Chapter 52 – Letting GoHe turned to his side and closed his eyes to sleep. Uncomfortable with his position, he turned to his other side, but he still felt uncomfortable. He sat up on his bed, and then stared outside the window. “How are you, Kit?” he thought. “Maybe by now, you're already in your deep slumber. Your tired body is getting the rest it needed, and your mind might have been relaxed by now...” He stood up from his bed and looked to his window. Just like the other night, she have put down the blinds. “You don't want me to watch you sleep anymore, huh? Do you really hate me that much, that even this little pleasure I get from watching over you, you're taking it away from me?” he said. He sighed as he sat by the window. “But even if your blinds are down, I will still watch over you... I may not see you as you sleep, and it doesn't matter. All I want to do is do this little things that I used to do when we were still best friends...” he said. He smiled to himself as he leaned over the window. He stared at her window again, imagining how she looked like as she sleeps. Before he knew it, his eyelids finally became heavy, and he drifted off to dreamland.
The next morning, Kit was getting ready for school. As soon as she was finished dressing up, she put up the blinds of her window. She was surprised to see Calvin leaning on his window, sleeping peacefully and smiling to himself. “Calvin...” she said in a low voice. “I wonder what it is that you're dreaming of... that you're smiling like this. Are you dreaming of Joy? Are you dreaming that you are with her now? Or, are you dreaming of me, in the same way that I have dreamed of you each night?” she thought. Through the glass, she traced his face using her finger. “I miss you... I miss you so much and it's hurting me. Why can't I learn to let you go? Why is my heart too stubborn, that I'm still loving you? We can never be together, not anymore... but inside my heart, there is still small hope for us. I could not longer hold on to that small hope...” she said. She turned her back, and left the room. As she closed the door behind her, Calvin opened his eyes to wake up. He looked at her room, and found it already empty.
--
The bell rang, and Kit walked up to her locker. As she stopped before it, she noticed a peach rose hanging by it. She took the rose, and buried her nose on it for a while. She looked around, hoping to find the person who left it. She sighed, and then she opened her locker. Inside her locker, she saw a rolled pink paper with pink ribbons tied around it. She took it, and began to read its contents.
“Always remember that if a person loved you once, even after a hundred years, there will still be
some of that love left... no matter how much that person denies it...”
From one corner, Calvin watched Kit as she read his love note. He smiled to himself, happy to see that Kit got his little gift. “I think I saw this scene a few months ago...” he heard someone say. He looked back, and saw Chun standing behind him. “Now, you're the peach rose guy. Why are you doing this, Calvin?” he asked. Calvin looked at him and smiled. “She left those paper cranes for me to let me know in her own little ways that he loves me. I feel the same way for her, and this is the way I've thought up to let her know that I love her too...” Calvin said. “Aren't you worried?”
“Worried about what?”
“That Kit would find out?”
Calvin shook his head. “If she found out, if she got mad after knowing it's me, I'll accept it.” he said. “But what is Joy found out? You said you don't want to hurt her? With you doing these things, you are hurting her without you knowing it. You're just like Kit... you're with Joy, and yet you are secretly loving your ex-best friend.” Chun said. Calvin fell silent, and he lowered his head upon hearing what Chun said. “Cal...” Chun said as he put his hand on his shoulder. “You have to make your choice sooner or later. Is it going to be Kit, or is it going to be Joy? Who's going to stay, and who have to leave? Because if you don't, you'll only break their hearts. Most of all, they might all end up leaving you alone. You know how painful that is...” Calvin just looked at his friend. He feels confused with his own feelings. He looked at Kit, and at her sight, his heart is telling him to choose her. His mind was telling him to stay with Joy to avoid further complications. “Cal... making a decision is easy. Ever since then, you have loved Kit. If you choose her, the two of you will be happy. If you choose Joy, you save her from another heart ache, but you'll be breaking your own heart. I know you are not selfish, and I know you are considerate of other people's feelings, but you have to consider your own happiness. If Kit makes you happy, choose her. If Joy does, stay with her. It's all up to you...” Chun said. “I want to choose her, Chun...” Calvin said. “But I don't think she could also decided for us. Not now... she's still hurting, and I can't force her to be with me.” He turned her eyes to the girl standing in front of her locker. She was heartbreakingly beautiful with that smile on her face. He wanted so much to go near her, and hold her, but he have to stop himself from doing so. All he can do for now is watch her from afar.
--
“Kit...” she heard someone call her. She looked to her side, and saw Jiro standing beside him. Kit looked away from him, avoiding his eyes. Jiro sighed, and then he sat beside her at the waiting shed. “Can we talk?” Jiro asked. Kit just shook her head. Jiro fell silent as he remained sitting beside her. He looked at her, and seeing how broken she is just breaks his heart. He promised to her before that he will never make her cry, that he will never leave her and that he will never hurt her. Because of what Joy told him about Kit's true feelings for Calvin, he forgot that promise and hurt her. “I'm sorry...” he said in a low voice. “I know you could never forgive me because of what I did. But you hurt me as well. You hurt me, because you fell in love with Calvin. I could not accept it... that he's my rival when it comes to your love. I was so scared that I would lose you to him... I never thought that all this time, you have chosen me. I forgot it was me that you first loved, and not him. You chose to be by my side... but I was too angry that time... that I -”
“That you cheated on me. That you decided to have an affair with Celestine just to get back at me?” Kit said in a hurt tone. Jiro lowered his head, and guiltily nodded his head. “I was hurt, Jiro. I was. But I know I've been hurting you because I could not love you in the same way that I loved Calvin. But I tried... God knows I tried. I did my best to make you happy. I did my best not to break my heart. Before Calvin left me, I decided to give you my all. I gave you all my love, Jiro. I chose to forget him because of you. I even fought for you... during those times that he doesn't approved of you and he wanted me to keep my distance from you, I fought for you... because I love you. You were the only thing left that's keeping me whole, but you chose to break my heart. Now, all that I'm left are these small pieces of me, and I know I could not make myself whole again.” Kit said. Jiro looked up at her, and aside from the tears in her eyes, she could see her anger and her hurt. “I know, my sorry is not enough. I could not even forgive myself for hurting you... I know you will never give me another chance... but I want you to know that I love you... I really do. And in that short time that we were together, I knew that you loved me to. You made me feel that I'm special, that I'm the luckiest man alive because you chose me. I hope... I hope that you do feel the same way too...” he said. Jiro took her hand, and then held it. “I hope one day, you could forgive me for breaking your heart. I didn't want this to end this way... but it already did. I'm so sorry, Tin... I'm sorry for the past mistakes I've made...” he said in a low voice. “I also hope you could forgive me if my love is not enough. One day, I can forgive you for this... maybe that would happen if I learned to forgive myself for ruining everything. I hope you understand...” she said. Jiro nodded his head. He reached for her face and cupped her cheeks. For one last time, he kissed Kit on the forehead. He looked at her sadly, and then wiped the tear on her face. “I guess this is goodbye...” he said. Kit nodded her head. “Take care of yourself always, Tin. No matter what happens, I'll always be here for you, waiting for your return. I love you... and I will continue to love you for the rest of my life.” He released her, and then he stood up. Kit watched him as he walked away from him, and as she watches him, the tears couldn't help but fall from her eyes. “I never thought that I'd come to see the day, the day that I learned to let go of the person I loved. The same person who made me smile. The same person who made me believe that everything was real. The same person who set plans for us. The same person whom I thought would love me forever. That person is gone now and along with that person was the love I gave. Finally, its over...” she thought as she wiped the tears from her eyes.
--
Kit was walking through the busy pavement, thinking about her last conversation with Jiro. They finally said goodbye, and she had her closure with him. Somehow, it felt good, but the fact still remains that although she and Jiro have ended their issues, she have other things to fix by herself – Joy and Calvin. She doesn't know if Joy could ever forgive her for breaking her heart. She doesn't know if Calvin will forgive her for her lies. Most of all, she doesn't know if she could forgive herself that easily. She stopped and looked at the other side of the street. She waited for the traffic light to turn red so that she could cross the street. As she's waiting, she saw two kids at the other side – a boy and a girl. She could see the little girl smiling at the little boy as the little boy took her hand. The light turn red, and the cars stopped. She remained unmoved as she continued to watch those children. “Calvin were once like that...” she thought. “But now... I don't think we could go back to the way we were...” She looked up and realized that the light is still red, and she had to cross the street. As she made a few steps, the lights changes, and being deep in her thought, she didn't realize that there was a speeding car before her. She heard a loud honk. She looked back, and saw the speeding car. Scared, she was unable to move from her place. Before the car could hit her, she felt someone pull her to safety.
“You scared me...” she heard someone say. She felt being awaken from a dream, and she realized that an arm was wrapped around her body protectively. She looked up, and saw Calvin worriedly looking at her. “Calvin...” she whispered. Calvin just stared at her. “I thought I'm going to lose you, Kit... I can't lose you... not anymore...” he said. Kit closed her eyes, and buried her face on his chest. “Calvin...” she said in a low voice. As she looked up, she realized that it was not Calvin that was holding her, but Danson. “What got into you? You almost got yourself killed!” Danson said worriedly at her. Kit looked at him, confused at what's happening. She thought she saw Calvin save her, but it was Danson who's right in front of her. Kit shook her head, and as she looked up at Danson, she smiled. “I'm sorry...” she said in a low voice. “I'm so sorry... I... I thought you were Calvin... I thought he was the one who saved me... but I was wrong. I don't think he would save me... I don't think he would come for me anymore...” she said. Danson could see the sadness in her face, and her sadness is wrenching his heart. “Kit...” he said in a low voice. Kit then gave him a sad smile. “I'm OK, Danson... I'm going to be OK. Maybe it will take a lot of getting used too, but I'm getting there. I know I am...” she said. She buried her face again on his chest, and let the tears fall from her eyes. As for Danson, he could only give her a warm, comforting embrace.
--
Danson took Kit home, and as they got home, they saw an unfamiliar car parked outside her home. “Who's car is that?” Danson asked, pointing at the car. Kit looked at him, and shrugged her shoulder. As they entered the gate, her little Annie came rushing to her. “Kit jie!” Annie shouted. Kit smiled at her, and then she carried Annie. “Jie, someone's waiting for you. A very handsome friend of yours...” Annie said. Kit gave her sister a confused look. “Who?” she asked. “Me...” she heard someone say. Kit and Danson looked up, and saw Mike walking up to him. “Mike He?” Danson asked in a surprised tone. Mike smiled at Danson and nodded his head. Kit was as surprised as Danson when she saw him. “M-mike? I... I thought you're still in Europe with Trixie?” Kit asked. Mike shook his head. “I decided to come home earlier than expected. I need to fix some things so that I could go back to school this Fall.” he explained.
Mike looked at Kit, and saw that something have changed in her. The once brave and cheerful girl he knew is now gone. All he could see now is a sad and weak girl. Something have taken the life away from her. “What happened to Kit? Was it because of what I did in the past?” Mike thought. “Hey...” he heard Danson say. “Why don't we all go inside so that we could catch up? I know Mike here has a lot of things to tell us about his trip.” Mike smiled at him and nodded his head.
While inside the den, Mike was observing Kit as they were talking about his vacation. He ntoiced the she became more quiet, and she only let out a faint smile. Kit have really changed, and he didn't know if it's of the trauma he caused her, or because of other things. “I'll go get us some more drinks...” Kit said, excusing herself. Mike watched Kit as she walked towards the kitchen. “What happened to her?” he asked, not taking his eyes off her. “A lot of things happened while you're gone, Mike. I know what you're thinking. It's not about that mistake you did. Something happened that made her like that...” Danson explained. Mike looked at him, confused with what's happening. “Let's just say someone very dear to her broke her heart. Someone, whom we never thought would hurt her....” Danson said. “Calvin...” Mike muttered. Danson was surprised at what he said. “Whoa... you're fast! How... how did you know?” he asked. “How can I not know, Danson. Calvin is her best friend. He protects her in the same way a bear protects its cubs. He always worries about her... remember, you guy beat the hell out of me when I put Kit in danger? I know how important Calvin is to Kit... so if she loses Calvin, it would really break her heart...” he said. Danson sighed, as he leaned on the couch. “I don't know how to start to tell you everything. All I can say is that because of what happened... just look at her. She's broken... I don't think anyone could mend her heart now...” he said. Mike looked at him and shook his head. “You're wrong, Danson. There is only one person, aside from herself, that can help her pick up her broken pieces. Sadly, it's the same person who broke her heart...” he said.
--
The next day, Kit saw another peach rose on her locker. She took it, and as she opened her locker, she saw another note. “I have loved you for so long, but I'm too scared to admit it. I love looking at you from afar even if you didn't recognize me, I love your cute smile, I love that sound of your caring voice, I love you even when you're mad, I even love you when you're wasted... I love everything about you... Loving you silently is the only thing I can do for now. Sooner or later, when I found the courage, I'll show myself and confess my love for you. Right now, I want to care and love you from afar, because I know your heart has been broken, and not ready to give love a chance...” After reading the note, Kit looked around her. She felt as if someone is watching her, and she have a feeling that it's the same person who left her the note.
“Kit...” she heard someone say. She looked back, and saw Danson and Mike together. “Hey, guy!” she said, forcing a smile. “Hey, Kit. We're going to grab some snacks at the cafe, I insist that you go with us.” Mike said. Kit just laughed at him. “You're still bossy, Mike He. OK, I'll go with you guys...” she said. Mike smiled at Kit and then put his arm around her. As they were about to leave, they saw Calvin standing before them. He eyed at Mike, and Mike could see the fury in his eyes. “Calvin Chen...” he said as he smirked at him. “What are you doing here, Mike He?” Calvin asked in an angry tone. “Why, don't I have the right to go back here in Taiwan and hang out with my friends?
“Kit is and never was your friend.”
“She is now.”
“Take your filthy arms around her.”
“And why should I?”
“Because I said so.”
Mike looked away from him. He scratched his chin, as if thinking. “Hmmm... how about a no?” he snapped at him. Calvin clenched his fist, and was about to attack him, when Kit blocked his way. “Look Calvin...” Kit said to him. “Whether you like it or not, Mike is also my friend. And besides, why should you care? You already ended our friendship, right?” Kit said to him. Calvin was taken aback by what Kit said. “Kit...” he said in a low voice. “Maybe Mike did something bad to me back then, but he apologize to me for hurting me. While you, you didn't even gave me the chance to explain. You know what, Mike is a better friend than you, Calvin.” she said. She looked at Mike, and then held on to his arm. “Let's go. I don't want to deal with this guy anymore.” she said, glaring at Calvin. Calvin could only watch Kit as they leave. Calvin then looked at Danson, who was walking behind the two. “You know, Calvin...” Danson said. “It's not your job anymore to worry about her. After all, you have decided to leave her...”
--
“Ms. Trixie Yan”
Trixie took her shades off, and took her passport from the lady. She clutched her luggage, and walked towards the airport's exit. “It's good to be back...” she thought. She spent the last few months touring the world with her friends, and with her ex-boyfriend, Mike. It was fun, though. She was able to relax and enjoy herself. She took the trip with her friends to get her mind off her breakup with Calvin. Mike has been with her, trying to cheer her up and helping her to move on. Even with her friends around her during the trip, she still could not take her mind off Calvin. As each day passes, she loves Calvin more, and she longs to see him.
Now, she's back in Taiwan. Mike have came home earlier than expected because of their breakup. He could not accept that despite all of his efforts, Trixie still loved Calvin. Now that she's back home, she will do her best to have Calvin once again. She'll do everything to get him back, even if it means hurting other people...
Labels: 99 Paper Cranes, fan fic
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