up at him. “I don't mind sharing rooms with you.” she said. Calvin's eyes widened upon hearing what she said. “Really?” he asked in amazement. Ella smiled and nodded her head. “The room's too big for me, especially the bed. I guess it wouldn't hurt sharing it with you. And besides, you're paying for this pad, right?” she said. Calvin smiled and nodded her head. “Thanks... so... we're going to get this pad?” he asked. Ella nodded her head. “I love it, Calvin.” she said. Then, she reached up to him, and kissed him on the lips, which made Calvin even more surprised. “Thank you, Calvin. Thank you for everything.” she said. Calvin felt himself blush at her kiss. “Y-your welcome...” he stuttered. He glanced at her, and saw her giggling. She took his hand, and looked up to him. “Can you show me around? I want to see the whole place...” she said. Calvin smiled and nodded his head.

--

Melinda sat by her bed as she took an old diary by her sad table. As she flipped the pages, a picture of her and another girl smiling happily caught her attention. Carefully, she took the picture and stared at it for a long time. The girl beside her was smiling happily, and so does she. This is the girl she have loved more than of a sister, she was her destined twin, her best friend. All she wanted was to see her smiling this way. When was the last time she had a glimpse of her smile? Since the day he left her, she have not see her smile that way. He caused her her heartache. He caused her to be sunk into a depression, leading to her own death. He ruined everything for her. And though she have every right to be mad at him for what he did, she couldn't. Because her heartache is partly her own fault.

“Diana...” she whispered. “I wish you will make Robin realize that his decision is hurting his own daughter. I know that if only you're alive right now, you wouldn't let Robin control of Ella...” she whispered. She traced her finger on her face, and let a tear roll down her eyes. “I wish you have forgiven me... for the heartache that I have caused you... for leaving you especially when you needed it the most...” she whispered. If only she could turn back time, she would do everything to stop everything that had happened. She would stop Diana from falling in love with Robin. She would tell him not to marry him. But what can she do? She could see how happy Diana is with him, and she have no guts before to take away her happiness. She knew that Robin did not love him, but was only marrying him because of their child. She thought Robin could learn to love her best friends, but she was wrong. His love for another woman is much stronger that his love for his wife and his child, and so in the end, he abandoned them.

The thing she have feared most have been happening right before her eyes. Ella is being forced to marry a stranger, and though she could see that her step daughter have already learned to love the man she will marry, there is still this fear in her heart that she will experience the same heartache her mother have felt before. She have tried to talk to Robin out of it, but she failed. He insisted on her marriage. “Diana...” she said as she cried. “I'm sorry to fail you. I'm sorry that I wasn't able to take care of Ella...” she said. She carefully tucked the picture inside her diary, and put it inside the drawer. She have decided that it's all up to her to keep Ella from another heartache. Her father has disappointed her in the past, but she will never ever disappoint her step daughter.

--

The next day...

“Where are we going today?” Calvin asked as he was driving. Ella looked at him, and smiled. “Can we go to the flower shop first? I need to get something before we visit a very special person...” she said. Calvin looked at her and smiled. “OK. So, who is this very special person?” he asked. Ella just smiled at him. “You'll find out soon.” she said. They stopped by at a flower shop, and Ella bought a bouquet of white roses. They were on their way, and before he knew it, they were inside a cemetery. Ella told him to stop at one corner. She got out of the car, and walked towards a grave. Calvin got out of his car, and followed Ella. He watched her as she placed the white roses on the grave. He read the name written on the grave – Diana Chen, loving wife and mother. He looked at Ella and saw her clearing up her mother's tomb. Then, she stood up, and looked at Calvin. “Calvin, I want you to meet my mom.” she said. Then, she faced her mother's tomb. “Mom, this is Calvin. He's going to be my husband...” she said. Calvin looked at Ella, and smiled at her lovingly. Then, he turned to her mother's grave. “It's my pleasure to meet you, Auntie Chen. I'm glad to finally meet the mother of my wife...” he said. Then, he looked up at Ella again. “We're getting married in a few weeks' time. And now that I met, you, I would like to ask for your blessing... for me and your daughter. I promise to take good care of your daughter. I will not hurt her. I will always make her happy. I assure you that Ella will be in good hands.” he said softly.

Ella looked away from him, and let out a nervous laugh. “Aiyo... what are you saying?” she said. “What's wrong? It's true. I'm keeping my promise to you and to your mom...” he said. He put his hands on her shoulder, and made her face him. “I know how much you love your mom. I can see in your eyes that you've been missing her. Ella, I promise you, from today onwards, you won't be alone anymore. I will be your friend, and your own family. I will never leave you. I assure you that.” he said. Ella smiled at him,and then hugged him tight. “Mom...” she thought. “Many times, I have asked you, not to let me fall in love with him further. But mom... I couldn't help it. I... I just wish he could love me in the same why that I do...” she said silently as she clung on to Calvin.

--

Robin walked inside the summer house, and looked sadly at it's emptiness. Since he divorced Diana, he have not set foot in this place. He knows he would only feel guilty for ruining his own family, for hurting the woman who loved her and the daughter who looked up to him. Since the day he left them, there was this urge to go back to his family and rebuild what he have destroyed. But as brave as he was when he left them, he was too scared to face them. He couldn't face his own family after he abandoned them.

He walked towards the garden, and looked outside the window. The garden was Diana and Ella's favorite place in their summer house. He remembered the Sunday picnics they had outside. He remembered running after little Ella, and when he caught her, he would tickle her until she cried because of laughter. He remembered Diana's smiling face. Her sweet and gentle voice that soothes away the pain her daughter is feeling after falling into the ground because of running. That same voice is the one that greets him after a long, hard day at work. When he felt nothing he does is right, it was Diana who encourages him. He knew Diana loved him unconditionally, but he couldn't even give back that love she gave him, not even half of it.

He looked back, and saw their bedroom. He could clearly remember that day that he told her he want out of their marriage. She kept her silence as she watched him pack his bags. She did not utter a word, instead, he could only hear her muffled cry. The more he hears her cry, the more it was harder for him to walk away from her. But he couldn't pretend anymore. Diana deserves someone much better than him, and the divorce is the best thing he could do for her. He remembered the confused look in Ella's face. His daughter have no idea of what's going on between him and her mother. He knew he's destined to break his daughter's heart the moment he walked out on them. And he was right. His own daughter hated him for tearing their family apart. She could not forgive him for being the reason of her mother's death. And there will always this regret in his heart for hurting her.

--

Ella plopped to the bed, and soon Calvin followed beside her. It's a week before their wedding, and they have been quite busy preparing for that day. “So tiring...” Ella muttered. Calvin looked at the girl beside him, and smiled. Ella looked back at him, confused at the way he's smiling at her. “What?” she asked. “Nothing. It's just that you're too cute when you're tired...” he said. Ella just laughed at him. “Please, don't give me that crap...” she said. Calvin laughed at her, then he pinched her nose. He laid on his back, and stared at the ceiling of their bedroom. Ella looked back at him, and he could see that he's in his deep thoughts. “What's wrong?” she asked. Calvin looked back at her, and smiled. “Nothing... I'm just thinking of somethings...”
“What things?”
“A lot of things...”
“Like?”
“Like our future together...”

Ella looked away from him, and stared up the ceiling. “What about our future?” she asked in a low voice. “I can't believe that a week from now, we'll be husband and wife. You will become Mrs. Calvin Chen.” he said. “Are... are you regretting it? Marrying someone like me?” she asked. She looked at him, and saw him shaking his head. “Whatever force that is that made you come into my life, I'm thankful for it.” he said. Then, he looked at Ella. “Are you regretting that you agreed to marry me?” he asked. Ella smiled and shook his head. “I'm glad that out of a million people out there, it was you who was destined to marry me...” she said. Calvin could only smiled at her. He slid his arm under her head, and pulled her close to him for an embrace. “I'm looking forward to that day... spending each day with you...” he said softly. She looked at him, and smiled at him sadly. She was hoping that one day, he would tell her that he loves her in the same way that she loves him, but she could only wait for that day. She knows it's too soon for him to fall in love with him. But if she only knew, Calvin have been wishing the same. He wanted to love her, but he felt that when he tries to make her feel his love, she runs away from him. He could understand that, after the painful experience she had with his family, he could not blame Ella for protecting herself and not seeing his love for her.

“Do... do you think... we... we will fall in love with each other?” Ella asked. Calvin looked at her again. He wanted to say yes. He wanted to say that he have already fallen in love with her, but he was scared that she would turn away from him again. “I'm not sure what tomorrow will bring...” he answered. Ella looked at him sadly, quite disappointed with his answer. “Oh...” she said in a low voice. “But what I know is that I wanted to make this marriage work...” he said. They both looked at each other, and she saw Calvin smile at him. “I wanted our marriage to last, like my parents. Maybe one day, we will fall in love. And I will wait patiently until that day you have learned to love me.” he said softly. “But I'm scared... of myself... I... I don't know...” Calvin placed his finger on her lips, and she became silent. He stared into her eyes, and smiled lovingly at her. “I don't want to pressure you, Ella. Let's just wait what will happen after the wedding. For now, I'm contented with our friendship. I treasure it the most...” he said. Ella looked away from him, and sat up on the bed. Calvin sat up on the bed, and gave her a confused look. “Ella?” he asked. She closed her eyes, fighting the tears from falling down her face. “I love you...” she wanted to say. “Tell me that you love me too, Calvin. Tell me that you do... I don't think I can stay long in this marriage if you won't learn to love me...” she thought. “Ella?” Calvin asked again in a worried tone. Ella opened her eyes and forced a smile at him. “It doesn't matter what happen in the future, Calvin.” she said. “Meeting you, and having you as my husband, even for a short period of time is enough for me...” She looked into his eyes, and then held his hand. “Calvin... if one day, I ask you to let me go... please let me go... because of you insist on staying long in this marriage...” Before she could finish her sentence, Calvin cupped her cheeks, and planted a kiss on her lips. He doesn't want to hear what she have to say. In his heart, he knows there is no way he will let her go.

--

A day before the wedding.

Ella escaped from everything, and retreated to her summer house. She maybe feeling jittery inside, but there was this fear in her heart. She's having second thoughts in marrying Calvin. She doesn't know if she made the right decision to marry him. She promised herself before that she won't get married. She didn't want to fall in love. She didn't want to end up like her mom, who died loving her father in vain. She doesn't want that to happen, but it's already happening to him. Everyday, she's falling in love with Calvin more and more, and it seems that she could not escape him anymore.

She understand that Calvin still loves Selina, his first love. She understands that nobody could replace her in his heart. But somehow, there's this wish in her heart, hoping Calvin would give him even a little love he have for her. Selina is lucky to be loved by someone like him, because he loved her beyond her death. He remained faithful to her for years, and she felt guilty for trapping him into this marriage. It wasn't a good idea. She knew it from the start. If only she wouldn't risk losing everything, especially this summer house, she wouldn't have agreed to it. “But am I being selfish, because of my reason for marrying him?” she thought. Calvin have explained to him his real reason why he wanted to marry her. He was afraid to be alone for the rest of his life. He wanted to be with someone. And he chose her to spend the rest of his life him.

Maybe it was a selfish reason, but as she reflected on everything, she realized she was marrying Calvin for one reason – she loves him. She wanted to be with him. She loved the feeling whenever she's with him. He is her security blanket. He made her feel special. But still, that reason is selfish. She doesn't know if Calvin will love her once they're married, and the thought of him leaving her because she wasn't enough scares her the most. “Should I tell him how I feel or not?” she asked herself. Maybe telling him that she loves her would make her feel at ease, but she's scared of another rejection. She couldn't open up her heart, and see it breaking before her eyes.

“Ella...” she heard a familiar voice call. She looked back, and saw Charlene. “Why can't you leave me alone in peace?” she glared at her. “I only wanted to spend my last day as a single woman alone...” she said in a frustrated tone. “Ella, everyone's worried. Your dad thought you might run away and not come tomorrow. Tomorrow is your wedding...”
“Does everyone have to say it in my face?”
“Ella...
“i just wanted to think things through, OK? Can you just leave me alone?
Charlene walked up to her best friend, and put her arms around her. “You're not having second thoughts about marrying Calvin, right?” she asked. Ella looked away from her, and stared outside the window. “What if I am?” she asked. “You can't turn back now...” Charlene said softly. Ella let out a smirk. “I prepared for this. I made an effort to make tomorrow my dream wedding. I'm going to wear the wedding dress I designed, the one that I'm supposed to wear if I'll marry the man I love. Do you think I'll back out tomorrow?” she said. Ella sighed, and looked at her. “I only wanted to be alone today. I wanted to enjoy my last day being Ella Chen, the bitch. Tomorrow, I will be his wife, and everything in my life will change. And you know what, Charlene... I'm scared...” she said. Ella bit her lips as she let a tear roll down her eyes. “I'm scared of what will happen tomorrow. I'm scared of what will happen to me after I marry Calvin. God, I love him... and I'm unsure if he does feel the same about me...” she said. “Maybe he does love you, Ella. I can see it in the way he looks at you. El, for once, maybe you should open up your heart to him, and give him a chance? I know you still could not get over your past... but it's worth a risk. You risked your heart that very moment you walked up to him and told him you will marry him. You had a start, and you should continue it...” Charlene said. Ella paused, and looked at her. “I... I don't want to end like mom...” she whispered. “Dad never loved her... and I... I'm scared that... that he will hurt me in the same way dad hurt me and mom... I'm scared, Charlene... I'm so scared...” she cried to her. Charlene sighed, then she pulled Ella close to her, and embraced her. She let her cry on her shoulder. She wish there's something she could do to take away all of her fears. She doesn't deserve all the hurt she felt, and all the fear she have right now. She deserves something better. And she hope, it will be Calvin that will give her a love that she truly deserves.

Labels: Always and Forever, fan fic