Chapter 2 – Love SongsShe made a careful step. Her hand was trying to sense if there would be any object that would block her way. Her body turn to a familiar direction, and soon, she have reached her destination. She reached for the door knob, and gently opened the door. She walked slowly, until her knee bumped into a small wooden bench. She smiled, and then sat on the bench. Her hands trailed through the ivory keys of the piano. Then, her fingers did it's trick, and began to play a beautiful tune. As she played her favorite tune, her mind took her back to a time not so long ago...
--
A year ago...
The last thing she remembered was the truck coming towards their direction, the loud screeching that almost deafened her ear, the crash of the glass right in front of her. She remembered her loud shrieks, the cry for help. Then, it was darkness.
She doesn't know how long she have been asleep. When she became conscious, she heard the beeping of the machine beside her. “She was lucky that she have survived this ordeal...” she heard someone say. She tried to get up, but her body was too sore for her to do it. Even the simple opening of her eye lids seems to be a very hard thing to do. “But we could not be sure until... until she wakes up...” she heard the doctor said. “What happened?” she thought. She tried to move her body, but she felt that her body was too heaver for her to move. “Mom...” she called. She heard footsteps coming up to her. Someone took her hand, that familiar warmth let her know that it was her mom that's beside her. “Honey...” she said. She slowly opened her eyes, but she couldn't see anything. Everything was dark. “Mom... can someone turn the lights on...” she said in a frail voice. “It's too dark... I... I'm scared of dark...” she added. She heard her mom gasp. Then, she heard her soft sobs right beside her. “Mom?” she called again. She blinked her eyes, hoping she could see some light. But still, it was darkness that she sees. “Mom... its too dark... I can't see...” she said again. “Hannah...” she heard her mom call her. She felt her mom held her hand tight. With her cries, she finally understands...
She was already blind.
And it's the end of her dreams.
--
A month after she was released from the hospital, her parents decided to send her to a facility that would be able to take care of her, and to help her get through her blindness. Her parents told her they are sending her there for her good, but she wanted to think they are throwing her away for she is no use for them anyway. Hannah Tan, the promising pianist and the musical prodigy, is now a useless, blind girl. All her dreams have shattered after that accident. Her scholarship at the Royal Academy for Music was canceled because of what happened to her. And now, her parents are throwing her out of their home.
“Hannah...” she heard her mom called as soon as she settled in her room. “We're leaving now...” she said. Hannah remained unmoved. “Hannah...” she heard her mom call again. She heard footsteps coming up to her. “You know this is for the best...” her mom said. “If you know what's best for me, then you and dad would take care of me. You will not throw me out of our house.” she said in a bitter tone. “We talked about this, honey, remember? You know very well that dad and I are both working, and no one will take care of you... we only did this for you...” she said. She shook her head, and turned away from them. “You hated me.” she said in a firm tone. “You're only doing this because you hate me for being blind. It wasn't my fault that the truck us... leaving me like this. It wasn't my fault that your stupid son is too reckless! It wasn't my fault, but you can't even forgive me for losing my sight!” she shouted at her. There was a silence, then she heard her mom's sob. “Hannah... we're not blaming you for everything...” her mom said in a low voice. “Maybe you are not, but you are punishing me... simply because I became blind. It shouldn't be me who's supposed to be blind. It should be your stupid son. And for the rest of my life, I will hate Christopher for what he have done. If it wasn't for him, then maybe I wouldn't end up like this. If it wasn't for him, then maybe I wouldn't lose my scholarship. He is the reason why I can no longer play the piano. He's the reason why I can no longer have my dream...” she said in a furious tone.
She felt her mom released her hand, and kiss her on the forehead. She doesn't care anymore. They have abandoned her like a little kitten, leaving her all alone in an unknown place. She thought that it would be her family that would help her cope with what happened to her, but she was wrong. They left her now that she needed them most. As she heard the door close behind her, tears began to fall from her eyes. For a month, she was trying to be strong in front of her family, but now, she's at her weakest. “This will be the first and last time I will cry...” she thought. “I'll prove to them that I don't need them.. not anymore...”
--
“Mom...” Christopher called as soon as she closed the door of Hannah's room. She was surprised to see his son. “Chris...” she said in a low voice. “How... how long have you been here?” she asked. Christopher lowered his head, not answering his mother's question. “You... you heard everything?” she asked. Christopher slowly nodded his head. “She hate me mom... she really hates me...” he said guiltily. He admits, it was his fault that Hannah became blind. If only he didn't bring Hannah to their cousin's party, and drank too much, maybe they wouldn't have a car accident. Maybe his sister wouldn't hate him this much. It was hurting him, because they have always been close. He never thought that his recklessness would cause his sister to hate him this much. “Chris... Hannah doesn't mean what she said....” her mom said. “But mom, because of me, she will not be able to play the piano anymore. She's right, I should be the one who's in her place. Mom, I regret everything I have done. If only I could give my own eyes to her...” he said. She saw the tears in his son's eyes as he speaks. She moved closer to him, hugged him tight. “Chris... in time, Hannah will forgive you. She will realize that everything that happened is an accident. We sent her here, because this is for the best... we want her to live a full life and to learn to rely on herself that's why we sent her here.” she said. She let go of his son, and smiled at him. “One day, everything will be back in it's place. Don't worry Chris, one day, she will forgive you...” she said. Christopher nodded his head, and sadly looked at Hannah's door.
--
Hannah heard a soft knock on her door. She chose to ignore it and continued to try and get some sleep. But then, the knock became louder. She sat up on her bed, and then she heard to door open. “Hi!” she herd someone say. “Who are you?” she asked in an angry tone. “I'm Arron. I'm the music teacher here. You must be the new student, right?” he asked. She heard his footsteps coming up to her. “Will you get out?” she said to him. “But, you see... it's time for music class. Come on, it's going to be fun...” Arron said. “I don't want to attend any of your stupid class. I just want to be alone, so please leave me in peace.” she said in a firm tone. “But you'll be missing half of your life if you -”
Before Arron could continue what he said, Hannah threw her pillow at him, out of anger. “Get out!” she shouted at him. “Leave me alone! I don't need anyone!” she shouted at him again. She took her pillow, and threw it at him again. Arron covered himself with his arm as the pillow flew onto him. “OK, OK, I got the message. You don't have to be that mean...” he said. Arron got out of her room, and as soon as Hannah's sure that he's gone, she went back to bed. Then, she heard the door open again. “Are you sure you don't want to go to our music class?” she heard the annoying guy said. Hannah sat up on her bed again. “Get out!” she shouted at him.
--
The next day, Hannah was taking a stroll at the lobby. At one room, she heard a beautiful melody being played on the piano. She paused, and began to listen to it. She smiled to herself as she listened to that tune being played on the piano, then at the thought of not being able to play the piano again, he smile disappeared. It was replaced by a tear forming in her eyes. Music has been her life. Playing the piano is what she does best. After the accident that took her eyesight, she felt that everything was taken away from her. It was the only thing that's making he whole, and now that she couldn't play it anymore, she was nothing but an empty shell.
She heard the music stop. Then, she felt someone standing beside her. “Who are you?” she asked. “It's me...” she heard a familiar voice said. She remembered him as the guy who barge into her room yesterday, asking her to join their music class. “I can see that you've been listening to me playing the piano, huh?” Arron teased. He turned to a smile, amused upon seeing the irritation in her face. “Why? Don't I have the right to listen to anyone playing the piano? I maybe blind, but I'm not deaf.” she said defensively. Then, she heard him laugh. “What?” she asked in an annoyed tone. “I thought you were the kind of girl who wouldn't appreciate music. But when I saw you by the door, smiling to yourself while I'm playing the piano... it changed the way I thought about you.” Arron said. Then, she felt him touch her hand. In an instant, she pulled her hand away from him. “Just as I thought...” she heard him say. “Do you play the piano before?” he asked. “It's none of your business!” she snapped at him. Arron turn into a smile again. “I bet you miss playing the piano...” he said. Hannah shook her head, and then began to walk away from him. She was halfway through, when she tripped on to something. She almost fell on the floor, good thing Arron rushed up to him and helped her up. “Are you OK?” he asked. Hannah only looked away from him.
“I guess you still don't understand why you are here at the center...” Arron said. “What is there to understand? My parents threw me out here because I am no use to them anymore...” she said bitterly. Arron smiled at her, and shook his head. “No, it's not like that. The blind are sent here, so that they could learn to be independent... they are here to learn to live without their sight, and to trust their other senses, especially their heart... I know, one day you will be able to accept your condition, and learn to trust your instincts in everything you do.” he said. “You're only saying that because you are not the one who got blind. It's easy for you to say that, because you still have your eyes, and you still can play the piano...” Hannah said. She took his hands away from him, and walked away from him. Arron could only watch Hannah as she leaves. “Maybe I can still play the piano...” he thought sadly. “But not for long...”
--
Days have passed by, and Hannah have slowly opened up. She attended some of her classes at the center, except for the music class. “Hannah jie!” she heard a little girl call her. She looked at the direction where she heard the voice, and smile to herself. It was the voice from a little girl named Rosemarie, who, like her, is also blind, and studying at the center. “Rosemarie... what can I do for you?” she asked. “Hannah jie, you promised me today that you will come with me to our music class.” the little girl said. Hannah knelt down at her, and gave her a smile. “I'm sorry, Rosemarie I still have a lot of things to do...” she said. She felt the little girl frown at her. “But jie, you promised me! You have to come to our music class today!” Rosemarie said. Before she could further say anything, the little girl took her hand, and pulled her towards the music room.
As they got nearer to the music room, Hannah could hear the someone playing the piano, while the other kids were singing a happy song. She heard Rosemarie open the door, and the music stopped. “Rosemarie!” she heard a familiar voice say. “Arron ge, sorry for being late.” Rosemarie said, giving Arron a toothy smile. Arron smiled back at her, and then looked up at Hannah, who was standing behind her. “I see you brought a friend with you...” Arron said to her. Rosemarie nodded her head. “Arron ge, this is Hannah jie. She's new here.” Rosemarie said. Arron walked up to Hannah, and then took her hand. “I finally know your name. I'm Arron. Nice meeting you, Hannah.” he said. “I... I have to go...” Hannah said as she took her hand from him. Arron's suddenly felt sad at the thought of her leaving again. Now that she's here, he doesn't want her to go. “Can you stay?” he asked. He held his hand again, and stared at her face. “Please?” he asked again. “Jie...” he heard Rosemarie said. He looked down at the little girl, and saw her tugging Hannah's skirt. “You promised me. Please stay...” Rosemarie said. Hannah put her hand on her head, and brushed her hair. “I... I guess it wouldn't hurt to stay awhile...” she said. Arron turned into a smile upon hearing what she said. “Really? T-that's great!” Arron said.
He lead the two girls to their seat, then went back in front of the piano. He could feel his heart beating faster with the thought that Hannah is in his class. But then, he have to keep himself calm. “What do you want to sing next?” he asked his students. “Arron ge! Can we sing the one about the rainbow again?” he heard one of the kids said. He looked back at them and smiled. “Yes, Arron ge! I want to sing that one too!” another one said. Then, he heard the other kids shout in agreement. Arron turned to the piano. He placed his fingers on the ivory key. As he began to play his favorite tune, he and his students began to sing
Somewhere over the rainbow
Way up high
There's a land that I heard of
Once in a lullaby
Somewhere over the rainbow
Skies are blue
And the dreams that you dare to dream
Really do come true
Someday I wish upon a star
And wake up where the cloud are far behind me
Where troubles melt like lemons drops
Way above the chimney tops
Thats where you'll find me
Somewhere over the rainbow
Blue birds fly
Birds fly over the rainbow
Why, then oh why can't I?
Hannah smiled as she listened to Arron sing and play the piano. She never thought Arron could sing well, and play the piano well. Hearing Arron play piano, she also have this urge to come up to his side and play the piano with him. Somehow, she felt sad at that thought. She could never play the piano, especially now that she have became blind.
--
“Goodbye Arron ge! See you tomorrow!” the kids said as they went out of the room. “Goodbye!” Arron said as he waved at them. “Take care, OK?” he shouted at them again. As soon as his students are out of sight, he turned to Hannah, and smiled. “I think I have to go to...” Hannah said as she stood up from her seat. She took her walking stick. “Hannah! Can you... can you stay?” Arron asked. Arron looked at her face, and he could see the confusion written all over her face. “But, why? The music class is over, right?” she asked. “Can... can we talk? For a while? I... I was hoping we could be friends...” Arron said shyly. Hannah find herself smiling at what he said. She could also feel her cheeks turn crimson. All her life, no guys have dared to befriend her because she is the nerdy type, and Arron is the first one to befriend her. “What are we going to talk about?” she asked, “Anything... about you... about music... if you want I can teach you how to play the piano.” Arron said. “Wei, can you not joke around. How can I play the piano? Can't you see that I'm blind?” Hannah said.
Arron walked towards her, and then took her hands. “You have such lovely hands. I be these hands are made to play the piano. It would be a waste if you will not play the piano again just because you're blind. Even if you cannot see, you can still do things that a normal person can do.” he said. Hannah sighed, and smiled sadly at him. “I know you're only trying to cheer me up, Arron. Am I really that obvious that I miss playing the piano?” she asked. Arron smiled and nodded his head. “I can see it in your face. You miss it very much...” he said. “I... I don't know how I can still play, now that I'm...” Hannah's voice began to falter as she lowered her head. She felt Arron's hand touch her chin, and lift her head up. She could feel that Arron was staring into her face. “Hannah, you don't have to see to be able to play music. All you need is your heart, and you will be able to make beautiful melodies.” he said.
Arron pulled her, and then she found herself sitting beside him in front of the piano. “Now, put your hands on the keys...” Arron told her. She did as she said. “Then, I want you to play any tune that you can hear.” he said. Hannah became confuse at what he said. “Any tune?” she asked. Arron closed his eyes, and then smiled to himself. “Yes... that tune...” he said. “Can you hear that melody being played softly by the wind?” he asked. “I... I can't hear anything...”
“But I can clearly hear it...”
“How could you hear it while I can't?”
“Use your heart to be able to hear that melody...”
As Arron placed his hands on the ivory keys, he began to play a beautiful music that she have not heard before. As he played, Hannah closed her eyes, and listened to him. Then, she heard the music stop playing. “It's your turn... to play...” she heard Arron said. She placed her hand on the piano keys, her fingers trembling as she touched it. “I... I don't know how...” she said. “Is there any song that you know by heart?” he asked. Hannah slowly nodded her head. “If you know that song by heart, then you would be able to play it... why don't you give it a try?” he said.
Hannah pressed the piano key, and a long sound echoed throughout the room. Arron looked at Hannah, and smiled at her. “You can do it, Hannah...” he said. She pressed another key, and another sound came out. She tried to figure out which key to press to get the note she needed for her song, but then she pressed on the wrong key. “It's OK to make mistakes... you can try again...” he said. Her hand moved, trying to find the first note, and once she found it, she played it. She pressed another key, and slowly, she was playing her favorite song. Arron listened to her as she tried to play her song. He smiled to himself, feeling contented that he was able to make Hannah play the piano again. He knows it will take a long time before he could help her gain back her confidence in making music. “You did it...” Arron said as soon as she played the last note. “See, you were able to play it. You just have to practice, and have faith and patience. Who knows, one day, you'll become a very famous pianist.” he said. Hannah smiled sadly, and lowered her head. “It's exactly my dream... but after the accident, I have to let go of that dream...” she said in a low voice. Arron took her hand, and squeezed it. “I'll help you make that dream come true again...” he said. “I promise you that, Hannah...”
--
Christopher found her sister sitting at the bench. He walked towards her, and placed the bouquet of flowers he was holding onto her lap. “Who are you?” Hannah asked. Christopher knelt down in front of her, staring into his sister's confused face. It was breaking his heart seeing Hannah like this. His sister is once a cheerful lady, who always have the reason to smile. Now, all he could see in her face is anger. Her eyes used to be filled with emotions, but now it was looked blank. She had the most beautiful eyes in their family, and now her eyes are gone, and it was all his fault.
He didn't utter a word at her to let her know his presence. At this time, he knows his sister hated him so much. If only he wasn't stubborn that night, then maybe this wouldn't have happened to her. If only he didn't insist on driving her home form the party after drinking himself to death, then maybe she wouldn't have been blind. It was his fault that his sister's life was shattered, and that she would not be able to fulfill her life long dream. “Who are you?” she called again. Christopher stood up, and left silently. There is no use if he would tell her that it was him, his brother. She would shoo her away anyways. He stood up, and before he walks away from her, he stared into her face.
As he made a few steps, He saw Arron coming up to him. “You must be her brother...” Arron said. Christopher let out a faint smile and nodded his head. “Her only brother.... the one who caused her to be like that...” he said. Then, he walked away, leaving Arron alone. Arron watched Christopher as he leaves, then he looked back at Hannah. “Hannah...” he called as he walked towards her. “Arron... did... did you see the one who gave me these flowers?” she asked. Arron nodded his head. “Yes, he said he is your brother.” he said. At what he said, Hannah fell sad. She took away the flowers from her. Arron sat beside her, and took the flowers at her side. “Lovely flowers. Purple daisies, huh? You must have liked purple daisies a lot...” he commented. Hannah looked away from him. “Chris knows I love purple daisies...” she said softly. “Your brother, he looked sad when I saw him. Did the two of you talked?” he asked. Hannah shook her head. “I didn't realize it was him. He just laid the flowers on my lap, he didn't even answered who he is...” she said. “Did something happened between you and your brother?” Arron asked again. “I despise my brother...” Hannah said in a hurt tone. “He is the reason why I became blind.”
Arron stared at Hannah, and watched her as she shed tears. “Hannah...” he said in a low voice. He took her hand, and held it. “Can't you forgive your brother?” he asked. Hannah shook her head. “Not now. He is the reason why I can no longer play the piano. He is the reason why I am in this goddamn place. How can I forgive him?” she said. “I still believe that everything has its reason... maybe God have better plans for you, that's why He made you blind.” he said. Hannah shook her head again. “If he hadn't got drunk and insisted on driving... if only he didn't forced me to go home with him, then this wouldn't have happened...”
“But all the things that happened, it was an accident, Hannah...”
Arron put the the flowers on Hannah's lap. “No matter what, he is still your brother. You have to forgive him, because as I can see, he regrets what he have done... life is too short to hate someone, especially your own brother. If you will continue to hate him, you might lose him, and you'll end up regretting it.” he said.
--
The next day, Hannah went on her way to the music room to meet Arron. Along her way, she tripped, making her fall flat on the ground. She sat up on the floor, trying to find her walking stick, but it seems to have slid away from him. Not far away from her, Christopher stood before her. Her walking stick landed on his feet. He knelt down, and picked it up. He walked towards his sister, and then helped her up, giving her her walking stick as soon as she gained her balance. “Thank you...” she said softly. Christopher smiled to her. Just like before, he stared at her sister. “Who... who are you?” she asked. Christopher did not utter a word. He turned to leave her sister, when he heard someone call his name. “Christopher!” He looked back, and saw Arron walking to his direction. He looked back, and saw the confused look in his sister's face. “C-chris?” she asked. He looked up at Arron, and saw him smiling at him. Then, he nodded his head, assuring him that it's OK to let her know who she is. “I... I am here...” he said in a low voice. Then she saw him turn into a smile. “Ge...” she called.
Upon hearing her call him, he rushed up to her, and hugged her. “Mei...” he said tearfully. Hannah smiled to herself, and hugged her brother. “Ge...” she said. “I'm sorry... I'm sorry for everything. I'm sorry that I caused you to be like this...” Christopher whispered. He felt his tears falling from his eyes as he looked at her. Hannah reached up to his face. Upon feeling his tears, she wiped it away. “Ge... I'm sorry if I got mad at you... it was all an accident, and it's not your fault...” she said, smiling at him. Christopher cupped her face, and smiled at her. “Hannah...” he whispered. “I'm sorry for hating you. I forgot that you are my only brother, and my best friend. I forgot that if it wasn't for you, I wouldn't have the courage to chase my dreams. I'm sorry if I disappointed you...” she said. “Does this mean that you have forgiven me, that you're not mad at me anymore?” Christopher asked. Hannah smiled at him sweetly, and nodded her head. “I can't stay mad at your forever, right?” she said. Christopher smiled at her again, and gave his sister another hug. He missed her, and this is all he ever wanted.
--
“I'm glad that you have forgiven your brother...” Arron said as he pressed another key of the piano. Hannah smiled as she trailed her fingers on the ivory key. “Thank you for enlightening me...” she said. “I was thinking... I should not blame him for everything. Christopher is my older brother, and my best friend. He was always there, encouraging me in everything I do. He was the one who taught me to play my first note... and convinced me that I can be a great pianist in the future. And besides, I miss him...” she said. Arron looked at her, and smiled. “I know you do. Because I can see it in your eyes...” he said. Hannah got confused with what he said. “What do you mean? I'm blind, and... how.... how can you see it in my eyes?” she asked. “Have you heard of the saying that the eyes are the windows to your soul?” he asked. Hannah slowly nodded her head. “When I look into your eyes, I can see everything that you feel – your frustration, your anger, your happiness, your confusion... even your loneliness. There are times that I see you smiling, but your eyes says otherwise...” he explained. Hannah let out a faint smile. “So, I guess I have a very expressive eyes. I'm used to hiding them behind my eye glasses...” she said. Arron smiled and nodded his head. “You have a very expressive eyes... and the most beautiful pair of eyes I have seen in my entire life...” he said.
Hannah turned to his direction, and Arron could only stare at her confused face. He saw her cheeks turn pink. Then, he smiled to himself He love seeing her like this. “What are you saying? My eyes aren't pretty...” she said nervously. “I know you'd say that. Maybe for you, it's not... but for me it is... Just by looking into your eyes, I feel like being lost in it forever...” he said. She felt her heart skip a beat. She turned away from him, not wanting him to see her blush even more. “Aiyo, stop it.” she said. “And I thought you're going to teach me to play the piano today? Why are you saying nonsense things?” she asked. “Why should I teach you? You already know how to play.” Arron said. Hannah turned to him again, and saw the confusion written across her face. “But... but I'm not yet that good...” she said. “I've taught you were the keys are. I bet you already know it by heart. What you have to do now is play the piano using your heart...” he said. “So...” he continued. “Can you play my favorite song?” Hannah smiled and nodded her head. “As long as you sing it, I will play your song.” she said.
--
Hannah walked through the lobby alone, when she heard a voice calling her. “Hannah jie!” She easily recognized it as Rosemarie's voice. “Rosemarie?” she called. She felt the little girl come up to her. “Isn't it supposed to be your music class today?” she asked. “It is, jie... but Arron ge is not around. I heard he's sick...” the girl said. She could sense the sadness in the girl's tone. She knelt down, and tried to cheer her up. “Don't worry, Arron ge will be fine. He'll be here tomorrow...” she said. She felt Rosemarie shaking her head. “You don't understand, jie... when Arron ge gets sick, he'll be gone for a long time. If he's gone for a long time, then it means that we won't have music classes. All of us here are looking forward to his class...” she said in a sad tone. She began to be worried about her friend. Why would he be gone for a long time? Suddenly, she felt a pain her heart a the thought of not being able to see Arron for days. Her heart ache at the thought that he will be gone for good, and that she will not be able to be with him ever again. She was starting to miss him already.
Then, Hannah turn to smile at Rosemarie. “How about this....” she said. “What if I take over Arron ge's class? I can teach you and your classmates how to play the piano...” she said. “Really?” Rosemarie asked happily. Hannah smiled, and nodded her head. “Yay! Thanks Hannah jie!”
--
Days passed by, and Hannah still have no news about Arron. From what she heard, he's still sick, and it will take a long time for him to come back to the center. Somehow, she felt in her heart that she was starting to miss him. She missed having deep conversations with him. She missed sitting with him in front of the piano, and playing a tune with him. She missed it when he teaches her to play the piano, and ask him to play his favorite tune. She missed his gentle voice, and his warm touch. She missed him.
It was another lonely afternoon when she passed by the music room. She heard someone playing a tune, so she stopped and listened to it. “Arron?” she thought to herself. Then, she heard a familiar voice sing.
Ti amo Ti quiero
每一天都要愛上你 (měi yī tiān dōu yào ài shàng nǐ) (I want be in love with you everyday)
想著你 沉入夢境 (xiǎng zhe nǐ chéng rù mèng jìng)(Sinking into a dream thinking of you)
一張眼 一清醒 (yī zhāng yǎn yī qīng xǐng) (As soon as I open my eyes and awaken)
第一個想到又是你 (dì yī ge xiǎng dào yòu shì nǐ) (The first thing I think of is you)
Sarang Hae, And I love you
我每天都要愛上你 (wǒ měi tiān dōu yào ài shàng nǐ) (I want to be in love with you everyday)
少一天 就會遺憾 (shǎo yī tiān jiù huì yí hàn) (One less day would be a regret)
陪著你的光陰 (péi zhe nǐ de guāng yīn) (Spending time with you)
這樣都不算蹉跎 (zhè yàng dōu bú suàn cuō tuó) (Like this is not a waste)
She listened to his sad song, and felt a tear from her eye. Arron's back, and she's happy. She slowly opened the door, and as the door opened, Arron looked at her. “Hannah...” he called in a soft voice. He stood up, and slowly walked up to her. “Arron... you're back...” she whispered. She immediately rushed up to him, and hugged him tight. Then, she cried. Arron stroked her head. “Ssshhh... don't cry now... I'm here...” he whispered to her. Hannah closed her eyes as she cried. She thought she was going to lose him. She thought that he will never come back for her. But he's here with her now. “I... I thought you left me... I... I'm scared to lose you, Arron...” she said. Arron hugged her, as he continued to stroke her hair. “Don't worry, Hannah... I'm here now. I will never ever leave you, I promise you that...” he said.
He felt a lump in his throat after saying those words to Hannah. He was lying to her, when he knew that a day will come that he will leave Hannah for good. His lips quiver, and then a tear rolled from his own eyes. “I will be here for you, no matter what...” he said. He wished in his heart that he could keep that promise to her, he wished that he could be by her side until that day that she will have her confidence back again, but it wouldn't be possible anymore. He looked down at Hannah, and cupped her chin. She looked into her eyes, and smiled sadly to himself. He missed staring into her big black orbs. He missed seeing her smile happily. He leaned to her forehead, and continued to stare at her. He love this girl. He love her the moment he laid his eyes on her. When he saw how broken she is the first time he saw her, he felt the urge to help her out, to bring back her confidence and go back to her old self. He could see her progress, but it's too bad that he will not be here long enough to see her play on stage again.
He love her. If he could ask God, he would ask for more time to be with Hannah. He wanted to tell her everything that's inside his heart. He wanted to grow old with her, and be her eyes. He wants to be the source of her courage and confidence. He wanted to be her everything. But with his condition, he knows that wouldn't happen anymore.
--
They sat in front of the piano. She leaned over his shoulder, as he played a song. 'That's beautiful...” Hannah said as soon as Arron is through. “I have a confession to make...” he said. Then, he looked at her and smiled. “I was able to finish that song because of you...” he said. He saw her lips curve into a smile. “Because of me?” she asked. She felt him nod his head. “Before you came into my life, I was trying to make this song. But each time I press the keys, the note seems not to fit the music I'm trying to create...” he sad. Hannah smiled at him, and let out a faint laugh. “So, can I say that this is my song?” she asked. “Yes. It's your song...” Arron said.
Hannah turned away from him. Arron gazed at her, and then held her hand. “It's your song. It's the tune that keeps on playing on my mind since the day I saw you. As long as you hear it, it means that I will always be by your side.” he said. Hannah felt a pain in her heart. It's as if she will lose Arron any time soon. At that thought, she wanted to cry. She doesn't want Arron to leave her, for she have learned to depend on him. “You're not leaving me, right?” she asked in a cracked voice. “What.... what if one day... What if one day I have to leave you...” he asked. Hannah turned to him, and saw the fury in her eyes Her eyes were already filled with tears. “You promised me...” she said. “You said you will never leave me. You promised me!” she shouted at him.
Arron reached for her, and cupped her cheeks with the palm of his hand. He stared sadly on her face. “Hannah, there will come a time that the people important to you will have to leave you. Not because they get tired of you, but because of circumstances. If I ever leave you, it's not because I want to, but I am left with no choice but to go. If I ever leave you, you have to stay strong. You have to keep on smiling, and be confident. I may not be with you, physically, but I will be with you in your memories.” he said softly. Then, he wiped the tears in her eyes. “I don't want to leave you....” he thought. “I wish God would hear my prayers, so that I can be with you forever...” he thought.
“Arron, I'm scared...” Hannah said. “I'm scared if you leave me...” she said softly. Arron felt the tears falling from his eyes again. “Don't be scared, Hannah. Put me in your heart, and I will always be with you. As long as you remember me, I will be with you.” he said. “You were my only friend... if... if you leave me, I will be alone again...” she whispered. Arron shook his head. “You won't be alone anymore. You are not alone. You have your parents, you have a brother... you are a sweet and gentle girl, I know one day you will gain friends who will treasure you the most. Who knows, you might find someone who will love you...” he said. He pulled her closer to him, and closed his eyes. He made a silent prayer for the girl in his arm. “Dear God...” he prayed silently. “If I can't be with her, and she can't be with me... please give her someone who can love her as much as I do...”
--
Hannah sat in front of the piano, as she waited for Arron to come. Then, she felt someone put a bouquet of flowers on her lap. “Chris?” she called. Then, she heard a familiar voice laugh. “Can only Chris give your purple daisies?” Arron asked. She turned into a smile as she heard his voice. “Arron!” she said. She ran her fingers through the petals, and smiled to herself. “I bet these flowers are beautiful.” she said. Arron smiled, and nodded her head. “They are. They're as beautiful as you.” Arron said. Hannah shook her head, and smiled at him. “I'm not pretty...” she said. Arron smiled at her, and shook his head. “You are beautiful, Hannah. You're beautiful inside and out.” he said. “I don't think I am...” she said. “You have to believe in yourself, Hannah. You are beautiful, and you will always be beautiful. You had the prettiest pair of eyes I have seen, the softest hands I have ever touched. You have the most beautiful and the most gentle voice I have ever heard.” he said.
She could feel herself blushing again. “You're flattering me...” she said shyly. “I'm only telling the truth.” he answered. “Why is it that you always see the good side in everything?” Hannah asked. “Why shouldn't I? There are a lot of beautiful and good things in this world, that none of us ever appreciated, Like the sound of the rain when it falls, the dried maple leaf being flown away by the wind, the butterflies that lands on small flowers, the children's laughter... a lot of things. Those little and simple things, I appreciate them the most. We should, because when they're all gone, we might never see, hear or feel it ever again.” he said. Hannah stared at him as he speaks. Then, she smiled at him again. “I wish I could see the world through your eyes, so I could see how beautiful it is...” she said. “I have never appreciated those little things when I still have my sight. I promise, when the day comes that I will be able to see again, I will do my best to see the beauty in everything...” she said. Arron put his arm around her, and smiled at her. “I know one day, you will be able to see again. You just have to trust in God.” he said. Hannah nodded her head, and then she leaned on his shoulder.
Arron smiled as she looked at the girl he loves. As he looked away, he felt a pain in his chest. He swallowed hard, trying to catch his breath, but the pain he is feeling is too strong that he couldn't even breathe. Hannah felt something was wrong with Arron. She looked up with him worriedly. “Arron, is there anything wrong?” she asked. Arron shook his head. He didn't want to worry her even more. “I... I'm OK...” he tried to speak. He clutched his fest, and put it on his chest. He was hoping that it would make it better, but he could still feel the pain in his heart. Hannah knows that he's lying. She put her arms on his back, and rubbed it. “Arron...” she called. Her tears were falling again. She felt helpless for not being able to help her friend. Arron tried to stand up, but his knees became weak that he wasn't able to balance himself. Then, he fell on the floor. Hannah stood up, and rushed to Arron's side. “Arron!” she cried. Arron was trying his best to be strong, but as his breath becomes slower and the pain he's feeling became stronger, he felt even more weaker. “Hannah...” he managed to mutter. “Tell me what's wrong!” she panicked. “Tell me what I can do to help you... please, Arron...tell me what to do... don't do this to me!” she shouted at him. Her tears cascaded endlessly in her eyes. Arron did not speak anymore. Before he could speak again, he lost his consciousness. He laid helplessly on the floor. “Arron!” Hannah shouted in panic. She shook him to wake him up, but he did not respond to her. “Help!” she shouted. “Help us! Please!” she shouted again. She placed Arron's head on her lap, and then cried as she touched his face. “Arron, hang on... don't leave me, please...” she whispered to him. Then, she began to cry for help again. “Help! Anyone! Help us!”
--
Hannah sat on the waiting room of the hospital. It has been three hours since they rushed him to the hospital, and she have not heard from anyone, including Arron's parents. “Mei...” she heard a familiar voice call. It was her brother, Christopher. “Ge...” she called. She felt him sat beside him. “Have you heard anything about him? What happened to him? Is Arron going to be OK?” she asked. Christopher looked away from his sister, trying his best not to cry. “Ge... how is Arron?” she asked again. “Mei... I... I think it would... be... better if... if you see him first...” he said. He looked back at her, and saw her face lighten up. Just seeing her smile this way made him confused whether to tell her the truth about Arron or not. “I can see him?” she asked. Christopher nodded his head. “You can see him...” he said.
Christopher led her to Arron's room. Somehow, he was thankful that his sister is blind, for she wouldn't have to see him in his weak state. He only learned Arron's condition a while ago, before he approached his sister. Since he was young, he had a weak heart. Though he had an operation in the past, it didn't made his condition better. His previous attack before this last one almost took his life, but he was a strong guy who fought death. He have been warned before that his next seizure maybe fatal, and the doctors were right. He had another seizure while he's with Hannah, and there's nothing they can do for him now.
Arron slowly opened his eyes, and saw Hannah standing by his bed. He let out a weak smile. “Hannah...” she called. Hannah knelt beside him, and held his hand. “Arron...” she said, smiling at him. “You worried me. You worried me a lot...” she said. “I'm sorry, Hannah...” he answered in a weak tone. He let go of her hand, and then caressed her cheek. He knows he doesn't have much time left in this world, and he wanted to embed in his memories the face of the girl he loves. “Remember when I asked you, what if one day, I will have to leave you?” he asked. Hannah paused, and then she nodded her head. “I know I promised to be always by your side... that I will never leave you. I... I'm sorry... if I... I have to break that promise I made to you...” he said weakly. Hannah felt the tears beginning to well up from her eyes again. “Arron... you... you're not going to leave me. The doctors could do something for you...” she said. Arron gently shook his head. “They did their best... and... and I don't want to burden... anyone else... God... He... He's already calling... me... to be... your angel...” he said.
She bit her lips as she let the tears fall from her eyes. “Arron, don't say that. Be strong... you always say that to me. Why can't you be strong now?” she asked him. “I am, Hannah... the mere fact... that... I'm still... here... with you...” He closed his eyes, and then held on tight to Hannah. “When I'm gone... promise me... promise me you... you will be... a strong girl... promise... me... promise me.... you'll have faith in everything... promise me... you will... play... piano... with all your... heart... promise... me... you will remember... my song for you... and that... I... will... always... be in... your... heart...” he said. Hannah nodded her head. “I promise you that, Arron...” she said.
He let out another weak smile. “I thank God for... letting me meet you... my... life... feels complete... now that you're in... my life...” he said weakly. “Thank you for everything, Arron... thank you for putting up with me all these time. Thank you for teaching me to play the piano again, and for making me feel confident....” she said tearfully. Arron just nodded his head. “I love you, Hannah... I'll always will...” he said Then, his head hung low. Hannah felt his hand fell from her grasp.
Finally, Arron is gone.
Her tears cascaded her eyes with that realization. “Arron...” she cried. “I love you too, Arron... can you hear me? I love you too...” she cried. She took his hand, and rested her cheek on his palm. “I love you too... “ she whispered to him. She was hoping that somehow, Arron was able to hear what she have said.
--
A year after her accident, and three months after Arron's death. Incidentally, it was also Valentine's day.
“Mei...” Christopher called from her room. He walked inside her room, only to find his sister gone. He sighed, and smiled to himself, and then he shook his head. “That sister of mine...” he thought. Three days ago, Hannah was sent to the hospital for her eye transplant. After Arron's death, she learned that he donated his eyes for her. It was fate, for after several tests, it was found out that his eyes were compatible to hers. She considered it as the most beautiful gift that she received from the man she loves.
He looked up to the ceiling, and sighed. “Arron, that stubborn sister of mine is gone again... can you watch over her?” he said. Then, he laughed. He knows exactly where his sister is, but he decided not to follow her. She needed this time alone. He knows that his sister have been missing Arron again, and the only way for her to ease herself, is to play his song on the piano.
--
Danson looked back, and he tried his best to run away. Though he's still weak, he did his best to get out of his room, and hopefully, to escape from the hospital. When he looked in front of him, he saw a girl who fell on the floor. He immediately rushed up to her, and helped her up. “Are you OK?” he asked. The girl turned to him, and smiled. He saw that her eyes were bandaged, and he guessed that she had an operation. “I'm OK...” she replied. As he looked at her smiling face, he suddenly felt mesmerized by her. Maybe without the bandage on her eyes, he bet she's even more prettier. “Wei... I guess you came from an operation. Why are you wandering around the hospital?” he asked. “You're also a patient here... why are you wandering around as well?” she asked him back. Danson gave the girl a confused look. “How did you know?” he asked. “I felt your tag. I have one too!” she said gleefully, showing him her tag. Danson looked at his arm, and laughed at seeing his tag. “You got me there... but you see, you have to go back to your room and rest, or else you will not be able to see ever again.” he said. She just nodded her head. “It's OK. I'm used to being blind. I went to the music room because I'm starting to miss my friend again... so I went inside and played his favorite song.” she said.
Danson smiled sadly at her. “I miss my friend as well, so I want to escape here...” he said sadly. “What do you mean?” she asked. Danson shook his head. “Nothing...” he answered. “If you miss your friend, you can call him, or her, and ask them to see you here... If you get out of the hospital without the doctor's permission, you'll only make your condition worse. So go back to your room, and rest, OK?” she said. Danson nodded her head. “I will...” She smiled happily at him. “I'll go back first. When the doctors take these bandages out, I hope to see you in person...” she said. Then, the girl left him. As soon as she's gone, Danson noticed a white handkerchief lying on the floor. He picked it up, and saw a name embroidered on it. “Hannah...” he muttered. He looked at the girl's direction, and he was guessing that the handkerchief belongs to her. “I have a strong feeling we'll see each other again... I'll keep this for you till the day we meet again...”
Labels: 99 Paper Cranes, fan fic, special chapter
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