The Story Angel

Red Eye

2010-10-30T09:14:00.000-07:00

Red Eyes

It was midnight.

The wind blew violently. The branches of a tree nearby was swaying with the strong wind, making a knocking sound by the window. With those said, Aaron covered himself with a blanket, trying his best not to be scared.

It was the night before the Halloween, and here he is, lying on his bed, scaring the hell out of himself because of those scary thoughts. Stupid Chun for making him watch those gory movies the night before. Stupid Calvin for making him watch those horror flicks that afternoon. Stupid Jiro and Danson for telling him those scary ghosts stories before he went to bed. And stupid him for being such a scaredy cat.
He could hear footsteps by the hall. He chose to ignore it, knowing that it might be Chessie, their assistant. Chessie had this habit of going out of her room at midnight to check on them. But then, he realized that Chessie is out on vacation.

“Shit!” he thought. It couldn’t be Chun, he thought. Chun flew back to Brunei that afternoon. Danson and Jiro were partying again at a bar somewhere. Calvin had a date with Hebe, whom he finally convinced to go out with him. He closed his eyes tightly, and forced himself to sleep so that he could ignore the footsteps. But then, the footsteps became louder. The wind became much stronger. And the branch from the tree is knocking down his window. “Damn it! Don’t scare me, whichever supernatural being you are!” he thought.

He sat up on his bed, and looked at his door. He could see the knob being turned, as if someone is opening it. “Damn you, ghost! I should have gone home tonight instead of being home alone in this apartment!” he thought. The door slowly creaked open. “No… don’t hurt me! Take everything you want, just don’t hurt me!” he said in a scared voice. The door finally opened. A girl whose face is covered with her long hair, came in. She is clad in white dress. Then, she walked up to him. “No… don’t take me… I’m a good boy…” he said as if he was crying. But the girl did not heed his plea. He certainly heard about the ghost in this house. Jiro told him about the girl whom he sees roaming the house at this time (he had a third eye). “No… don’t… please…” Aaron pleaded again. Still, no reply from the girl.

The girl came up to her really close. He moved back from his bed, till he fell from it. He crawled back, till there was nowhere else to hide. “No!” He shouted, shielding himself from her. The girl moved her face close to her, and he saw how red her eyes are. “Sadako, no! I still have six days left since I watched your video!” Aaron shouted. He closed his eyes, and made a cross position of his arms.
“Aaron?” a scary voice said. “No! Please!” he cried. “Aaron…” she said in yet another scary voice. “Take all that you want, just don’t kill me!” Aaron said. “Aaron… can I borrow your eye drop?” she asked. Aaron got confused. He opened his eyes, and saw Chessie laughing at him.

Say That You Love Me - Chapter 12

2010-10-09T11:07:00.000-07:00

I Need You

Your hug
Your touch
Your smile
Your tears
Your breath
Your look
Everything about you...
I can't keep my heart from being silent...

--

“I miss you so much that it hurts.”

He walked up to her, and gave her a hug. As he touched her body, a lump was formed on her throat. The tears involuntarily fell from her eyes. “All I wanted is to find time with my best friend... and... and you can't give that to me. Why does he have to take you away from me? Why did you have to forget me, Ella?” he asked. She opened her mouth to speak, but she felt too weak to even answer.

She wanted to say that she didn't forget him.
He was the one who forgot.
She wanted to say that she didn't let him take her away from him.
She let her feelings take herself away from her best friend.
She wanted to say that she wanted to take back the lost time with him.
He was to busy to even find time for her.
She wanted to say that she miss him too, and it hurts more than he feels.
But it will only give way to what her heart truly feels.

Chun released her, and she immediately turned her back on him, so that he won't see the tear in her eyes. And she successfully hid those tears from him. “This is not a good time to be mushy, Chun. Finals are coming soon, and I'm really busy right now.” she said in a stern voice. His shoulder slumped upon hearing how emotionless she is towards him now. Before, when they have not seen each other even for a day, she would run up to him, give him a bear hug, and tell him how much she missed him. Now, the Ella before her seems not to care about him anymore. “Ella...” he said in a low voice.

She wiped the tears from her eyes, and faced him again. This time, her face seemed serious, as if masking how she truly feels. “Aren't you supposed to be working on your grades as well? How can you get in to that university and take the same major as me? You know that the standards at St. Thomas University is so high, especially at the Architecture department. I think you're slacking off.” she said. “Can you for once stop obsessing about college, Ella? We have to talk. We haven't talked for ages.” Chun said in a frustrated tone. “All I can see is that you're spending way too much time with Tiffany and not working on your grades, Chun. I'm not like you. Even though I am dating Lego, it doesn't mean that I'm forgetting my studies.”
“Stop taking about it, Ella. Please...”
“I'm busy. You should be too. Why am I the only one who cares about this whole shit?”
“Ella...”
“Oh, maybe you realized you didn't want to be an architect anymore. It's OK, I understand. Sp, are you gonna take the same major as Tiff now?”
“Ella...”
“Yeah, or maybe you decided not to go that university anymore, huh?”
“Ella! I said stop it!”

He pulled Ella to him, his forehead leaning to hers. His finger silenced her lips. “Didn't you just realize what I just said?” he asked in a low, hurt tone. “I missed you... I missed my best friend... I missed spending after school hours with her. I missed having long talks with her about our day in school... about our dreams, about our crazy thoughts. I wanted to ask her, ' how are you doing?' 'how are you and Lego' 'is Lego treating you good?' 'if he hurt you or make you cry, I will definitely break his neck'. I want to tell her, 'hey, remember that dream house you sketched a few years back? Promise me I'll be the one who'll build it' or 'hey, I saw the cotton candy man a while ago at the park, and I remember how you looked like when you choked on the cotton candy we bought from him back in 3rd grade'.”

She looked into Chun's eyes, and she could see his pain. She felt guilty, because she caused that pain to him. “I... I just want us to talk... that's all. I feel that since you and Lego have been together, you have been neglecting me, not wanting to spend time with me. All I'm asking is just a minute of your time...” he said. She wanted to hug him tight, and say sorry for avoiding him.

“You and Tiffany had a fight, didn't you?” she asked. Chun was surprised at her question, too surprised that he let her go. “What made you think that we fought?” he asked in an angry tone. “Because you need me.”
“I have always needed you!”
“Yeah, you do. When you have problems, I'm the one who always fix it. That's my role in your life, right?”
“Do you really think of me that way? Do you think I always come to you whenever I wanted something from you? How can you think lowly of me?”
“Because all my life, it has always been like that, Chun!”

He stared at her sadly as he brushed his hair with his fingers. “You're right... I've always depended too much on you... especially whenever I have problems. Don't worry, I'll fix this on my own, do that you won't have to worry about me anymore...” he said. Weakly, Chun turned his back on her, and walked away. She could only watch sadly as he walked away. She pushed him away again and she knew it was wrong. She wanted to follow him and apologize, but she can't bring herself to. “I'm so sorry, Chun...” she said softly. “I'm so sorry...”

--

Lego stood at the center of the empty hall. He clutched his back as he looked at his watch, waiting for someone to come. Then, he heard footsteps. He looked by the door, and he saw Chun walking up to me. “What do you want to talk about, that we have to talk here, and not at the classroom?”Lego asked as soon as Chun got near him. Chun took an envelope from his back pocket, and handed it to him. “You dropped this.” he said. Lego looked at the envelope, and was shocked to see that it was hi acceptance letter from Boston University. “Congratulations for passing. So, you're going to stufy there?” Chun asked. Lego sighed, and snatched the letter from his hand. “You read this?” he asked angrily. “I was curious.”

He put the letter inside his bag, and attempted to leave, but Chun stopped him by holding his arm. “Does Ella know?” Chun asked worriedly. “This isn't something that I have to tell her right away.” Lego said. Chun glared at him. “My best friend is your girlfriend...” Chun hissed at him. Lego glared back at him. “That's the point. You are just Ella's best friend. I am her boyfriend, and I will tell her things when I want to tell her too, at the right time, at the right moment. This isn't something that you can interfere with.” Lego said in a matter-of-fact tone. “If it's something that will break Ella's heart, then I have every right to interfere.” Chun replied in a firm tone. Lego could only give him a smirk. “Why do you care? If I hurt her or not... it's none of your business... if I stay and be with her, or leave her and study abroad, you don't give a damn.” Lego said.

Chun tightened his grip on him, glaring angrily at his friend. “Ella has the right to know what your decision is.”
“Why do you care? You have already abandoned her, right?”
Chun was taken aback by what he said. “I never abandoned my best friend.” he said, turning away from Lego. “Did you know that she love vanilla ice cream?” Lego said. This time, Chun faced him with a puzzled look on his face. “It's her favorite, right? But she still orders strawberry ice cream. Why? Because of you. Because she knew you would want to have a taste of it, even if you're allergic to it.” Lego said. Slowly, Chun let go of his arm. “She still thinks snowpuff from time to time. She's the dog you gave her right? Have you seen the sad look on her face whenever you wait outside the school gate for Tiffany? When she comes for you and the two of you leave without even waving goodbye to her? Have you seen how frustrated she is trying to answer her math assignment without anyone's help? You never knew a thing about your best friend anymore, Chun. You know why? Because you were too blinded by Tiffany that you barely noticed her existence.” Lego said.

He felt guilty after hearing what Lego said. He's right, he have taken Ella for granted. “And do you know why she chose me? Because I was giving her the attention she needed from you. So don't tell me that I'll be hurting Ella if I leave. Don't assume that if I leave, Ella will cry her heart out. Believe me, she's stronger that you think think she is. And she'll understand if I will tell her that I have to leave...” Lego added. He gave Chun one last glarem and then left him to ponder about all the things he said.

--

Saturday came.

Ella and Lego walked inside the cafe, and found Tiffany and Chun together. “Finally! You guys are here!” Tiffany said. She jumped out of her chair, and gave Ella a hug. Ella just smiled faintly at her. “So, shall we go now? Movie starts in 30 minutes!” Tiffany said excitedly. Ella just nodded her head. They followed Chun and Tiffanny outside then they entered the mall. Ella sighed as they tailed the two. “Why did we agree to go with them?” she asked in an irritated tone. Lego just looked at her, and sighed. Then, he forced a smile on his face. “Hey, this is gonna be fun, baby. We haven't actualy went out on a real date, and a double date with Chun and Tiffany could be fun.” Lego said. “I'm not comfortable around them... it's like they are so caught up with their own little world, as if no one ever exists.” she commented. “Or is it because you're jealous of Tiffany?” Lego asked.

Ella paused, and looked at Lego. “You don't have to deny it Ella. You still love Chun. It's not easy to forget your love for him in a span of two weeks.” Lego said. She looked away from him, feeling guilty because of what he said. “I'm trying my best to stay away from him.”
“Sometimes avoiding the one you love just to forget your feelings for him does not help at all. Absence makes the heart grow fonder.”
“I don't love him anymore.”
“Then can you tell me that you love me?”

Ella looked at him again. She stared at him for a long time. As she was about to open her mouth to say something, Tiffany called them. “Ella, Lego! Come on, we've got the tickets!” Tiffany said. Lego could only sigh in frustration. “Let's not talk about this first, Ella. Can we enjoy this date first? I know you're not comfortable being with them, but this is also our date...” he said. “I'm sorry...” she said as she lowered her head. Lego lifter her chin, and smiled at her. “Forgiven. Come on, let's go, all right?” he said. Ella smiled at him, and nodded her head.

They decided to buy some popcorn before getting inside the cinema. “One cheddar cheese flavored popcorn please!” Both Chun and Ella said at the same time. They looked at each other, then Ella became awkward and looked away from him. “Ca you put in an extra butter and flavor on the other popcorn?” Chun said. Upon hearing that, Ella looked at him, and glared at him. She hated him for knowing what she liked with her popcorn. “Here you go.” the attendant said. They both reached for their money, and as Ella was about to pay for it, Chun gave the attendant the money. “This is for the two popcorn.” he said. “I didn't ask you to pay for my popcorn.” Ella said in an annoyed tone. “Well, you're welcome.” he said. She snatched the popcorn, and stomped her way inside the cinema. Chun could only shake his head as he watched her best friend get annoyed with him.

After watching the movie, they went to the department store to buy their dresses for the graduation ball. Tiffany took a black haltered gown from the rack, and tried it on. While waiting for Tiffany, Chun was looking around. He noticed that Ella was having a hard time finding a dress for herself. Then, at the corner of his eye, he saw a pink off-shoulder dress for her. He took it, and then walked up to her.

“Try this one.”

Ella looked at the two guys beside her, who was handing her a dress. On her left is Lego, who is handing her a peach tube dress, and on her right is Chun, who have a pink off-shoulder dress on his hand. Ella chose to ignore Chun, and took Lego's dress. “Thanks, baby!” she said. She walked towards the fitting room, and left the two alone. “Nice choice, by the way.” Lego said. Chun glared at him. “That dress is too revealing for her. Ella never wear those kind of dress!” Chun said. Lego just smirked at him. “Then, shall we wait till she's in that dress?” Lego said.

Minutes have passed, and Tiffany came out of the fitting room to show them how she looked like in her gown. “What do you say, hon?” she asked as she twirled around. Chun gave her a satisfied smile. “You look great on that gown.” he said. Tiffany smiled at him. “Thanks baby! Where's Ella?” she asked. “She's inside, trying out a dress.” Lego said.

After a while, Ella got out of the fitting room. “How do I look?” she asked. Chun looked her way, and in an instant, he was mesmerized with the way his best friend looked. “You look great! You... you look so sexy!” Lego commented. Upon hearing that, Chun looked angirly at Lego. He felt that he is now respecting Ella with his comment. “Go and get another dress. It's too revealing for you.” Chun ordered. Ella ignored him. “I'm going to get this one then.” she said. “Ella! You can't do that! It's too revealing for you!” Chun said angrily. Ella acted as if she didn't heard him, and went back to the fitting room to change.

There was an awkward silence between the two for a long time after that. “What's wrong?” Tiffany aksed. “My girlfriend seems not to be in the mood.” Lego answered. Chun could only glare at him. “It's your fault. You shouldn't have given her that dress.” Chun said. It was Ella's turn to glare at him. “Who gave you the right to blame my boyfriend for every action I'm doing?” she asked him. Chun looked angrily at him. “I can't understand you. Why are you acting as if you're not enjoying our company?”
“I certainly enjoy Tiffany and Lego's company, thank you very much.”
“You're acting as if I don't exist!”
“Oh, you do exist? Am I ignoring you?”
“You've been like that since we bought popcorn! What the hell is wrong with you? Is it wrong now to tell the popcorn guy how you want your popcorn to be?”
“Did I give you the permission to?”

Tiffany's eyes shifted from Chun to Ella and back as they snap back at each other. “Are you fighting?” she asked. “No!” the two of them shouted angrily at her. This shocked Tiffany the most. Ella glared at him upon seeing her reaction. “What?” she asked. “Who told you to shout at my girlfriend?”
“Oh, am I the only one who shouted at Tiffany like that?”
“Chun, Ella, stop it. You're acting like kids!” Lego said.
“I don't understand you anymore, Ella...” Chun said.
“Who told you to understand me, anyways?” Ella said.
“I don't find a reason for you to act this way towards me, Ella...” Chun said.

Ella folded her arms, and took a deep breath. “If you have a problem with me, then just tell me, will you?” Chun said. Ella gave him one last glare. Then, she stood up from her seat and walked out to the street. “Chun! Why are you like that to Ella!” Tiffany said angrily. Chun couldn't answer her. “I'm going after her.” Lego said. As lego was about to stand up, Chun got out of his seat, and decided to follow her. Lego could only watch sadly as Chun chase her best friend.

“Ella! Ella!” Chun shouted at her. Ella is still pissed off at him. She did not head his call, and continued on her way. “Ella Chen! Stop walking, will you!” Chun shouted at her. “Go away!” Ella shouted back at him. She made another step, and was about to cross the the street, when a car sped her way. She almost got hit by it, but Chun was quick and pulled her back to the safe side of the street. Soon, she found herself in his arms. She looked up at him, and she saw him staring at her with tenderness and concern. His gaze could only melt her heart, but she knew she have to keep her anger for Chun still, so that he will stay away from her. “What are you thinking, crossing the street like that? What if that car hit you? Do you know what would happen to you if you got hit by that car?!” Chun said in a worried tone. Ella pushed Chun away from her with all her might. “Stop caring for me, all right?!” Ella shouted at him. Chun was surprised at what she said. “I don't need you, Chun! Not anymore. I don't need you to protect me, or to tell me what the hell to do with my life. I don't need you, period. Stop acting like you're my big brother, and just go on with your life!” she shouted again.

She turned her back on her, and folded her arms. She wished that what she said or did would be enough for Chun to leave her alone. Then suddenly, she felt his arms wrap around her. “I do... I need you...” he whispered to her. With that, she felt herself stiffen. Her body seems to have melted when he touched her. “If you leave this world, then what about me? I don't know why you're mad at me, but even if you hate me forever, I... I could never leave you like this... I would still need you even if you don't need me anymore...” he said. She turned to face him. She bit her lips as she noticed the tear in his eyes. Then, Chun pulled her into a hug.

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Say That You Love Me - Chapter 11

2010-10-02T12:22:00.000-07:00

Heart’s Longing

I said to myself that I will learn to love him
That he’s more than enough for me
Because he loved me like no other…
But…
Why does my eyes kept on looking for you?
Why does my lips kept on speaking your name?
Why does this heart only beats for you?

--

He took a deep breath, and then reached for the hand of the girl walking beside him. He looked at her, and shyly smiled. They’ve been together for a week now, and he can’t believe that he’s finally with the girl he likes the most. He felt like the luckiest guy on earth, having to walk side by side with this angel. She looked up at him, and let out a cheeky smile. “Ice cream?” she asked. He let out a laugh. As always, Ella would ask him to treat her for some ice cream. “You bet.” He said.

Lego and Ella sat on their usual spot at the ice cream parlor. Secretly, he would glance at Ella as she takes her time reading the menu. “Strawberry ice cream… definitely, it’s gonna be strawberry ice cream again.” He thought with a smile. Whenever they stop by for ice cream, even if Ella is tempted to taste all those wonderful ice cream flavors, she always ends up ordering her classic favorite. Then, the waitress came, and took their orders. “Strawberry ice cream for me.” Ella said. Lego could only smile, for he got it right again. “And you, Lego?” she asked. “I’ll have choco mint this time.” He said.

After a while, their orders arrived. Lego watched as Ella excitedly dug in to her favorite ice cream. “Why strawberry?” he asked. Ella looked at him, puzzled at his question. “I know it’s a lame question… but each time we come here to eat, you always order that flavor. So, why is strawberry your favorite?” he asked. “I like color pink.” She said as she put a spoonful in her mouth. Then, she giggled. “Actually, my favorite really is vanilla.”
“So why do you always order strawberry?”
“Chun likes strawberry ice cream. But he’s allergic to it… so whenever we eat ice cream, he always order strawberry for me just so he could have a little of it. I grew to like this flavor anyways.”

Lego felt his smile slowly disappearing from his face, and Ella failed to notice is. “So… Chun likes strawberry ice cream?” he asked in a low voice. “He likes the fact that it’s pink.” She said with a giggle. Even if they’re together now, he felt that Chun is getting in his way to be much closer to Ella. He will always be that ghost that’s always between them. He felt a lump on his throat as he forced a smile on his lips. “I like strawberry ice cream too!” he said. Ella just smiled at him. “Want some?” she asked, offering her cup to him Lego nodded his head, and took a spoonful of it. “Delicioius.” He said as he tasted it. Ella just smiled and continued eating. He leaned back as he watched her with a heavy heart. Maybe winning Ella’s love would be a tough thing to do.

--

“I have an idea!” Tiffany told Ella the next day. Ella looked at her seatmate. “Why don’t we go on a double date this weekend? It would be fun!” she said. Ella just sighed, and shrugged her shoulder. “I don’t know…” she said. Tiffany gave her a puzzled look. “Do you have a plan this weekend with Lego?”
“Not that I know of…”
“Then, it’s settled then! Let’s have a double date this weekend. We can watch a movie, or go to the amusement park, or shop! Hey… graduation ball is coming… we can take that opportunity to shop for something to wear!”

Ella just listened as Tiffany excitedly made the plans for the weekend. She wanted to say no. She wanted to bail out, and lie about having a plan this weekend with Lego. She knew she couldn’t bear seeing Chun and Tiffany, for it would only break her heart even more. Since she got together with Lego, she did her best to avoid her best friend. She knew she’s already at the point of getting over him, and she knew that if she saw him again, she would fall for him over again, and all her efforts to forget her feelings for him would be wasted.

“What do you say, Ella? It would be fun! I can help you find a dress for the graduation ball!” Tiffany said. Ella looked at her again, and let out a faint smile. “I… I’ll think about it, all right?” she said. Tiffany nodded her head, and then went back to her seat.

--

Boston University.

Lego stared at the writing on the envelope he is holding. His hands were shaking as he held it. He knew he have always wanted to get into this university, but he’s scared to leave everything behind, especially Ella.

“Lego, anything wrong?” he heard someone asked. He immediately put the envelope in his back pocket, and turned around. He saw Chun walking up to him. “Nothing.” He said. Chun gave him a worried look. “Did my best friend fought with you?” he asked. Lego shook his head. “We’re perfectly fine…” he answered. Chun just smiled and nodded his head. “Anyway… the girls wanted to go out this weekend. Are you free?” Chun asked. Lego gave him a confused look. “I mean, Tiffany and Ella…”
“Ella haven’t mentioned anything to me yet…”
“Maybe she just forgot. They want us to go on a double dat. And accompany them to buy their dress for the graduation ball.”

Lego nodded his head. “I’m in, don’t worry.” He said. Chun let out a big smile. “Great! I can’t wait to see Ella on Saturday!” he said. “Hey, you know what? Mr. Tang wanted me to help him out with some quizzes. I’ll catch you later, all right?” Lego said. He waved goodbye at Chun, and ran to the faculty room. Little did he know, the letter fell from his pocket, and Chun noticed it. He took the letter from the floor, and looked at it. “Letter from Boston University?” Chun thought. He looked at the direction where Lego is going, and then he stared back at the letter. Curious, he opened it, and was surprised to read it’s content.

--

“Awww… look at that cute puppy!” Ella said as she looked from outside the window of the pet store. She and Lego were taking a stroll that afternoon after school, and they passed by the pet shop. “It’s really cute! Just like you.” Lego said. Ella giggled at him. “Sweet talker!” she said. She looked at the window again, and watched as the puppy plays by himself. “You know what, I used to have a dog…” she began. “She was a pug, and she’s really really cute. I call her Snowpuff. I think she was with me since I was in fifth grade…”

Lego looked at Ella, and saw the sad look on her face. “She was like my second best friend. Every morning, she would jump into my bed, and lick me till I wake up. When I come home from school, I would always play with her. She is very special to me… I thought I could keep her forever… but then one day, Snowpuff got sick. We took care of her, and even had her see the veterinarian… I thought she will get well after that, but then… a few days later… she died…” she said. Lego held her hand as she speaks. “For weeks, I kept on crying for her loss… until one day… I finally stopped.”
“Why?”

Ella smiled at him. “Because I realized that even if she’s gone, she will always be here in my heart. We have memories together. Maybe… maybe Snowpuff became my guardian dog angel…” she said. Lego couldn’t help but laugh at what she said. “And… I’m thankful that for a short period of time, Snowpuff made me happy. Her mission on earth here is over, and that’s why God took her from me.” She said. Lego smiled at her, and cupped her cheeks. “You’re a strong girl…” he said. She shook her head. “I don’t think I’ll get through it all without Chun’s help. He was the one who told me those things. He was by my side when I was grieving for her death… he helped me through it all…” she said.

Lego was taken aback by what she said. He could feel his heart breaking upon hearing her say his name again. “Did you know, Chun was the one who gave me Snowpuff for my 10th birthday. She was like the third member of our gang. He was sad too when Snowpuff died… we both cried together when we found out that Snowpuff died.” She said. Lego just took a deep breath, and tried to smile.

He feels hurt that Ella would always unintentionally speak of something about Chun and their memories. He wanted to get all of her attention, but in the end, she would remember something about him. He couldn’t blame her, after all, they were best friends. But it’s her best friend that’s being a hindrance for him to be much closer to her, and make her love him. He doesn’t even know if he can make her forget her feelings for him, when all she talks about is Chun.

He was silent as they walked home. As they reached her gate, Ella turned to him, and smiled. “Thanks for a wonderful day, Lego.” She said. “I’ll see you tomorrow then...” he said. Ella nodded her head. He leaned down on her, and gave her a kiss on her forehead. “I love you…” he said. She just looked at him. She knew it’s easy to say those words, but she can’t tell him she loves him too, if it’s not what her heart feels. She knew she had been constantly hurting him by not replying, but she doesn’t want to lie to him. “Thank you.” She replied. Lego sighed, and nodded her head. He turned around, and walked away from her, feeling defeated, because for the nth time, he failed to hear those three words from Ella.

Meanwhile, Chun was standing outside his house, watching Ella and Lego together. Still, he couldn’t help but feel jealous whenever he sees them together. What hurts him the most is that as soon as she got together with Lego, she was starting to ignore him. As soon as Lego left, he gathered up his courage, and walked up to her. “Ella…” he called. Ella stopped walking, and turned to face her. She felt her heart beating fast as he got nearer to her. “Hey… how are you?” he asked. She looked away from him, avoiding his eyes. “Why are you avoiding me, Ella? Was there something I’ve done? Was it because of the last time? If you must know… Lego and I talked and – “

“It’s not that, Chun.” Ella interrupted. “I’m… busy… lately… and…”
“Too busy to say hi to your best friend?”
Slowly, Ella looked up at him, and she could see the hurt look on his face. “You’ve been with Lego for more than a week now. You’ve been spending too much time with him…”
“You’ve been spending too much time with Tiff as well…”
“And when I try to get close to you, you avoid me…”
“I… I’m just busy.”

Chun looked into her eyes, and then held her hand. “I miss you…” he said. “I miss you so much… that it hurts…”

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Say That You Love Me - Chapter 10

2010-09-25T10:47:00.000-07:00

Green-Eyed Monsters

Why?
I ask myself that question a thousand times...
Why do I love you?
Why do I have to choose you?
Why does it have to be my best friend?
Why is it that every time I look at your face
I could only want you more?
Why can't I be her
And be the one that you love?

--

Chun got out of his house, and found Lego and Ella together. He knew that the two are talking, all right, but there was something in the way Lego held Ella's face. He walked closer to take a look at them.

“Then I'm willing to wait for that day, Ella.” Chun heard Lego said. Confusion clouded his mind as he walked closer. Lego's next actions made him more surprised. He leaned down and gave his best friend a kiss on the lips. He could feel his blood rushing up to his head. He clenched his fist at a sudden feeling of rage upon seeing that scene. Why is he kissing his best friend? Why is Ella letting him kiss her? Is there something going on behind his back?

He felt his eyes dimmed as he tapped his shoulder. Lego looked back, and without any warning, Chun threw a strong punch into his face. "Chun!" Ella shouted at him. She got down on her knees to help Lego up. He came back into his sense, and was surprised at Ella's reaction. She glared up at him as they stood up. "Why?!" she shouted angrily at him. "Why did you have to hit him, Chun? Lego have done nothing to you!" she said.

He have never seen her this mad before. He only hit him because he was doing something unnecessary to her, and he was just protecting her. "Ella, he kissed you!" he defended himself. "I let him kiss me, all right!" she shouted. That made him even more surprised. "Ella! Why? you can't let him kiss you, he's not even your -"

Then he paused. He stared at the two for a long time. Ella was looking worriedly at Lego. "Something is going on behind my back..." he thought. The anger was replaced by sadness upon seeing how close the two are. "Oh..." he muttered under his breath. She was avoiding Chun's questioning gaze. "I don't know what's happening anymore... I have been gone for a while, and then the two of you suddenly got close. I want to be mad, Ella... because I felt like you're replacing me with Lego... and then now... why did he kissed you? Are you two together now?" he asked.

Ella took a deep breath, and bravely faced him. "Yes. Lego is now my boyfriend." she said. Chun paled upon hearing her confirmation. "This... this have all been to sudden... why? I thought... Lego... he liked another..." Chun said. Lego sighed as he looked at his friend. "I just realized that I like Ella. I asked her out. She said yes. I asked her to be my girl, and she agreed." he said nonchalantly.

He glared at Lego. He knew he liked another girl, someone whom he knows that he could never have. He felt as if Lego is just using Ella as a rebound girl. He attacked Lego, and held him by his collar. "Do you think I will allow you to be with Ella, Lego? No way. Ella deserves someone much better, all right?" he said. Ella came to Lego's rescue, and tired to push him away from Lego, whch she did successfully. "Stop interfering with my life, Chun." Ella said. Chun looked at her, and she simply glared at him again. "This is my life. I'll date whoever it is I want to date. And I like Lego a lot. Just let me be happy, all right?" she said.

Chun was taken aback by what his best friend said. “You don't want me to interfere with your life anymore? What's going on, Ella? Are you really that mad at me?” he asked. “I am not mad at you! It's just that... you and me... we both have our different lives now... do you think it's about time that I stop depending on you? You can never be beside me forever, Chun.” she said. He looked at her furiously. “Do you really think that way? Ella, I promised you...”
“It was just a childish promise, OK? That's the truth. One day, the two of us will have to go our separate ways... it's just starting now.”
“No!”
“That's the truth. We'll outgrown each other, Chun. You will have your own life, I will have my own. We need the space to grow...”

Chun looked at Lego, and then back at Ella. “I'm still your best friend, Ella. I don't know why you're acting this way. I just hope that you realize that your actions are hurting me.” he said in a hurt tone. Then, he turned his back and walked away from the two. Ella could only watch as Chun walks away from her. She regret what she have said. It was a wrong move to push her best friend away so that she could forget her love for him. She made a step forward to follow him, but she stopped herself before she could.

She felt Lego's hand hold hers. She looked at him, and there was an understanding in his face. “I won't stop you if you want to run after him, Ella... after all... he is still your best friend...” he said. She shook her head as she let out a faint smile. “This is my start...” she said. “I... I have to stay away from him so that I could unlove him, Lego... and... and you're here...”

--

Chun sat at the edge of his head, with a hurt expression on his face. Ella's words a while ago is still ringing in his ears. Why does he feel that his best friend is leaving him? Why does he feel that she doesn't need him anymore? He knew that since he and Tiffany got closer, Ella and Lego got closer as well. Seeing them together before, he couldn't deny the feeling of being threatened. But now that they are together, he felt even more jealous.

He clenched his fist, he curled up as he leaned his head on his knees. His heart is in pain because of what happened. Just when he found happiness with his dream girl, a mess like this would happen between him and Ella. He was so scared to lose her. He was so scared that he will be forgotten by the girl he was with all his life. “Ella...” he whispered. “We promised... you promised to be always be by my side... why do I feel like you're slipping away from me slowly? Why do I feel like you don't care for me anymore? Do you know how much I need you in my life? I feel like I can't breathe anymore...”

She stared at the picture frame by her bedside. She took it, and stared at his smiling face. “I'm sorry...” she thought. She bit her lips as she let a tear fall down on his picture. “Chun... do you know how much it pains me seeing you each day, as if I don't matter anymore? You have Tiffany know, and I'm left with no one. Before, I was just happy standing beside you and loving you silently, praying that one day you'll see me in a different light... but now...”

Ella closed her eyes as another tear rolled down her cheek. “I've lost you. I've lost you to her... and though I'm beside you, I feel like the distance between us is getting farther. I maybe near you, but I couldn't even let you know how much I do love you... it's hurting me, and I'm getting tired of all this pain. I'm sorry... I'm sorry for staying away from you. I'm sorry that I have to be with Lego... this is for the best, that I know. I can't stay friends with you if my heart keeps on loving you. I can never be the same Ella, your best friend, as long as this feelings stay... I'm sorry... I'm sorry...”

He put his hand on his pocket and let out a sigh. He kicked the can in front of him as he waled. This is supposed to be the happiest day of his life. Ella Chen, the girl he have loved since his first year in high school, have finally given him a chance to love her. He swore to himself that he will do everything to make her forget Chun, but it turns out to be difficult as he thought it to be. There was jealousy in Chun's eyes when he glared at him. There was longing in Ella's eyes as she watched him walk away. And though Ella stayed with him, he felt bad. Everything seems wrong.

Lego stopped walking and let out another sigh. “Ella... you've given me the chance... but why do I feel that you can't open up your heart for me? I wish that you'll look at me in the same way that you look at him. I wish you'll cry for me in the same way you cry for him. I wish I could just be Chun so that you could love me too... why does it have to be him, Ella? He is your best friend, yet he never knew how you really feel? He swore to protect you, yet he left your side the moment Tiffany walked into his life. I've been with you, silently looking after you, trying my best to make you smile, but still...”

He let out another groan. He looked down and saw a pebble by his foot. With all his might, he kicked the pebble away from him. He knew he should be ready for this moment when he asked Ella to be his girl, but he never thought that it would hurt more. And the only thing to do is endure the pain he is feeling.

He strummed on his guitar, playing on that one song again. He hummed along with it, and then suddenly, her innocent face came into his mind. He let out a smile, and just shook her head. Calvin Chen never believed in love at first sight before, but since that day at the chapel, he wants to believe it now. “Will I see you again?” he thought. He reached for his pocket, and took a white handkerchief with her name on it. She left it when she ran away from him at the chapel. When he saw her the following week, he was so shy to approach her and return the hanky to her. He laughed at himself. His friends did laugh at him before.

Being the star singer of the glee club and the main guitarist of their band, Calvin never had problems with girls. He was never shy around girls, actually, except for this high school girl who seem to have stolen his heart the moment their eyes met. “I definitely have to see you again, Ella... I have to...” he said to himself.

--

School have once again ended the next day.

As usual, Ella tailed Tiffany from behind. From the school gate, she could see Chun waiting for her. “Bye Ella! See you tomorrow!” Tiffany said as she waved goodbye. She just smiled faintly and nodded her head. She watched as she ran up to the gate. The moment the two met, she gave Chun a kiss on the lips. Chun smiled happily at him. She didn't want to see that scene anymore. She doesn't want to feel hurt anymore whenever she sees him together. She looked away from them, and decided to wait for Lego.

Chun looked inside the school gate, just In time when Ella looked away from him. He felt a flinch in his heart, seeing her best friend is still mad at him. “Ella...” he thought. He doesn't care anymore who's fault it is, or what have triggered them to be this estranged. He just wished that things can go back to the way they were – before he saw Lego kissing her, before he hit him, before Ella said those hurtful words, before he walked away from her. “Hon, let's go?” he heard Tiffany said. He looked down at her, and smiled. “OK.” he said.

As he put his arm around her, Lego came. The two just stared at each other for a long time. “He's here for Ella...” he thought. Lego sighed, and put his hands on his pocket. Chun looked at him for a long time. They have been friends for a long time, and it would be a stupid mistake to throw away their friendship just because he found out that he and Ella are together now. “She's inside...” Chun said. Lego gave him a puzzled look. Chun let out a sad smile at him. He felt a lump in his throat as he was about to speak again. “Take care of her, Lego. She's... she's too precious for me. If... if you hurt her, I could never forgive you.” he said. Tiffany smiled at Chun, and then looked at Lego. “I'm sure he would take care of Ella. She's in good hands, Chun. Don't worry too much about your best friend.” she said. Chun just nodded his head.

As Chun and Tiffany turned to leave, Lego began to speak. “I will take care of her, Chun.” he said. Chun paused for a while, and listened to him. “I will... love her... more than anything else in this world. I will.” he said. He looked back, and smiled again. “I know you will.” Chun said. As Lego watched them leave, he could feel the pain in his heart once again.

After they left, Ella came out of the school gate. She gave him a smile, and kissed him on the cheek. “I want ice cream.” she said. Lego smiled at her. “You have always loved ice cream.” he said. Then, she looked at Chun's direction. Her smile became a sad one as she stared at his back. She could feel the tears starting to form at the corner of her eyes once more. As Lego held her hand, he looked at her. “Ella...” he thought. “I wish you can only look at me...”

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Say That You love Me - Chapter 9

2010-09-18T11:07:00.000-07:00

Changes

Since that day you kissed me,
I know a lot of things have changed
I knew I loved you more than ever
And I know how wrong these feelings are
And so I had to go on
To move on...
To leave your side silently

--

Chun walked Tiffany home that night after their date. As they reached her door, Tiffany turned to him and smiled. “Thank you for a wonderful night, Chun.” she said. He let out a boyish smile at her. “Thank you for a memorable night, Tiffany.” he said

The evening breeze gently blew to them. They stood still, gazing into each other's night. It was a special night for the two of them, something that they will never forget for the rest of their lives. He walked up to her closely. A gentle smile escaped from his lips as stared into her innocent face. As his face moves closer to her, he felt as if all the air he have sucked up inside have faded. She was breathtakingly beautiful. And her mere presence beside him had this effect on him.

The moment he longed for would come sooner, he knows. As she closed her eyes, he inched into her face once more. He could feel his heart beating fast, and his hands trembling as he held her by her sides. As he closed her eyes, their lips touched. It was their first kiss. With each seconds that their lips touched, he felt as if his world was spinning around. There were fireworks. He could swear he could hear the angels singing around them. He just loved the feeling of being this close to the girl he loves.

As he pulled away from her, he smiled shyly at her. There was silence between them, and they could understand each other with the mere smiles on their faces. “Uhmmm... I have to go inside now, Chun.” Tiffany said. Chun nodded his head. “Good night.” he said. “Good night...” she said sweetly. As she turned to open the door, Chun called her once more. She turned around, and saw him looking at her with love. “I love you, Tiffany.” he said. She let out a sweet smile, and replied. “I love you too, Chun.”

--

Ella heard a loud knock on the door. She turned down the volume of the TV, and stood up to open it. As she opened the door, she was surprised to see Chun smiling happily at her. “C-chun?” she stammered. “Ella!” he exclaimed happily. He grabbed her, and locked her small body into his arms. He hugged her tightly, so tight, that she could feel his heart beating furiously. “C-chun! I can't breath! What happened?” she asked. This time, Chun let her go.

He held her by her shoulders, and looked into her face. “It was the best date I had in my entire life!” he said. Ella sighed as she rolled her eyes. “Oh, please Chun... that's like your first date. You'll have another one of those great dates with Tiffany in the future...” she said. “But this one is the best. It went exactly as planned, and I know that she enjoyed it... and you know what made it more perfect?” Chun said. Ella gave him a puzzled look as she shook her head. “We kissed! I kissed her!” Chun said.

She felt as if someone drained all of her energy upon hearing what he said. Chun was way more excited with his first kiss with Tiffany, than that kiss they shared that afternoon. Maybe it meant nothing for him. After all, it was just kissing lessons for him, but for her, it will be something that she will treasure forever. She never regret that she gave her first kiss to her best friend, and the boy that she will always love.

She faked a smile to hide her sadness. “That's... good. At least the lessons paid off.” she said. She let out a nervous laugh. Seeing smile at her once more made her ever more nervous. “Thank you, Ella. I'm happy now because of all the things you've done for me. If it wasn't for you, I won't be able to meet the girl of my dreams, have her, date her, kiss her...” he said. Ella let out another nervous laugh. “Aiyo, stop it! I only did what a good best friend would do anyways. I...” She took a deep breath as she tried to smile. “I'm happy for you. Seeing this way, I'm contented. At least there's someone who loves you in the same way that you love them...”

He smiled. He took her hand, and pulled her into another hug. “For everything that you have done and will do for me in the future, Ella... thank you. I wish I could give you the same happiness that I am feeling right now...” he whispered to her. She was fighting the urge to let the tear roll down her cheek. “Then love me, Chun... love me... choose me... say that you feel the same way for me... because it's hurting me so much to see that I'm losing you... that giving you your own happiness is breaking my heart...” she thought.

She pulled away from him, afraid that he would finally see through her. She faked another smile as she pushed her away. “Now stop being too mushy, and go home.” she said. “But... but... I still want to talk to you!” Chun protested. “We'll talk tomorrow. We both need a shut eye!” she said. She yawned and stretched out her hand. “All this TV marathon makes me sleepy. I'll see you tomorrow, all right?” she said. Chun sighed, and nodded his head. “Fine, tomorrow. Good night, Ella.” he said. He walked up to her, and gave her a kiss on the cheek.

That left her into a daze. She touched the part of her cheek that he kissed as she watched him leave. “Why does unloving you seems so hard, Chun? Why is it that when I found the reason to stop wanting you, you give me a reason to love you even more?” she thought.

“Mei...”

She looked back, and she saw her sister walking up to her. “Jie... it's nothing. Just a friendly kiss.” she said defensively. Joe let out a sigh as she shook her head. “But it's still a kiss, Ella. I don't want to see you kissing your best friend because I know it's hurting you more. And look... he have a girlfriend that he obviously love. You have to stop this, mei...” Joe said in a worried tone. Ella closed the door, and walked past her sister. “This will pass, jie. One day, I will start seeing him again as Chun... that little boy with drools when he sleeps.” she said with a laugh.

Joe looked sadly at her little sister. “You're only hurting yourself, Ella...” she said. Ella stopped, and looked at her sister. “I know...” she said. “You deserve someone better... someone who can love you more. And sadly, Chun is not the one that could love you. Chun only sees you as a friend. Do you think it's about time that you give other people a chance to love you as well?” she said. Ella just stared at her sister, pondering at what she just said.

--

It was Monday afternoon, and the class have ended.

Ella gathered all her things, and then turned to Tiffany. “Hey, Tiff... I think we should start with the research today. We can go to the library...” Ella said. Tiffany looked at her with a surprised look on her face. “Oh my God! I totally forgot about it!” she said. “It's OK... good thing I reminded you about it.” she said. Tiffany sighed, and shook her head. “Ella, can we schedule it at another time? Chun and I are going to the mall today... we already planned to meet up after school.” she said.

Any trace of emotion on Ella's face have disappeared upon hearing what she said. “But... we need to start on our research...” she said. “I know that, Ella... sorry I forgot, but I can't ditch my boyfriend. You understand, don't you?” she said. She looked at her, and she was giving her a sweet smile. She wanted to protest. She wanted to tell her that nothing is more important than making sure they'll pass Chinese History together. But there's nothing she can do, for it's Chun's happiness that's at stake.

“Fine.” she said in a stern voice. Tiffany's face lightened up, not hearing the hint of anger in Ella's tone. “I'll do the research today. I'll give you the topics that I'll be having a hard time with.” she said. “Don't worry, Ella! I'm sure Chun will help us out.” Tiffany said. “i don't want to be that dependent on him.” she muttered under her breath. Just then, she felt Tiffany hugging her. “Thanks, Ella! I promise to make up to you! You're a really good friend.” Tiffany said.

Before she went to the library, she walked Tiffany by the school gate. As soon as she saw Chun, she waved goodbye to her, and ran to him. Chun didn't even bother to wave hi to her. He was so caught up upon seeing Tiffany. She watched as he kissed her on the lips. She watched as he put his arms around her. She watched as he leaves her.

From now on, a lot of things will change, especially between them. She knew that the promise of forever he made to her is finally broken. He doesn't need her now, she thought. He already have Tiffany. He's happy with her. Someone else have came first in his life now. She is not his priority anymore. She is just a second best for him. He doesn't see her the way he did before, because he only have his eyes on Tiffany, and it hurts her the most. Her best friend is slowly taking her for granted, and she's scared that one day, she will lose him, and that he will be nothing but a stranger for her.

It was almost dusk when she finished. When she got out of the school gate, she found Lego standing, waiting for her. “Lego...” she said in a soft voice. He took a deep breath, and walked up to her. “I waited for you.” he said. Then, he let out a faint laugh. “I told myself I won't care about you anymore. But I can't bring myself not to. You're too special for me... I feel that it's my job now to look after you.” he said. There was an awkward silence between them. Then, he turned his back on her. “Come on, I'll walk you home, Ella.” he said.

Ella followed behind him. The whole time, Lego was not speaking to her. She could understand that he's still mad because she rejected him. But she have to be true to herself. She loves Chun, and she can't be with him. As they walked home, her thoughts were filled up with a lot of thoughts. Maybe, if Chun knew how she felt, he would do the same thing as she did – and that is to reject her love. She knew how she have hurt Lego, and she knew that she would feel the same way if Chun did the same thing.

“You're only hurting yourself, Ella...”

When she secretly loved Chun, she right from the start that it would hurt her. But she never thought that it would hurt her more, especially when Tiffany came into their lives. She wasn't ready for all the pain and heartaches that's associated with her unrequited love.

“Chun only sees you as a friend”

At least before, he sees her. Now, it's as if he was too blinded by Tiffany. She had long accepted the fact that they could never be together. That they will only be friends – best friends. But after that kiss, it changed everything. She wanted to be selfish. She wanted him by herself. But she couldn't do that... she loves Chun too much that hurting him would cost her heart.

“ it's about time that you give other people a chance to love you as well”

Her thoughts were interrupted when she realized that she was already in front of her house. “We're here.” Lego said. He turned to her and smiled. “You're home safe and sound, princess.” he said. She looked into his eyes, and she saw the familiar pain reflecting before her. She felt guilty. She wished she could do something to take it all away. “I'll get going now, dork. Hope to see you tomorrow.” he said.

She didn't utter a word as he walked past her. Then, she remembered something that her sister said. “You deserve someone better...” She looked at Lego as he walked away. He love her, she know that. He could give her all the love she ever wanted, and all she have to do is give him a chance. Maybe one day, she will learn to love him with all his heart.

“Hey...” she called. He looked back. She smiled as she walked up to him. As she stood in front of him, she lowered her head. “I'm sorry... for the last time...” she said in a soft voice. “I understand... you don't have to apologize...” he answered. “I know what you're feeling, because I'm feeling it too. And I know, it's unfair of me to reject you...”
“Chun will always be the one in your heart, and I understand. All I can do is be a friend to you...”

She looked up at him. And just like before, there was a spark of hope in his eyes. “I don't want to love him anymore...” she said softly. A tear fell from her eye as she speaks. “It... it has been hurting me constantly... and I don't want to feel this pain anymore.” she said. He cupped her cheek with his palm, and wiped the tears from her eyes. “Can I take away your pain? Can I try to make you unlove him?” he asked with a hopeful tone. She closed her eyes, and nodded her head. “Yes...” she said.

“I'm giving you the chance, Lego.”

He felt a tear fall down from his cheek. He smiled as he held her face. “You won't regret a thing, Ella...” Lego said. “I'll do my best so that you could forget your feelings for him. I'll always make you smile, the way that he does. I can be his replacement, his substitute... just be with me. I promise that...” he said. Ella held on to his hand, and smiled. “You don't have to do all those things, Lego. Just stay with me... I know one day I will learn to love you.” she said. Lego nodded his head. “Then I'm willing to wait for that day, Ella.” he said. He leaned down on her, and gave her a soft kiss on the lips. Then, he stared into her face.

Just then, someone tapped his shoulder. He looked back, and saw Chun looking furiously at him. The next thing he knew, Chun punched him in the face.

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Love Starts Here - Prologue

2010-08-28T10:32:00.000-07:00

Prologue

She stood before the old cathedral. Her eyes wandered around, as her mind tries to remember the first and last time she was here.

8 years?
6 years?

She could not remember how long.

But she could still remember the first time she came here. She ran around like a crazy woman. She sneaked in because she thought it was fun. But the silence of the empty cathedral was deafening her. She remembered the last time she was here as well. She walked out of that door with tears in her heart, and a heavy heart. And with all those times she entered this majestic structure, it only reminds her that those were the times she was with him.

She paused upon remembering him.

Him.

He was not the first man in her life. She have been with a few during her time. But he is definitely someone she will never forget – someone who will always have her heart. He will always be the man she have loved the most. She love her so much, that she would do everything for him. Everything, including letting him go in exchange for a brighter future he will have.

She knew she is not the right woman for him. She will never be the right woman for him. He was a perfect man, while she... she have a dark past. He have a bright future, while everything looks dim from her point of view. He came from the high society, while she is just a scum. She is a broken person, but what she will always be thankful for is that he loved her, and that love have mended her and made her whole again.

Her hands trembled as she reached for the knob. Slowly, she opened the door, and as the light entered the dark hallway of the cathedral, she found him standing by the altar. A tear fell from her eyes upon seeing him. She bit her lips as she slowly walked up to him. Her heart felt happy and scared at the same time. She doesn't know how he will react when he sees her again. Will he be mad like the last time? Will he blame her for ruining his life.

She made a decision to run away again. That's what she's good at anyways. She ran away from the reality that her life was a hell. She ran away at the time when she was hopelessly in love with him. She ran away because she knew she is just a burden for him. But every time she ran away from everything, she comes back to find that the thing she fears the most is still there. She turned her back, but then she felt someone stopping her. She looked back, and saw him. His pleading eyes looked straight into her. Unlike the last time, this time, it was filled with hope.

“You can't run away forever from me.” he said in a low but stern voice. “I will only hurt you again.” she said firmly. “Then why did you came back?” he questioned. “If you knew that you will hurt me, why do you have to come back? Do you know how long I've been praying for you to come back into my life? It doesn't matter if you hurt me so many times... because I love you. My life would be meaningless if you're not here...” he said.

She could clearly see the tear fall from his tender face. There was no anger, or hatred, unlike before. There is only hope that this time that she will stay. “Please...” he pleaded. His cracked voice made her heart flinch.

Will she stay, and let the love start?
Or will she go and end everything?

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So It's You - Part 7

2010-08-22T11:45:00.000-07:00

Seasons passed by, and it was my third spring in the university.

I’ve waited for this season to come, and as soon as my classes are over, I ran up to the park, hoping to see her once again. And there she was, sitting on our usual spot. I smiled to myself as I walked up to her. But then, that smile slowly faded as I got closer to her. Her usual happy face was replaced with a sad one. Her thoughts seems to be somewhere else, as she never noticed that I was coming up to her. Her fingers fidget on her blouse, and her eyes was trying to control the tears from falling down her face.

“Hikaru…” I called in a soft voice. She looked at me. She bit her lips as the tears finally fell from her eyes. I sat next to her, and then she buried her face onto my chest as she cried. “Ya Lun…” she whispered as she sobbed softly. I stroked her hair as I embraced her into my arms. I let her cry on my shoulder, hoping that whatever she is feeling right now, it would ease everything with my embrace. “Grandpa… he…” she managed to say in between sobs.

At the start of that year, Rihito-sensei fell sick and was forced to take a leave. And maybe this is the reason why Hikaru is sad. She came here to see her beloved grandpa sick. “They… they said… they said grandpa will be… be….” Then, she cried again. Rihito-sensei is sick, and from what I’ve heard, his condition has worsened. I’m worried about Hikaru. From what I know, she became this way because of a tragedy that happened to her and her family. And now, there will be another tragedy that’s going to happen to them, and I’m not sure if she could take everything.

I walked her home, and we saw Aiba by the door. “Thank God, you came back…” he said as soon as he saw his sister.. I watched as Hikaru she retreat back inside the house. She looked so lifeless, like someone have taken out her soul. It was breaking my heart to see her like this. “Hikaru have been like that since she learned about grandpa’s condition…” Aiba said. I looked up at him, and he gave me a sad smile. “I thought that when she sees you, her depression would somehow lessen but… but I was wrong…” he continued.

I looked by the door, wondering how Hikaru was coping with everything. “She’s not used to this…” AIba said once again. “When we were young, we had a car accident, and she saw our dad die before her very eyes. Since then, she was never the same again. I’m afraid that if grandpa…” he paused for a while, and shook his head. “I wish things would not happen this way. I… I’m so worried about her.” He continued. What can I tell him? Can I tell him not to worry, for everything will be OK? I know not everything will be all right, and Hikaru will not be all right. I knew that a tragedy will soon struck their family, and she will never be ready for it. She will never be ready to lose her grandpa.

--

I walked inside the house, into Rihito-sensei’s room. He was sitting up with a book in his hand. He looked up at me, and smiled. “Ya Lun! I’m glad you were able to come!” he said. There was a weak smile on his face. I smiled back, and nodded my head. I walked up to him, and sat on a chair beside him. “It’s spring once again, isn’t it?” he asked. “It is.” I told him. He looked outside the window, and I can see the smile slowly fade from his face. “It’s funny how seasons pass us by without us even knowing it. I’ve lived into 70 springs, and here I am…”

He looked at me, and let out another faint smile. “An old, sickly and weak man.” He said. “I don’t think you’re that old, Rihito-sensei.” I told him. “I can’t deny it anymore, Ya Lun. I am old, and one day, I will have to go.” He said. He let out a sigh as he looked outside the window again. “All my life, I had regrets, about things that I didn’t do, and words that I didn’t say. When my son died, I was not able to tell him how much I love him, and how much he made me proud of him. When my wife died, I was not there beside her to see her go. When Hikaru and Aiba was born, I wasn’t there to witness their arrival. There are mistakes I made, things I forget to do, things I regret to do… but all in all it sums up life. The measurement of how well you lived your life is with the things you have said and done, with the mistakes and the lessons you learned, with the regrets and the what-ifs…” he said.

“Are… are you ready? Are you ready to go? To leave us all behind?” I asked. I could hear my own voice quivering as I asked that question. “It’s not a question if I am ready to go. I am ready to face my death. It’s a question if the people who loved you are ready to let you go when you die…” he answered. “Hikaru? What about her?”
“Hikaru will have to accept it. She have not accepted her father’s death, because she was not ready for it. As for me… I will do everything to make her ready for my departure.”
“But will Hikaru be able to accept it?”
“All my life, I prayed to find someone who could take care of Hikaru, who could love her the way that I do. Who could protect her, and accept her for who she is. I prayed for someone to be there for her when she needs someone, and they sent you to her, Ya Lun. Knowing that you will always be there for her, I will be at ease, and I could die peacefully knowing that my granddaughter is in good hands.”

I lowered my head as he speaks. It is a great honor for me that he chose me to take care of Hikaru. But now, more than ever, I am scared. Not for myself, but for her. I can be there for her, that’s for sure. But I’m worried that Hikaru will not be able to accept things as they are. “You will take care of Hikaru, right, Ya Lun?” he asked. I looked up at him, and let out a smile. “You have my word.” I replied. “I will look after Hikaru from this day, onwards.”

--

As the springtime passes by, Rihito-sensei grew weaker and weaker each day. I made sure that I am there always for Hikaru to make her feel at ease. I know it was hurting her as well to see her grandfather dying.

It was one Saturday afternoon, and we were at Rihito-sensei’s room. Hikaru was sitting on the floor, her head was on her grandfather’s hand. “Grandpa…” she called. “Hmmmm…” Rihito-sensei said in a weak voice. “Are you… are you… going to where papa is?” she asked. I heard Rihito-sensei let out a weak laugh. “I am, if God will allow me to be with your father…” he said in a weak voice. I looked at Hikaru, and saw a tear falling from her eyes. “Grandpa… when… when you see papa… will you… will you tell him that I love him?” she said. Rihito-sensei smiled. “I will…”
“Will… will you tell him that… that I’m sorry… for that night… because… because I….”

He turned to her, and patted her head. “Hikaru-chan… it was not your fault. You were not at fault that night. It was… an accident, and no one blames you for that…” he said weakly. She closed her eyes, and let the tears fall down from her eyes. “I’m going to miss you, grandpa… I know you’re tired… really, really tired… you can rest now… I promise I will be OK… I will try to be OK….” She whispered. “When I’m gone, I will still watch you from above, my princess. I will always look after you… and someone else will take care of you when I’m gone…” he said.

He looked up at me, and smiled. He mouthed a word of thanks to me as he consoled Hikaru. I took a deep breath, and smiled at him, and then I turned my back. I knew I had to be strong for them, especially for Hikaru. But at that moment, I wanted to break down and cry, but I can’t let them see how weak I feel inside. I don’t know if I could do it without Rihito-sensei. I don’t know if I could take care of Hikaru the way that he did for the past years. I don’t know if I had enough patience to be with her. But I know that I love her. And maybe he sees that love I have for her, that he is more than willing to hand her to me, to ask me to take care of her. But still, I’m scared. I’m scared that I will disappoint him, and that I will disappoint myself and Hikaru even more.

Maybe it’s OK to scared once in a while… and it’s OK to be scared at this moment.

--

Aiba and I were busy preparing breakfast, when we heard a loud cry at Rihito-sensei’s room. We looked at each other for a while, and then rushed to his room. As we opened the door, we saw Hikaru by the floor. She was holding onto Rihito-sensei’s hand, and she was crying. “Grandpa….” She cried. “Grandpa… why did you have to leave now? Why now? Grandpa…”

I felt like someone poured cold water on my back. I slowly walked onto Rihito-sensei’s bed. I saw him sleeping peacefully, with a smile on his face. “Rihito-sensei…” I whispered. I held his hand, and felt how cold it was. I knelt down, and put my ear onto his chest, trying to feel his heartbeat, but I couldn’t feel it. I could hear his heart beating. I couldn’t feel his slow breathing.

Rihito-sensei is gone. He left me, Hikaru, and Aiba. He left the people he loved the most. He left us without giving us a chance to say goodbye for the last time.

I bit my lips as the tears finally fell from my eyes. He was the father figure to me while I’m staying here at the uni. He was the one giving me words of wisdom, especially when I needed it most. And now that he is gone, I felt like a lost sheep. Life, I guess, will never be the same without Rihito-sensei.

I looked at Hikaru, who is still crying hard after knowing that her grandfather passed away quietly. I put my arms around her, and pulled her into a hug. Together, we cried for our loss. I knew that moment that she needed me, and I needed her as well. She needed to cry to me. She needed someone to hold her and make her feel all right. With her in my arms, I could feel all my fears slowly disappearing. I felt like there was nothing to worry about. It was as if being with Hikaru and take care of her is something I’ve always wanted to do for the rest of my life. I looked down at her, and she was crying on my shoulder. “Hikaru…” I whispered. I pulled her close to me, and let her cry even more. “Ssssshhhh….” I whispered ot her. “Hush now, Hikaru… I am here… I will always be here for you… you still have me… I won’t leave you, ever…”

From that moment on, I will have to take care of her. I will do everything for her. I promised Rihito-sensei that.

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So It's You - Part 6

2010-08-15T16:01:00.000-07:00

The spring dance was held at the uni’s garden that evening. As we entered, I felt Hikaru held on to my hand tightly. I looked at her, and I could see the nervousness on her face. She looked at me, and I smiled. “Relax… you’re the most beautiful girl tonight.” I said. Her cheeks once again turned pink with what I said. “I feel like Cinderella already…” she whispered. “And I am your prince charming for tonight.” I said proudly.

All eyes were on us that night. I know most of them were surprised that I brought Hikaru to the dance. Just like before, some were talking behind our backs. “Ya Lun…” she called in a nervous tone. I looked down at her, and I could see how scared she is. “Why are they looking at us? Is there something wrong?” she asked. “They are looking at us because I’m with the most beautiful girl they have ever seen.” I said. She giggled at what I said.

I lead her to the dance floor, and a slow song began to fill the air. “Are we going to dance now?” she asked innocently. I nodded my head. “Didn’t the prince danced with Cinderella when he saw her for the first time?” I asked. She had that puzzled look on her face, which amused me the most. “But… this isn’t the first time you saw me.” She said. “It doesn’t matter. Cinderella is the prince’s first dance that night.” I said. “So, I’m going to be your first dance?” she asked again. I let out a laugh, and pinched her nose.

Then, she turned into a pout. “What’s wrong, Hikaru-chan?” I asked. “I…” she lowered her head. She fidget her fingers again, I know when she does that, there is something bothering her. “You don’t know how to dance?” I asked. She looked at me, and nodded my head. “Don’t worry, I’ll teach you. It’s simple.” I assured her. “What do I do?” she asked. “Just follow my lead.” I said. I held her hand, and put it on my shoulder. Then, I took her other hand, and hold it. I put my hand on her waist, and as the music filled the air once more, I leaned forehead on hers. “Make a step to your side…” I instructed her. She followed what I was doing. “And then make another step on the other side…” I said.

Before we knew it, we were slow dancing. I was gazing into her eyes as we danced. Whenever I look at Hikaru, it felt like the time always stands still, like we were the only people in the world. I felt like wanting to get lost into those big black orbs. I felt like gazing into her eyes forever. I could look into her gentle face, and not get tired of staring at her.

I thought of my life before she came into my life. I knew it was a boring one. All I did was to study, and to study is all I do all my life. My life felt empty, and I feel that I didn’t have any purpose, whatsoever. There was nothing exciting to look forward to. When Hikaru came, my once dull world was suddenly filled with colors. I look forward to each day of seeing her. I look forward to each springtime that we will be together. I never cared about someone as much as I cared for her. I had the urge to protect her, to always make her smile. She was the one who brought the smile on my face, the one who made me realize that life is not all work. She brought out the kid in me. I don’t know where I’d be without this girl. When she’s not with me, I wish I could fast forward to the day she’ll be here with me. When she’s beside, I wish that time would be much longer.

“Ya Lun…” she called in her soft, sweet voice. “Hmmmm…” I said with a smile. “I… I like you… I like you a lot…” she whispered. “I like you too… I like you a lot…” I whispered to her. She rested her head on my shoulder as we continued to dance.

Just having her beside me feels so good. Just having her in my arms feels so right. If loving her is wrong, then I don’t want to be right for the rest of my life.

--

My only mistake that night was I let Hikaru out of my sight.

I left her for a while to get her something to drink. Then, Gui Gui came up to me. “Ya Lun…” she called. It took me one look to realize that she is drunk. “Gui Gui.” I said. She smiled at me, and held on to my arms. “Ya Lun… be with me tonight, please… leave her… stay with me…” she said. I let out a sigh as I looked at her again. “I can’t Gui Gui. I promised her grandpa –“
“Then take her home and be with me!”
“I can’t. She is my date. I can’t abandon her.”

She pushed at me, and glared at me angrily. “Why her?!” She shouted. “Why her?! Why does it have to be that crazy girl?! I am much better than her!” she shouted at me. I closed my eyes, and took a deep breath. Then, I looked at her. “I explained everything to you, Gui Gui. What part of it can’t you understand?” I asked. “I can’t accept that I’m going to lose to a crazy girl like her.” She told me.

Just then, I heard a loud cry. I looked back, and I saw a group of boys making fun of Hikaru. They were circling her, while Hikaru was crying. I rushed to her to save her. “What do you think you’re doing?!” I shouted at the boys while pushing them. “Oooh, prince charming have some to save her little princess!” one of them said mockingly. I took Hikaru into my arms, as I protect her from the others. Everyone’s eyes are on us once again. Some were laughing. Some were making remarks. Some were worried. I looked at them, angrily. “You have no right to make fun of someone just because of their condition!” I shouted at them. “Who do you think you are, our father? And it’s your fault! Why did you have to bring that cuckoo here at the dance?” one of them said. “For a scholar like you, you sure are dumb.” Another said. “Cuckoo! Cuckoo!” another one teased.

I couldn’t control my anger anymore. I clenched my fist, and began to hit them. I swear I could almost kill one of them, if only Osamu and Da Dong did not come to pull me away from them. “Ya Lun! Stop it!” Osamu said. “Why are you acting this way just because of that girl?” Da Dong asked. I looked at him, then I looked back at Hikaru. Her head hangs low as she cries. She bit her lips as she looked up at me. “Hikaru…” I whispered. Just then, she turned and ran away from me. “Hikaru!” I called.

I looked at everyone who witnessed that scene. I was angry because of what happened. I was angry because they let her be hurt by their word. I was angry because they were making fun of her. I was angry because they could not accept her.

I was angry because I am hurting the most because of what they did.

“Why do you people have to judge someone because of the way they act?!” I shouted angrily at them. Everyone fell silent. “Are you all happy because you have hurt someone?! Huh?! Are you all happy that she ran away from me?! You don’t know her, all right?! You don’t know Hikaru the way that I do! You only proved to me that you guys are the worst… and that she is much better than all of you!” I could feel my tears in my eyes as I lash it out on all of them.

I took a deep breath, and walked away from them. I don’t need them, those kind of people. All I need is Hikaru.

--
I looked for Hikaru all over the place. Finally, I found her sitting by the stoop of a building. She curled into a ball, and as I got nearer to her, I could hear her muffled cry. I heart was aching to see her this way. “Hikaru…” I called in a low voice. She looked up at me. I could clearly see the crystal tears from her eyes. “Ya Lun… I… I’m sorry…” she said. I sat next to her, and then wiped the tear from her eye. “No, I’m sorry… I’m sorry that I left you alone. I’m sorry that I wasn’t there when they made fun of you.” I said.

I cupped her cheek with my palm, and gazed into her eyes. Why is the society so cruel to someone as gentle as her? It wasn’t her fault that she became this way. It wasn’t her choice at all. I could feel her pain. I could feel my heart being stabbed into a million pieces seeing her crying. I pulled her to my chest, and hugged her tight. I was wishing that by my hug, all the pain she is feeling would finally disappear. I hushed to her as she cried. “Ssssshhhh… don’t worry, Hikaru… I am here now… they can’t hurt you anymore. I won’t let them hurt you… you’re safe here with me…” I whispered to her.

We stayed that way for a long time. When I looked down at her, she was already sleeping peacefully in my arms. I smiled to myself as I looked at her. If only I could see her this at peace, then I would be happy. “I love you…. And I will protect you with all my life, Hikaru…” I whispered to her. I wish she could hear what I was saying. I wish she could understand what I feel for her. But she is still a child. I don’t know if she would be able to comprehend my feeling if I tell her about it.

I leaned down on her, and kissed her on her forehead. I felt her stir after I kissed her. She slowly opened her eyes, and smiled at me. I leaned down at her once again. I was ready to kiss her lips, but then we were interrupted by a loud sound and the light from the sky.

Fireworks.

“Wow…” she said in awe. I saw that smile on her face again. It was as if she has forgotten her humiliation a moment ago. It was like everything is all right now, and that nothing ever happened. “It’s beautiful…” she said to me. As she looked at me, I smiled at her. “Yes, it is.” I said. I put my arms around her, and she leaned on my shoulder as we watched the fireworks together. As we watched the fireworks, I felt her hand reach my hand. She looked up at me, and smile.

Maybe… even without words… she understood how much I love her.

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So It's You - Part 5

2010-08-15T06:40:00.000-07:00

I walked the school’s hallway. I noticed the looks on the students’ face as I passed by them. I could hear them snickering. Some looked at me with pity. Some looked at me as if I assassinated someone. I could hear them talking behind my back. And I know the reason behind all of this – it’s Hikaru.

Rumors do spread like wildfire. Before I knew it, everyone knew that I turned down Gui Gui, the most popular girl in school, was turned down by me, Yan Ya Lun because of Rihito-sensei’s crazy granddaughter. I was mad. I was angry. Who are they to judge Hikaru, anyway? They never knew her the way that I do. They could never realize how special she is. The problem with people is that they easily judge a person because of how they perceive them to be, and not really get to know them better. Sometimes, I feel Hikaru is much better than these normal people, because she never judged them the way that other people judges her.

“Ya Lun!” I heard Da Dong call me. I stopped walking, and he came up to me, putting his arm around my neck. “So, I heard about your girl…” he said. I simply glared at him, but that did not stop him to make snide remarks. “She is Rihito-sensei’s granddaughter, no?” he asked. “Hikaru.” I pointed out. “Oh, yes… the seven-year-old girl? I never thought that you’re into… much younger girls… Aren’t you scared that you’ll end up in jail because of corruption of minor?” he said.

I feel my blood boiling on top of my head, but then I have to control my temper. “She is the same age as us.” I snapped at him. “So I heard. But… your girlfriend still acts as if she’s seven years old. Tsk tsk tsk…” Da Dong said. I stopped walking, and turned to face him. “Look, Da Dong.” I said in a firm tone. “If you can’t say anything nice to her, just shut the fuck up.”

I walked away from him. I was pissed off with his snide remarks about Hikaru. I hated the fact that one of my friends could be so narrow-minded like the rest of the people. If only they could see how Hikaru makes my day happy. If only they could see how I changed to be a better man because of her. Unfortunately for them.

That afternoon, I walked to the park, and as usual, I saw Hikaru sitting by the bench. The moment she saw me, her face lightened up. I know she waited a long time for me, because I know, I do. Seeing her just makes me forget all the ridicule and insult I had for the day. It was all worth it, for her. She stood up, and ran towards me. She put her hands behind her back, and swayed from side to side. “I’ve got a surprise for you!” she said in a sing-song tone. “All right, what is it?” I asked. “Guess.” She replied.

I let out a laugh. “Hmmm… let me see… a candy bar?” I asked. She giggled as she shook her head. “One of your origamis?” I asked again. She shook her head again. “What is it?” she asked. Slowly, she took her surprise for me from behind. It was a white teddy bear. “Here!” she said, handing it to me. I took the teddy bear from her hand, and smiled to myself as I looked at it. “That’s my favorite teddy bear, Ah Bu.” She said. I looked at her, and smiled. “Thank you. But… why are you giving it to me?” I asked. “When I feel lonely, I just look at Ah Bu, and talk to him. It helps me a lot. So, I’m giving this to you. Because… you seem so sad lately… and when I go back to Osaka at the end of spring, I know you’ll be sad like me. I have a lot of teddy bears like Ah Bu, but I know that you don’t have one. So I gave it to you… so that when you’re sad, all you have to do is look at Ah Bu, and then think of me… and then I will be there for you. I will be there for you even if I’m far away.” She said.

I stared at her for a long time. My Hikaru. My lovely and gentle Hikaru. Sometimes I wonder what is it that I’ve done to have someone like her in my life. I walked up to her, still staring at her smiling face. She was gentle and fragile. She shimmered under the sunlight. Sometimes, I felt that this girl standing before me is not human, but an angel sent down to save me from my life. “Thank you…” I whispered to her. I pulled her into a hug, and hugged her tightly. I closed my eyes as my fingers brushed through her curly hair. For that one moment, I wanted her to be mine, to make her feel my heart. I wanted so much to tell her that I love her, I wanted to so much to kiss her to let her know how I feel, but I was afraid that would scare her away.

“Ya Lun…” I heard her call my name. “Hmmmm…” I said as hugged her close to me. “I… I like you…” she said. I let out a smile. “I like you too… “ I whispered into her ear. I closed my eyes once again, and let myself feel her warmth. I wanted to be this way forever. I wanted to be with her forever.

--

I sat in front of Rihito-sensei. The chess pieces before me stood still in their place, as I determine what move I’m going to make. Saturdays have always been a chess day with Rihito-sensei, and it also gives me an opportunity to spend more time with him and Hikaru. I have no more moves left. I have a few pawns, a bishop, my king and my queen left, and any minute now, I know he will beat me again.

“I know what you’re thinking, Ya Lun.” He said with a smile. I gave the older man a puzzled look. “You are thinking of a way to protect your queen.” He said. I nodded my head. “For sure, when you make your move on me, it will be checkmate.” I said. “When we play chess, you always tend to protect the queen….” He said. He made a move, and I thanked heavens it was not checkmate. “You sure do love your queen. And you sure are protective of her.” Rihito-sensei commented. He looked up at me, and smiled. “And I understand why. Because without a queen, a king is nothing.” He said.

I gave him another puzzled look. “Rihito-sensei…”
“Do you believe in the saying that behind the success of man, is a woman?”
I nodded my head.
“And do you believe that behind a man’s change is a woman who made him change for the better?”
I stared at him for a long time. “I don’t understand…” I finally said, moving one of my pawns. “A man will not protect a woman with his life without a reason. And the reason will always be one thing.” He let out another laugh as he moved his king. “Love.” He said. He let out a sigh as he looked up at me. “Love will always be the reason for everything, right, Ya Lun?” he said. I nodded my head. “And when you’re in love, you don’t have to find a reason why. You love because you feel love.” He added.

I wonder if Rihito-sensei have been hinting about my feelings for his granddaughter. Would he be mad? Would he think that I’m taking advantage of his granddaughter? Would he ask me to stay away from her? “Have you ever felt the need to protect someone, Ya Lun?” he asked again. “If I do, does it equate to being in love?” I asked. He shook his head. “There are times that you need to protect someone because it is your obligation. There are times that you protect someone because you felt that you have to. And there are times that you need to protect someone because it comes to you as an instinct to protect that person.” He answered. “So, which among them is love?”
“I ask you… which of them do you think is love, Ya Lun?”
“If it’s an obligation, I don’t think it’s love. If you feel that you just have to protect someone just because you felt that you have to, I don’t think it’s love either. Maybe when protecting someone becomes an instinct, it is equal to love?”
“You’re wrong.”

I looked up at him, and saw him make another move on the chess board. “You love someone, and you protect them because you know that having them without you by your side will hurt you. When the one you love is hurt, the pain you are feeling is a hundred times of what that person feels.” He said. I glanced up at him, and saw his lips turn into a smile. “When you hear people say something bad about Hikaru, why do you easily get mad? Is it because you are hurt with what you’re hearing?” he asked. “They never knew Hikaru in the same way that I know her.”
“But you are hurt as well. You are hurt, even though Hikaru could never hear what they say… You protect Hikaru from them because you are hurting for her.”
“And because I protect Hikaru…”
“It means that you love my granddaughter.”

I froze in my seat. Rihito-sensei knew what I really feel for her, and I don’t know what will happen next. “For the past ten years, I’ve been praying to the gods. I’ve been praying to them to watch over Hikaru. I am an old man, Ya Lun, and I don’t have much time here on earth. I can’t always be there to protect her.” He said. “There will be other people willing to protect Hikaru as well. Maybe you just have to give them a chance.” I told him. He let out a laugh, and then he stood up from his seat. I watch him as he retreat back to the kitchen. “The spring dance is in a weeks’ time, isn’t it?” he said. “Yes.” I answered. He looked back at me, and smile. “I bought a lovely kimono for Hikaru for the dance. I hope you’re still interested in taking her to the dance.” He said.

My smile widened upon hearing what Rihito-sensei said. Finally, he agreed to let me escort Hikaru to the spring dance. “I still am.” I said. “Thank you, Rihito-sensei.”

--

The spring dance came.

I waited in Rihito-sensei’s living room. I could feel my heart beating fast with each second that passes. I’m waiting for Hikaru to come out, so that we could go to the dance together.

“Ya Lun…”

I heard that familiar voice. I stood up from my seat, and saw her – my lovely Hikaru. She was wearing a pink kimono with sakura design. Her long curly hair was tied behind, and flowed through her shoulder. The child in her seem to have gone, and was replaced by a young lady. She was lovely – much lovelier than the beginning of spring when I saw her once again.

I was speechless as she walked up to me. She smiled at me, and at that moment, I felt that my world stopped. When I didn’t respond to her call, the smile faded from her lips, and she lowered her head. Her fingers fidget on her kimono. “I… I…” she stuttered. She shyly looked up at me, and I smiled at her. I held her by her shoulder, and looked into her eyes. “You’re beautiful tonight…” I said. Those words were enough to put the smile back on her face. “Grandpa bought it for me!” she said gleefully. She twirled around to let me see how beautiful her kimono is. “Look! Do I look like Cinderella now?” she asked me. I nodded my head in awe. “More beautiful than Cinderella.” I said.

“And since you are Cinderella tonight…” I heard Rihito-sensei said. He looked up at me, and smile. “I expect my princess to be back by midnight.” He said to me. “I will take her home before midnight.” I assured him. I looked at Hikaru, and smiled at her. I extended my hand to her, and she took it excitedly.

This will be a memorable night for the two of us. That, I know.

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So It's You - Part 4

2010-08-14T09:50:00.000-07:00

“So I heard you turned down Gui Gui.” Osamu said as he sat beside me at the study hall. I was busy taking down notes that time when he was talking to me. “Yeah.” I said monotonously. “And I heard there’s this cute chick that visited you here at the uni. I glared at him. I saw that he have this playful smirk on his face. “Watch your words.” I threatened him. He laughed. He didn’t take it seriously. “So, who’s the hot chick?” Osamu asked. “Can you treat girls a little bit nicer, Osamu. She is not a chicken.” I told him in an annoyed tone. “Fine… so, who is this new girl? Where did you meet her? Are you dating her? Is she the reason why you turned down Gui Gui?”

I put down my pen, and face him. “Her name is Hikaru. I met her last year. I am not dating her, for she is a friend. A special friend. And yes, she is the reason why I turned down Gui Gui.” I told him. He gave me another smirk. “Special friend, huh? So you like her?” he asked again. “I do.” I said proudly.

I like Hikaru. I know I’ve said this before. I like everything about her. She can never be compared to any other girls, especially to Gui Gui. “So, when can we meet the girl that made the great Yan Ya Lun fall in love?” he asked again. “I’m planning to make her my date at the spring dance. So, don’t worry. You’ll meet her soon.” I told him. And with that, Osamu stopped asking me questions about Hikaru.

--

I met Hikaru at the park that afternoon. We were just sitting at the bench as she ate the ice cream that I bought her.

Spring dance is coming in a couple of weeks. Last year, I decided not to go, because I found no reason to go at all. This year, I want to go. I want Hikaru to go with me. It would be an honor for me to be her first dance. It would be great to have her beside me as we watch the fireworks light up the night sky. “Hikaru…” I called. She looked at me, and gave me a smile. “Ya Lun.” She said in a sing-song tone. Why is it that when she calls my name, my heart starts beating fast.

“I want to ask you something…” I began. She was all ears to me. “The… the spring dance is coming soon…” She nodded her head as I speak. “And… and I’m wondering if you would like to go with me… I… I can ask permission from your grandpa if you like.”

She just stared at me for a long time. I was nervous, for she might turn me down. “What is a spring dance?” she asked innocently. I could help but laugh at my silliness. Of course, how would she agree to be my date if she doesn’t know where she’ll be going to? “It’s a celebration being held at the beginning of the spring. All the student will go there, and dance.” I explained. Her face lightened up, as if she discovered something. “Ooooohhh like the one Cinderella went to when she met the prince?” she asked. I smiled, and nodded my head. “So, we’ll be going there and dance? You will dance with me?” she asked. “I will certainly dance with you the whole night. And then, we’ll watch the fireworks.” I said. “Fireworks!” she said as she clasped her hands excitedly. I nodded my head, and smiled. “I want to go! I want to go!” she said.

My heart was beating fast once again. “She said yes… she said yes…” I thought over and over again. As soon as I walked her home that afternoon, I decided to talk to her grandpa to ask for his permission. “I don’t think that would be a good idea, Ya Lun…” he said to me worriedly. “You know Hikaru’s condition. She is not like those students at the uni. What if everyone makes fun of her?” he continued. “I’ll be there to protect her.” I told him. He shook his head. “I don’t think you can stay beside her all the time, Ya Lun…” he said.

I lowered my head in dismay. If Hikaru will not go with me to the dance, then I wouldn’t want to come at all. “I’m sorry, Ya Lun. I’m just protecting my princess. Not everyone can understand her condition the way you do… I know because it had happened before, and it only hurt her.” He said. “I understand…” I said in a low voice. I said goodbye to him, and went back to my dorm.

I understand where Rihito-sensei is coming from. I understand that he was just protecting Hikaru. I know it would be hard for the people around me to understand her condition, and not mock her. But she is the one I want to dance with on that night. She is the one I chose to love. Maybe people will not understand why of all the girls chasing me, I chose someone like her. The answer is simple – she is special, and she always makes me feel special. When I met Hikaru, she brought color to my world. She brought laughter and smile to my face. I felt like free man when I’m with her, and I can put all my worries aside. A person my age would start to have all kinds of problems. I know, because I do have problems of my own. Sometimes, I wish I could be as carefree as Hikaru is. I can only be like that when I’m with her. When I’m with her, I was able to do the things I missed during my childhood.

That night, I lay on my bed with her on my thoughts. My Hikaru, my lovely and gentle Hikaru. I know my life would never be the same without her in my life. I know I could never live through another spring with her. As I fell into a deep slumber, I came to a conclusion that I am hopelessly falling in love with this childish girl I met. And I wish… I wish I could let her know how I feel.

--

I was on my way to meet Hikaru that afternoon at the park, when I met up with Gui Gui. “Ya Lun… can we talk?” she asked. “I’m in a hurry, Gui Gui. Can we talk next time?” I asked. “Just give me five minutes of your time. I want to ask you something. I let out a sigh. I had no choice but to hear her out. “All right. What is it, Gui Gui?” I asked. “Who… who is she?”

I knew she was pertaining to Hikaru. I looked into her eyes, and saw the pain written all over it. I know I caused that pain. “Do… do you love her?” she asked. I nodded my head as an answer. “I do.” He said. “She… she’s Rihito-sensei’s granddaughter, isn’t she?” she asked again. I nodded my head. “Ya Lun, you know what kind of girl she is!” she exclaimed. I knew anytime now, she would throw a fit. I could feel anger building up inside me because of what she said. “Tell me, what kind of girl she is?”
“She’s crazy. She’s a cuckoo. She doesn’t act her age. She is someone that’s not fit to be your girl.”
“And what made you think you fit to be my girl? What right do you have to judge her?”
“Why her? Why do you have to love her? Why can’t you just choose me instead?”

I took a deep breath before giving her an answer. “Because she is special.” I said. “She’s special, and she made me feel special. Because she’s innocent and unpretentious. Because with her, I don’t have to worry about a thing. Is that enough reason, Gui Gui?” I said. I saw her slowly lower her head. “I’m sorry that I turned you down, but I have to be true to myself. I am in love with Hikaru, and nothing can change the way my heart beats for her.” I said.

Maybe Rihito-sensei is right. It’s hard for other people to make them understand Hikaru’s condition. For them, she is a crazy girl who had psychological problems, just because she acts like at seven-year-old girl. If only people would stop judging her, and see her the way that I do, maybe they would learn to like Hikaru. It hurts me so to hear people say those things to her. She was more than that. She is not crazy. All I know is that she is the smartest girl I’ve ever met. And I love her for being that.
“Ya Lun…” I heard her call my name with worry. We were sitting by the bench that afternoon. I looked at her, and saw her looking at me worriedly. “Are you OK?” she asked. I smiled, and nodded her head. “I’m OK.” I assured her. “You look sad…”
“I’m sorry if I’m sad.”
“Why are you sad?”
“Because someone said bad things about my special friend.”
“I will be sad as well if someone said bad things about you.”

She smiled. And that smile took away all the negative feelings I have right now. Just her one smile is enough for me to go on, to protect her from the people that misunderstood her. I wanted the world to see what she really means to me, and not to judge her just because of her condition.

My mind drifted again. I felt something on my shoulder, and as I looked beside me, I saw Hikaru’s head on my shoulder. She fell asleep on me. I smiled as I studied her sleeping face. She have a soft rosy white cheeks that I wanted to caress. Her lips are pink, and I want to give her a kiss. “Do you like me?” I whispered. “Do you like me as much as I like you, Hikaru?”

I remember that conversation last spring. She told me she like me. I don’t know if she liked me as a friend, or more than that, and I wish it’s the latter, because I know that I do like her – no, I love her. I love her with all my heart. I wrapped my arms around her protectively. The sun sets down, and I let her sleep peacefully on my shoulder. As I stared into the horizon, I made a silent promise to her. A promise that I will never ever break till the day I die.

I promise that I will love her and protect her for all my life.

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So It's You - Part 3

2010-08-14T08:33:00.000-07:00

Spring day passes by.

I frequent Rihito-sensei’s house to keep company to Hikaru while he is at the uni, giving lectures. With each time that I spent with her, the more that I get to know her. There were a lot of things I learned about her, thing that I discovered with myself while I’m with her, and things that I find in common with her.

Like how she likes strawberry cakes. She loves eating the cake off the plate with her mouth, making her nose filled with icing. It never fails to make me laugh when she dips her face on the cake and have of her face had icings on it. And of course, I would have to help her clean up, because when she do the cleaning, the icing will just scatter all over her.

She loves making origami. Her favorite to make is a paper crane. She had a jar full of paper cranes that she always brings with her.

She loves to read books. Not just books that a child would read, but books that her grandpa had on. Sometimes, you could keep her behaved by handing her a really good book.

She loves to chase after butterflies. One time, I was too busy reviewing for a test, that she almost got lost chasing another fly.

She had an IQ of 150. She would have a bright future ahead of her, if not for that tragedy that happened to her and her family, which made her to be like what she is today.

I could go on and on telling what else I know about her. Without even uttering a word, she have let me into her world to take a peek, and soon I find myself liking what I saw. I look forward to each afternoon I’ll be spending with her, because it means there would be something new that I would find out about Hikaru. I love keeping her company because of this peaceful feeling I had when I’m with her. For once, I could be myself when I’m with her. There is no pressure, just a relaxing afternoon playing and kidding around.

But as days passes, the spring finally came to an end.

I stood outside Rihito-sensei’s house, watching as he put the luggage inside the van. The end of spring means that Hikaru will have to go back to Osaka. She stood beside me, her head hanging low. The moment Rihito-sensei told me that Hikaru have to go back to her family in Osaka, I became sad. But I guess there’s nothing I can do. She was just here to visit her grandpa for the whole spring.

“Hey…” I said in a low voice. She looked up at me. My heart wrenched upon seeing the sad look on her face. “Don’t be sad.” I said. I smiled, and pinched her cheek. She let out a faint smile at me. “Don’t worry, your grandpa said you’ll be back next spring. I’ll still be here next spring.” I assured her. “You will wait for me?” she asked in a hopeful tone. I nodded my head, and smiled. “I will wait for you.” I said. She held out her pinky, and I linked mine to her. “Promise.” I said.

Her grandpa called on her, and we both knew it was time for her to go. She smiled at me, and waved at me. As she got into that car, I was wishing that the seasons would change immediately. I wished that it would be spring once again so that I could see her.

I wish…

--

A year later.

“Ano…”

She shyly bowed towards me, then she handed me a box of chocolates. It was Valentine’s day, and I never expected that Gui Gui would come up to me and try to give me those chocolates. “Ya Lun… daisuki. I… I like you for so long…” she said. I let out a sigh as I looked at her. Gui Gui is a nice and pretty girl, and all the boys in school likes her. It would be flattering on my part to know that she likes me, but sadly, I don’t like her in that way. I can only see Gui Gui as a friend.

“Gui Gui…” I said. She looked up at me. I knew that if I accept her chocolates, she would think that I like her too, but it’s not the case. There is someone else that I’ve liked for so long -someone whom I’ve been waiting. Someone whom I’ve promised to see this springtime “I… I’m sorry, Gui Gui. I can’t accept your chocolates.” I said.

We were interrupted by someone calling my name. “Ya Lun!”

I could remember that happy voice, and the owner of it. I find myself smiling unconsciously as I look up. And there she is, Hikaru. She was smiling and waving at me. Just like the last time I saw her, her long curly locks were in pigtails. She was wearing a pink flowery dress. I felt my heart beating fast upon seeing her. The long wait is over, and my spring came earlier than I thought. Hikaru is here, and I felt like the happiest guy on earth. “Hikaru-chan!” I shouted.

I totally ignored Gui Gui, and ran up to Hikaru. I hugged her tight, and spun her around. I was so excited now that she’s here. Her giggling is like music to my ears, and I love it. I love it when she was happy this way. I am at my happiest when I’m with her. I held her by her shoulder as I grinned from ear to ear. “You’re early!” I said. She smiled, and nodded her head. “Aiba-chan needs to attend to some things so I went with him.” She said. I just nodded her head. “I missed you, Hikaru-chan.” I said. “I missed you too.” She said in a sing-song tone.

I looked into her face. For that moment she was in my arms, it felt that the time stood still. Nothing else really mattered to me, but Hikaru. I see her blushing as I stared at her face. She was so close to me, that I fear she could feel the heart beat raging against my chest. No one had an effect on me like this, no one but only her.

--

We went to the park that afternoon, playing and running around like little kids. As the dusk sets in, I walked her home. I was holding her hand as we walked towards her grandpa’s home. Sometimes, I wonder if Hikaru could feel how cold my hand is as I held her small palms. I wanted to laugh at myself for being such a giddy school boy around Hikaru.

I looked at her. As we walked her eyes were roaming around the flowers that’s surrounding the neighborhood. An ordinary person would never look at it with awe in their eyes. But then again, Hikaru is no ordinary person. She is a special girl. A very special girl.

“Oi! Hikaru-chan!”

We stopped in front of Rihito-sensei’s house. There, I saw him standing, with a much younger man beside him. She lets go of my hand, and ran towards her grandpa. “Dear, you’re back. I was worried you would not be able to find Ya Lun.” Rihito-sensei said. She smiled at him, and shook her head. “I know I will be able to find him no matter what. I was able to find him the first time!” she said proudly.

The younger man approached me, and extended his hand to me. “I’m Aiba. I’m Hikaru’s aniki.” He said. I took his hand, and shook it. “Yan Ya Lun. I’m Rihito-sensei’s student.” I said. “I heard so much about you, Ya Lun. For that past year, Hikaru have been talking to you nonstop.” He said as he laughed. He looked back at his sister, and smiled at him.

Just like last year, I found myself in the comforts of Rihito-sensi’s house. There was a cup of coffee in my hand, and I sat in front of Rihito-sensei and his brother. “When Hikaru found out that I need to go to Tokyo for some business matters, she insisted to go.” Aiba began. “Usually, every spring, we send her to grandpa for a change of scenery. The doctors said it might help with her condition. Nothing was the same during the past few years we send her here, but last year, something have changed.”

He looked at his sister, and let out a smile. Hikaru was making origami once again while we “grown ups” had a talk. “She easily throws tantrums. There are times that she would not speak for a long time, and just play with her toys. But last year, when she came back from her vacation, she became a behaved little girl. And, she always talks about a new friend she met while staying with grandpa. She was talking about you, and meeting you again. Hikaru… never had a friend. She always stays indoors. When she was young, kids made fun of her because of the way she’s acting. Even until now. We sometimes have to keep her from the world so that nobody could hurt her. She never had a friend, but you… you have been gentle and kind to her. And so, I was glad to finally meet you. To thank you for being a friend to my sister.” Aiba said.

I was flattered by what he said. I never thought that that small act of kindness could mean a lot to Hikaru’s family. “Is there hope for her? To get well?” I asked as I eyed on her. “I don’t know… we’re not losing hope. I believe that one day my sister will get well, and she will live a normal life. But for now, we all have to take care of her.” Aiba said.

Just like Aiba, I believe that one day, Hikaru will be back to her old self. And when that happens, I wish that she will remain as innocent as she is today.

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So It's You - Part 2

2010-08-13T11:38:00.000-07:00

Masaki Hikaru.

That was her name. Apparently, she is Rihito-sensei’s granddaughter. I watched as she sat on the floor, making origami. I sensed something unique in her. She was different from the girls her age. I watched as she held up her newly made paper crane in the air, and looked at it like a prized possession. Her eyes beamed as she looked at her creation.

Rihito-sensei came up to me, holding two cups of coffee for the two of us. He looked at her granddaughter, and smiled. “You must be wondering, why she seems different, don’t you, Ya Lun?” he said. I looked his way embarrassingly, it was exactly what’s in my thoughts right now. He looked at me, and smiled. “She is special, Ya Lun. That’s what made her different. She is special.” He said. I still didn’t know what Rihito-sensei meant by that. Hikaru-chan did tell me a while ago that she is special. All of us are special, right? So what made Hikaru different and what made her difference special.

“She is a child. She will always be a child.” I heard Rihito-sensei said. “A child? She looks like she’s the same age as I am.” I said. He looked at me, and nodded his head. “She is seventeen years old. Yes, she is the same age as you… but you see… she is, and will always be a child.” He said. He let out a sigh, and watched her granddaughter as she played with paper planes. “Seven years ago, there was a tragedy in our family. And that tragedy had a big impact on her. For a year, she did not talk, and we were all worried about her. Then, the day came and she came back to us… but she was not the same Hikaru that we knew. It was like she… she was stuck being a seven-year-old kid. And since then…”

I finally understood what Rihito-sensei meant by her being special. “Since then, she remained a child.” He said with a smile. “Did her family sent her to the specialist?” I asked. I know I have no right to intrude to their lives, but I couldn’t help but ask. “Yes, a lot of times. They all said that what happened to her is caused by the trauma she experienced. They tried to cure her, but to no avail.” He said.

I felt my heart breaking the moment I eyed Hikaru. She is 17 with a mind of a 7 year-old kid. That explains the eccentricity I saw in her when I met her at the park, and the child-like way of speaking when she followed me at my dorm. “She is an innocent, young girl, and an old man like me tends to worry a lot about her. She is my only granddaughter, and she is my princess. But thinking about what had happened, I see this as a blessing from the heavens. It would always be a parent’s wish for their children not to grow up, so that they could enjoy their innocence and youth. But as for Hikaru…” Rihito-sensei let out a sigh. Words could not explain it, but I do understand what he feels. He loves his granddaughter so much, but she always worries him.

Hikaru looked back at us, and smiled. “Look, grandpa! I made a paper crane!” she said. He smiled, and nodded his head. “That’s a pretty paper crane, Hikaru-chan.” He said lovingly. She stood up, and gave her old man a kiss on the cheek. Rihito-sensei hugged her. “Grandpa, can I be friends with him?” she asked, looking at me. Rihito-sensei let out a laugh. “Of course, Hikaru! He is a nice boy. And, he’s smart too.” He said. Her eyes lightened up once again. “Really? Like grandpa?” she asked. He nodded his head. She looked at me, and smiled. “Can I be your friend?” she asked. Her eyes were filled with hope as she looked at me. I know I wasn’t that nice to her a while ago, but then she was still willing to be my friend. I couldn’t help but agree. I nodded her head, and smiled at her. “Really? Then, will you play with me at the park?” she asked. “Hikaru-chan, Ya Lun needs to study.” Rihito-sensei said. She gave his old man a pout. “Why? Isn’t he special, like me? When I saw him at the park today, I thought he is special.” She said. I smiled upon hearing what she said. “I am special. But… I need to study or your grandfather will fail me.” I said.

She looked at her grandpa, and give her puppy eyes. “Then, grandpa… can you not fail Ya Lun so that he can play at the park with me?” she asked. I felt my cheeks reddened at what she said. Rihito-sensei just laughed at her. “I’m sorry, dear. I can’t do that.” He said. My heart wrenched upon seeing that smile slowly fade from her face. “But we can still play at the park.” I said. At that instant, her face brightened up once again. “Really?” she asked. I nodded my head. “After my classes, we can go to the park and play. Do you like to play ball?” She nodded her head. “I have a yellow ball with me!” she beamed. “Then, tomorrow after my classes, we can go to the park and play. Just promise me you’ll wait for me at the park, and don’t chase that something again so that you won’t get lost, all right?” I said. She nodded her head. “I will. And besides…” she said. “I know that when I’m lost, you’ll be there to find me.”

--

As soon as the school bell rang, I took all my things and rushed outside the school. I ran towards the park to meet up with Hikaru. As I stopped to catch my breath, I saw her sitting still by the bench, that same bench were we first met. “Hikaru-chan!” I called on her. She looked at my direction, and smiled at me. “Ya Lun!” she called. I ran up to her, and she stood up the moment I approached her. “I’m sorry, I’m late.” I said as I catch my breath. She simply smiled, and shook her head. “It’s OK. I like to wait for you.” She said. I folded my arms, and smirked at her. “Then, what if I never came?” I asked. “I’d still wait for you.” She said innocently. I smiled at her. With someone like her, it’s hard to break a promise. There was something in me that’s been wanting to see her smile this way, and if the only way to make her smile is to keep my promise to her, then I will never let her down.

The whole afternoon, we were playing catch. I felt like a kid again while I’m with her. Since I grew up, I have never laughed this much when I’m with her. I’ve never felt this hyper and excited when I’m with her. Honestly, since I was young, all I did was study. I was never the typical little boy that plays outside their house with the other kids. All I did since I was young is to study. And so, here I am, playing like I never played before in my entire life. At the back of my mind, I was thankful to all the deities in heaven for letting me meet Hikaru… and the old saying is right after all – you don’t know what you’ve been missing till it arrives.

“I’m tired.” She pouted at me. I shrugged her shoulder, and led her to the bench. “I’m tired too. You exhausted me.” I said. She looked at me, and smiled cheekily. “You seem to enjoy playing catch, so I didn’t say a word.” She said. “Well, if you were tired you should have told me a while ago.”
“I can’t.”
“Why?”
“Because you looked so happy back there.”

I stopped, and let out a smile. “Look…” she pointed at me. I gave her a puzzled look. “You look much cuter when you smile. I bet all the girls will like you. Just like how liked you the first time we met.” She said. I felt my heart beating fast as she said those words to me. She liked me. It keeps on ringing on my head, and I could only feel much giddier. “You… like me?” I asked. She nodded her head. I don’t know if she’s innocent enough to know which kind of like she meant. It could mean having a crush on me, or it could mean she’s interested in me. “You… like me…” I repeated. She likes me.

And I have to admit that I’m starting to like Hikaru as well.

Her innocence.
Her naivety.
Her childishness.
Her silliness.
Her smile.
Her pout.
Everything about her just makes me… like her. Just her, simply her. I find it amazing that I am liking her. One minute, she was annoying the hell out of me. The next minute, I find myself pitying her. The other minute, I find myself wanting to make her smile even more.

“Oh…” she exclaimed. She held out her finger, and a yellow butterfly landed on her small fingers. “Miss Butterfly…” she said in amazement. Her black orbs sparkled as she looked at the butterfly. I can see the excitement and amazement on her face as she looked at the butterfly.

Rihito-sensei is right. She is special. She will always be special. And it’s not because of her condition. She may be different from any normal person, but she had something that a normal person wouldn’t have – her innocence.

The butterfly flew away, and she could only watch sadly as it leaves her hand. “Bye bye, Miss Butterfly.” She said sadly. Then, she turned to me and smile. “I was chasing Miss Butterfly yesterday.” She said. Now, it figures. The reason why she came to me, was because she was chasing that butterfly. “But I lost her along the way. Grandpa told me that I don’t have to chase it. He said I just have to wait for it to land on me… and so I waited. And today, Miss Butterfly landed on me. I’m so happy!” she said.

And she is philosophical, just like her grandfather whom she looks up to. I know that meeting Hikaru is more than a mere chance. It was as if she was destined to come into my life to impart a very important lesson to me.

It was as if she was sent to me, to make this springtime a special one. Just like her.

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So It's You - Part 1

2010-08-13T01:38:00.001-07:00

Springtime is here once again.
I sat on the bench as I watched the people pass me by. The park is filled with different beautiful flowers. The grass is much greener than the last time. The petals from the Sakura tree are being blown by the cook breeze, as if making an illusion of pink snow.

And this is the fifth spring that I’ve been sitting here all alone.

I remember the very first springtime that I was here. I remember that I was minding my own business. I had no care in the world. All I wanted in mind is to pass Philosophy with flying colors. I was not the guy that would take note of all the beautiful things around me. I wasn’t who I am right now, not until I met Hikaru.

--

8 years ago.

I clutched the book from my hand as I found an empty bench at the park. I let out a sigh as I sat. It was the third week of school, and right now, we’ll be having a major quiz in Philosophy. I was supposed to be at the library to study for the quiz, but the library turned out to be a circus, as it was too noisy inside. The librarian didn’t even tell off those damn students. And so, I found the peace and quiet I need here at the park.

I was reading the third chapter of my Philosophy text book, when I felt someone sat beside me. I glance beside me, and I noticed a girl with long, curly black hair. She was wearing a pink gypsy dress, and her hair was pulled up in pigtails. I chose to ignore her, and continue reviewing for the dress.

“Hello!”

I looked at her, and she was smiling at me. I ignored her once again. “Are you new here?” she asked. I didn’t answer her. I continued to review, because Philosophy will determine if I would stay at this university or not, and staying here is much important that greeting her back. “Why so serious?” she hissed like Joker. I glanced up at her again, and saw her pouting. “Excuse me, but I’m studying here.” I said. “Studying should be done in libraries, not at the park. Grandpa always tells me that.” She said.
She had this giddy smile on her face. I looked at her, and observed her closely. I think there’s something wrong with this girl. “Well, your grandpa is wrong. Sometimes, you can’t study inside a library.” I snapped at her. She fidgeted her fingers on her dress as she looked at me. I was getting annoyed by her staring at me, but I decided to ignore her. There’s no use fussing over some childish girl. “Philosophy in Life by Arthur Tien. I like that book.” She commented. I gave her a glare. “I read that once. Grandpa made me read that. I like it.” She said with a silly grin on her face. “Seriously?” I asked her. She nodded her head. “Grandpa said if I read a lot of books, I will be smart. Just like him!” she said proudly. I could tell her grandpa is her hero. I closed my book, and turned my attention to her. “You finished this book?” I asked her. She nodded her head. “Are you also taking up pre-law at the uni?” I asked. She shook her
head. “I don’t study. I’m special.” She said proudly.

I don’t know whether I’ll believe her or not. Something is wrong with this girl, that’s for sure. Then, I decided not to mind her, no matter what. Philosophy quiz will start in a few hours, and I need to absorb everything that I could. There was a blissful silence between us, when she finally broke it by squealing. “Eeeeeee! Look! Look!” she said, pointing at the other side. I turned my book down, and look at the direction she’s pointing to. “What? What? What happened? Where is it?!” I asked. She looked at me, and let out a laugh. She was fooling me. “I saw a cute rose over there!” she said.
I counted one to ten silently, trying my best not to lash it all out at her. Then, she gave me that pout again. “Why so serious?” she asked. “Look, Joker.” I snapped. “I have a big test coming up. Now, if you will just let me study in peace –“
“You won’t have any quiz today.”
I gave her a startled look. “Excuse me?” I asked. “No quiz today!” she said. She stood up, hopped happily away from me. Finally, some peace for me.

--

I entered the room, and found Osamu-san by the door. “No quiz today.” He informed me. I gave him a puzzled look. “Professor Rihito is absent today. “ he said. I let out a sigh of relief. I wasn’t able to memorize all the things I need to memorize today because of that girl, and good thing Professor Rihito is not around. “Where is Professor Rihito?” I asked. “He had to take a leave because his granddaughter is coming today from Osaka, and he have to look after her.” Osamu said.

“Did somebody said Prof’s granddaughter?” Da Dong, another classmate of ours, asked, joining us. I let out another sigh. Da Dong is the uni’s biggest playboy, and if the topic is about girls, he gets interested easily. “Don’t be fooled, Da Dong. I heard his granddaughter is a little cuckoo… if you know what I mean.” Osamu said. Then, he turned to me. “So, Ya Lun…” he said. “Want to go and eat out with us? There’s this new Izakaya outside the school. “ I smiled at him, and shook his head. “I think I’ll use this opportunity to study more. I don’t want to fail.” I answered. I could see Da Dong’s eyes roll. “As expected of the scholar, Yan Ya Lun.” He said. The two of them laughed at me. I just gave them dagger looks. “Well, if you want to join us, the Izakaya is just across the uni. You can’t miss it.” Osamu-san said. I said goodbye to the two, and headed back to my dorm.

--

I stretched out my hands as I prepared to study. As I was opening the book, I noticed some shadow by the window. I stood up, and looked outside, but I couldn’t find anything related to that shadow. I sat back, and began to read, when I heard someone whistling. I let out a groan. So much for my peace and quiet once again. “Hey! Hey! Hey!” I heard someone say. I stood up, and opened the window to look if anyone’s outside. “Anybody out there?” I asked. “Over here!” I heard someone say. I looked around, but no one is in sight. “Where?” I asked. “Down here.”

I looked down, and saw her again. She had that childish grin on her face once again. “Hello!” she waved at me. “Miss, I have no plans of playing hide and seek with you…” I said. I was about to close the window, but she stopped me. “Wait!” she said. I opened the window once again. She pouted as she fidget on her dress again. “Can… can you help me?” she asked. She bit her lips after she speaks. “I… I’m lost… I… I couldn’t find my grandpa.” She said. “You’re lost?” She looked up at me, and nodded her head. She was on the verge of crying, I could tell that. “I was walking at the park… and… and… I… and… there… I… I walked… I… was trying to follow… that… and… and… I got here… and… and…”
I don’t know why. Although how she explains herself is child-like and I can’t understand a thing she was saying, but I find it amusing. I found myself smiling at her. “And… and I saw you… and I said that’s the nice boy in glasses, even though he was scowling at me a while ago… and… and…, so I followed you here… so… here I am.” She said. She lowered her head as she pouted. Anytime now, I’m scared she would wail like a baby.

“So, let me get this. You were following something, you got here, you lost your way, then you saw me and followed me, and hoped that I can help you?” I asked. She slowly nodded her head. “Do you remember where you grandpa lives?” I asked her. She shook her head. “All I know is that he lives in this small house filled with a lot of books. And there’s a colorful glass. And there’s a daisy outside.” She said. I feel sorry for this girl. She must be really new around the place, that’s why she got lost. Although I know I need to study for another exam, I couldn’t let this girl go walking alone around the uni. What is someone made fun of her, or what if someone harms her?
“All right,” I said. She looked up at me. I see her face brighten up as I smiled. “Let me get my jacket. I’ll help you find your grandpa.”

--

We walked around the block for a while, trying to find her house. I guess we were walking for almost an hour. “I’m tired…” she complained. I just kept my silence. She looked up at me, and smiled. “Piggyback me, please?” she said. “No.” I said firmly. She gave me another pout. “Please?” she said. I let out a sigh and then carried her on my back. I need to find her house soon.

“So, aside from a colorful glass and daisies, what else do you remember about your house?” I asked. She paused for a while to think. “Daisies!” she exclaimed. “And?”
“There are roses too.”
“And?”
“A mailbox.”
“And?”
“White fence.”

I looked around the area, and saw that all the houses around the area are identical. All of them have mailboxes and white fences. “You’re not helping me, miss. What’s the name of your grandpa, and do you know his number? Maybe we can call him to pick you up?” I suggested. “No number.” She said. This is getting harder than I thought. I wish she could help me find her grandpa really soon.

“Ah! There he is!” She said. I looked at the house she’s pointing too, and I saw a familiar old man by the porch. I saw his face lightened up upon seeing her. He immediately ran up to us, and she got off my back to give his grandpa a hug. “Hikaru! You worried me! Are you all right?” he asked. She smiled at him, and nodded her head. “The nice boy in glasses helped me, grandpa. He’s really really nice!” she said. The old man looked at me, and gave me a warm smile. “Thank you, Yan Ya Lun. Thank you for taking care of my granddaughter, and for taking her back here.” He told me. I smiled at him, and nodded my head. “You’re welcome, Professor Rihito.” I replied.

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Say That You Love Me - Chapter 8

2010-08-08T01:45:00.000-07:00

A Fool's Kiss

You know I'd do anything for you
You know, I'd a make a fool of myself just for you
Loving you had made me feel like I'm the most stupid girl in this world
Because even if there is someone right here
Willing to love me unconditionally...
I still choose to love you...
And it's killing me inside.

--

“Ella! Ella!”

Ella looked back, and saw Chun running up to her. He had this happy smile on his face, and that smile is her proof that we she had plan had succeeded. “Hey, Chun.” she greeted with a smile on her face. As he got near her, he pulled her into a hug. “Thank you...” he said to her. “Thank you for making this the happiest day in my life. Thank you for your help. Thank you because if it wasn't for you, I will not be able to meet Tiffany. And if it wasn't for you...” He let go of her, and smiled at her. “If you didn't ask me to come to the park and threatened me, if you didn't send Tiffany this afternoon, then maybe... I would have lost my chance with her. Thank you, because of you, I had the courage to tell her that I like her. Thank you because you are the reason why we're together now.” he said.

She was expecting that from him, but his confirmation could only break her heart even more. Now, she truly lost the fight. She lost the only boy she loves all her life. She regrets what she have done, but she knows that if she didn't do those things, it would break her heart even more to see Chun sad. She forced a smile on her face. “Congratulations. You deserve it.” she said. He held her hand, ans squeezed it. “I don't know what I'd do without you. You're my lucky charm, do you know that?” he said. Ella slowly nodded her head. “I... I know...” she said. Then, he pulled her into another hug. “Thank you, Ella. You're the best best friend anyone could ever have. I love you so much!” he said.

She wanted to pretend that those five words he said is true, and that he loves her more than a friend. But she knew those words only meant that he loves her as is best friend, and nothing more. She bit her lips, and closed her eyes, trying to stop the tears that were swelling from her eyes. She wanted to stay this way with him. She wanted to keep him in her arms, and never to let him go, but then he was never hers to keep in the first place. For him, she will only be a best friend – the one whom he turns to when he needed help, when he needed companion. Nothing hurts more than the fact that she is just a best friend.

She pulled herself away from Chun, and he could only give her a puzzled look. “I'm so happy for you...” she said, letting out a faint smile. He looked closely at her, and noticed the frail expression on her face. “Are you all right? Why do you look sad?” he asked. She nodded her head. “I am. I... I just don't feel well today. I'm sorry... I'm sorry if you think I'm not happy for you. You know that I am...” she said. He smiled, and shook his head. “No, it's not like that. I thought maybe you feel sick... and I'm right. You better get inside the house and take a rest. I'll see you later.” he said. She nodded her head at him.

Without saying goodbye, she turned her back on him. The smiled abruptly disappeared as she ran inside the house. As she reached up her room, she closed the door behind her. The tears she was trying to hold a while ago suddenly fell endlessly from her eyes. She clutched onto her chest as she felt her heart being torn into a million pieces. “Why?” she asked herself. “Why do I have to break my own heart? Why is it that I have to be in love with my own best friend?” She slid down to the floor, and curled up as she cried her heart out. She have to accept the fact that Chun will never be hers, and that she will have to share him with someone else.

--

Lego sat on the grassy field, his eyes were wandering around. It has been days since he confessed to Ella, and somehow, he still have not gotten over it.

[Flashback]
“Will you give me that chance, Ella? Will you give me the chance to love you?” he asked. His eyes were full of hope as he gazed on her face. He could see the surprised in her eyes. Not only was she surprised, he felt that she was hesitant to answer him. “I...” she muttered. She lowered her head, and slowly shake her head.

That instant, Lego knew what her answer is. He felt his world shattered before him. The bouquet of flowers fell on the ground. He felt weak upon seeing her answer. He wasn't ready for this. He thought that spending as much time as he could with her would make her instantly accept her, but he was wrong. “I'm sorry...” Ella said, looking up at him. “It would be unfair for you, Lego. I can't be with you while I'm loving -”
“Chun.”
She bit her lips, and slowly nodded her head.
[End f Flashback]

He clenched his fist as he remembered that day. It took him a lot of courage to tell her how he feels for her, only to be rejected. He wanted to hate Chun for making Ella fall for him. He wanted to hate him for not seeing her, for neglecting her, and for hurting her. He know fully understand how she feels now. He knew it was hard for Ella, because she can't tell Chun that he loves her, and instead, she helped him get the girl he really loves. “i wish I am Chun... I wish you could love me too...” he thought.

Lego had always known that Ella is in love with Chun. There's no denying whenever her eyes sparkles whenever he's around. She would get out of her way just to be with Chun, even if it means making a fool out of herself. And that's what made him fall for her – her silent efforts to be with Chun made him think that any guy she would love would be lucky to have her, and he wanted to be that lucky guy. When Tiffany came into Chun's life, he started to neglect her. He could see the hurt in her eyes whenever she sees them together. He made a lot of effort to make her smile, to divert her attention. They were always together, and he thought it was the right time to let her know how he feels. But in the end, Ella have hurt her.

“Lego...”

He looked back, and he saw Chun walking up to him. The other boy sat beside him, and he chose to ignore him. “Everyone's worried about you. Why are you so quiet lately?” he asked. He let out a faint smile, and shook his head. “I'm tired of being the class clown.” he said. Chun just laughed at what he said. “I noticed you've been quiet since the day after you said you'll be confessing to the girl you like. You never even told me what happened... want to talk about it.” Chun asked. Lego smiled bitterly as he toyed a grass with his finger. “She rejected me.” he said. Chun suddenly felt sad for his friend. “Oh...” he said. “He is the only girl I've ever liked. I was a fool to believe I would have my chance with her... but... but she can't accept me...” Lego continued. Then, he looked at Chun. “She's in love with someone else.” he said.

“So, this girl have a boyfriend?” Chun asked. Lego shook his head. “She's in love with someone who can't love her back. And worst, the guy she's in love with is her closest friend. That guy is in love with one of her friends... she said... it would be unfair for me if she give me a chance while she's still in love with him. I have no other choice but to let her go.” Lego said. “You're giving up on her?” Chun asked. Lego just shrugged his shoulder. “Part of me wants to give her up, but whenever I see her, I wanted to prove to her that she deserves to be loved as well. I want to be there for her when she's hurt. When she's sad, I want to be the one that will make her smile. But... she chose to reject my love for her...” he said. He let out a chuckle as he smile. “She doesn't seem stronger than she looks to be. She... she's weak. And I want to protect her.” he said.

Chun smiled at him, and put his arms around him. “It seems that you really love this girl. Lego, don't give up on her. Who knows one day, she'll realize that she can only be truly be happy with you. She's one lucky girl to be loved by a clown like you.” he said. Lego laughed, and shook his head. “I don't know... maybe one day I'll try to ask her again. As of now, let me be broken hearted. Not everyone is like you, who gets to be like by a girl that he likes too.” he said. Chun nodded his head. “Some people have luck.” he said. Lego nodded his head. “Yeah...” he said. He let out a playful smirk at him. “You're one hell of a lucky bastard.”

--

Saturday.

Chun walked back and forth by the swing as he waited for Ella to come. His heart was thumping with each second that passes by. “Chun!” he heard her call. He looked back, and smiled at him. “Sorry, I'm late.” she said. “It's OK. I'm glad you're here.” he said. “What kind of help do you need?” she asked him. “Tiffany and I are going out on a date today.”
“And...”
“I need help.”
“With what?”
“With everything.”

Ella couldn't help but laugh at his best friend. “Look, I'm in some way as inexperienced as you are when it comes to going out on a date.” she said. Chun nodded his head in agreement. “That's why I need your help.” he said. She could only give him a puzzled look. “You need help with clothes? Restaurant? Flowers?” she asked. Chun shook his head. “Got all of those things figured out.” he said. She folded her arms, and raised an eyebrow at him. He let out a boyish smile as he scratched his head. “So, what kind of help do you need?” she asked. “You know what they do at a date, right?” Chun said shyly. “Eat out, watch a movie, stroll at the park...” She paused, and looked skeptically at him. “kiss?”

Chun took a deep breath, and nodded his head. “I don't know how. To kiss, I mean.” he said. With that, Ella burst out laughing, much to his annoyance. “Wei!” he said in an annoyed tone. “You don't know how to kiss?” she asked again. She could see her best friend's face turn crimson red because of embarrassment. “Don't you watch porn or something? I swear I saw a stack of CDs on your room the other day.” she teased. “Ella!”
“Fine, fine... what is it about it?”
“I don't know how to kiss a girl properly, and I'm scared that if I kiss Tiff, she would think I'm a lousy kisser. And she might break up with me.”
“A kiss isn't just everything in a date, Chun.”
“But it's something memorable. She is my first girlfriend. Tonight is our first date. We'll have our first kiss. And I want this moment to be memorable for the two of us.”
“So what do you want me to do, teach you how to kiss?”
“Yes.”

Ella was shocked at his answer. She felt her heart racing against her chest. “You're going to steal my first kiss for some lesson?” she shouted at him. “Ella, please don't be mad.” Chun said. “How can I not be mad?! This is insane, Chun!” she said. “Ella, look... don't you think it's a perfect idea. At least I get to be your first kiss, and you're mine as well. You won't have to worry about being sloppily kissed by Joe Cheng.” he teased. This made Ella even more mad. “Chun! I hate you now!” she said.

She turned her back on him, and went back to her house. Chun followed him. “Ella... Ella I'm sorry. OK, I won't ask again... but think of it. We both wanted our first kiss to be memorable.” he defended. “Yeah, yeah... you will get my first kiss because you want to know what it's like to kiss. Thanks, Chun!” she said sarcastically. Chun let out a sigh. As they reached her door, he held her hand, and she turned to face him. “Maybe I want to kiss you first. Maybe I've always wanted to kiss you. Ella, you're my best friend. I'm the guy who's always comes in first in your life. And this kiss... this first kiss... it's something special... and it's something I want to give to my best friend. Because you... you will always be special to me. Do you understand now?” he said.

She looked into his eyes, and he could see the sincerity in his eyes. “Why... why me?” she asked. “Because you are the very first girl in my life.” he said with a smile. She looked away from him, hesitating whether she'll agree with what he wants, or not. She knew in her heart that this is all that she have ever wanted, but she also knew that if she kissed him, it will break her heart even more. But then, she have to take his risk. And if there's one person she would want to give her first kiss, it would be the man she loves – the man standing before her, her best friend.

“OK. Just this once, Chun.” she said. “Thank you for trusting me.” he said. He moved closer to her. His hands cupped her cheeks as his faced inched closer to hers. She closed her eyes, and waited for that one second to happen. Then, she felt his lips against her. She felt his warm and soft lips kissing her. It was the most beautiful feeling she have ever felt, the most magical moment she had in her entire life. She felt like at this very moment, Chun was hers, and only hers, and that he loves her in the same way that she loves him. If this is a dream, she wanted to stay this way forever.

“Chun! Ella! What the hell are you two doing?!”

The two broke their kiss. By the door, they saw Joe glaring at the two. Chun was shocked at what had happened. He looked at Joe, then, back at Ella. “I... I have to go...” he said. “Chun?! Come back here, you bastard!” Joe shouted. She was about to follow him, but her sister stopped her. “Jie... stop it!” she said. Joe glared at her sister. “What's happening, mei? Why is he kissing you? I thought he have a girlfriend already?!” she said. Ella bit her lips, as she lowered her head. “I wanted this... I... wanted this as well... if there's someone to blame, it's me...” she said in a low voice.

Joe looked closely at her sister, and she could see the tears in her eyes. She felt her own heart breaking for her only sister. “Mei...” she said softly. “Are you... are you in love with your best friend?” she asked. Ella looked up at her. The tears began to fall from her eyes as she nodded her head. “Yes. I am...” she said. “And this is the only way I know I could tell him that I love him... because I know he could never love me back...” she said. Joe held her sisters hand, and hugged her. She wished there's something she could do to take away all her pain right now, but for now, all she could do is let her cry on her shoulder.

--

“You're only hurting yourself... do you know that? Chun only sees you as a friend. Maybe it's about time that you give other people a chance to love you. You deserve to be loved as well...”

--

“Hey...”

He looked back. She smiled as she walked up to him. As she stood in front of him, she lowered her head. “I'm sorry... for the last time...” she said in a soft voice. “I understand... you don't have to apologize...” he answered. “I know what you're feeling, because I'm feeling it too. And I know, it's unfair of me to reject you...”
“Chun will always be the one in your heart, and I understand. All I can do is be a friend to you...”

She looked up at him. And just like before, there was a spark of hope in his eyes. “I don't want to love him anymore...” she said softly. A tear fell from her eye as she speaks. “It... it has been hurting me constantly... and I don't want to feel this pain anymore.” she said. He cupped her cheek with his palm, and wiped the tears from her eyes. “Can I take away your pain? Can I try to make you unlove him?” he asked with a hopeful tone. She closed her eyes, and nodded her head. “Yes...” she said.

“I'm giving you the chance, Lego.”

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Me & My Gay Boss - Episode 10

2010-08-07T13:19:00.000-07:00

Episode 10 – I Think So

Danson entered the elevator. As he was about to press the close button, he heard someone rushing up to the elevator. He then pressed on the open button, and waited for that person to get inside. “Thank you.” he heard a familiar voice say. He looked beside him, and he saw Ella. He swallowed hard as he eyed her, for he could feel his heart beating fast. Ella looked up at him with the same surprised look. He smiled at her, trying to compose himself. “Good morning, Ella.” he said. “G-good morning.” she stuttered. She looked away from him, avoiding his gaze.

It was difficult to be in one closed space with Ella. He knew he should have forgotten what happened that night. It still had an effect on him. And the truth is, he found it hard to forget just what happened. The silence is killing him. He felt like after that one night stand with Ella, things have already changed between them, and he hates that. “How's your weekend?” he asked. “Fine.” she answered monotonously. He was getting nervous because of the way she's answering. He hates this new awkwardness between them. “Are you OK?” he asked worriedly. She looked up at him, and nodded her head. “Yeah... I guess...” she said. “Good for you.” he said with a sigh. He thought that Ella have already forgotten about what happened, and he knew he have to. But somehow, he can't He spent two days of sleepless nights trying to figure out how to take off that memory from his mind. She glanced up to him, and noticed the seriousness in his face. “About last Friday night...” she asked. Danson shot a glare at her. “What about it?” he asked. “You and Jiro... broke up... right?” she asked. “Yeah... how could you forget? You were there, remember?” he said in an annoyed tone. “We're supposed to forget everything, right?”
“The part that happened while we were drunk, yes. The part before that, no.”
“All right... just checking... so... you forgot?”

Danson let out a groan. “Ella... we talked about it!” he said. “I know! Just checking. I forgot, all right? What happened?” she asked. He folded his arms, and looked away from her. “Let's not talk about it.” he said. The seconds seems to be much longer while he is standing next to her. His thoughts suddenly became wild, as memories of her and him that night flowed though his mind. He swallowed hard as he glanced at her. Looking at her neck, he had the urge to kiss it. He closed his eyes, and bit his lips. He have to stop thinking dirty thoughts about Ella. And besides, he's gay, right?

Ding!

He couldn't stand another second of being with her, because he knew he might forget that he is her boss, and that he is gay. As soon as the elevator door opened, he immediately got out, and walked straight to his office. As he closed the door behind him, he let out a sigh of relief. “What is happening to me? Get a hold of yourself, Danson! You can't think of Ella in a lustful way... she's your subordinate, your friend, and you are gay, damn it!” he thought. He brushed his hair with his fingers as he took a deep breath.

--

“Ella... can you give the layout to the boss for approval?” Sam asked as he placed the layout on her table. Ella gave him a mortified look. “Why me?!” she exclaimed. Her colleague gave her a puzzled look. “Why not you? You're the girlfriend, right?” he said. He shook his head, and left Ella with the layout. Ella stared at it for a long time. “Should I go, and see him?” she thought. Guess, it's inevitable. Danson is he boss. Even though she wouldn't want to see him, she will have to face him. She will have to set aside this weird feeling she have in order to have a peaceful working relationship with him.

“You can do this, Ella...” she said to herself. She took a deep breath, and took the layouts. She then marched onto Danson's office. “Ella, is there anything you need?” she heard Danson's secretary asked. She looked at her, and nodded his head. “The boss is not around.” Annie said. “Where is he? Meeting?” she asked. “He said he needed a time off today, so if there's anything you need, you can tell me and I'll inform him as soon as he comes back.” Annie said.

Upon hearing that, Ella sighed with relief. At least she was saved from facing Danson – a.k.a. The-gay-boss-she-had-a-one-night-stand-with. It would be too awkward for her to face him right now, since she lied about forgetting what happened that night. And simply because of what happened, she was beginning to have lustful thoughts about her boss. “Great!” she exclaimed happily, which made Annie confused. She composed herself, and made a serious expression on her face. “I mean, OK. Can you ask the boss to take a look at these layouts for the next issue? Sam needs an answer by tomorrow.” Ella said. “All right, I'll inform the boss.” Annie said.

As Ella went back to her desk, she let out a sigh of relief. At least for the day, she won't have to see him. She just needs to worry about tomorrow.

--

“I can't believe you asked me to go to the gym.” Joe said as he and Danson entered an exclusive gym. Danson clutched onto his bag as they walked inside. “I'm so stressed out lately...” he said with a sigh. Joe looked at him, and smiled. “I know, girl... with the breakup and everything... you must really stressed out.” he said. He paused, and faced him. “Look...” he said, pointing at his forehead. “You've got some wrinkles, dearie. And you've got eyebags. Looks like you didn't have enough sleep!” he exclaimed. Danson just nodded his head. “Ella didn't made me sleep for the past two days...” he answered silently. “Looks like you've been tiring yourself to work just to forget Jiro. Dear, that's not a good way to move on. One way to move on is find a replacement for him.” Joe said. “Where can I find a replacement for the greatest love of my life?” he asked.

Just then, a handsome guy passed by them. He looked at Joe, and winked at him. Danson could see his friend gave the guy a flirtatious look. “Aren't you a bit concerned about your image, Joe? What if everyone finds out that you're gay?” he asked. Joe looked at him, and rolled his eyes. “To hell with image and reputation! I want to be happy, and the only way to be happy is to be who you really are. I am gay. I'm proud of that. And even if people hate me for that, I don't give a damn. I'm just being true to myself.” he said. Danson just shook his head. He wished he could be just like Joe, and not care about what people think about him. For all the times that he was with Jiro, he was too scared to let other people know that he is gay. Not only was he protecting Jiro, or was scared of what his mom is going to say, but because he doesn't have the guts to be true to himself.

“And Danson, dear... Now that the Jiro fiasco is over and done, it's time to find a new love. I know that your relationship with Jiro is not that good... I mean... you chave to keep your real self a secret. This time, find someone who can accept you, and be proud of who you are.” Joe suggested. “Do you think I could find such guy?” he asked. Joe smiled at him, and nodded his head. “I know so.” he assured him.

--

After changing to his gym clothes, Danson walked over one of the treadmills. He turned it on, and began to walk onto it. As he was concentrating with his workout, a guy came up to his side, and used the treadmill just beside him. He doesn't know why, but he glanced accidentally at the guy. The guy looked at him, and smiled. He smiled back at him, and nodded his head.

“So, you always here?” the guy asked him. Danson looked at him. “Not really. Only when I'm stressed out. How about you?” he asked. “Twice a week.” he said. Danson just nodded his head. He pushed the button of the treadmill to increase the speed. “Sorry, I got curious... It's the first time that I've seen you around.” the guy said. The guy stopped his machine, and then he extended his hand to him. “By the way, I'm
Ethan. Ethan Ruan. And you're...” Danson stopped his machine, and took his hand. “Danson. Danson Tang.” he said.

As he held Ethan's hand, he felt an electricity bolting through his veins. With the way that Ethan is looking at him, he felt as if he's melting. He doesn't know if it's the cardio exercises he did, but he felt his heart beating fast upon feeling the warmth of his skin. “Nice meeting you.” Danson said. “Ditto.” Ethan said. He felt frustrated when Ethan let go of his hand, and began to run on the treadmill again. He looked away from him, and continued with what he was doing a while ago.

He finds him cute, but he's not sure about him. Is he gay? Or is he straight? Does he like him, or he's just friendly? He wants to laugh at himself. He felt like a school girl having a crush for the first time. He just shook his head, and minded his own business. Maybe this infatuation he's having will pass. At least he proved to himself that he's still gay.

--

The next day.

Ella stared at Danson's office door. She have been staring for 3 hours now. Since she came in this morning, she have not seen him, not even his shadow. “Ella, did the boss approved the layout?” Sam asked. She shook her head. “He was out all day yesterday. And he seems not to be around...” she said. Just then, they both heard Annie call Sam. “Sam, here's your layout. The boss already approved it.” Annie said, giving him the layout. The two gave her a confused look. “I thought he's not here?” Sam asked. “He's on leave for a week. He asked the important documents to be sent to him, especially those that needs to be approved.” Annie said.

Ella's face fell upon hearing what Annie said. “He's... on leave?” she asked. Annie nodded her head. “But he'll be back next week.” she said. Sam looked at Ella, giving her a playful smile. “You didn't know your boyfriend is on leave? Did you guys had a fight or something?” Sam asked. Ella folded her arms, and glared at him. “Shut the fuck up.” she said in an annoyed tone. Then, she stomped her way back to her desk.

She could still hear Sam snickering at her for the way she reacted. She have all the reason why – she was worried as to why Danson went on leave for a week. Was he trying to avoid her? Was he mad at her because of what happened between the two of them that night? She wanted to think that she wasn't at fault for what happened, but she kissed him that night. And that kiss led to something more. Even if Danson's gay, he is still a man. She somehow felt guilty for taking advantage of his drunken state. She doesn't like it when someone's mad at her, especially a friend, and in this case, she hates the fact that Danson is mad at her. Or hates her because of what happened.

She let out a sigh, and slump her head on her desk. She doesn't know what to do now. She didn't want to lose her friend. She have to think of a way to see him.

--

And while Ella is being paranoid thinking what has happened to Danson, he, on the other hand, have been enjoying going to the gym that entire week.

“Oh, you're here again.” Ethan said as he saw her coming out of the locker room. Danson paused, and smiled at him. “Yeah.” he said. “You must be really stressed out.” Ethan commented. Danson just nodded his head. He walked past Danson, and headed to the bench press. The reason why he went to the gym frequently is to have a glance of Ethan. He have to admit to himself that he's having a crush on him. He's cute, nice, and really friendly. Not to mention, he have a nice body.

He stretched out his arms, then he lifted one of the dumb bells with his one hand. Suddenly, he felt a pain in his arm as he lifted it. “Ouch!” he said aloud. Ethan turned to look at him. He smiled and shook his head. Then, he walked up to him. “You're lifting it the wrong way.” Ethan said. Danson gave him a puzzled look. “Huh?” he asked. “Do it like this.” he said. He held his shoulder, and then he held his hand. He gripped onto Danson's hand, as he showed him the right way to lift the dumb bells. He looked up at him, and Ethan's gaze locked with his. Then, he let out a smile at him.

He felt his heart racing against his chest with that look, with that smile, and with his touch. He looked awa, and swallowed hard. He felt aloof with him around. Maybe he's straight, and he doesn't know how to deal with him, knowing that he have a crush on him. What if he found out that he have a crush on him, and didn't take it in a good way?

“Got it?” Ethan asked. That snapped him out of his thoughts. “Y-yeah... thanks.” he said. He watched as Ethan take his leave and went back to his place. He looked at Danson again, and gave him a wink. “I take it as he's interested in me. For now.” he thought. He smiled to himself as he continued to work out that day.

--

“Where are you? Call me. I need to talk to you.”

Ella pressed on the send button of her phone, and put it on the coffee table. She stared at for a long time, which George found weird. “If you're waiting for his reply, FYI, it takes a minute to tyoe a long text message.” he commented. Ella looked at him as she took the pillow and hug it. “Do you think he'll reply?” she asked. “Depends if he is busy or not. Anyway, who is this 'he' you're talking about?” George asked. Ella looked away from him, and let out a sigh. “It's Danson, isn't it? What? Trouble in paradise?” he asked again. Ella answered with a sigh.

George walked up to her, and sat beside her. “Come on, tell me.” he said. “I think he's mad at me...”
“Why would he be mad at you?”
“Because I did something I'm not supposed to do.”
“And that is?”
“Can I not tell you this time, Georgie?”
“Is it worse?”
“I think so.”
“Have you apologized to him?”
“He said that I should just forget about what happened.”

George let out a smile. He put his arms around her, and pulled her for a hug. “I think he's not mad at you. But because you did something bad, he have to be away and forget about it. Give the guy some time, all right?” he said. “I just don't like it when he's like this... Why does he have to stay away from me? It made me think that he hates me!” Ella said. “I don't think Danson could hate you, Ella.” George said. Ella gave him a puzzled look. “How could he hate the girl he loves?” he said. This made Ella even more puzzled. “Danson? Loves me?” she asked.

George let out a laugh at her. “It's either you're too densed or what. I think the guy's in love with you.” he said. “But the guy is gay...” she muttered under her breath. George gave her a confused look. “What?” he asked. Ella's eyes widened upon realizing what she just said. “I... I said I don't think so.” she said. George just shook his head. “Look, I think the reason why you're being this paranoid is because you feel the same way for him. You love him, Ella, or else, it wouldn't matter to you if he's mad at you or not.” George said. “But i'm always like this with you guys...” she defended. He smiled, and shook his head. “I see worry in your eyes. I see that you fear losing him in your life. You have to admit, Danson suddenly became that important person in your life now, Ella. You love him. There's no denying it.” he said. Ella could only look away from him, trying to figure out if he's right or not. Sure, something changed that night they slept together. But does that mean that she's starting to see Danson in a more different light?

--

The elevator door opened. As Danson walked out, and towards his pad, he saw Ella waiting for him outside his door. It's only been four days since he took his leave at the office, because he wasn't to sure how to face Ella. He had to be sure of himself, that nothing changed in him after that night they spent together. He wanted to be sure that he is still gay, and that he still sees Ella as a friend.

“Ella?” he said. Ella looked at him. He walked up to her. “What are you doing here?” he asked her. “I heard you took a leave...” she began. He let out a smile at her. “I felt too stressed out at work... at everything. It was too much to handle for me. And then there's my breakup with Jiro... and the fact that he is enjoying himself with another guy. I need the time to think things through, and slow down...” he said. Ella had this look on her face that she was about to cry. “Am I adding up to your stress?” she asked. “I never thought of you that way, Ella.” he said. “Then, are you mad at me?” she asked again. He paused, then he shook his head. “I'm not mad at you, or even hate you. You are special to me, Ella. You know that.” he said. Ella lowered her head as she speaks. “But what happened to us...” she said in a low voice. “It will be something special for me... but you know what I really am. I know it was something we both didn't want to happen... but just happened. You are my friend, ans the last thing I want to do is have this beautiful friendship between us be ruined because of that night.” he said.

Ella looked up at him, and she saw him smiling at her. “What we have... it's something special. We have this bond that no one could ever have. The friendship we have is very important to me... that's why I wanted us to forget that night, because I know it will ruin everything. That's why I stayed away from you... because I know that you have not forgotten about it yet. I don't want you to think that I used you to forget him... it's not like that.” he said. Then, she turned into a smile. “I understand now. I won't ever talk about that night anymore. Just don't do this again... you worried me. I thought... I thought I'm going to lose you.” she said. He held her hand, and then pulled her into a hug.

They stood there by the hallway for a long time, just hugging each other. “You'll always have me...” he whispered to her.

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Say That You Love Me - Chapter 7

2010-08-01T06:32:00.000-07:00

Tears Fall

Should I be happy because we're friends?
Or should I cry because I know that's all we'll ever be?
How can I stay by your side forever
When all I want is to be the one who holds your heart?
Will you forgive me if I stay away for a while?
Will you forgive me if I can't truly be happy for you?
Will you forgive me if...
If I would hate you even for a while?

--

“I like you!” he bowed before Tiffany as he held the roses out for her. “Will you go out with me, please?” he added. Tiffany and Ella looked at each other. Ella turned to the guy in front of them, and walked up to her. “Aiyo, stop it, Joe!” she told him. She helped him up, and then took the roses from his hand. “Nice roses, Joe.” she told him. Joe just glared at him. “I hate you.” he muttered at Ella. He looked at Tiffany, and she smiled at him. “I'm sorry, Joe... I... I can't go out with you.” Tiffany said. Joe's face fell at what she said. “Eh?” he asked. “She said she doesn't want to go out with you. So, scram now, will you!” Ella shouted at him. Joe glared at Ella, and then snatched the flowers from her hand. As Joe left, Ella couldn't stop laughing.

“That was the seventh confession this month. Guys never learns.” Ella said as she shook his head. She turned to Tiffany, and saw her sad expression. “It is the seventh... and every time someone comes up to me to confess their feelings... I... I am wishing it would be Chun...” she said. Ella let out a sigh. “Chun is a shy guy, Tiff.” she said. “Does Chun really likes me? Maybe you are wrong... maybe he likes another, and not really me.” Tiffany said. Ella looked at her for a long time, and then she smiled at her. “Chun... likes you.” she said. “If... if he doesn't like you... he... he wouldn't forget that we... had to get the application form to that university he badly wanted to go to. If he doesn't like you, he wouldn't take out all his savings just to buy you that teddy bear. He... he won't waste time waiting for you outside the school gate, under the scorching sun and under the cold droplets of the rain. He likes you. No... he loves you. I have never seen my best friend put so much effort in getting to close to a girl, like what he is doing now with you. Don't ever doubt what I tell you about him... because I know him, I know him all my life. Maybe.... maybe he is just waiting for the right time to let you know what he feels. Maybe he thinks it's too soon... to tell you that he loves you.” she said.

Tiffany looked at Ella for a long time. “Ella...” she whispered. Ella looked up at her, and smiled. “Who knows... the next guy that will confess to you will be Chun. If you want, I'll badger him with it. And... and it's about time. Four months from now, we'll be graduating from high school, and he might not ave his chance to tell you what he fells. Right... I should tell him to make his move soon.” she said. She could hear her own voice faltering, giving away what she truly feels inside. She looked away from Tiffany as she turned her back on her. She knew she is lying not only to herself, but to her friends as well. But she had to hide her feelings from Tiffany and Chun, and pretend that she's OK. “I really hope that Chun will be the next guy that will confess... if not...” Tiffany said.

Ella looked back at her. She saw her shaking his head. “If not, what will you do?” she asked. “I'll have to accept the next guy that will confess to me.” Tiffany said.

--

“Seriously, Chun. When are you going to make your move on Tiffany?” Ella asked. They were by the swing that afternoon. After she accompanied Tiffany earlier, she decided to have a talk with Chun. “I don't know how to tell her that I like her.” Chun said. Ella could only groan. “Come on, look at Joe Cheng. That nerdy guy had the guts to confess to Tiffany a while ago.” Ella said. Chun was surprised at what she said. “Joe Cheng?” he asked. Ella nodded her head. “It's the seventh confession this month. Chun... I can't always guard Tiffany from the other guys. You have to make your move soon.” she said. “What if she rejects me? What if she only sees me as a friend? You know that I'm not used to rejection.... especially with girls.” Chun said worriedly. “You wouldn't know if she likes you or not if you won't take the risk. If she doesn't like you, then prove to her that you're worthy to be likeable.” Ella said.

Chun let out a sigh, and then leaned back. “Come on, what is it that you've got to lose? You've got way more advantage than those guys around her. Your with her almost everyday. You were her first guy friend, and you have gotten to know her much better.” she said. “I really don't know, Ella... I think she's comfortable with our friendship, and I don't want to make things awkward just because of my love confession. I think it would be better if we stayed as friends.” he said. Ella folded her arms, and glared at him. “Are you stupid?! Chun, you have the girl you like within your reach. You can easily tell her what you feel for her, and you're choosing to be just friends because you're scared to get out of your comfort zone?”
“You don't understand...”
“I don't understand? I don't understand? I know how it feels like, Chun! I know how it feels to fall in lo-”

She paused, for she was almost about to tell him how she feels for him. “I... I know how you are feeling. You are my best friend, Chun, and don't ever think that I don't understand. I... I just want to help you. I want you to be happy. Because... because you are my friend... and you deserve to be happy and to be loved. Because...because you're a nice guy, and you deserve her love and affection. No one looks better with her than you. You have to realize that.” she said. With that, Chun smiled at her. He stood up, sat beside her and gave her a hug. “You always say the right things to make me feel confident...” he said. He released her, and looked into her eyes. “Sometimes, I think that Tiffany is to good to be true... like a dream. If she becomes my girl, I would be the happiest boy on earth, and I'll everything so that she could be happiest girl I've ever known. But... I'm just the plain old ordinary Wu Chun. How can I make someone as special as her fall for me?” he asked. “Did it ever occur to you that because of who you are, someone might be loving you? That someone have fallen in love with the plain, old, ordinary Wu Chun?” Ella answered. Chun gave her a skeptical look. “Are you saying that because you're my best friend?” he asked. Ella just answered him with a smile.

--

Ella was walking through the park, when she saw Tiffany and another guy talking. She stopped for a while, and watched them. “Tiffany, I really like you a lot... please go out with me.” he guy said. Ella's eyes widened upon hearing that. She remembered that she told her that she will accept the next guy that will confess to her. She looked at Tiffany, and as she was about to say her answer, she ran up to her. “Tiffany!” she shouted. Tiffany looked back at her. “Ella?” she asked. She smiled at her. As soon as she got near her, she held her hand, and pulled her away from the guy. “Come on, the girls are waiting for us.” she said. Tiffany could only give her a confused look as she let her pull her away from the guy.

“Ella?” she asked her as she pulled her away from the guy. “Why?” Ella paused, and looked at her. “You can't possibly accept that guy! What about Chun?” Ella told her. “Chun will not confess to me.” Tiffany said in a matter-of-fact tone. “He will! You just have to wait, Tiffany.”
“I don't think he will...”
“Are you giving up on him? I thought you like him?”
“I thought he liked me too. I'm tired of waiting for him to tell me that he loves me. If he can't tell me, then I'd rather give the other guys a chance.”

Ella stared at her for a long time. “Tiffany...” she whispered. “I can't wait forever for just someone...” Tiffany said. “Sometimes... sometimes... you have to wait for something that you badly wanted before it would be given to you. Sometimes it would take a long time to be given to you. If you can't wait for him, then it means you don't like Chun bad enough.” Ella said. Tiffany realized that Ella is right. But then, she just can't wait for Chun to make the move. If only she isn't shy enough, she would have made her move to him. “I promise you, Tiff... the next guy that will confess his love for you, it will be him. I promise you that.” Ella said. Tiffany stared at her for a long time. Though she had her doubts, she had to trust in Ella's words. She let out a smile, and nodded her head.

--

Ella stood outside of Chun's house the next day. After a long wait, Chun finally came out. “Ella, what are you doing here?” he asked. “Can we walk together to school?” she asked. Chun smiled at her, and nodded his head. He held Ella's hand as they walked to school. On their way to school, Chun noticed that his best friend have been awfully quiet. “What's wrong?” he asked. Ella looked up at him, and smiled. “Nothing.”
“Why are you so silent? You're not always like that when you're around me.”
“Can't I be silent for even a day?”
Chun let out a laugh. “All right. As long as there's no broken bones inside that fat body of yours, and you're not wailing like a little kid, I'll believe that nothing's wrong with you.” he said. Ella nodded her head.

After a while, he heard her let out a sigh. “OK... something is wrong. When you sigh like that, I know something is wrong,.” he said. “Chun...” she began. She paused, and then turned to him. “You said you will always keep your promise to me, right?” she asked. Chun gave her a confused look, but nevertheless, he nodded his head. “Then, you have to promise me one thing. Today. This is the most important promise that you have to keep, because if you broke it, I... I will never ever forgive you.” she said. “You know that I always do... well, except the last time... but what is it? Is t a matter of life and death?” he asked. “No, this is for your happiness...” she thought. Thenn, she nodded her head. “Meet me at the park later after school. You have to promise me that you'll come, no matter what happens. If... if you don't come... then forget that I'm your best friend. There's... there's something that I have to tell you... something...” She looked away from him, avoiding his gaze. “Something that I can't tell you now.” Chun nodded his head. “All right. No matter what happens, I'll come. Count on me, all right?” he said.

--

The school bell have rang, and it's dismissal time.

Chun put all his things inside his bag, then Lego approached him. “Chun, what do you think of this?” he asked. Chun looked up, and saw him holding a bouquet of flowers. He gave him a puzzled look. “What's that for?” he asked. Lego smiled at him. “I'm going to confess to the most beautiful girl I've ever met.” he said. “Wow... I never thought you had the romantic bone. So, who's the unfortunate girl?” he teased. He gathered his bag, and walked out of the classroom with Lego. “I won't tell.”
“Come on... why do you have to keep secrets from me, Lego Li. Tell me who she is.”
“Ask again, and I might tell you.”
“Who is she?”
“Ask again.”

Chun let out a groan, and glared at him. “Tell me who she is if you want.” he said. Lego laughed at him, and then he put his arms around his neck. “I can't tell you exactly what her name is. But... I can give you a clue. She really is very close to you, and she studies at St. Margaret's.” Lego said. Chun scratched his chin as he thought who the girl is. “Close to me, huh... well there's -” Then, it hit him. Lego will probably be confessing to Tiffany. He never thought that he would also like the same girl. “I heard she rejected a lot of guys already... so, I hope she would accept me this time. Wish me luck, OK?” Lego said. He patted his shoulder, then walked away from him.

“Wei, Lego!” Chun shouted. Lego stopped walking, and looked back at him. “I'll go with you.” Chun said. Lego gave him a confused look. “Aren't you supposed to meet your best friend today?” he asked. Chun put his hands on his waist as he glared at him. “You can't possibly -” he said. He lowered his head, and shook his head. As much as he wants to go wth Lego and stop nhis love confession for Tiffany, he promised to meet Ella today at the park after school. And he can' ditch Ella just because of his jealousy with Lego. His friendship with her is much more important than Tiffany.

He let out a sigh of defeat. He looked up at Lego, and gave him a weary smile. “Good luck. I know she will agree to date you. Just be nice to her, all right?” Chun said. Lego nodded his head. “Thanks, Chun.” he said. Then, he ran off from him., leaving the defeated Chun behind.

--

Chun looked at his watch. It's already 5 PM, and Ella have not yet arrived. Somehow, he is getting worried with his best friend. He knew their classes have ended an hour ago, and she's still not here at the park. “Where are you, Ella?” he thought worriedly. He was not only worried, but also anxious as to what she was about to tell him.

“Chun?”

His thoughts were interrupted with that familiar voice. She looked back, and saw Tiffany walking up to him. “T-tiffany? W-what... what are you doing here?” he asked. “Ella told me you'll be here. So, she asked me to come.” Tiffany said. Chun gave her a puzzled look. “Ella? I was supposed to meet her today. She said she had something important to tell me.” he said. “Maybe what she wants to tell you is in this letter.”

Tiffany handed him a folded paper, and Chun immediately opened it. It was a letter from Ella.

Dear Chun,
I know you'll be surprised to find Tiffany here at the park, and not me. I know you are expecting me to come, after what I told you this morning. But then, I realized it would be better if I send Tiffany so that you will know what I want to tell you.

Chun, you are my best friend, and as your best friend, I only want your happiness. And the promise I ask of you is a promise of happiness, not for me, but for you. Forget all your doubts in yourself for a while. Take the risk, and confess your love to her. This is your chance, Chun. A chance like this may never come again. I know the two of you are destined to be together, and I just need to push you a little so that could happen. Promise me that by the end of the day, you will tell her what's inside your heart. I know she likes you as well, but you have to find it out yourself.

Again, this is your only chance. If you don't do anything today, I won't ever help you with her. I've done my part, now do yours.

Ella

Chun smiled as he read the letter. Then, he looked at Tiffany. “What's wrong? Why are you smiling?” she asked. “Oh... nothing. It's just that Ella said something silly in her letter.” he sad. Tiffany smiled, and nodded her head. “T-tiffany...” he called. She looked at him, and waited for him to speak. “Ella said there's something that you want to tell me...” Tiffany said. Chun was surprised at what she said. Guess there's no turning back with his confession.

“I like you, Tiffany.” he said in one go. He looked at her face to see her reaction. “I... I really do...” he said. He could feel his heart beating after saying those words. He doesn't know if it's right to confess to her at this time. He lowered his head, expecting her rejection, and he didn't notice the smile on Tiffany;s lips. “I like you too, Chun.” she said. Chun could not believe what he heard. He looked up, and saw her smiling at him.

As the sun sets down, the two of them stood facing each other with a smile on their face. The day ends, but it was a start of love for the two of them.

--

“So, he believed you?”
A nod.
A laugh.
“Great! If... if he came with you, I will smack him in the head.”
A laugh.
A stare.

She looked away from him. By now, Ella knew that Chun and Tiffany are finally ogether. She knew she should be happy for them, but her heart couldn't help but to break at that thought. She was to blame for her broken hart because she helped them to get together. She wanted to hate herself for being too selfless. But she knew she would hate herself more if Chun will not be happy for her.

He walked up to her, and showed her the bouquet of flowers in his hand. She stared at it, then looked at him. “L-lego?” she said. “I told Chun I will be confessing to the most beautiful girl that I have ever known. At least, I could do that now, right?” he said. Ella was getting confused at what he was saying. “I like you, Ella. I'm not asking you to like me back or to go out with me. But... will you give me a chance to prove to you that I'm worthy of you?” he said.

She stared at the flowers for a while. Then, she looked up at Lego again. “Lego...” she whispered. “Let me take his place for a while. I know... I know you're hurt because of him. Let me try to ease that pain. Let me be his substitute for a while. Will you give me that chance?” he asked. She took a deep breath, and lowered her head. “I...”

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Love Starts Here - Forewords

2010-07-24T07:53:00.000-07:00

How do you know when love has already begun?
You know with each beat your heart makes...
You know with that unintentional smile in your face...
You know with every look, and every touch...

I live in a dark cold world.
I was alone.
I was lonely.
I was broken.
There was never a day I thought of dying...
Of escaping this cruel world I live in.
I knew there was no hope for someone like me.

And then he came...
He was like an angel lighting up my dark world
With him, I felt the need to breathe...
To survive
To stay alive...
He is the reason I look forward to each morning
The reason I wanted to change.
He was the only reason, when there is no reason at all.

The moment he walked into my life,
I knew...
I knew deep in my heart...
That love had begun.
Love...
It starts here...
With him...

--

Love Starts Here

Starring:
Ella Chen
Wu Chun

with
Ethan Ruan
Selina Ren
Osamu Mukai

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Say That You Love Me - Chapter 6

2010-07-24T03:01:00.000-07:00

One Smile

It doesn't matter if I'm hurt
It doesn't matter if my heart is breaking.
I love you much to do everything for you
I'll do everything and anything to keep you happy
And to earn that one smile from your lips...

--

Chun walked Tiffany home that night, after their date. He was so happy that he got a chance to be with her alone, and he was happy that Ella gave him that chance. He got to know her even more, and he started to feel more comfortable around her, unlike before when he tends to stutter when he talks to her in person.

“Here we are.” Tiffany said as stopped in front of a big white gate. She turned to Chun, and smiled at him. “Thanks for a wonderful afternoon, Chun.” she said. Chun blushed the moment she smiled his way. “It's nothing. I hoped you enjoyed my company.” he said as he scratched his head. Tiffany nodded her head. “I did. It was fun hanging out with you.”
“So, do you think we could do this again? We could go out again?”
“Of course.”
Chun's smile widened upon hearing her answer. “Great! M-maybe next time, Lego and E-ella can go out with us. I promise the next would be much fun.” he said. Tiffany smiled, and nodded her head. “I can't wait for the next time, Chun.” she said. “Me too. Next week would be good?” he asked. She nodded her head again. “Great. Then, next week it is. I'll wait for you at the school gate. Same time, same day...” he said. “Can't wait.” she said. He said goodnight to her, and then left as soon as Tiffany got inside the house. “Yes!” he shouted, throwing his clenched fist up in the air. Finally, he have another chance to be with Tiffany, and he knew this will be the start of something new for them.

--

He got home that night, and saw Ella by their porch. “Oh, hey Ella!” he said cheerfully. Ella let out a smirk at him. “Seems like someone is so happy today.” she said as she folded her arms. Chun nodded his head. “I am. Thanks to you, my very very best friend.” he said. Ella snorted at her best friend. “Yeah, right… whatever. You should thank me that I’m helping you with Tiffany.” She said. He smiled at her, and then put his arms around her neck. “Of course, I am. I’m very grateful that you’re here to help me always. Don’t worry, if you ask for a favor or help, I’ll be there for you.” He said. “You better keep that promise, or else.” She threatened him. Chun just let out a laugh.

“So, what are you doing here at this time? It’s already late.” Chun asked. “Well, I’m here to tell you that the uni will be giving out the application forms next week. I was hoping you could come with me.” She said. Chun nodded his head. “Sure, no problem. I’ll go with you at the uni.” He said. “Great then. So, next week, you will be my date. Make sure that you’ll be there. I won’t get you the application form if you won’t come with me.” She said. Chun raised his right hand at her. “I promise. Cross my heart, hope to die.” He said.

--
The following week.

As Ella got out of their house, she saw Chun waiting for her outside. “What are you doing here?” she asked. Chun looked at her, and smiled. Then, she saw him holding a small teddy bear. She recognized it as the teddy bear that she have been asking Chun for years to get her at the local toy store. “Wow! Finally, you got it!” she said excitedly as she snatched the teddy bear from his hand. She hugged it, and smiled at him. “Thanks , I know you will get it for me. Why does it have to take you so long to get it?” she said. Chun laughed at her, and snatched the teddy bear from her hand. “This is not for you, silly.” He said.

At that instant, the smile on her face disappeared. “It’s for Tiffany?” she asked. Chun nodded his head. “We passed by the toy store the other day, and she found this cute teddy bear. She really wanted this, but she didn’t have enough money. So, I bought this teddy bear for her yesterday. Isn’t it cute?” he asked. She folded her arms, and then walked away from him. Chun was puzzled by her sudden reaction. “Ella?” he called as he walked after her. “Ella? Are you mad?” he asked again. Still, there was no answer from her. He ran to her, and held her arm to stop her. As he faced her, he saw the angry expression on her face. “Ella? What’s wrong?” he asked. She brushed his hand from her, and glared up at him. “What’s wrong with me? Chun, I was the one who asked you to buy me that teddy bear first! You didn’t want to buy it for me. You said I should save up for it. You said you will not buy it for me, unless it’s my birthday! And then what?! Just because Tiffany didn’t have enough money to buy it, you took your money, and bought it as a gift for her? Don’t you think you’re being too unfair to me?” she said angrily.

Chun was taken aback by what she said. “E-Ella…” he said softly. “Right, it will always be about her. Oh, yeah… I forgot… you were doing everything to be on her good side… so that you could be much closer to her… so that you can win her heart. Am I right?” she said sarcastically. Chun just looked at her for a long time. He felt guilty because everything she said is true. “I… I’m sorry…” he whispered. “And I wouldn’t be surprised if you forgot your promise to me… that you will go to me at the uni to get the application forms?” she asked. With that, Chun closed his eyes, and smacked himself in the head. “Ella… I’m really sorry, I forgot about that and made plans with Tiffany today.” He said. Ella tried to control her anger. She took a deep breath, and then walked away from him again. Chun looked back, and then began to follow her again. “Look, Ella… it was an honest mistake. I forgot about it… it’s my fault… I’m sorry.” He said. “Go away!” Ella shouted at him. Chun was still persistent in following her. “Ella… please… don’t be mad at me… please…” he pleaded. Ella just continued going her way, as Chun followed her.

“Ella… please stop. Hear me out… please…” he pleaded. This time, Ella stopped, and turned to face him. “So, which came first? Your date with Tiffany, or our date at the uni?” she asked. Chun just lowered his head. “Tell me the truth. Did you asked Tiffany out before you agreed to go with me at the uni?” she asked again. Chun slowly looked up at him, and nodded his head. “I… asked Tiffany first… I’m so sorry, Ella.” He said. He saw her clenching her fist. She bit her lips as she tried to control her tears from falling. “I… I just wished for once, I could become your priority. I… I just wished that you didn’t make a promise to me, especially when you were so happy because of Tiffany. I… I just wish you would realize that I also need you, my best friend. I’m doing everything I could to help you. God knows that I am… but I guess I am a fool to believe that you will return the favor to me.” She said softly. She wiped the tears that finally fell from her eyes. Then, she swiftly turned her back on him, and walked away. Chun did not dare to follow her. He knew he have hurt her by breaking his promise to her. “What have I done?” he thought. He felt guilty for breaking his promise to her, and he have never seen Ella this mad at him before.

--

Ella walked at the school gate, and she saw Tiffany and Chun together. She just let out a sigh as she saw the two smiling at each other. As soon as they left the school, she walked outside the school gate. “Hey, dork!” she heard someone say. She looked back, and saw Lego running up to her. “So, are you going to the uni now?” he asked. Ella nodded her head. “Where’s Chun?” he asked. “Aren’t you supposed to know where he is? He have a date with Tiffany today.” She said. Lego folded his arms, and smiled playfully at her. “So, that explains the gloomy mood.” He said. Ella snorted at him. “If you only knew what happened…” she said. Lego put his arms around her as they walked. She looked up at him, and he smiled at her. I think it’s not that worse, right? I mean, you two fight a lot, but you two always made up for that. And be more considerate. It’s the first time that Chun the great is in love.” He said. She let out a sigh and continued to walk. Before she knew it, they were already inside the university.

“I’ll wait for you here. Do what you have to do.” Lego told her. Ella looked at him, and smiled. She nodded her head, and then ran up to the building’s entrance. Then, she paused, and then looked at Lego. She walked up to him. “Thank you. For being here for me.” She said. Lego smiled back at him. “No need to thank me. Just think of me as your guardian angel.” He said, winking at her. Ella laughed at him. “A very annoying guardian angel.” She said. Lego laughed at her. “Better hurry up, or you won’t be able to get an application form. I’ll wait for you here, all right?” he said. Ella nodded her head, and then ran up to the building.

She lined up to take the application form. Then, it was her turn. “Hi, can I get an application form?” she asked the lady behind the window. The lady smiled at her, and then handed her the application form. She took it, and then left the line. As she stared at the application form, she suddenly remembered Chun. Like her, Chun wanted to get in to this university, and she knew that Chun is working hard to be able to get in to this university. She let out a sigh, and then went at the end of the line. As soon as it was her turn, the lady looked at her. “It’s you again?” she asked. “I… I would like to ask for another application form. This time, it’s for my best friend. Would that be OK?” she asked. “We don’t usually give out more than one form to an applicant.” She said. “Please, madam… my friend couldn’t just come here because he’s sick. He badly wanted to get into this university, and I know that you only give out the forms just today. Please… please give me another form, for my friend?” she asked. The lady smiled at her, and then handed her two application forms. “I’m just kidding. Here, you can give these to your friends who wants to enter this university.” She said. She smiled at the lady and thanked her for giving her the application forms.

As she got out of the building, she noticed that Lego is not around. “Where could he be…” she thought. She went down, and then walked towards the park just in front of the school building. She sat at one of the benches, and then waited for Lego to come back. Just then, she heard someone playing the guitar again. It was the same song as she heard the other day at the chapel. She looked at the other side, and saw the same guy she saw at the chapel, playing the same song on the guitar. He was humming to it as he strums the strings. She listened to him play the song, then he paused and looked at her. He smiled at her, and she smiled shyly at her, and nodded her head.

“Calvin!” she heard a girl said. She saw a girl walk up to him, and sat beside him. “Don’t forget tonight.” She said. Calvin looked at her, and nodded his head. “I won’t miss it for the world.” He said. “It’s the senior’s girlfriend…” she thought. She decided to ignore them, and mind her own business while waiting for Lego. Then, she saw Lego rushing up to him. “Hey, Ella…” he said, trying to catch his breath. “Where have you been?” she asked. “Just around the corner. Are we good? Can we go home now?” he asked. Ella stood up, and nodded her head. “Let’s go.” She said.

As she leaves, Calvin looked at her. The smile on his face slowly disappeared as she left with Lego. “Must be her boyfriend…” he said. He let out a sigh, and began to play a new song, but then he always ended up playing the song he was playing while looking at that girl. “God, what’s wrong with me? That girl sure have an effect on me.” He thought as he laughed.

--

“I’ll see you tomorrow?” Lego asked Ella. They were by Ella’s gate, and Lego have walked her home. “Depends. Are you gonna treat me out tomorrow?” she asked. “Ice cream?” he asked. Ella smiled, and nodded her head . “You bet!” she said. Then, he pulled something from his bag, and showed it to Ella. It was a bear hand puppet. “I think I know why you’re upset a while ago. This may not be like the teddy bear that you wanted Chun to get you, but it’s the cutest one they’ve got. Too bad, someone already bought the last piece of that teddy bear…” he said as he scratched his head. Ella laughed at him, and then took the puppet from his hand. She put in on her hand, and then she made it talk with her hands. “Xie xie ni.” She said. Lego looked at her, and smiled. She let out another laugh upon seeing him blush. “What?” he asked. “You’re blushing, Lego.” Ella said. “I am not!” he said defensively. Then, she made her puppet talk again. “You are!” she said. She laughed at him again.

Just as the two were teasing each other, Chun got out of his house, and saw Ella and Lego laughing at each other. He saw the sudden closeness of the two, and somehow, he felt jealous. Ella got mad at him for not keeping his promise, and with Lego being close to her, he felt threatened. He let out a sigh, and went back inside the house sadly. “I just wish my surprise for her would be enough for her to forgive me…” he thought.

Ella went inside her room, and the first thing she saw is the teddy bear she liked on top of her bed. She let out a smile as she took it. With it is a note from Chun. “I’m sorry. Please don’t be mad at me.” It says. She smiled to herself, and hugged the teddy bear. Meanwhile, Chun heard a knock on his door. He rushed to it, and saw his mom standing. “Ella wanted to give this to you.” She said. He took the application forms in her hand, and smiled to himself. On the upper right hand corner of the paper was a note from Ella. “You may have forgotten your promise to go with me to the uni today, but you have to promise me to pass the entrance exam with me so that we could study there, all right? I forgive you, and thanks for the teddy bear. P.S. Give the other form to Tiff.” It says.

He immediately rushed to his window, and then called on to Ella. “Ella!” he shouted. Ella got up from her bed, and opened her window. “Thank you.” He said. “Don’t mention it. I’m your best friend, remember? If you break another promise, then I swear I’m gonna find a new best friend.” She threatened. Chun smiled, and nodded his head. “I promise.” He said, smiling at her.

She closed the window, and then turned back to her bed. She knew she would do everything to see him smile like that. She will take anything just to see him smiling, even if it hurts her so. “I will try to be more understanding, Chun…” she thought. “I will try… for your sake…”

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Paper Stars - Chapter Fourteen

2010-07-24T02:30:00.000-07:00

Chapter 14 – Chances

Paolo retreated back to his room.

He curled up on his bed as his thoughts were filled with all the possibilities that's happening between Vanz and Nadine. He could feel his heat flinching in pain with the thought of Vanz asking his angel back, and with Nadine giving him another chance. He guess there's nothing else to do but to accept whatever it is that she have decided, after all, it seems obvious that Nadine still loves her first love.

“Pao Pao, anything wrong?”

He looked by the door, and saw Angelo walking up to him. “Why the sad face?” he asked him again. Paolo looked away from him, not answering his question. “Do you feel sick, or something?” Angelo asked again. “Bu shi...” Paolo muttered. Angelo gave him a confused look. “Bu shi... yeah right! You're lying.” Angelo said. He sat beside him, and put his arm around him. “So, have you seen my sister and Vanz? They are having a long talk, don't they?” he said. Paolo ignored him. “I guess Vanz is explaining himself to my sister. He sure have a lot of explaining to do.” Angelo said again. Still, Paolo ignored him. “I guess Vanz is asking my sister for another chance. And maybe... maybe my sister is considering it...” he continued. He glanced at Paolo, and smirked. “And maybe they'll get married soon.” he said.

Paolo turned to him with a glare. “Bu hui ba! No way!” he shouted at him. Angelo could only laugh at his angry reaction. “Why not? My sister is not getting any younger. He needs someone like Vanz to be by her side.” Angelo said. “Wo ke yi zai ta shan bien yi ji! (I can be by her side as well!!)” he shouted angrily. Angelo laughed in amusement, and this irritated Paolo more. “Bu hao xiao! (Not funny!)” he said in an annoyed tone. “Can you stop speaking in Chinese? It's even funnier when you're mad and you're speaking in Chinese!” Angelo said in between laughs. Paolo looked away from him. He was silent, while Angelo was observing him. “You're jealous, right?” Angelo asked. Paolo looked at him again. “You're jealous because you love my sister...” he said.

Angelo was expecting him to react violently, to deny what he feels. He knew from the start that he is in love with his sister, that's why when there's a chance he could get close to Nadine, he'll let Paolo have that chance. He saw Paolo lower his head, as he nod in confession. “Wo... ai ta... I love her...” Paolo said in a low voice. “But... it seems that she loves Vanz. If what you said is true...” His voice faltered as he looked at Angelo. “Are you going to give up on my sister just like that? Maybe you stand a chance. You've been with her longer.” Angelo sad. “But Vanz is her first love, and will always be the one she loves.”
“You're assuming things, Paolo.”
“But isn't that the truth?”
“Vanz hurt her before.”
“But she can still love him despite it all.”

Angelo turn to smile. “Or maybe not. Not, if you will start the fight. You can win her heart, but before that could happen, you have to give it your best shot.” he said. Paolo turned away from him again. “How could I win her heart? I am nothing. I am just a lost soul that she picked up from the shore. I don't have any identity, nor any memories of the past. All that I know, all that I have, it's all because of her. While... while Vanz... he is a man who is not living in the dark. Nadine knew him well. While I... Nadine only knew the present me... not the past me...” Paolo said. “And since when did identity become an issue when it comes to loving? If my sister loves you, she will accept you, no matter what your past is.” Angelo said. Paolo faced him again. “Will you give her up? Are you willing to see my sister go through the same heartache again when she was with Vanz?” Angelo asked. With that, Paolo turned his gaze away from him, finally deciding to fight for his love.

--

“After that summer, everything just became too chaotic for us.” Vanz began. “We found out that mom is dying. My dad was trying to keep the family together. I was in senior high school, and suddenly, I became confused with what to do with my life. You weren't there. You were far from me, and I can't let you bear the burden I had back then... so I chose not to write back, or to cal you back. Stephanie was there for me the whole time, helping me out, and gradually, I learned to love her again. I must admit, I forgot your existence the whole time I was with her. So when we bumped into each other at the university... I... I felt guilty.” he said. He lowered his head, and let out a faint laugh. He put his hands inside his pocket, and glanced at him. “Honestly... when I saw you again, I... I got confused. I knew I love Stephanie... but it will always be you, my first love. It will always be you. Yes, I admit that I've been with a lot of girls these past ten years... but it will alwas be you, Nadine... it will always be you...”

Nadine looked away from him. All her life, she waited for this day to come, for him to come back to her, and tell her that he still loves her. She should be happy that this is happening to her right here, right now. But somehow, she doesn't feel too happy about it. She doesn't feel her heart skip a beat upon seeing his boyish face once again. She doesn't want this happen now. It's like she got tired of the long wait, and she finally gave up. And it's because there is someone that already took his place in her heart.

“Nadine... give me a chance.” he said. He walked up to her, and held her on her shoulders. “Give us a chance. I know this time, it's for keeps. I promise... I promise I won't abandon you like I did before. Nadine, I still love you...” he said. He looked hopefully into her eyes, letting out a faint smile. “Do you still love me?” he asked. Nadine stared at him for a long time, asking herself the same question. Does she still love him? She knew at this moment, she is confused. And she knew that it's wrong for her to give her answer at her confused state. “I... I'm sorry...” she said as she looked away from him. Vanz could only give her a confused look. “I... I can't answer that question.” she said. “Was it because I've heard you enough?”
“Vanz, it's not like that.”
“Is there someone else in your life?”

Nadine looked at him for a long time, and then she slowly nodded her head. “Yes. There is... someone that... that I've been loving silently.” she said. He gave her a defeated look. “He... he doesn't know?”
“I don't think he have to know.”
“You know that you're hurting yourself.”
“It doesn't hurt as much as how you hurt me before. And I know that if I get my heart broken, I have no one else to blame but myself.”

Vanz looked at her for a long time. He knew inside his heart that he couldn't give her up. He searched for her for so long, and he just can't let her slip away that easily. Not without a fight. “Give me a chance...” he said firmly. “Give me a chance to prove to you that you still love me. Nadine, I can give you the love you need, while he... he will only hurt you. He will only hurt you as long as keep on loving him silently. While I... you know... you know how I feel... you can never be unsure of me... and I promise you...” he said. He could feel his voice faltering as he speaks. “Give me a chance to fight him fair and square. I can me you love me again.” he said. “I will only hurt you.” she said. “Then hurt me. I don't care. All I want is to love you.” he said. Nadine could only take a deep breath as she slowly nodded her head.

--

It was almost dusk, and Nadine was sitting by the shore as she watches the sunset. A lot of things happened that day, and she wanted to be alone for a while to think things through. She knew that she should have not given Vanz another chance, and give him her answer while she's confused. She doesn't know why Vanz have to come back for her, now that she was starting to forget him. It just makes her feelings more complicated.

“Can I join you?”

She looked back, and saw Paolo standing behind her. She smiled at him, and nodded her head. Paolo sat silently beside her, and then looked at the horizon. “What are you thinking of?” he asked. “A lot of things.”
“Like what?”
“My past... my present... my future...”
Paolo looked at her, and smiled. “For the long time that I've known you, you're not the type of person that would ponder too much on things. Unless it's about the resort...” he said. Nadine could only laugh at her. “I tend to ponder too much on life. You just don't know it.” she said. He let out a smile as he glanced at her. There was silence between them as they sat side by side, watching the sun to set down.

“He asks for another chance...” Nadine finally said. Paolo looked at her, and held his breath as he waited for her to say something again. “He wanted me back. He said... he said that he still loves me...”
“And your reply?”
“I gave him a chance to prove to me that what he says is true.”
“Do you still love him?”
Nadine looked at Paolo for a long time, and then she shook her head. “I... I don't know. I'm not sure anymore.” she said. She let out a faint laugh, and looked away from him. “It's like when I'm with this person, I'm sure of what I really feel. I feel happy around him. I feel at ease knowing he's within my sight. When he's beside me I get butterflies in my stomach. But then, this person from your past comes back. You forget what you feel for this new person, because that person from your past came back, and all of your feelings for this old person comes back to you. It's like you both wanted the past and the present, but your heart can only choose one... and that's where all the confusion is... and I'm scared... I'm scared that I choose one of them, the other will be hurt. I'm scared that if I choose the past, the present will leave. If I choose the past... he will be gone in my life forever.” she said. “I guess you needed more time.” Paolo said. Nadine gave him a puzzled look. “It's a good thing that you gave Vanz a chance. At least, with him around, you will realize what the present guy really means to you. But then, you have to choose eventually. Is it this new guy, or is it Vanz?” he said.

Nadine let out a sigh, and looked away from him. “So, there is another person aside from Vanz that you... love?” Paolo asked. Nadine's eyes widened upon hearing his question. She knew that what she said a while ago is a giveaway to her true feelings for Paolo. “N-n-not really. I... am merely... making a point. The whole point is, I'm confused.” she said. “Because of this new guy?” Paolo asked again. “There is no new guy!” she shouted defensively at him. Paolo just gave her a playful smile. “Oh, OK.” he said. Nadine secretly glanced at him, and see him still smiling giddily. Paolo knew that Nadine was talking about him. He was happy because he knew that he stands a chance with her.

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Me & My Gay Boss - Episode 9

2010-07-18T01:27:00.001-07:00

Episode 9 – What Happened Last Night...

“Aaaaaahhhhh!”

As Ella slowly opened her eyes, she could feel her head aching, as if someone is hammering her head. The loud shriek from somewhere near her is not helping her headache at all. “Shut up.” she muttered under her breath. She turned to her side, and from ¾ closed eyes, she noticed a bare skin right next to her. She tried to ignore it, but then she heard another loud shriek. She half-opened her eyes, and this time, she began to panic at the sight of a bare chest before her. She looked up, and saw Danson looking at her with a shocked expression on his face.

“Why is he beside me? And why is he naked?” she thought. She looked at herself, and saw that she was covered in a blanket. She peeked herself inside he blanket, and aw that she was naked as well. She sat up and covered herself fully with the blanket. She gave a mortified look at Danson. “Aaaaahhhh!” she shouted. Danson flinched as she shrieked. “What did you do to me?!” she questioned him. Danson rolled his eyes at her. “I was the one who should ask you about that!” he snapped at her. “You raped me!” she said accusingly. “I should be the one saying that, not you! You took advantage of me!” Danson shouted at her. “Take advantage of you? You are the guy here! You're strong and... and I'm weak...”

She pouted at him, and covered her chest even more. “How can you say I took advantage of you? Do you remember anything before we passed out?” he asked. Ella opened her mouth say yes, but as she tried to remember what happened the night before, she couldn't remember anything at all. “I don't... but that doesn't mean I don't remember everything, all right?” she said. “Then, what happened?” he challenged her. Suddenly, the thought of what happened the night before came into her mind,and she was to embarrassed to admit to Danson that she really did took advantage o f him when he was drunk.

[Flashback]
“I love him... I love him... I love him...”

Danson laid his head on the countertop, and closed his eyes. As he sleeps Ella stared into his face. “How could someone just throw your love like that? Did h know that a lot people is wanting to be in his place, and be loved by you?” she thought. Then, she reached for his face, and caressed his cheeks. She doesn't know what she got into to her. Maybe it's the alcohol, but she found herself wanting to kiss him. Without any second thoughts, she leaned to him, and kissed him on the lips. After she kissed him, Danson's eyes opened.

[End of Flashback]

“Why are you putting all the blame on me? Don't you remember a thing about last night?” Ella asked
him. Danson gritted his teeth as he looked at her. Guilty as charged, he sure did remember what he did the night before.

[Flashback]
He slumped on the countertop, and closed his eyes to rest for a while. Then, he felt fingers trailing on his face, making him feel somewhat excited. Just then, he felt warm lips pressing against his. As he opened his eyes, he saw Ella staring at him. Her eyes widened with shock when she saw him slowly waking up.

“I... I have to go...” she said. He stood up, and tried to stop her. Good thing that she stumbled as she walked, so he was able to get hold of her. He doesn't know if it's the alcohol or his raging hormones, but he had the urge to kiss Ella until both of them get tired of kissing. He looked into her eyes for a long time. “God, she's beautiful...” his thoughts wandered. “Stay with me... please...” he pleaded. “This night would be would be hell for me if you leave me...” he said. Ella just stared up at him, not saying a word.

He leaned down on her, and captured her lips with his. As she moaned, his hand roamed at his back, and then, as he reached her shoulder, he began to take off her cardigan. His lips trailed down to her neck, down to her bare shoulder, with his fingers pulling down the strap of her tank top. He felt her lean her head on his cheek as he made soft kisses on her neck.

“Danson...”

He paused and looked at her. When did his name became to sound beautifully when she speaks of it? It was the alcohol, he thought. He pulled her close to her, and he kissed her lips hungrily once more. He took her, and carried her inside his own room, and laid her on his bed. He stared at her for a long time, smiling to himself at the beautiful sight before him. He leaned down to her once more, and kissed her on the lips. His hands moved, and began to take off her tank top.

They kissed, and they took off their clothes. In a moment, both of them are already naked. Danson looked at her, admiring every inch of her bare body. He caressed her cheek, and let out a smile at her. He leaned down to her again, and began to make love to her.

[End of Flashback]

Danson looked away from Ella. There was an awkward silence between them, a very awkward silence. “What have I done?” he thought. He shouldn't have drunk too much alcohol, and Ella shouldn't have been there for him last night. He looked back at Ella, and their eyes met. Then, they looked away from each other again. “I'm taking a shower.” he said. He wrapped his body with blanket, and rushed inside the bathroom. “Don't get out naked, will you!” Ella said. As soon as Danson left, she let out a sigh. She lay on the bed, buried her face with a pillow, and let out a loud groan.

--

And there was another awkward silence between them as they were having breakfast.

No one dared to speak a word as they ate breakfast. Everything just seemed awkward. Danson felt guilty for taking advantage of Ella, while Ella was also feeling guilty because of taking advantage of his drunken state last night. “I think we should forget that this had happened.” Danson said. Ella looked up at him. “You see... this is just a mistake, right?” he said. Ella nodded in agreement. “I think we should pretend nothing ever happened between us. And besides, you're gay... and I'm not really into gays.” she said. “Well then, I'm glad that we agreed.” he said. He looked at her again, and smiled. As Ella looked up at him, she could feel her heart beating fast. “What the heck is happening to me?” she thought. As Danson looked away from her, she held her chest and felt her heart beating. “Stop it... it's just a one night stand, don't be affected by it. And besides, you should pretend that nothing happened, right?” she thought.

--

Ella slowly opened the door of her apartment. She went straight to the stairs, when she heard someone caling her. “Ella, where have you been?” She paused, and saw Mike sitting by the dining table. “Seriously, you're not waiting for me, are you?” she asked. Mike shook his head. “I saw you creep inside this house, so I figured that you just came home.” he said. Ella walked up to him, and sat beside him. “Work?” Mike asked. Ella shook her head. “You slept at Angela's and Hebe's place?” he asked again. “Why are you interrogating me?” she asked in an annoyed tone. “Because I'm worried.” Mike said.

Ella sighed as she leaned on the table. “So, where have you been? Don't tel me you got laid last night?” Mike asked. Ella was shocked at his question. She looked at him, and saw him laughing. “M-mike!” she exclaimed. “I'm just kidding. I know you haven't got laid since that wild party back in college. Anyway, I don't know anyone who is willing to do it with you, unless you forced Danson to.” Mike said. He winked at her, and then let out a laugh. Ella could feel her cheeks getting hot because of what her best friend said. “I did not force Danson!” she shouted defensively at him. Mike stopped laughing and gave her a puzzled look. “I... I mean... I... He... we had some work done. I slept. On his living room.” she said. “Relax, I'm just joking. And besides, you don't look like someone whom Danson will sleep with. Well, not to offend you, but despite all the rumors about you two, I see that you two are just friends, no sparks whatsoever.” Mike said.

“You know what... I think I need to go to sleep.” she excused herself. She knew that if she keeps on talking to Mike, especially at her state right now, she might tell him that there is something that happened between her and Danson last night. “All right. Oyasumi nasai!” Mike said as she went up to her room.

--

Monday morning.

Ella ran up to the elevator. It was about to close, but as she ran up to it. “Thank you.” she said as she got in. She was surprised to see Danson inside, and the two of them were alone inside the elevator. “Good morning, Ella.” he said as he smiled at her. “G-good morning.” she said. She looked away from him. She could hear her heart beating fast again, now that she is standing close to him. “How's your weekend?” Danson asked. “Fine.” she said monotonously. She looked up at him, her eyes landing on his thin, pink lips. As she stared at it for a long time, she had the urge to reach up to him, and kiss him. She wanted to feel the warmth of his kisses once again.

She knew she is having indecent thoughts about her boss, so she looked away from him. “Cut it out, Ella... you agreed to forget about the whole thing, right?” she told herself. “Are you OK?” Danson asked. Ella looked up at him, and nodded his head. “Yeah... I guess...” she said. “Good for you.” he said with a sigh. “What does he mean by that?” she thought. She glanced up to him, and noticed the seriousness in his face. “About last Friday night...” she asked. Danson shot a glare at her. “What about it?” he asked. “You and Jiro... broke up... right?” she asked. “Yeah... how could you forget? You were there, remember?” he said in an annoyed tone. “We're supposed to forget everything, right?”
“The part that happened while we were drunk, yes. The part before that, no.”
“All right... just checking... so... you forgot?”

Danson let out a groan. “Ella... we talked about it!” he said. “I know! Just checking. I forgot, all right? What happened?” she asked. He folded his arms, and looked away from her. “Let's not talk about it.” he said. She looked up at him, and stared into her face. She remembered having his face close to her. She remembered his warm breath against his skin just before his kiss. He remembered the warmth of his palms roaming in every inch of her body.

And she shook her head. She doesn't know why she had to remember those things. It was embarrassing enough that after a long time of celibacy, she did it with her boss, her gay boss. It could have any hot guy like that model Wu Chun, or that artist Arron Yan, but it had to be with her boss – her hell of a gay boss.

Ding!

The elevator door opened, and they are now on the Glam office. Danson walked out of the elevator and she followed him inside. He never threw another glance at her, and headed straight to his office, while she went straight to her desk. She slumped on the table, and let out a groan. “Damn... what the hell is happening to me?” she thought. She glanced at his office door, and let out a sigh. “I think I should stay away from him till I totally forget about what happened that night...” she thought.

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Roses For You - Prologue

2010-07-13T11:09:00.000-07:00

The Roses That Started It All

Dear Diary,

You what day is it today, right? It's the day the He took him away from me... from us... Up until now, I'm blaming myself for his loss. It should have been me... but he chose to save me.

Five years have passed. Everyone should have moved on, but not me. Not us. Dad never looked me in the eye, and never talked to me. I knew he is still blaming me for his only son's death. Mom and Dad are still worse than ever. They still fight. Almost everyday. When he was still alive, I would run to his room, and he would cover my ears, sing me a happy sing so that I won't hear their angry shouts downstairs. Now, all I do is lock myself at my room, listen to my iPod till they stop shouting angry words at each other.

I hate my life now. Especially since Kuya Jansen had died. Life has never been all roses to me since he was gone. Maybe... Maybe I should go to where he is right now...

She closed the diary in her hand, and stretched her arms. The cool breeze from the top of the old abandoned school building have always relaxed her, and made her mind at ease from all the pressure of the world. This is her haven, her sanctuary, the place where she could be who she really is.

Jessica Tantoco.

Outside, she is the tough girl that everyone fears of. The captain of the Karate Club who had the reputation of bringing down 10 men onto their knees in a matter of minutes. She was an independent girl who never relied on anyone else, making her friendless. But inside, she was just someone trying to fight the ghost of her pasts.

She closed her eyes for a while to feel the cool breeze the blew to her direction. As she opened her eyes, she saw a small rose that handed on her lap. Puzzled, she picked it up, and looked at it closely. "What? How come this was blown away here?" she thought. She looked down the building, and saw a girl named Tammy trying to pick up a bunch of roses that fell on the ground. "Still weird." she thought. She took the rose, and then put it inside her diary.

The bell rang, and she knew it was time to go back to her facade.

--

A strong gust of wind blew him away, and making his weak body fall on the ground. He muttered a sigh as he fell down. "Hay, Gian Robles... why are you so weak?" he scolded himself.

Gian Robles.

He is the school geek. Always bullied by the frat boys. Always the weak one. Always the one whom everyone makes fun of. He wears too formal clothes with odd color combination. The black thick framed glass on his eye is easily a give-away clue of how smart this genius is. And his brain that's ala Jimmy Neutron somehow always managed to endanger him to the cool species of St. Martin University - that is the members of Pi Micro fraternity.

He stood up from the ground, and then felt something fall from his lap. He looked down, and saw a single stemmed rose on his feet. He bent down, and picked it up. "Huh?" he thought in confusion. He looked up, and saw that cheery girl named Tammy picking up the roses that fell on her hand. Just before the strong wind made him fall down, he saw her rushing to the school auditorium with the roses on her hand, then someone bumped into her, making her lose her balance, and the roses literally flew from her hand. He let out a smile and shook his head. He knew her from his Humanities class, aside from the fact that she had a reputation for being too clumsy.

He made a step forward to approach her, and give her the rose, at least help her gather all the roses that was blown away. Suddenly, he felt danger behind him. He heard someone calling his name sharply. "Gian the nerd!"

He looked back, and saw the frat boys walking up to him. They had this angry expression on their face - and the reason is that he was not able to finish their term papers, making them fail English 2. "Er... Kian?" he said with his voice stuttering. "You are dead meat, nerd boy!" The Kian guy said. He began to move his feet in fear, and before he knew it, he was running for his life.

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Say That You Love Me - Chapter 5

2010-07-11T02:13:00.000-07:00

A Bridge

They said that if you love someone,
You have to set them free.
If they come back to you,
Then they're yours to keep,
And if not...
Then things are not meant to be...
I am at the point of deciding whether I should let you go or not
Days passes by
And each day that I'm seeing that the smile on your face is not mine...
The more that I feel defeated...

--

It has been a week since they last talked to each other.

The first few days, she was able to cope up with it. Lego has always been there to cheer her up, and help her get through this. But as days passes, she had to admit to herself that she is missing Chun. Lately, she have been seeing her best friend with Tiffany again. She could see him smiling happily whenever he is around her, and that nothing else mattered. It seems like it didn't matter to him that she is purposely avoiding him, and it was hurting her even more.

She felt that because of what she did, the two of them are drifting more apart.

“Penny for your thoughts?” she heard someone say. She looked up, and saw Chun walking up to the swing where she is sitting. “Oh, you're here...” she said faintly. The smile on his face was replaced by a pout. “You seem not to happy to see me, huh?” he asked She let out a smile, and shook her head. Chun sat beside her. There was an awkward silence between them as the swing sways that neither of them were too scared to break.

“So...” Chun finally said. “I noticed you and Lego have been getting closer recently. See? I told you he's a nice guy after all...” he said. Ella smiled, and nodded her head. “He is. He... he always helps me out with my assignments and treats me for an ice cream.” she said. Chun nodded his head and looked away from her. “I see...” he said sadly. “He... he seems to be doing things that I was supposed to do...”
“He is a friend.”
“I'm still your best friend, right?”

As Chun faced her, Ella could see the fear in his eyes. “Was he scared to lose me, in the same way that I am scared that he'll leave me?” she thought. “I'm sorry...” he said, still gazing into her eyes. “I'm sorry for ignoring you. I was too caught up with -”
“You don't have to explain everything to me, Chun. I understand. Tiffany, right?”
Chun nodded his head. She looked away from him. She could feel the tear forming at the corner of her eyes. “You... you like her?” she asked bravely. “I don't like her as much as I liked anyone else, Ella. It's not the right word. I could like any girl... but she... she's special...” he said. She bit her lips as she closed her eyes. “You... you love her?” she asked again. “I'm happiest when I get to see her and talk to her. I love being around her. Her mere presence makes my heart skip a beat. I stutter when I talk to her, to the point of making a fool of myself. I blush when I see her smile my way. And she's always in my dreams. If that's not love, then I don't know what that it...” he said. “When... did you... realize that... you... love her?” she asked. Ella could hear her own voice breaking as she speaks those words. She wished she can take back that question, for she doesn't want to know the answer at all. “I don't know... maybe when I got to know her more. All I know is that when I met her... it's like I was dreaming. Birds are chirping, bells are ringing, and my heart was beating fast.” he said.

Ella managed let out a laugh to hide her pain. “You're so corny!” she said. She turned to face him, and he gazed into her eyes. She wanted to melt under his gaze. Looking into his eyes was breaking her heart. She doesn't know if she could continue pretending to be a friend, when all she wanted was to love him. “I don't know if I stand a chance with her, but I'm more than willing to try. I love her, Ella. Will you help me win her heart?” he asked. “And winning her heart means that I'm going to lose you?” she thought as she stared into his big black orbs. She loves Chun, and he wants him to be happy. If being happy means helping him court Tiffany, if being happy means setting aside her own feelings for him so that he could be with the girl he loves, if being happy means letting him go, then she have to do this. She let out a smile, and nodded her head. “I'll help you. Promise. I'll make sure no one gets in your way when you court her.” she said. With that, Chun smiled excitedly, and pulled her into a hug. “Thank you!” he said happily.

She bit her lips and closed her eyes as he hugged her. This time, the tears couldn't help but fall from her eyes. When Chun pulled away from her, he noticed the tears in her eyes. “What's wrong?” he asked worriedly. Ella looked away from him, and wiped the tear from her eyes. “N-nothing...” she said. “Something is wrong... why are you crying?” he asked. She looked at him again and forced a smile on her lips. “S-something g-got inside my eye.” she lied. Chun held her cheeks to take a closer look at her eye. She looked away from his gaze, and then pulled away from him. “I... I have to go...” she said as he stood up. Chun just nodded his head. He watched her as he stood up and walked towards her house. “I'll catch you later, Ella!” he said.

She walked as fast as she could to get away from him. As she reached her house, she ran up to her room. As she closed the door behind her, the tears that she was trying to hold suddenly fell down her cheeks. She leaned on her down, and slowly slid down on the floor as she cried. Now that she have confirmed what Chun really feels for Tiffany, it was breaking her heart even more. Now, she truly know that the fight for his love is over, for he have made his decision. And there's no way he could go on, to hold on, only to give him up so that he could be happy.

--

“Ella, can I talk to you?” Tiffany said as she approached Ella that morning. Ella looked up at her, and nodded her head. “Sure... what can I do for you?” she asked. “I want to talk to you about Chun..” Tiffany said. “W-what about him?” she asked. Tiffany sat beside her and smile. “I want to ask you something, if you don't mind...” she began. She reached for her hand, and held it. “Ella... I know you and Chun have been best friends for so long, and I wonder... was there a time that you liked him more than a best friend?” she asked. Ella let out a nervous laugh “Liked him more than a friend? No way!” she said. Tiffany just smiled. “Really?” she asked. Ella nodded her head. “Chun is not my ideal boyfriend. I can't like him more than a friend. It's like having a crush on my brother... yuck!” she said, making a disgusted expression on her face. Tiffany laughed at her reaction. “Funny... but I'm happy that you only like him as a friend.” she said.

Ella looked at her, and smile. “Why?” she asked. “I don't know... but since Chun and I are getting a little closer... I think I'm starting to have a little crush on him.” Tiffany said as she blushed. Ella was somewhat surprised at what she said, but she saw this coming. She was hoping that maybe Tiffany will only like Chun as a friend, and nothing more. And now, that little spark of hope in her heart is finally gone. Once again, she let out a nervous laugh to cover up her feelings. “Funny... did you know that Chun likes you too...” she said. She saw Tiffany's face lightened up upon hearing that. “Really?” she asked. Ella nodded her head. “He have been talking about you all the time. He have been too mushy about things lately, and believe me, I've never seen him like that. He only got that weird when he met you...” she said. Tiffany blushed upon hearing that. “Sometimes I feel guilty... because it seems that I'm taking too much of his time from you...” she said. Ella let out a smile and shook her head. “I really don't mind at all. I'm glad that the two of you are getting along well... my two best friends... and... and I would be happy if the two of you end up together someday. I'm always after my friends' happiness...” she said. Tiffany smiled at her as she squeezed her hand. “I'm so glad to have you as my friend, Ella. Thank you for supporting us... but can you not let Chun know about this little confession I made?” she asked. Ella nodded her head. “Of course. After all, he have to work hard to have your heart, right?” she said. Tiffany nodded her head.

--

Morning the next day.

Ella got out of the gate, and was heading to school, when she heard Chun calling her. “Ella, wait up!” he called. Ella stopped walking and waited for him to catch up with him. “Hey, Chun... good morning.” she said. Chun smiled at her as he scratched his head. “Can I ask you a favor, Ella?” he asked. “What is it?” she asked. Chun pulled a small envelope from his pocket, and handed it to her. “Please give this to Tiffany...” he said. He clasped his hands, and gave her puppy eyes. Ella looked at the envelope in his hand. She looked at Chun once again, and then laughed at him. “What?” he asked in a confused tone. “Yuck! Love letter. Eeeww.” Ella said. Chun snatched the letter from her hand, and glared at her. “And I thought you would help me!” he said to her.

Ella snatched back the letter. She fumbled with it, and opened it. As Chun looked at her, he saw her reading his letter. “Hey! Don't read that!” he shouted. He tried to snatch it from her hand, but Ella held the letter up as she read it so that Chun can't get it. She ran away from him so that he couldn't get hold of his letter, but Chun ran after her. “No reading! That's not fair!” Chun shouted. After she have read the content of the letter, she looked at Chun and laughed at him. Chun could only glare angrily at him. “Not funny.” he said as he folded his arms. “If you just wanted to ask her out later, why do you still have to give her a note?”
“Because I'm too shy to ask her out, all right?”

Ella laughed at him again, which annoyed him more. “All right... all right... I'll stop laughing now... and I'll give the letter to Tiffany, all right?” she said. With that, Chun's face lightened up. “Promise?” he said. Ella nodded her head. With that, Chun hugged her tight. “Chun... can't breathe...” she said. He let her go, and smiled at her. “Thank you, Ella! You're the best best friend any guy could have.” he said. She rolled her eyes at him. “You owe me one.” she said. He nodded her head. “Why don't you and Lego join us for snacks?” he said, winking at her. Again, she rolled her eyes. It was Chun's turn to laugh this time. “What? I thought the two of you are getting closer?” he said. She let out a sigh. “Fine! I'll see you later.” she said.

==

The bell rang. As soon as the teacher left the room, Ella turned to Tiffany, and smiled at her. “My best friend wants to give this to you.” she said, handing her the letter. Tiffany excitedly open the letter, and read it. After she finished reading it, she looked at Ella and smiled. “He's asking me out!” she said. Ella nodded her head. “So, are you going with him later?” she asked. Tiffany nodded her head. “I sure will.” Tiffany said with a smile. Ella nodded her head again, and as she turned away from her, the smile on her face slowly faded.

School have ended. Ella and Tiffany rushed to the gate, and saw Chun and Lego waiting for them. Ella looked at Tiffany, and saw her face glow upon seeing Chun. She looked at Chun, and upon seeing Tiffany, his face lightened up just like before. It was breaking her heart to see him like this, for she is wishing that he would be like that when he looks at her. She forced a smile on her face as they walked up to them.

“You guys sure are early.” she commented. “You know what they say. Early bird flocks together.” Lego said. Ella laughed at his joke, but then noticed that the two didn't cracked up. She looked at them, and she saw them staring at each other. “Errr... do you think the two of you should get going?” Ella said. Chun gave her a confused look. “The date, remember?” she said. Chun blushed at what she said. “Aren't you guys going with us?” Tiffany asked. Ella smiled at her as she shook her head. She walked besides Lego, and held his arm. “Lego and I have some other plans, so you two should get going.” she said. Lego gave her a shocked look. “We have plans?!” she asked. She smiled at him while glaring at him, and nudged his side. “Y-yeah... I forgot... we... should go to the university library for some research.” Lego said. “Are you sure you guys didn't want to come?” Chun asked again. “Studies first before dating.” Lego said. Chun said goodbye to the two, and then took Tiffany by the hand. As they leave, Ella was watching them. Chun is being too sweet with Tiffany, and even held her bag, and she was starting to envy her.

“I'm seeing the green eyed monster coming out of you eyes!” Lego teased. Ella could only glare at him. “Shut up.” she hissed at him. “Come on, let's go to the uni. At least, let's try to roam the place, and see if there are already giving out application forms.” Lego said. Ella nodded her head, and then followed Lego.

==

“So, we should come back next week. You better tell Chun about it, all right?” Lego said to Ella. Ella folded her arms as she continued to walk. “Why don't you tell him instead?” she said. Lego sneered at her. “You are jealous. If you don't want Chun to be with Tiffany, why did you leave them alone?” Lego said. Ella didn't answer his question. She just kept her silence. As they reached the school exit, Ella turned to Lego. “Why don't you go ahead, Lego. I want to wander around a little bit.” she said. Lego looked at her worriedly. “Are you sure you don't want me around? I promise not to annoy you.” he said. Ella smiled at him. “I'm sure. It might take me a long time, so you should get going.” she said. He said goodbye to her, and Ella went back inside the university.

She wandered around the uni for a while, until she reached the school chapel. There was some force that was pulling her inside the chapel, so she decided to get in. She looked around it, and was amazed how the stained glass lightened up the whole place. She took a seat at the back, and then stared at the cross in front of her. She felt that all of her heartaches faded when she got inside the chapel, that she was unburdened with all the pain. She fell at peace the moment she entered this place, and that she have forgotten how hurt she was when she saw Tiffany and Chun together.

Her thoughts were interrupted when she heard someone strumming the guitar. She looked in front of her, and she saw a guy sitting at the front row.

“I can see you standing in the pouring rain
Waiting for changes to carry you away
I can see the light fall from your eyes
As we get lost in the tears of this goodbye...”

Curious, Ella stood up, and tiptoed her way to him. As she got nearer, the guy stopped playing the guitar, and looked at her. She suddenly panicked when he found out her presence. “Hey!” he said, smiling at her. The only thing she thought that she could do is escape. “Sorry!” she said to him. She turned her back on him, and ran out of the chapel. The guy stood up, and followed her. “Wait!” he shouted. But he was too late, for Ella have already gone the moment he got out.

“Hey, Cal. Band practice in 5.” he heard someone said. The guy looked at his friend and nodded his head. He turned his attention to the direction where Ella ran to, and smiled to himself. “Will I see you again?” he thought.

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Me & My Gay Boss - Episode 8

2010-07-10T14:23:00.000-07:00

Episode 8 – Break Up, Make Out

“I just don't see the point as to why you have to tell your mom that you're gay!” Jiro said disappointedly to Danson that night. “I had no other choice. She cornered Ella, and the only thing left to do is to tell her the truth.” Danson explained. Jiro folded his arms, and glared at his lover. He was too careful not to let their families know about the two of them and about their sexual preference, and here is his boyfriend, who had no qualms telling his own mother about us. “So, what if your mom bumped into my dad and tell him, 'Oh, did you know that your Jiro is dating my Danson?' You're not thinking, aren't you?” Jiro snapped at him. “I did not tell my mom anything about us!” Danson said defensively. “I just came out of the closet, but I never said anything about us!” he added.

Jiro shook his head as he sigh. “Do you think you could get away with just telling your mom that you're gay, without her asking you if have a lover or something? I know your mom!”
“You don't know my mom as much as I do!”
“But for sure he asked you if you have one!”
“Even if I did, do you think I will tell her the truth? Don't you trust me?”
Jiro looked away from him. Danson walked in front of him and made him face him. He held his shoulders, and stared into his eyes. “Do you think I would ruin you? Do you think I will betray your trust? I love you too much, Jiro. I can't do that to you, all right?” Danson said. Jiro brushed his hands away from him. “I don't know, Danson. I don't know...” he said. Danson gave him a puzzled look. “Look, things are getting out of hand, and I don't know whether I still want to be with you or not. I think both of us needs a break.” he said.

Danson's eyes widened upon hearing what he said. “What?!” he said. “You heard it. I need a break. Let's have a cool off for a while, all right?” Jiro said. Danson could not believe what he is hearing. “You... you want to break up... with me?!” he asked, still in a state of shock. “Look, we both need time and space apart. There's a lot of things going on inside my mind, and the last thing I need is this.” Jiro said. “You're mad at me because of what I did?” he asked. Jiro didn't answer his question. Instead, he turned his back at him, and left.”

--

“Where's boss? I need to have these photos approved.” Ella asked Annie. “He's inside, but he doesn't want to be disturbed right now.” Annie said. Ella gave her a wondering look. “Is he having a meeting with someone right now?” Ella asked. Annie shook his head. “Nope. When he came in this morning, he told me to cancel all his meetings, reject all phone calls and when someone asks for him, to tell them that he is not around.” Annie said. She stared at the door for a while, and then looked back at Annie and smiled. “I think the boss wouldn't mind if I see him, right?” she asked. “Maybe not, if it's about work.” Annie said. Ella smiled at her, then she reached for the doorknob and opened his office.

“Boss...” she called as she got inside his office. She closed the door behind her, and as she looked at Danson, she was shocked to see him. His suit is disheveled, as if he didn't put too much effort in fixing it. He had black circles in his eyes, as if he looked like a panda. And his hair that used to be neatly brushed, is disheveled as well. On top of that, his once clean desk is now filled with documents and papers which he haven't take a look yet, or not needed. “What happened? Why is your office a mess? Why are you a mess?” she asked. Danson, who was folding a paper plane, threw it at the other side of the room, and then he turned to face Ella. “I am a mess, all right?” he said. Ella walked up to him, and had a closer look at his face. His eyes are red and puffy, as if he cried the whole night the night before. “You cried?” she asked. Danson pouted, and nodded his head. “Why? Did you and Jiro had a fight?” she asked. “Worse. He broke up with me.” he said.

Ella was surprised at what he said. “He did? But why?” she asked. “Because I told my mom that I am gay... and he was scared that his dad will finally find out that he is too, and that I am his lover. He said he needed to think things through, and he needs the time and space alone.” he said. Ella felt sad for Danson. She knew how much he loves Jiro, and now that they broke up, she could feel the pain he is feeling. “Oh, Danson...” she said. She hugged him tight, and with that, Danson broke down. “You'll be fine. One day, Jiro will realize that he is wrong. I'm sure one day, he'll come knocking at your door, and beg you to come back to his life. And if not... you know what they say, there's a lot of fish in the ocean.” she said. “Are you saying that to make me feel all right? It's not working, you know!” Danson said as he cried.

Ella pulled away from him, and gave him a smile. “Tell you what, instead of crying over your break up, I think it's better if you enjoy your newfound single life for now.” She said. Danson wiped the tear from his eyes as he gave her a confused look. “What do you mean?” he asked. “How about a girls' night out. We could go to a club, then hunt for cute guys, and you could find a replacement for Jiro.” she said. Danson gave her dagger looks because of what she said. “I have no intentions of replacing him!” he said. Ella could only giggle at his reaction. “OK then. How about singing your lungs out at the Karaoke Bar tonight?” she asked. Then, she winked at him.

--

Neomu neomu meotjyeo nunee nunee bushyeo
Soomeul motshigesseo ddeollineun geol
Gee gee gee gee baby baby baby
Gee gee gee gee baby baby baby

Angela and Hebe were dancing to the tune of “Gee”, while everyone was laughing at the two for the silly dance steps that they make. That night, Ella was able to convince Danson to go out with them. She called on Angela, Hebe, Ariel, Mike and George to join them. “And thank you very much, Girls Generation, Taiwanese version.” George said as soon as Angela and Hebe headed back to their seats. “All right! Who wants to hear Mike He sing?” George asked. All of them groaned and protested, except for Mike and Danson. “Well, I will sing whether you like it or not!” Mike said. Danson was wondering why all of them doesn't want Mike to sing. “Because he really couldn't sing.” Ella explained to her. Danson just nodded his head. “Fair enough.” he said. “OK, anyone here wants to hear the great Ella Chen sing?” George asked. Everyone raised their hands, and cheered on Ella. Ella groaned and shook her head. “Not this time, all right?” she said. Everyone groaned with frustration. “Oh, come on, Ella...” Ariel said. “If Ella doesn't to sing, then I will!” Mike said. The three protested and threw napkins at him. Mike ducked and covered himself from their attacks. “All right, all right! I won't sing!” he said.

Ella and Danson just watched as their friends attached Mike. “Hey, how about boss?” Hebe suggested. Everyone seemed to agree with him. “Me?” Danson said in a shocked tone. “Yeah, boss. You should sing. Everyone have their turn.” Hebe sad. “Everyone, except Mike.” George said. Danson gave Ella a hesitant look. Ella smiled at him, and gave him a thumbs up sign. He let out a sigh, and dragged himself up from his seat. He took the microphone, and selected a song to sing.

I guess she was restless
And she just couldn't wait
Didn't want to miss a thing
Or be a minute late

We all know the feelin'
I used to be that way
That's why I can say to her
Baby I really want you to stay

So I'll be standing by
Watching her come and go
And after we've said good-bye
There's still one thing I think she should know

Tell her I'll be waiting
And I'll be holding on
Every minute she's gone
She's gone too long

Tell her I'll be waiting
If I can be that strong
Every minute she's gone
She's gone too long

I know I'll remember
The face I can't forget
And I'll have time to thing about
All of the things we haven't done yet
And maybe it was timin'
Needed a place to start
That's why I can say to her
Baby, you're taking a piece of my heart

So I'll be standing by
Watching her come and go
After we've said good-bye
There's still one thing
I think she should now

Tell her I'll be waiting
And I'll be holding on
Every minute she's gone
She's gone too long

Tell her I'll be waiting
If I can be that strong
Every minute she's gone
She's gone too long

I know you have to fly
Everyone needs to be free
I won't stand in your way
I'll be right here
Whenever you need me

Tell her I'll be waiting
And I'll be holding on
Every minute she's gone
She's gone too long

Tell her I'll be waiting
If I can be that strong
Every minute she's gone
She's gone too long

Just tell her I'll be waiting
I'll try to carry on
Every minute she's gone
She's gone too long

Every minute she's gone
She's gone too long

Every minute she's gone
She's gone too long
Everyone clapped their hands after Danson sang his song. He went back to his seat as soon as Mike jumped out of his to argue with George about him singing next. “So... that song... that's for him, right?” Ella asked. Danson paused for a while then he looked at her. “How did you know?” he asked. “Because the song is about waiting for someone whom you know will not come back anymore...” she said. Danson lowered his head, and let out a sad sigh. He felt Ella hold his hand. He looked up at her, and saw her smiling at him. “Don't worry, I know things will go back to normal. Jiro will understand everything, and the two of you will make up...” she said. Danson let out another sigh. “I really hope so...” he said as he sulked.
Ella knew that dragging Danson to the KTV bar with her friends is not helping him at all. She have to think of other ways to cheer him up. “You want to sneak out and get some fresh air?” she asked him. Danson nodded his head. “I think I need some fresh air.” he said. Ella nodded his head. She looked at her friends, and saw that they were too busy taking off the mic from Mike's hand. They stood up, and got out of the room.
They stood outside the bar. Danson was silent the whole time, while Ella was trying to cheer him up by telling him funny stories and some jokes. “I guess I should give up now... it doesn't matter how funny my stories are, you don't seem to laugh at it.” she said. Danson gave her a faint smile. “I'm sorry, Ella... I guess, no matter how people try to make you smile, when your heart is hurting, you can't find a reason to smile at all.” he said. “But there will be some people that won't stop till they see you smile, like me.” he said. She slipped her hand to his, and then held it tight. Danson looked at her, and smiled. “I'm glad that you're here with me...” he said. Ella smiled back at him, and then she hugged him. They were in that position for so long, until they heard George calling them.
“Hey, guys... what are you doing here?” he said as he broke the two. He smiled at them, and put his arms around them. “Let's go back inside. Help us take the microphone away from Mike and save us from becoming deaf, all right?” George said. Ella and Danson nodded their heads. “Time to go back inside.” Danson said. Then, they went back inside the bar.
==
“Ella, I've got a personal question to you that I want you to answer truthfully, all right?” George said. It's midnight, and the two were lounging at the living room after they have gone from the KTV bar. “Shoot. What is it?” Ella asked. “Are you in love with your boss?” George said. Ella looked at her best friend for a long time, and then burst out laughing, which made George puzzled. “Why are you laughing? I'm serious!” George said. “Look, Danson and I are just friends, aside from the fact that he is my boss.” Ella said. “Come on, you two are too close for comfort. Not to mention, the paparazzi have been insinuating things, and that wedding announcement his mom made...”
“It was all a big misunderstanding”
“All of a sudden, you asked us out, and you brought him with you.”
“All of us needed a break.”
“You hugged him!”

George pointed at her accusingly. Ella shook her head. She turned to him, and then pulled him to a hug, which shocked George. “There.” she said as she let him go. “I hugged you, feels much better?” she said. “This is not the issue of who you are hugging or not, all right?!” he exclaimed. “Then, what are you trying to prove?” she asked him. “That you are in love with your boss.” George said. Ella paused, and looked at him. “And you have not realized it yet.” he continued.

--

Office hours have ended. Friday night.
Danson got out of his office, and saw Ella fixing her bag, and was almost ready to go home. “Ella, do you have plans tonight?” he asked. Ella looked up at him, and shook her head. “Nope. I'm planning to stay home since I'm alone. Ariel and Mike are going south for a vacation, and George said he have a hot date tonight.” she said. With that, Danson smiled at her. “Cool! Do you want to go out tonight? Coffee or clubbing later?” he asked. Ella smiled at him, and then she put her hand on her waist. “So, is this your way of trying to move on?” she asked. Danson smirked at him as he folded his arms. “I can't always sulk because of our break up, right? I want to enjoy being single for once.” he said. “Well, I'm glad you finally figured it out. Shall we go?” she asked. Danson said. “Let's have dinner first. I'm starving.” Danson said.

They went to one of the restaurants within the block to have their dinner. After an hour, they finished eating, and left the place. As they walked towards Danson's car, Ella noticed a familiar car which is parked at the other side of the street. “Isn't that Jiro's car?” she asked. Danson looked up, and at that very moment, Jiro came out of the cafe, with a younger man walking beside him. “Yeah..” he said. He had a bad feeling about the guy whom Jiro is with. He saw Jiro clinging onto the guy, and the guy was flirting with him. After a while, the two got inside the car, and sped away. “Who is he with? Is he a friend?” Ella asked. Danson shook his head. “I don't know who the guy is, but I have a very bad feeling about them...” he said. Ella threw him a puzzled look. “Get in the car.” he commanded her. Ella was surprised at his angry reaction. “Where are we going?” she asked the moment they both got inside the car. Danson started the engine, and began to drive. “To Jiro's pad.” he said.

==

Ella let Danson drag her up to Jiro's pad. She couldn't ask him anything about why they are here, because Danson is already steaming from anger. They stopped at Jiro's door, then he began to fumble for the keys in his pocket. “I don't think this is a good idea, Danson... you two broke up, remember?” he said. Danson could only glare at her. As soon as he got the key, he slipped it on the door, and turned it to open. He stormed inside the pad, and then headed to Jiro's room.

He swung the door open, and he saw Jiro on bed with the guy he was with moments ago. And they were both naked. Jiro was surprised to see his ex-boyfriend in his pad. “D-Danson?” he said as he sat up, covering his naked body. Danson closed his eyes. He knew something fishy is going on. He was hurt, he was angry, he wanted to punch Jiro and hurt him in the same way that he did. He wanted to cry, but he can't cry in front of him. “How could you do this to me?” he said softly. As he opened his eyes, he saw Jiro shaking his head. “We're through, all right?” he said in annoyed tone. “You said you want space and time? Is this the space and time you're talking about?” he shouted with anger.

Ella walked up beside Danson, and held him by the arm. She's afraid that he might do something that he will regret. “Look, I can do whatever I want, all right?” Jiro said in an annoyed tone. “So, just because we broke up, you can fuck whoever you want? Huh? Well then, fuck you, Jiro! Fuck you!” Danson said. He walked towards him, and slapped him in his face. When he was about to slap him again, Jiro held his both hands so that he can't hrt him. “Stop it, Danson!” Ella said. She managed to pull him away from his ex. The guy beside Danson glared at him. “Look, bitch... no matter what you do, Jiro will not come back to you. He is not in love with you anymore. I'm the one he loves.” the guy said. Danson glared at him, and then glared back at Jiro. Jiro could only lower his head. “You... you... love this faggot?!” Danson shouted. “Of course, he is! Why would you think he will always make an excuse not to see you? Do you think he is going overseas for some business? Of course not! He is out with me all the time! And you being with that bitchy girl all the time is not helping at all. Good thing you told your mom about you being gay, and he got a reason to break it up with you.” the guy said haughtily. Danson looked at Jiro, and this time, he smirked him. “You heard him.” he said. “You don't love me anymore?” he asked in a hurt tone. Jiro nodded his head. “So, I guess you have to leave. We're through. I'm with Zax now.” he said. No matter how much he calmed himself down, he just couldn't. He clenched his fist, and then threw a hard punch on Jiro's face. “Thank you for breaking my heart!” he shouted at him before storming out.

--

They ended up at his pad that night

Danson took the bottle of whiskey, and poured himself another glass of wine. He gulped down his drink, and then poured the content of the bottle on his glass again. “Danson, stop it.” Ella said, pulling the bottle away from him. He let her take away the bottle from him. After he finished his drink, he slumped on the bar counter, and then broke down. Ella could feel the pain he is feeling right now. She was in a similar situation months back, and she knew that Danson needs her now more than ever. She rubbed his back to comfort him. “Danson...” she called. “He doesn't love me anymore...” he said softly.

Ella sighed as he sat beside him. “It's his loss that he let go of a wonderful man like you. He could never find another you, Danson.” she said. Danson looked at her with tears in his eyes. “It's not really helping, Ella.” he said. “Then what do you want me to do to make you feel better?” she asked. Danson sat up from his seat. He grabbed another glass, and poured the whiskey on it and gave it to Ella. “Drink with me. Share my misery.” he said. Ella took the glass, and drank up it's contents.

A few drinks later, the two were already drunk. “That stupid faggot must think Jiro is a good lover... he isn't! He's a lousy lover!” Danson slurred. Ella could only laugh at him. “You're just jealous... that he is fucking your ex...” she said. “I can fuck with every hot guy I know... I just chose to be faithful to him... stupid him! Stupid me... I wasted my youth on that one guy...” he said. He then slumped on the counter again. “You'll find a better man... believe me... the next one you'll meet will be much better that Jiro... especially in bed...” Ella said. Danson could only laugh at her.

He laughed, and laughed, until he began to cry again. “I still love him...” he said as he cried. Ella reached for his face, and wiped the tear in his eyes. “I love him... I still do... and if he ask me back... I will still take him back... I love him... I love him... I love him...” he muttered until he fell asleep. She watched him as he sleeps. Her fingers trail onto his cheek. For her, Danson is a perfect boyfriend. Anyone would be lucky to be loved by him, and it's a pity that Jiro just dumped him to be with another. She moved closer to her, and then, she kissed him on the lips. With that, Danson opened his eyes, and then he looked at Ella.

When Danson woke up from her kiss, she realized that what she did is wrong. She was too embarrassed for kissing him, she didn't even know what came into her that she kissed him. “I... I have to go...” she said. She stood up, but stumbled when she tried to walk. Danson held her hand. She looked at him for a long time, and he stared into her face. “Stay with me... please... this night would be hell for me if you leave me...” he said. Ella shook her head. “I can't... I can't...” she said. She doesn't know how he did it, but before she knew it, she was already in his arms. She felt her world swirling, and before she knew it, he was kissing her lips.

And before she knew it, they were in his room, he was taking their clothes off, and Danson was already making love to her.

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New Story Line Ups

2010-07-06T14:56:00.000-07:00

Maybe you're all curious as to what those stories under the "Coming Soon" part. So let me share to you the gist of my upcoming stories :)

My Fallen Star
This is an original story. If you've watched ToGetHer, then you will have an idea what this is all about. The story is about Orion, a Taiwanese superstar, which was exiled in the Philippines because of his misbehavior. During his stay, he met Jette, the emo-girl vocalist/bassist of the band called "Lower Ground", who will teach him to love his craft, to appreciate all the small opportunities along the way, and to love like he never loved before. In the end, he have to choose if it's gonna be his career or the love of his life.

Polaris
Another original story of mine which I wrote 3 years ago, same with Paper Stars. The story sets in the modern times, in the fictional Asian country called Tulsiana. The story revolves around Heidi Choi, the heiress of the country's most powerful clan whom everyone tries to hide from the world because of her condition, and Gregory Laurenti, the son of an ambitious politician with a painful childhood. Within the walls of the St. Christopher Of The Cross Royal Academy, and amidst the power struggle of the influential families of Tulsiana, the two will fall in love and will try to run away from those that are breaking them apart.

Roses For You
Original story. Gian is a shy, nerdy guy who gets bullied by the campus bad boys. One day, while trying to run away from them, he bumped into Jesse, a bad-tempered girl whom everyone is scared of, and she protected Gian from the bullies. This made Gian fall in love with her. He wanted to pursue her, but is too scared of her because of her reputation, and so he decided to leave a rose to her each day to let her know how much he loves her. But the problem is, he left it at the wrong locker, and the school sweetheart, Belle, was the one getting his roses.

Love Starts Here
This is a CE fanfic. Yay! He is nice guy - straight A student, leader, athlete. So when he violated the most important school rule, everyone was shocked and disappointed with him. And as a punishment for what he have done, he had to do community service at a juvenile center, where she met her. She was seen as a slut and a drug addict, but behind that brave facade is a girl with a dark past. She just wanted to get out of the hell she is in, and he will do everything to save her.

So what do you think of these new stories? let me know, all right?

Say That You Love Me - Chapter 4

2010-07-03T11:36:00.000-07:00

Invisible

What hurts the most is that I lost sight of you...
You never looked back at me the way you used to
You had your eyes set on her
It's as if she is the only scenery in this world
Like she have blinded you and put you into this spell
What used to be mine before
You took them away and gave it to her
And I am nothing but invisible for you...

--

Soiree.

Ella have always hated interactions with another all-boy's school. But this one is something that she have been looking forward to – it was their interaction with the boys from Southwoods. And they will be interacting with Chun's class.

As they entered the hall, Ella and Tiffany found their seat right in front of Chun and Lego. Ella smiled and waved at Chun, but Chun didn't look her way, and instead, he only had his eyes with Tiffany. He smiled at her, and waved back at her. She looked at Tiffany, and saw her smiling and waving at Chun. She could only sigh and shook her head. As she threw a quick glance at Chun, she noticed that Lego, who was sitting beside her best friend, was smirking at him. She folded her arms, and took her seat. “You saw Chun?” Tiffany said. Ella let out a faint smile and nodded her head. She looked at Chun, and noticed that he was eying Tiffany the whole time. It doesn't help that Lego was somehow encouraging him. She folded her arm, and just let out a sigh.

“Ladies and Gentlemen, it's time to find your partners.” The class president from Ella's section announced. “Remember the half hearts we gave yo when you guys came in? You have to find the other half of the heart. But make sure that the code name written on the heart is the real partner of the other half, all right?” the class president from Chun's class said. Ella let out another side, and looked at the red half-heart on her hand. “Zhi Nu, huh? I wonder who is Niu Lang... Tiff, what's written on your half heart?” Ella asked. “I'm Helen of Troy.” Tiffany said. Ella just nodded her head. Then, a line of boys came up to Tiffany, to try out if their half-hearts will fit that of Tiffany's half heart. Some of them fits, but wasn't the appropriate partner for her. The boys were disappointed to know that they can't be her partner. Meanwhile, Ella waited for Chun to come and approach her. She was praying so hard that he would be Niu Liang. Then, Chun walked up to them. She let out a wide smile as she saw him coming their way. Just as she readied herself for him, to her dismay, he walked up to Tiffany. “Hi, can I try your heart with mine? Mine says Paris, by the way.” Chun said. The smile on Ella's face disappeared in an instant when she heard what he said. She looked at Tiffany and noticed her face lightened up upon hearing what he said. “Really? Mine says Helen of Troy!” Tiffany said. Chun smiled at her excitedly. “Really? Then we're partners!” Chun said. Then, he offered his hand to her, and Tiffany took it. She stood up from her chair, and went with him at the other side.

Ella could only watch as the two leave to their own little world. It was hurting her that Chun was ignoring her. It's as if she doesn't exist at all. He only had his eyes on Tiffany, while she is invisible in his eyes. “Hey, dork... are you Zhi Nu?” she heard someone asked. She looked back, and saw Lego standing beside her. “Don't deny it. I've asked all the girls in your class, and they're not Zhi Nu.” he said. Ella rolled her eyes at him. “And don't tell me that you're Niu Liang?” she asked sarcastically. Lego let out an evil smile and nodded his head. “The one and only!” he said. Ella could not believe her luck. First, her best friend is ignoring her, and didn't became her partner, and now, the guy she least expected to be her partner, the very same guy who annoys the hell out of her turns out to be her partner. “Great. Just great.” she sighed. “Well, you're lucky that I'm your partner! I know a lot of girls wants me.” Lego said proudly. He leaned back on his chair, and as he looked at Ella, he noticed that she was looking at Chun and Tiffany sadly. Somehow, he felt sad for her. He knew that she was expecting that her best friend would be her partner, but it didn't turn out that way.

“You know what, Tiffany and Chun looks good together.” Lego said. Ella just continued to stare at the two, who were happily chatting that time. “I was wishing he will be my partner.” she answered. “You can't always be with your best friend. You have to give him space and let him mingle with other girls.” Lego said. Ella just sighed, and then stood up from her chair, and walked away from him. Lego then followed her. “Wait, where are you going?” he asked, tailing her. “Away from you.” Ella snapped at him. Lego dashed in front of her to stop her. “Whoa! Did you got up from the wrong side of the bed? Why are you in a bad mood?” he asked. Ella glared at him, and folded her arms. “Because you're going to irritate me again, you annoying dork!” she snapped again. Lego let out a laugh, and shook his head, much to Ella's irritation. “What?” she asked in an irritated tone. “I know you're mad because you didn't end up with your best friend. Just to make you feel at ease, Chun wants to be your partner as well, all right? We even exchanged hearts just to be sure that he'll get you as his partner.” Lego said. Ella looked at him for a long time, then shook her head. “Are you blind? This whole time, he only had his eyes on Tiffany. He was expecting her, not me. And you saying that he was expecting me as his partner is not helping at all, all right? It's not like I'm mad. All right, I'm mad. He didn't even notice me. He acts as if I don't exist. I don't deserve this. I didn't do anything wrong to him for him to treat me like this. Now, if you'll excuse me, I want to get out of here.” she said. She was about to make her move, when Lego stopped her again by holding her hand. Ella paused, and looked at him. “Are you just going to leave and admit defeat? Or will you make him realize that what he's doing to you is wrong?” Lego said. Ella sighed, and turned her back on him.

--

“Lego, have you seen Ella?” Chun asked after a while. Lego looked at him, and let out a sigh. “If I know where she is, I wouldn't look like a fool without a partner here, all right?” he said. Chun gave him a confused look. “I'm Ella's partner.” Lego said. Chun folded his arms, and looked sternly at him. “Did you annoy my best friend again?” he questioned him. “Do I look like someone who annoys her all the time?”
“Then, where have she gone off?”
“Am I her bodyguard?”
“Why are you acting like that?”
“Because all thanks to you, I ended with no partner at all. She left because she's pissed off at her best friend for ignoring her the whole time. She left me.”

Chun was taken aback by what Lego said. He had no intentions of ignoring Ella. In fact, he is looking forward to having her as her partner, but he got so excited when he found out that Tiffany is his partner. “Where could have she gone off to?” he asked. Lego shrugged his shoulders. “Beats me. You should know. You're her best friend after all.” he said. He patted Chun's shoulder and went back to mingle with the rest of the students. Chun was left alone, wondering where Ella is, and worrying about her.

--

Ella came home that afternoon. She slammed the door of her room, and then jumped on her bed. She is still mad at Chun for ignoring her. “Ella! I said no banging of doors, remember?” her elder sister, Joe, said as she entered her room. Ella glanced at her for a while, then looked away. Joe noticed that something is wrong with her sister. “Mei, are you all right? You seem sad...” Joe said worriedly. She walked up to her sister, and sat on her bed. “Anything wrong?” she asked. “I hate Chun!” Ella shouted. Joe gave her sister a puzzled look. “What did he do this time?” she asked. Ella let out a sigh instead of answering her sister. “Look, whatever it is that happened between you and Chun, I know you can patch thing up, just like before. And besides, you two are like best friends forever. You can't hate him forever.” Joe said. Ella sighed again. “I can. Especially when he ignores me for some cute girl.” she muttered.

When Joe heard that, she burst out laughing. Ella rolled her eyes at her sister. “Sorry, mei... I can't help it...” she said as soon as her laughter died down. “Nothing is funny!” Ella shouted at her. “All right, all right... so that is the reason why you're angry? Well, I don't see anything wrong with that.” Joe said. She sighed, then lay down on the bed beside her sister. “Ella, one day you will have to let go of Chun. One day, you will have to slip away from his side to let him have his own way and to make him happy. You can't always be with him, all right? He may be your best friend, but he have his own life to live... and you do too. There are a lot of guys out there vying for your attention, and once in a while, you have to take your eyes off of him, and see what's the scenery aside from him. One day, you will have to be apart to grow individually, but that doesn't mean that he isn't your best friend anymore.” her sister said. Ella looked away from her sister, realizing that she is right. She also wanted Chun to be happy, and even though it was hurting her, she have to let him have more time with Tiffany. She have to ready herself, and eventually learn to live a life without him.

“So, if I were you, it would be better if find other guys to hang out with. Your world doesn't revolve around him.” Joe said, winking at her. “So, what do I do if he's ignoring me because of a girl?” Ella asked. “Then, give him a dose of his own medicine! Ignore him as well. If you found a new friend to hang out with, at least he would realize what he have been doing to you is wrong.” Joe said. Ella smiled at her sister. “Thanks, jie!”

--

Ella was doing her math assignment. Once again, she was stuck with one of the items on her assignment. She reached for her phone, and then dialed Chun's phone. By how it rang, she could tell that she is on the call wait again, and he is probably talking to someone. “Probably, Tiffany...” she thought. She let out a sigh. “How can I finish this assignment if Chun is always busy with Tiffany? I can't do this at school tomorrow, or I'll make a fool of myself again in front of her.” she said. She groaned, and lay on her bed.

Then, she remembered something. She remembered what Lego told her the other day when he was annoying her the other day. “I can also solve math problems, you know. If you can't reach your ever beloved best friend, you can call me. For a price, of course.” she remembered Lego saying. She sat up, and took her notebook, going through the very last page. She saw Lego's number. She took the phone, and dialed it. After three rings, he finally answered her call. “Hello?” he said. “Hi, this is Ella Chen. May I please speak with Lego Li?” she said. There was a pause on the other line for a while, then she heard him burst out laughing. “Why so formal, dork?”
“Because this is my first time to call you, dork.”
“Oh, so the next time you will call me, you will look for the great Lego Li?”
“No, more of the great dork.”

She heard Lego laughed at the other line, and this made her smile. “So, need help with some math assignment you got there?” he asked. “I won't call you if Chun's line isn't busy. And I'm still pissed off at him for ignoring me at the soiree, so go figure.” she said. “You must understand that this comes with a price, right?”
“What, I'll be your slave for a week?”
“I'll let you know what it is, as long as you agree.”
“How can I agree to something when I don't even know what that is?”
“You must agree. You need to get that assignment done, right?”
“Can you let me know what you want in exchange for this favor I'm asking you?”
“Well, you just have to hang out with me after school for 10 days.”

Ella was surprised at what he said. “What?!” she asked. “Seems you don't want to. Well, I've got assignments of my own too”
“Wait, wait.”
She sighed, and decided to agree with what he wants. “All right, you got it. I'll hang out with you for ten days.” she said. “And that would start tomorrow. I'll wait for you outside your school gate, all right?” he said. Ella smiled, and nodded her head. “All right. Now, can you help me with my assignment” she asked. “Sure thing. Dictate to me the problem, and I'll solve it for you in no time.”

--

As soon as the school bell rang, Lego took his bag, and dashed out of the room, which puzzled Chun. “Lego!” he shouted at him. Lego stopped running, and looked back at him. “What? Hurry up, will you? Someone's waiting for me.” he said with a smile. “You have a date? Is that the reason why you're on a rush, and did not wait for me?” Chun asked. Lego just smiled at him. “I have to go, all right? I'm hanging out with a new friend I met.” he said. Before Chun could react, Lego dashed away from him. He shook his head, and decided to follow Lego.

He reached the school gate. He saw Lego got out, and walked to the direction towards St. Margaret's. “Did he meet someone at the soiree?” Chun thought. He hid by a tree not far away from the school gate of St. Margaret's. Lego stood by the gate, patiently waiting for someone. Just then, a swarm of students got out. Then, Chun saw Ella came out of the gate. He went out of hiding to approach her. “Ella!” he shouted. Ella didn't seem to hear him. Instead, she approached Lego. “Sorry to be late. Our History teacher held us up.” Chun heard Ella tell Lego. He was surprised to find that Lego was waiting for Ella. He knew that the two didn't get along well. “It's all right. You're worth the wait.” Lego said. He saw Ella smile at him. There was a glow in her when she looked at Lego, and for some reason, seeing them together and getting along somehow made his heart flinch. He was used to being the only guy she is hanging out with, and she wasn't ready for that scene before her. “So, where do you want to go? Oh, I forgot... you like ice cream. There's this new ice cream parlor around the block. Want to try it out?” Lego asked. Ella nodded her head. “Sure! I haven't been there. I'd love to go there.” Ella said. Lego smiled at her, and held her hand. And Chun could only watch as the two leaves.

He followed the two. He called Ella's name, but she didn't hear her. “Ella!” he shouted. “I think someone is calling you...” Lego said. Ella heard Chun's voice, but chose to ignore it. “i didn't hear anything.” she lied. “Maybe it's about time to clean your ears.” he joked. Ella laughed and then hit his arm. Chun could only sigh as he watched the two. At that very moment, he was starting to get scared – scared that someone will replace him in Ella's life.

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About "Always and Forever" and "99 Love Notes"

2010-07-02T08:43:00.001-07:00

If you have noticed, I started "Always and Forever" last year. This month, to be exact, I guess. I wrote it right after "99 Paper Cranes" was done, because I just can't get enough of Calvin Chen. But sadly, aside from my writer's block, I'm not so happy with the way the story is progressing. ~~aside from the fact that I am not happy with what Calvin Chen is doing with his life~~. You see, when I was plotting this one, and when I was actually writing it, I realized that there are some loopholes in it. And when I thought of the ending, it's not as dramatic as I had for "99 Paper Cranes", "Say That You Love Me" and "99 Love Notes" (which I also fail to update

OK, so let's talk about "99 Love Notes". It was supposed to be the story of Chun and Danson right after they graduated from college. I was not able to update it before ~~because I got mad with Calvin~~ ~~because Calvin broke my heart which makes me not want to update it~~ because I also had a writers block. Ideas for new stories came, and I completely forgot my plot for this one, to the point that I got stuck writing the 9th chapter. And since this was supposed to be a sequel, I re-read "99 Paper cranes" and realized that the story can stand on its own without any sequels. The story have ended, and no continuation is ever needed for this. They all got the ending everyone deserve, although Danson and Hannah's story is kinda hanging, but I firmly believe that this story doesn't need a sequel anymore. A revisit story, maybe (like what I'm doing with "My Two Love, My True Love") but not a whole new story for these characters. Maybe I did the sequel because I got pressured from my readers who were rooting for a sequel of this one. But this is my belief: once a story has ended, there's no use continuing it. What has ended has already ended.

And so, I have decided that I will not continue "99 Love Notes" anymore. I have also decided to drop "Always and Forever". And in that case. "99 Paper Cranes" will be the first and the last Calvin Chen story that I will make. The next ones will still be CE, and Danson, or original or whoever fancies me.

I know some of you who are reading that story will kill me. Please forgive me for this decision. It was hard on my part as well. I wanted to finish the stories, but I don't have the drive, determination and the inspiration to do so.

But, there will be some interesting stories I will start soon. So far, I'm focusing on "Me and My Gay Boss", "Say That You Love Me", and "Paper Stars". And yes, the other stories will be continues one of these days.

So, that's the end of my speech, and hope all of you will wait for my next update

WeepingAngel

I'm having problems with this blog...

2010-06-27T05:09:00.000-07:00

I'm trying to figure out how I could highlight the entries here and copy, but I am not that knowledgaeble with HTML. So, while I'm trying to figure things out, if anyone wanted a soft copy of the stories here for reading purposes only, you can shoot me an email at tamed_soul@hotmail.com

Say That You Love Me - Chapter 3

2010-06-27T04:49:00.000-07:00

Taken Away

You smiled at her.
Her eyes sparkled as you looked her way.
There was this glow on your face as she blushed.
And the more I am seeing the two of you,
The more I'm seeing the distance between us.
Tell me,
How can I have the courage to let you know how I feel
When she have already taken your heart?

--

He held her soft hand as he gazed into her eyes. He could feel Cupid's arrow finally hitting his heart, and it hit him really hard. He felt her small hand was so warm, but it managed to bring shivers to his spine. He felt as if he could hold her hand forever. He didn't want to let go.

He have fallen in love with her at first sight, and there was now denying it.

“My hand...” Tiffany said shyly. It was as if he snapped out of a dream. He let go of her hand, and blushed as she giggled at him. “What's wrong?” Ella asked. “Oh, nothing... she...” Chun said, looking at Tiffany's direction. “She have a really soft hand.” he said. Ella lowered her head, and stared at her hand. “He... he never said that my hand is soft...” she thought shyly. “I didn't know your best friend is a sweet talker, Ella.” Tiffany said. Ella looked at her, and forced a smile on her face. “Oh, yeah he is. So, don't believe a thing he is saying, all right?” she said. “Ella, don't say that. I'm not a sweet talker or a liar...” Chun protested. Tiffany giggled again. Every time she does that, it could only make Chun's heart beat faster. And every time Chun looks at her direction, it could only break Ella's heart.

It's amazing how she could survive every second with them. Chun was talking to Tiffany, ignoring her existence. Tiffany smiles his way whenever he tells a funny story, or a funny joke. All she could do was smile and nod her head. It's amazing how she could cover up the pain that's building up inside her. She laughs with them. She smiles with them. Although it seems like she is being left behind by the two as they get to know each other. Seconds turned into minutes. Minutes turned into hours. And the hours seemed like forever for her.

Just as Tiffany looked outside the window, she saw the black limousine that was her service. “My chaffeur is here. Gotta go.” Tiffany said as she stood up. She took her bag, and then smiled at Chun. “It's nice to meet you, Chun. Hope to see you soon.” she said. “Yeah, same here. Hope to see you soon, Tiffany.” he said. She waved at the two, and then rushed out of the restaurant to go home. As she leaves, Chun followed her with his eyes. He looked outside as she got inside the car. “Wow...” he said in a daze. “Wow, what?” Ella asked as she leaned on her chair. Chun looked at her, and smiled. “She... she's amazing, Ella. I don't know... she's...”
“Perfect. Pretty. Lady-like?”
“Yes. And-”
“She have this almond eyes that you wish stare at forever?”
“Yes, And -”
“She's nice, interesting and cute?”

Chun let out a smile at him. “How can you read my mind?” he asked. Ella snorted at him. “Isn't it obvious? You have a crush on Tiffany!” Ella said. Chun chuckled, and then shook his head. “Am I that obvious?” he asked. Ella shook his head. “No. You just look like a giddy school boy crushing on someone.” she said.

--

Dismissal time came.

Ella just came from the library, and as she went to the school's gate, she saw Chun standing by the gate, talking to Tiffany. She paused for a while. Her steps became slower as she gets near the two. She could see them laughing. She could see him smiling at her. She could see his face light up at her. She could see the same thing that she saw yesterday, when the two officially met. She looked away from them, hoping that somehow, it would ease the pain she is feeling right now, but as she looked up again, it was the same scene.

It wasn't long before she saw Tiffany waved goodbye to him. She left him alone, and Chun was still standing at the school gate looking like as if he is in cloud nine. She took a deep breath, and approached her best friend. “What are you doing here?” she questioned her. “I'm waiting for you.” Chun said, smiling at her. “You never waited for me. You said I'm real slow. And the time our class ends makes you don't want to wait for me here.” she pointed out. “Can I wait for my best friend, for once? Let's go home, all right?” he said. He put his arms around her, and pulled her away from the school.

Ella was silent along the way, and Chun have not noticed it. All the while, he had this smile on his face. Not a goofy smile, but a contented smile. It's like he accomplished something. “I saw.” she said, finally breaking her silence. Chun stopped, and gave her a puzzled look. “Saw what?” he asked. “I saw you talking to Tiffany.” she said. Chun smiled at her again. “Yeah... I kinda bumped into her while waiting for you...” he said shyly. “Cut the crap, Wu Ji Chun. I know you waited in front of the school gate for her, and not for me.” she said. She folded her arms as she glared at him. “Do you have to make me an excuse to get to talk to her?” she asked. Chun let out a sigh as he put his hands on his pocket. “Sorry... it's just that... you know... I... I want to make my move. Guys in my school are talking about this gorgeous newcomer from St. Margaret. I had to make my move before everyone could.” Chun explained. Ella just stared at him. “So... I made an excuse of waiting for you so that we could go home together...” he added.

Ella let out a sigh, and walked away from him. Chun followed her. “Hey... Ella... don't be mad...” he said. She paused, and then took a deep breath before facing him. She knew that she have to control what she's feeling, or Chun will find out her secret. “OK, so I'm mad. And as a good best friend that I am, I forgive you. Happy?” she said, forcing a smile at him. Chun pouted at her. “You're not sincere.” he said. Ella sighed, and let out a real smile. Chun smiled back at him. “Now I'm happy.” he said. He put his arms around her, and they began to walk. “And since you made me as an excuse to talk to Tiffany, treat me for some ice cream.” she said. “All right!” he said without any second thoughts.

--

That night, Ella was doing her assignment. She was stuck at one item on her Math assignment, so she decided to call Chun to ask for help. It took 5 rings before Chun finally answered her call. “Hello?” she heard Chun said in an annoyed tone. “Hey, Chun... need your help regarding a math assignment...” she said. “Ella, sorry, can't help you right now.” Chun said. “Why? You always help me out when I ask you to...' she said. “I'm on the other line with Tiffany.” he said.

Ella felt her face fell down upon hearing that. “Oh...” she said, her voice, faltering. “You understand, right? Gotta go now, Ella. I don't want to keep Tiff on the call wait. I'll try to help you later.” he said. Without even saying goodbye, Chun ended the call. She put the phone down, and stared at her notebook. “He used to help me with my assignments... and now...” she said to herself. She wanted to cry. She wanted to get mad at Chun for ignoring her. But then, there's nothing she could do. She is just a best friend. Chun is in love with Tiffany, that she knows, and she have no right to be jealous or to be mad at him because of what he is doing. He is only trying to get close to the girl he likes, and she knew she would do the same thing if she fell in love with another boy, but too bad, the boy she like is her best friend. And the saddest part of it, she was being put aside by her very own best friend.

Now, she's beginning to wonder what else would change between her and Chun, now that Tiffany has come between them.

--

Since she was not able to finish her math assignment last night, Ella was cramming on finishing it the next day. As she was busily solving it, Tiffany came up to her, and sat beside her. “Hey, Ella!” she greeted. Ella looked up at her, and gave her a faint smile. “Hey, Tiff...” she said. “So, what are you doing?” she asked. “I'm finishing my math assignment.” she answered. Tiffany just smiled, and nodded her head. She turned her attention to her assignment, with Tiffany just observing her. “So, I heard you and Chun were chatting on the phone last night.” Ella said. Tiffany smiled giddily, and nodded her head. “He did. He called me last night. I bumped into him yesterday while he was waiting for you, so we chatted for a while, then he asked for my number. I never expected that he would call me!” she said excitedly. Ella just nodded her head. She was trying to hide the jealousy she is feeling by smiling at her. It should have been her that Chun was talking with last night, if only her best friend did not ask for her number. “You know, he's a really funny guy. Interesting. He have a lot of stories to share!” Tiffany said. “Chun have always been... quiet... around girls...” Ella said. “He said that as well. But I don't know... I guess both of us hit it off.” Tiffany said. “Guess so...” Ella said, turning her attention to her assignment.

Tiffany continued her story about her phone conversation with Chun the night before, while Ella is trying to concentrate on finishing her assignment. She paused for a while, and then peeked at Ella's notebook. “Seems like you're having a hard time solving that problem...” she commented. Ella nodded her head. “I do. I don't know how to solve this one.” she said. “I think I know how.” Tiffany said. She moved her chair closer to her, and began to teach her how to get the answer. Once she got it, she smiled happily at Tiffany. “Thanks! Now my assignment is complete.” she said. Tiffany smiled back at her. “No problem. Actually, Chun also helped me with that problem.” Tiffany said. Upon hearing that, the smile on Ella's face began to disappear. “Chun... Chun did?” she asked. She nodded her head. “Yeah. You know, while we were chatting on the phone, I was trying to solve that problem... and I asked Chun for some help. He helped me with it. Isn't he great? He's like the smartest guy I know!” she said. Ella slowly nodded her head in agreement, and looked away from her. “Yeah... he is... smart...” she said softly. “So, why didn't you ask for his help?” Tiffany asked. “Because you were on the phone with him for hours, and he won't answer the goddamn call wait!” she thought. She looked at her again, and tried to smile. “I... I want to figure it all out by myself.” she lied. Tiffany nodded her head. “Chun told me that you always ask help from him when you can't solve your assignments... I find it weird that you didn't ask for his help.” Tiffany said. “I guess, there are times that I have to solve my own problems without anyone's help. I know that he won't always be there for me to save me, right?” Ella said.

Before Tiffany could answer, the school bell rang. Their teacher came in, and Tiffany went back to her seat. “Talk to you later, Ella.” Tiffany said. Ella just nodded her head. She looked down at her notebook once again. Chun could have helped him, but instead, he chose to help someone else. And to think that she is his best friend.

--

The classes ended once again, and as she reached the school gate, she saw Tiffany and Chun together. Chun took Tiffany's bag, and then smiled at her. She was about to approach them, when he saw them leave the school premises. She felt a tug inside her heart as the two leaves without her. She didn't know where they are going, and she have no plans of following them for she know it would only hurt more. She ran out of the gate, and from afar, she could see them slowly fading before her. Once again, she had this urge to cry. Chun never leaves without her, and this is the first time that he have done that. She lowered her head, and was about to cry, when she felt someone call her.

“Hey dork!”

She looked back, and saw Lego behind her. As usual, he had this goofy smile on his face that she hates. “What?!” she snapped at him. “Where's your best friend?” Lego asked. Ella folded her arms, and glared at him. “Do I look like Chun's baby sitter to you?” she snapped again. Lego just laughed as he walked up to him. “More of a bodyguard. You never left his side, that's why.” Lego said. Ella turned her back on him, but Lego walked up in front of her, which made her even more annoyed. “What?!” she asked in an angry tone. Lego let out a smirk at her. He took a pen from his pocket, and then took the notebook she was holding.

“Hey!” Ella shouted at him. Lego turned his back on her, and wrote something on her notebook. “Look, that is my math notebook. Give it back, will you? Don't scribble nonsense things there just to annoy me!” Ella shouted at him. Lego turned to face her, and smiled. He opened the back of her notebook, and showed it to her. Ella was surprised to see his phone number written on it, and a phrase saying. “For all your math assignment needs, call Lego Li.” Ella gave him a puzzled look. “I can also solve math problems, you know. If you can't reach your ever beloved best friend, you can call me. For a price, of course.” he said. Before Ella could react, Lego began to walk away from her. “See yah, dork!” he shouted at her. He waved his hand at her. Ella looked down on her notebook where he have written his number, and then let out a smile. “Dork.” she said to herself.

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Me & My Gay Boss - Episode 7

2010-06-25T22:22:00.000-07:00

Episode 7 – Mother Knows Best

And so, Danson found himself sitting in his office, with his mother probing on him.

“So, are you taking her seriously now, Danson?” Louise asked her son. “Mom, I don't think that whatever business I have with Ella has something to do with you.” Danson said in an annoyed tone. His mom just smirked at him. “It is my business, son. How old are you anyway? 28 turning 29? Do you think it's about time the you produce me an heir?”
“I am not ready to settle down!”
“Then, when are you ready? When you could no longer produce an heir?”

Danson just let out a sigh. He is getting annoyed with his mom badgering him about getting married. Well, if she only knew that her son does not like women that much. “What is wrong, Danson? When I arranged a marriage for you and Megan a few years back, you refused. I see you dating other girls, but I never get to meet them. And now, you got yourself involved with one of my best photographers here in Papers and Pen... and...” Louise sighed, and shook her head. “You're not taking Ella seriously, aren't you?” she said. “Ella is just a friend.” Danson insisted. “I could swear you were as giddy as a school boy when you mentioned Ella's name... when you were convincing me that you should handle Glam. I want to think that you have a crush on her...” Louise said. Danson could only give his mom dagger looks. “Mom, how many times do I have to tell you that I am just interested in her work?” he said. Louise raised an eyebrow at him. “Don't give me that look, mom. This conversation is over.” he said. “Oh, just her work? Then, why is it that when I read the newspapers, I always see news of you and Ella Chen? Like that one time at the parking lot, and that one time at a wedding?” she said. “It was nothing, mom... all right? Ella and I are just friends. End of conversation.” he said.

Danson stood up from his seat, and headed to the door. But as he reached for the knob, he heared his mom speak again. “Too bad... I told myself that the next girl that will get involved with you, I'll accept her wholeheartedly. Well, I guess you leave me with no other choice, Danson...” she said. Danson looked at his mom again. “Choice? What choice?” he asked. Louise folded her arms, and smirked at her son. “You have to be married within three months... or you will lose your chance at running this company, young man.” she said. Danson's eyes widened with surprise at what his mother said. “What?!”

--

“What do you think they are talking about?” Angela asked as she approached Ella's desk. “Do you think his mom doesn't approve about you two dating?” Hebe asked. Ella gave her friends a confused look. “Dating? Us?” she asked. Angela and Hebe nodded their heads. “You two are dating, right?” Angela said. Ella simply shrugged her shoulder, and continued on editing the pictures on her Mac Book. “I think she's scary, though! I can imagine... maybe Louise Tang will call on Ella, give her money, and ask her to leave his son alone! And because Ella loves Danson so much, she will refuse and stay by his side.” Hebe said. She clasped her hands, and sighed dreamily. “Oh, what a romantic scene...” she added. “Wei, you're watching too much idol dramas, Hebe. I don't think that would happen, all right? And besides...”

Ella let out a sigh. Then, she looked at the monitor sadly. “I am not Danson's girlfriend...” she muttered under her breath. “What did you just said?” Angela asked. Ella looked up at her. “I said... I don't think it's anyone's business if I'm Danson's girlfriend.” she said to them. Angela and Hebe gave each other a confused look. “Whatever. Just be careful of Louise Tang. Who knows, she might be as bitchy as Dao Ming Si's mother in Meteor Garden... or Liang's father in Tokyo Juliet... or...” Hebe paused, and looked at Angela and Ella, who were giving her dagger looks. “Seriously, Hebe. Stop watching too much dramas.” Angela said.

--

“She what?!”

Jiro and Ella exclaimed at Danson. Danson let out a sigh, and shook his head. It was 8 in the evening, and the three are having dinner at Danson's pad. “Should I repeat myself?” Danson asked. He had enough headache for the day, just because of his mom. “OK, babe... let me get this straight. You have to marry someone, or you will not inherit Papers and Pen?” Jiro asked. Danson nodded his head. “Why would your mom do that to you?! You're her only son!” Ella said. Danson folded his arms. He leaned back on his seat, and sighed. “I don't know why she was asking me that. Actually, it was more of because she thinks I'm getting older, and I'm still playing around... that's why.” Danson said. “So this is all because of your playboy image before?” Ella asked. Danson nodded his head. “And since the last girl being linked to me is none other than Ella, she thinks that I am still playing around. So... she said that I should get married or else...” Danson said.

Jiro looked at Ella, and then let out a smile. “So, you think Aunt Louise wants you to marry Ella?” he asked. Danson shrugged his shoulder. Then, he let out a smirk as she continued on staring at Ella, which is already giving her the creeps. “What?” Ella asked. Jiro turned to Danson. “I think it's a good idea if Ella will be the one whom you'll marry.” Jiro said. The two gave him a confused look. “What? But... why me?” Ella asked. Jiro smiled at her again. “Look, you know our little secret, right? You're the safest candidate... the one I will not get jealous of. And besides, you don't have a crush on my baby, right?” Jiro said. Ella gulped as she looked at Jiro. “I don't have a crush on your baby.” she confirmed. “Which makes you a more suitable candidate as Danson's wife.” Jiro said. Ella let out a sigh. “Why can't the two of you just admit that you are gay?” Ella asked. The two men looked at her with eyes wide open. “No!” they said in unison. “Come on... it's just Danson's mom...” she said. “I don't want to disappoint my mom...” Danson said. “And what are the chances that if his mom found out, my family will find out as well.” Jiro said.

Ella let out a sigh as she leaned on the table. “So... I'll pretend again?” she asked. Jiro nodded his head. “I don't think it's a good idea anyway, babe...” Danson said. With that, Ella let out a sighof relief. “I guess I can still talk to mom... about that. Just wait and see, all right?” he added. “And if your mom doesn't agree?” Jiro asked. Danson looked at Ella, and smiled. “Ella will marry me.” he said. Ella just shook her head as she sighed.

--

The following week at the Glam office.

Ella entered the office, and noticed that weird look that her colleagues are giving her. “Good morning, Ms. Chen!” Sam said as soon as he saw her. “Ms. Chen? And since when did you become formal, Sam Wang?” she asked. Sam just answered him with a smile. “Ms. Chen, the layouts are in your table now.” Eric said. Ella threw him a confused look. “What the heck?” she said. “Ms. Chen, would you like some coffee, or tea?” Gui Gui said, popping out of nowhere. Ella gave her a puzzled look as well. “No... thanks...” she said hesitantly.

As she reached her desk, Angela and Hebe came up to her. “Congratulations, Ella!”they shrieked in unison. Ella gave them a confused look. “What? Did I got promoted, or something?” she asked. Danson definitely didn't tell her anything about her being promoted, anyway. “It's much better than getting promoted, Ella!” Hebe said, holding her both hands. “I can't believe that you didn't tell us anything!” Angela said. Ella was puzzled about what her friends were telling her. “Tell you about what?” she asked. “That you and Danson are getting married soon!” the two said in unison. Ella's jaw dropped upon hearing what they said. “What?!”

--

Danson angrily threw the paper on his mom's table. He took a deep breath, trying to calm himself down. Louise looked at the paper, and saw the marriage announcement she have published for Ella and Danson. A smirk formed on her lips as she leaned back on her leather chair. “Well...” she said. “Mom! Who are you to interfere in my life? I am not getting married! Not yet!” he shouted angrily at her. Louise just laughed him off. She stood up from her seat, and circled around his son. “I think you should thank me, Danson. I am making things easier for you.” he said. “I am not getting married yet. I haven't even asked the girl yet!” he hissed. “And so? You will ask her in the future, right?”
“Why are you pressuring me?”
“You're not getting anymore younger, Danson. I'm just doing you a favor.”
“You're ruining my life.”

Louise found herself amused at her son's reaction. “Why would a mom ruin her child's life? I care about you, Danson. A lot. I know what's best for you, and I'm just doing this for you.” she said. “You don't even know what I want to do with my life!” he shouted. Louise paused, and faced her son. “What is it that you want to do with your life. Tell me now, dear.” she said. Danson stood in his place, looking at his mom's eyes. At that moment, he wanted to tell him what he really is, and what it is that he really wants. But he couldn't do it, for he was thinking of Jiro's sake. “I want... I want to ask Ella's hand in marriage without you interfering with us.” he lied. Louise just smirked as she folded her hands. “So, she is for real this time, huh? Are you really sure of what you feel for her? Or... you're just using her to hide your dirty little secret?” she said. He could only look at her with surprise in his face.

--

“I have no idea that this would all get out of hand. I'm really sorry, Jiro...” Ella whispered on the phone. “I'm OK, really. You don't have to worry about me. And besides, I told you before that I will be at ease if you were the one whom Danson will marry right? I just never thought it would be this soon...” he said on the phone. “I have no idea how this happened. Let me clarify things with him first. He might be doing a move without telling us.” she said. “All right, I trust you with that. Let me know what you found out.” Jiro said.

Ella ended the call. As she turned to her computer, Louise Tang went inside the Glam office. She looked around for a bit, and then, she spotted Ella on her desk. She let out a smile as she walked towards her. “Ms. Chen, just the person I'm looking for!” she said. Ella jumped up of her seat as she saw Louise coming her way. “M-madam Tang...” she said. “Are you busy? Can I invite you for a cup of coffee now?” she asked. She bit her lips. As she lowered her head, she noticed the message from Hebe on her screen. “Don't let her intimidate you! Jia You!” Hebe said on the messenger. Ella looked up, and saw Louise waiting for her answer. “I... I'm free, I guess...” she said. She let out another smile her. “Well then, let's have coffee, shall we?” Louise said. Ella nodded her head. She followed Louise outside.

They found themselves at a posh coffee shop just below the building of Papers and Pen Publication. Ella sat across Louise, and was quite the whole time. As soon as their orders arrived, Louise began to talk to her. “So, I assume you have known my son for over 8 months?” Louise said. Ella nodded her head. “And you've been dating him for how long?” she asked again. Ella doesn't know how to answer that question. She doesn't know how she will lie to her boss. “Four months... I guess....” she lied. Louise nodded her head. “How much do you love my son?” she asked again. Ella was taken aback by that question. Sure, she knew she is crushing on Danson, but love? That's out of the question. Especially since she knows he is gay. “Do you love my son more than he loves you?” Louise probed again. Ella slowly nodded her head. “So, I guess we wouldn't have a problem when the two of you get married soon. I assume you read the announcement on the papers this morning.” she said. “I didn't, honestly. I... just found out from my colleagues that there was such an announcement. You see... Danson haven't told me about that plan...” she said. Louise leaned back on her chair, and clasped her hands. “How interesting...” she said.

“Madam...” Ella began. “Honestly, I'm not sure what is going on... but getting married soon seems a little too fast for the two of us. I don't think Danson would want to be married soon. After all, he have some plans...” she said. “But I think he can do his plans even if he is married. He is not getting younger anymore. You too. And as for me, at my age, I think it's about time that I tend to the needs of my grandchildren, don't you agree?” she said. Ella just lowered her head in response. “You might be scared of the fact that my son is a playboy. He easily gets tired of each girls he dates. He changes girlfriends as fast as he could change his underwear. He never took them seriously. But you know what, Ella... I like you. I want you to be Danson's wife. And I hope that you will help me convince him to settle down.” Louise said.

Louise took something inside her bag. She took a bottle of pills, and placed him on the table. Ella stared it for a while, and then gave Louise a puzzled look. “Sleeping pills. Put some on his drink, take off all his clothes, and let nature take its course.” she said. Ella's eyes widened at what she said. “You want me to drug your son... and... sleep with him?” she asked. “If that's the only way for the two of you to get married, then yes.” Louise confirmed. “Are you insane?!” Ella exclaimed. “No, dear. I'm desperate.” Louise said. Ella let out a sigh. “Why are you desperate?”
“Why are you hesitating?”
“Is this some kind of a test?”
“I'm not testing you. I'm doing you a favor.”

Elle let out another sigh. She bravely looked up at her. “I don't know why you want me to do this, but I refuse to do what you're asking me to do. I can't force Danson to do one thing that he doesn't want.” she said. Louise let out a smirk as she looked at her. “You're refusing... or maybe you're trying to cover for him, aren't you?” she asked. Ella gave her a confused look. “I bet by now you know his secret.” Louise said. “What secret?” Ella asked. “That he could never be with a girl.” Louise said. Ella was surprised at what she revealed. “Because my son is gay.”

--

Dear Danson,

As much as I want to help you keep up this little charade of ours, I can't. Look, I love you as a friend, and as a boss. I care for you a lot. I know you don't want to be stuck in a loveless marriage just for the sake of putting up a front, right? I know, because I do.

Just do this little favor to yourself – tell your mom the truth about you. Your mom is a very smart woman, I know that. And I know that her instincts have been telling her that something is wrong with his son, why you didn't want to settle down and all that crap. I can't cover for you forever, OK? So I suggest that you have a little one-on-one talk with Tang mama, and explain the situation. I'm sure she would understand it.

Love lots,
Your supposed to be fiancee

P.S.
OK, so I spilled the beans. What can I do? She cornered me!

Danson folded the paper, and looked outside the office window. Ella is right. She can't cover for him forever. There are things that he have to let her mom know, and one of them is his sexual preference. He looked at Ella's letter once again, and took a deep breath. “It's about time I came out of the closet...” he thought. He took the letter, and marched outside his office, and onto his mom's office.

“Mom, we need to talk.” He said as he went inside. He locked the door behind him, as he approached her. Louise swiveled her chair to face him. “Yes?” she asked. “I have to tell you something.” he said. Louise leaned back on her chair, and let out a smirk. “What is it?” she asked. “I can't marry Ella. I just can't. And I can't marry any girl for that matter...” he began. He closed his eyes, and took a deep breath. As he opened his eyes, he stared onto his mother's eyes. “You know, since I was young, I... I was confused about things. I... I don't know what it is inside me that I'm feeling... it was scaring the hell of me. I was scared because people will judge me. I'm scared because I might disappoint you. But as days passes by, I... I have confirmed that I've become what I'm scared of. It... it was killing me inside, mom. I have to keep it a secret because... because I was too scared to hurt you, and disappoint you. I'm your only son, and I know you have high expectations from me. I did my best in everything, I really did. I did all the things you wanted without any hesitations, because I am so damned scared to let you down...”

He bit his lips as he felt the tear about to roll down from his eyes. He just couldn't help but breakdown in front of his mother. “Mom, I'm gay. I'm sorry... I... I'm sorry that I can't be the son you really wanted. I'm sorry that you gained two daughters instead of just one. I'm so sorry...” he finally said. Louise stood up from her chair, and walked up to him. Then, she smiled at him, and hugged him tight, much to his surprise. “I love you, son.” she said to him. Upon hearing that, Danson let out a smile. “I love you, no matter what you've become. You are my son, and I can accept you for whatever you are. There's nothing wrong with being, gay, Danson. It's much better than you ruining your own life for nothing.” she said. Then, she pulled away from him. She smiled at him, and caressed his cheek. “I knew from the start that you're gay, Danson... and it's breaking my heart to see you putting up that front by dating a lot of girls, when I know you could have come out of the closet and admit it to me...” she said. Danson gave her a puzzled look. “You knew? But you said you won't give me the company till I marry someone, Ella in particular?” he said. “I only did that to make you admit that you're gay. And besides, I was scared that you are toying with Ella's feelings. She is my favorite photographer, you know, and if she resigns because you broke her heart, I won't forgive you for that.” she said. He let out a faint chuckle at his mom. “Ella knew I'm gay.” he said. Louise nodded her head. “I know. I forced her to tell me the truth. And I'm glad you told me the truth.” she said. Danson smiled at him, and then hugged his mom again. “I love you, mom.” he said. “I love you too, son.” she answered.

--

“So, how does it feel like coming out of the closet?” Ella asked Danson as they were strolling at the park that afternoon. Danson put his hands on his pocket, took a deep breath, then smiled at her. “Feels great. At least I came out to my mom. I wouldn't have to hide anything from her. And I don't have to pretend to my mom that I'm something that I'm not.” he said. Ella nodded her head. “Good.” she said. “But you know, I can't come out fully because of Jiro. If people found out about us... especially his dad, he will surely kill him.” Danson said. Ella just laughed at him. “I know, right?” she answered.

As they sat at the bench, Ella looked at Danosn, and noticed that there was some kind of sadness in his face as he sighed. “What's wrong?” she asked. Danson looked at him, and gave him a faint smile. “You know what... I talked to Jiro about telling my mom about me being gay. And he didn't quite take it to heart...” he said sadly. “So, you two had a fight?” Ella asked. Danson nodded his head. “He's mad at me.” he said. Ella put her arms around his neck, and smiled at him. “Don't worry, I know if we explain further to him, he will understand.” she said. Danson just sighed, and looked away from her. “I really hope so...” he said.

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Paper Stars - Chapter Thirteen

2010-06-16T11:02:00.000-07:00

Chapter 13 – First Love

First Love Never Dies,
But True Love Buries It Alive...

--

Paolo led Nadine inside the house. He helped her to sit down, and as she settled down, he began to search high and low for the first aid kit, and as soon as he found it, he sat next to her. Gently, he held her hand. He saw the swelling on it, and as he touched it, Nadine flinched in pain. “I think you sprained it.” he said. He took out the bandage, and gently rolled it onto her wrist. Nadine looks at Paolo as he put the bandage in his hand.

There was something in Paolo a while ago that made her confused. There was anger in his eyes as he looked at Vanz. There was a strong sense of possession, of jealousy in him as he held her hand, and as he pulled Vanz's hand away from her. And there was this caring look in his eyes as he see the bruised and swollen wrist of her. At that moment, she saw Paolo as a man, and not as the child-like guy that he was. It was this new side of Paolo is something that she never saw.

“Thank you...” she said, her voice is trembling. Since Paolo came into their lives, she took care of him. She knew him from head to foot, as far as he knows. But his reaction a while ago is something that she did not expect. “Who is he?” he finally asked. Nadine looked away from him. There was this sadness in his eyes, and she could not let him see that. “Vanz...” she said softly. “Who is he in your life?” he asked, with a more authoritative voice. This Paolo beside her is scaring the hell out of her. “I... I don't want to talk about it. Not right now. I... I'm not ready...” she said. Paolo just looked at her for a long time as he let the silence come between them. “Don't you trust me?” he asked in a hurt tone. “I... I protected you from him. And in the future, I want to continue protecting you from him, or from anyone that will hurt you. It's only fair for me to know who are those people are in your life, and why they are hurting you. Can't you give me that privilege to know?” he asked. The hint of pain in his tone made Nadine look back at him.

The cheerfulness in his eyes was replaced by hurt. His face was stern as he waited and demanded for her answer. She could only look at him, not saying a word. She doesn't know where to start telling him about Vanz, because if he knew who he is in her life, she will only end up hurting him more. “A friend.” she lied. Paolo gave him a confused look. “A friend? Then... then why?”
“He is just a friend.”
“If he is a friend, why are you running away from him? If he is a friend, why does he have to look like that at you.”

Nadine paused at what he said. “Look at me like what?” she asked. “He looked at you with hope... with love... but you pushed him away. And I can't understand why.” he said. “If he is a friend... a friend that you haven't seen for a long time... you wouldn't act that way... unless he hurt you before.” he added. Nadine took a deep breath, and stood up from her seat. She looked at him with a mad expression on her face. She just wanted to end this conversation with him. “You saved me, yes, but that doesn't give you the right to intrude into my life, especially my past. If there is something that I want to keep from you, then I will continue to keep it. Before you came, you didn't know what I've been through. And you don't have the right to question me, or judge me just because I don't want to tell you everything that happened in my life. You weren't there. You wouldn't just understand.” she said to her.

Paolo looked up at him. He felt his heart flinched in every word she said. “So... what am I? I am nothing to you? I am not part of this family? You were the one who keeps on telling me that I am a part of this family! I only wanted to know who he is... but then you're acting like this! How can I protect you from him if I don't know why I'm protecting you in the first place?” he shouted at her. Nadine was shocked at his reaction. She never thought that Paolo would be this exasperated at her for keeping the past from him. “Maybe you think I'm useless, that I can do nothing, that I can't care for you the way you do for me. Nadine, I am a grown up man. I may be child-like, but I have a mind of my own. And you know what, it hurts me to know that you... you think of me that way.” he said.

Paolo turned his back on her, and left her alone. Nadine could only watch as he leaves her. It was wrong of her not to say anything. It was wrong of her to lie. But then, her mind just couldn't think right, now that Vanz have suddenly appeared in her life.

--

Vanz stood at the reception area with his head down. As soon as Paolo and Nadine left, Marina came over to see him. “It's been a long time...” she said softly. Vanz looked at the elder woman, and saw her smiling at him. “And you can't blame Nadine for not wanting to see you...” she continues. “Tita... I... I had a lot of things to explain to her.” he said. “I know. But now is not the right time...”

Vanz lowered his head again, and let out a sigh. “You've hurt her. You've broken her heart. I guess all the hurt came back when she saw you. You just have to give my daughter some more time.” Marina said. “But... does she still love me?” he asked. “Only Nadine can answer that question. Now, let me ask your question back. Do you still love my daughter? Is that the reason why you came back?” she asked. Vanz slowly nodded his head. “It has always been her...” he said. “Then, why? Why did you have to break her heart before? You knew her condition...” Marina said. “That's why I'm here. That's why I came back. I want to explain everything to her. I want to make things right. I had my reasons why I suddenly disappeared... and now that everything is settled in my life... I just had to come back to make her understand...” Vanz said.

Marina let out a smile at him. “Maybe some other time.” she said. Vanz just nodded his head. “I... I guess I'll come back when she's ready to talk to me.” he said. She watched as the devastated man before her turned to leave the resort. She doesn't know why her daughter acted that way. She knew Nadine still loves Vanz, and have been waiting for his return, but then she pushed him away. She wanted to think that she's not just ready to see him. Or maybe, she's afraid that the feelings slowly building up inside her will slowly vanish upon Vanz's return.

--

“Pao Pao, are you still awake?” Angelo asked as he turned to to face Paolo's back. Paolo just remained silent. “So, you're asleep...” Angelo said as he rolled onto his back. A smirk came out of his mouth as he glanced at Paolo's sleeping figure again. Beneath the darkness, Paolo's eyes are still open. He couldn't sleep because of the things he said to Nadine a while ago. He felt guilty for being mad at her. But then, he couldn't help but be angry at her for keeping something from him.

“Fine... just sleep. I was about to tell you something about that guy who came this afternoon...” Angelo said. Paolo remained unmoved in his place. “You know... Vanz...” he added. With that, Paolo turned to face Angelo. “OK, what is it?” Paolo asked. Angelo just let out a loud laugh, which made him annoyed. “You know what, this is not a good time to joke.” he snapped at Angelo. Then, he turned his back again. He heard Angelo laughed again, and this time, he covered his ear with a pillow. “I thought you want to know something about him?” Angelo asked. “I'd rather ask Nadine.”
“Ate will not tell you anything.”
“I will force her to...”
“I don't think so. She will not tell you until she dies, I guess... so, you're last chance is with me.”

Paolo let out a sigh, then turned to face Angelo again. “So, who is this, Vanz?” he asked. “What did my sister tell you?” Angelo asked. “That he is a friend...” Paolo said. “But I don't think so.” he added. “Oh, he is a friend, all right... a special friend...” Angelo said. Paolo fell silent at what Angelo said. “I am not in the position to tell you everything. I was still young back then, and couldn't remember anything. All I know is that...” Angelo paused, and shook his head. “I think it's better that ate tell you everything. I know she will open up to you. You just have to be patient with her, all right? Please don't be mad at my sister anymore...” Angelo said. “I can't promise you that...” Paolo said. “Don't be childish, Pao Pao... you see... at this very moment, the person that my sister needs is you. You have to promise me that no matter what happens, you'll stay by her side.” Angelo said. Paolo wrinkled his brow in confusion. “I don't understand...” he said. Angelo could only answer him with a smile before turning to his other side to sleep. “Good night, Pao Pao, Siopao!” he said.

--

Nadine stared at the box before her. As she opened the box, a tear fell from her eyes. The very first thing she saw was the picture of him and Vanz that summer that they have been together. She could clearly remember his promise that he will return for her, that he will come back, but he just kept her waiting. He never came back, and when they bumped into each other again, he is with another girl.

She doesn't know why he came back. Just when she is ready to let him go, he came back to look for her. She knew someone have already taken his place, and with him appearing in her life once again, she admits that it makes her hear confused, and the situation much complicated. She remembered the hurt in Paolo's face when he saw Vanz holding her. She saw the anger in his eyes when she refused to tell him about Vanz. And that sudden change in him scares her. She was scared that because of what's happening, she might lose Paolo eventually. And she is not ready to lose him, not now, not at this moment when she have learned to live her life with him.

--

Paolo sat on the sandy shore as he watched the sunset the next afternoon. That whole day, he have been trying his best to avoid Nadine, and it seems that she is avoiding him as well. His heart is breaking because of what is happening between them. They used to be real close, but because of this guy that suddenly showed up in their lives, seems like there would be a lot of changes between them, and he is scared of that change.

He also felt threatened with Vanz showing up. Angelo said that he is a friend of his sister, a special friend, and he is scared that because of this role in her life. He was scared that Vanz will take away his angel from him. He clenched his fist at that thought. “Bu hui ba! I will not let her take Xia Tian from me...” he thought. He lowered his head, and let out a sigh. What can he do to fight for her and for his love, when he knew that he is nothing for her? She doesn't feel the same way that he does...

“Pao Pao...”

Paolo looked back, and saw Nadine behind her. He looked away from her. Then, he felt her walk towards her, and before he knew it, she was sitting beside him. “I'm sorry...” she said in a sad voice. Paolo looked up at her worriedly. “I know, it's wrong for me to keep things from you... but you have to understand... it's not easy to talk about the past, especially if it's a painful one... you would understand if you were in my position.” she said. Paolo snorted at her. “As if I have a past...” he said. He made circles on the sand with his fingers as he lowered his head. “But if you do... you know how it would feel like. You know, Paolo, sometimes, I wish I was you. I wish I couldn't remember anything as well. I wish all my memories where all washed up... so that it won't hurt me anymore...”

He saw her staring at the sea. He could see the sadness in her eyes as she speaks. He could see the tears forming in her eyes. Now, he is sure of one thing – that the man named Vanz have hurt her before. “Who is he?” he asked. “I want to know, Nadine. I want to know what happened in your past. I want to know how he hurt you. I want to help you, and ease the pain that you are feeling right now...” he continued. She looked at him, and let out a faint smile. “Vanz. He... he is my first love...” she said.

There was a sting in his heart at that confirmation. “He is the only man I loved... but he... he left me. He left me alone... he promised to come back for me... but he... he never did...” she began. He just sat there silently, listening to her as she tells her story. “I was fifteen when I met him. It was summer. He was this young boy whom I saved from this very sea. Since then, we became friends. We became close. We fell in love. As the summer ends, our relationship bloomed, or so I thought. He... he was this city boy that just came here in Ilocos for a vacation, and since school is about to start, he have to go back to Manila. We... we had a long distance relationship. For the first few months, everything is going well. We write letters almost everyday. There was this weekly phone calls. Then, suddenly, his letters started to be few. The phone calls became shorter. Then, there was none... I haven't heard anything from him. He just disappeared in my life just like that... then one day, I saw him. I thought we could go back to how we were before but then I found out that he... he fell out of love with me... he... had another girl that he loves... and he loves her more than he loves me. I love him, and the only thing I can do is give him up for her...”

Paolo clenched his fist again after hearing her story. For him, Vanz is a fool for not choosing Nadine. He let go of a chance to be loved by a wonderful girl like her. If he was Vanz, he will surely come back for her and fulfill her promise, no matter what. “Do... do you still love him?” he asked. Nadine just stared at him. “I... I don't know...” she said softly. “I thought that when he comes back for me, I will be the happiest girl in the world. But... I... got confused. Maybe it's because he hurt me before... and maybe it's because...”

She paused and gazed into his eyes. “Because of you...” she thought. She bit her lips, and as she closed her eyes, the tears began to fall from her eyes. With that, Paolo pulled her into a hug. His warmth suddenly made the pain she is feeling go away. The comfort of his arms wrapping around her suddenly made her tears to stop falling. “I won't let him hurt you again.” he said in a firm tone. “I won't let him break your heart. I won't let him... I... I'll protect you from him...” he said. As he hugged her, he could almost feel the tears about to fall from his eyes. He could feel that she still loves Vanz. He wanted to fight for what he feels for her, but he knew he lost his chance. He will never be the man that Nadine will love, for she made it clear that Vanz is the only man she loves, and maybe, the only man she will ever love for the rest of her life.

They sat there, embracing each other. She, wanting to be sure of what she really feels towards Paolo. While he, hugging her to make her feel the love he had for her, for this might be his very last chance. “Wo ai ni...” he said silently. “But if you will choose him, I... I will gladly step back... I will...”

--

Paolo was busy wiping the floor when Vanz came in. “Hi...” Vanz greeted. Paolo looked up at him, and saw him smiling at him. “Is Nadine around?” Vanz asked. Paolo glared at him for a long time. “Bu shi.” he finally said in a firm tone. Vanz could only give him a confused look. “What?” he asked. “Bu shi.” he said again. Vanz could only scratch his head in confusion. “I don't understand you, man...” he said.

Before Paolo could speak again, Nadine came out. “Paolo...” she called. The two men looked back at her. Paolo saw her eyes shifted to Vanz. He saw her staring at him for a long time. Paolo could only lower his head in defeat. His effort in trying to hide Nadine from him have not paid off. She walked towards her first love, her eyes never leaving him. “Vanz...” she said in a soft voice. Paolo looked back at Vanz, and saw him smiling. “Nadine.” he called. “What... what are you doing here?” Paolo heard Nadine asked. “I'm here for the very same reason I came here a few days back.” Vanz said. “We need to talk, Nadine. I know I have a lot of explaining to do...” he added.

Paolo looked at Nadine. He was wishing that she wouldn't agree to what he wants. She closed her eyes for what seems to be forever, and as she opened it, he saw her nod her head. “I guess it's about time that we talk.” she said.

The two left, and Paolo could only watch them in defeat.

--

“This place haven't changed a bit...” Vanz said as they walked towards the shore. Vanz took a deep breath, and as he opened his eyes, he smiled at the familiar surrounding before him. “This place is exactly as I remembered years back... when I first came here...” he said. Then, he looked at Nadine, who was staring at him. “A lot of things have already changed, Vanz.” she said. “Including you?” he asked. With that, Nadine looked away from him. “People change. Feelings change. Change is the only constant thing in this world. You can't expect that things will be the way that they used to after you left them for a long time.” she said. She folded her arms, and sighed. “Why did you come back?” she asked him, still looking away from him. “To fulfill my promise to you... I promised I'll return for you, remember?” he said. “That was... more than ten years ago, Vanz.”
“I know. And I know, it's too late... but I am here...”
“You don't need to keep your promise. You have broken it...”
“Then let me mend it.”

Nadine looked up at him again. She saw him gazing into her eyes. “I love you. I have always loved you... but...” he faltered. He lowered his head, breaking his gaze from hers. “You loved another, remember?” she said. “I was confused that time, Nadine. I... A lot of things have happened to me during the times that we were apart.” he explained. “There are a lot of things that happened to me as well, but it didn't kept me from betraying your trust... and for my love to fade away...” she answered. “I know I am supposed to go back the next summer but...” he said. “You don't need to explain. I perfectly know why you never came back.” she snapped at him. She was about to turn away from him, but he held her hand to stop her.

He let out a sigh. He held her by her shoulders, and looked straight into her eyes. “Give me a chance to explain myself to you... to make you understand. Nadine, all I want is another chance for us... hear me out. If... if after you hear my side, you still decided that you don't want me back into your, then I won't bother you anymore. Just hear me out...” he said. Nadine took a deep breath, and nodded her head. “I love you still.” he began. “You are the only girl I loved like this. Many came into my life, but none of them were you. I could have came back... I had the will to... but... but my family needed me... I... I had to stay... for their support...” he said. Nadine shook her head in confusion. “I... I don't understand...” she said. “After that summer... there was a big blow in our family.” Vanz said. “We... we found out that my mom had cancer. And she... she died...”

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Me & My Gay Boss - Episode 6

2010-06-13T07:26:00.000-07:00

Episode 6 – The Fall Guy/Gay

Danson opened the door and saw Ella standing by his door. “Ella?” he called. He saw her bit her lips as she looked up at him. Her eyes where already flooded with tears, and he could tell that she was trying her best to control those tears.“Danson...” she said sadly. Then, she hugged him tight, and began to cry.

Danson was surprised when Ella hugged him, and cried on his chest. There was nothing he could do but let her cry. He took a deep breath and brushed her hair as she cried. “Sssshhh... hush now...” he whispered to her. He could feel Ella's heartbreak as she sobs. And he wished he could do something to ease the pain she is feeling.

--

Danson walked to the couch, and placed a cup of milk in front of Ella. “Thanks...” she said in a faint voice. She grabbed the cup with her both hands, and inhaled it's steam. The whole hour, she have been crying on Danson's shoulder without saying any word. By now, he might be wondering why she was crying. No. He must have guessed the reason why she cried.

“What happened?” he finally asked. Ella looked at Danson, and he could clearly see the tears flooding her eyes again. She wanted to open her mouth to speak, but she felt that if she starts speaking, she would breakdown again. “Let me guess, Wallace?” he asked. She nodded her head. “Let me guess again... it wasn't you that he likes?” he asked again. She paused, and then she began to cry again as she nodded her head. “He... he... he's... getting... married... to... to his... ex-girlfried!” she said in between sobs. He pulled her close to her, and then hugged her tight. “I told you... don't expect too much from him. See what happens? You hurt yourself more... you shouldn't assume that he likes you in the same way that you like him, because people's feelings are different in each and every way. You may like Wallace so much, but I can see that he only likes you as a friend...” he said. Ella looked up at him with tears on his eyes. He smiled at her, and wiped the tear falling from her eyes. “Don't worry, Ella... even if the two of you didn't end up together, I know that one day, someone will come into your life. When he comes, he'll make you realize why you didn't end up with him. And that someone will give you the love that you truly deserve.” he said. “You... you think so?” she asked. Danson nodded his head. “You're a great girl, Ella. You could make any guy fall for you... but Wallace is an exemption.” he said. “Why does the guy I like is always an exemption?” she asked him. “Because...” he said, smiling at him. “You two are just not meant to be.”

--

Three months later.

Ella laid her head on the table as she stared at the ivory parchment envelope on her table. “To Ms. Ella Chen and friend.” it says. She let out a sigh as she continued to stare at it. The envelope on her table contains the invitation for Wallace's wedding next week. Wallace, who had been busy since that night he told her that he is getting married, took a time off from his busy schedule to personally deliver the invitation in her office. She could swear she wanted to cry as he handed her that invitation, but being a good actress that she is, she managed to accept it with a fake smile.

“Ella... about the photos for the next issue...” Danson said as he walked towards her desk. He had a folder in his hand, and was reading it as he walked. “I want you to -” As he looked at her, he paused. He noticed the gloomy expression on her face. “What's wrong?” he asked. Ella just shook her head. “Nothing.” she said. Danson wrinkled his brows as he folded his arms. “Nothing means something. Speak up.” he said. Ella just answered him with a sigh. He looked at her desk, and noticed the wedding invitation. He took it, looked at it, and then looked back at Ella. “I think I know now why you're like that. Come into my office.” he said. Ella sat up with a shocked look on his face. “But boss -”
“Just come with me at the office. We need to talk.”

As Danson turned his back on her to go back inside his office, Ella let out a groan. She lazily stood up from her chair, and followed him in his office. “What?” she asked in an annoyed tone as she closed the door behind her. She saw Danson reading the invitation. “So, the wedding is next week, huh?” he said as he turned to her. Ella nodded her head. “And it also says here that he reserved a seat for you and your date. Have you found someone to be your date?”
“I'm planning to go alone.”
“And what, make yourself a fool by looking miserable?”
“I'm good in acting.”
“You maybe, but you see.. with the way you look... you won't be able to convince him that you're happy for him.”

Ella gave him a confused look. “What do you mean?” she asked. “Have you seen yourself in the mirror?” he asked. Ella looked at herself, but he's still confused at what he is speaking. “Your eyes are red. You have black circles around your eyes, as if you haven't slept well for the past few days. You don't wear any make up. You don't fix yourself. It's as if you are out to tell the world that you are miserable because he is getting married.” he pointed out. Ella bit her lips as she lowered her head. “Thanks for bringing that to my attention...” she said in a low voice. Danson folded his arms, and let out a sigh. “Ella, you are not only my subordinate, you are also my friend. And as your friend, I have the right to care for you. I care for you. A lot. I can't let you go alone on his wedding...” he said. Ella looked up at him and gave him another confused look. “What do you mean?” she asked. “How about bringing me along as your date?” he said.

Ella's eyes widened with surprise. “No! No way!” she said. “Why?” he asked. “I decided that I don't want to go...” she said. “And what? You'll just mope in your house because the man you love is already married?” he asked. “I can do something worthwhile...” she said. She walked up to him, and snatched the invitation on his hand. “As much as I want to go to the wedding, there are other things I would rather do. I'll tell him I won't be going...” she said. Danson just shook his head as he watched her leave his office.

--

Wedding day.

“Ella, I'm going to work now.” Ariel said as she went down the stairs. She saw her best friend lying on the couch with a bowl of ice cream on her hand while watching some cartoons on TV. “Are you sure you're not going to senior's wedding?” she asked. Ella let out a laugh and shook her head. “I'm good here! Watching Spongebob Squarepants on DVD is much more fun than attending his wedding.” she said. Ariel folded her arms, and looked sternly at her. “What?” Ella asked. “Ella, you are hiding any grudge at senior, right?” she asked. Ella gave her a confused look. “Why would I?”
“Because you have a crush on him for a long time.”
“And so?”
“Because you two became much closer when he came back from Singapore. You thought you will have a chance with him, but it turns out that he only came back to ask Penny jie to marry him.”

Ella just laughed off what she said. “Oh, please... just because of that?” she said. Ariel folded her arms, and let out a smirk. “How about proving to us that you are not bitter because he didn't choose you?” she said. “Who says I'm bitter?” she said in a defensive tone. “Me, Mikey and Georgy. We all know you've been carrying a torch for senior since university days. And besides, your crying every night gives way to your feelings.” she said in a matter-of-fact tone. Ella let out another groan. “Go, and mind your own business. If I don't want to go to the wedding, nothing can make me go.” she said. Ariel could only shake her head as she turned to leave her all alone.

--

Her Spongebob Squarepants marathon was interrupted by a loud, impatient knock on the door. As much as she doesn't want to stand up from her spot on the couch, she grudgingly did. “Coming!” she shouted as she walked towards the door. As she opened it, she was surprised to see her boss, handsomely dressed in his tuxedo. “B-boss?” she exclaimed. Danson just let out a smirk. He looked back, and saw him, signalled someone to come in. Just then, the make-up artist and stylist from Glam (Jolin and Fan Fan) came in immediately. “What are you guys doing here? It's my rest day, you know? No photoshoot scheduled for today.” she protested. “Oh, we're not here for the photoshoot, Ella...” Danson said as she walked inside the house. He sat on her couch and made himself comfortable. “We're here to make you over.” he added.

Ella's eyes widened with surprise at what he said. “You what?!” she shouted. “Girls, you know what to do. Fix her.” Danson ordered. Jolin and Fan Fan nodded their heads, then they turned to Ella and held her both hands. “Fix me? What? Are you out of your mind?!” she shouted at Danson. She looked helplessly at her colleagues. “Sorry, Ella...” Jolin said. “Boss's order.” Fan Fan said. As the two dragged her to her room, Ella shouted. “Stop it!” she shouted. Then, she glared at Danson, who was smiling evilly at her. “I'll get you for this, Danson!” she shouted. “Oh, no need to thank me. You're welcome, Ella.” he said.

As the door closed behind her, Fan Fan pushed Ella on her bed. “OK, I'll do the hair and make up. Jolin, prepare the gown.” she sad. Ella gave her a confused look. “Gown?” she asked. Just then, Jolin opened her big bag, and showed them a yellow, off shoulder gown. “This one?” she asked. Fan Fan looked at it, and shook her head. “No. Do you have any other gowns... or dress?” she asked again. Jolin nodded her head, and showed them a baby blue haltered dress. Upon seeing that, Fan Fan's face lightened up. “Just perfect! Now, let's dress her up.” she said. “Wait, what is going on?” Ella asked. “You and boss have a date today, right?” Jolin said. Ella was surprised at what she said. “We do?” she asked. The two nodded their heads. “OK, enough of the talking, we have lots of thing to do. Now, go and dress up.” Fan Fan said, handing her the blue dress.

--

It's been over an hour since Fan Fan and Jolin dragged Ella up to her room, and Danson has been walking back and forth in her living room. He sighed as he looked at the Cartier watch on his wrist. His thoughts were interrupted when she heard someone coming down the stairs. He looked up, and saw Jolin walking down the stairs. “She's ready.” she said, smiling at him. As he turned his eyes on the stairs, he saw Ella in her baby blue haltered dress, walking down the stairs. They pulled back her short hair, and put a light make up on her face.

When he saw how pretty she is today, he couldn't take his eyes off of her. It was as if she casted a spell on her. “So, what can you say about our creation, boss?” Fan Fan asked. He turned to her, and smiled. “Perfect. Just... perfect...” he said as he smiled at Ella. Ella just let out an annoyed sigh. “Where are we going anyway?” she asked. “You'll find out soon.” he said. He let out a smile at her, and then he gave his hand to her. “Shall we go, princess?” he asked. Ella let out another sigh, and took his hand. “Fine...” she said. “Wherever it is, let's go.”

--

They entered the grand ball room of a known hotel in Taipei. There were a lot of people around, which made Ella wonder where they are. “What kind of a party is this?” Ella asked Danson. He looked at her and smiled, and held onto her arms tightly. “You'll find out soon.” he said. “You've been telling that to me along the way. Can you tell me where we are?” she hissed at him. “I will tell you, but you have to promise me that no matter what happens, you won't walk away or even kill me, all right?” he said. Ella nodded her head.

Before Danson could explain anything to Ella, they heard someone calling her name. “Ella!” she looked back, and saw Wallace walking up to him. With him is her lovely bride. “Wallace?” she asked. Her senior walked up to her, and gave her a hug. “I'm glad that you were able to come to my wedding.” he said. Ella gave Danson a confused look. “Sorry that we missed the ceremony. Ella and I had some problems at work, so we had to attend to it first.” Danson said. Wallace just smiled at him, and nodded his head. “I understand, don't worry. What's important is that the two of you are here.” he said.

Ella is getting even more confused with what's happening. “So, I assume the two of you are OK now. When Ella told me that she won't be able to make it, I was sad of course. But when you explained that it's only because you two had a fight over some nonsense things, I finally understood.” Wallace said. Then, he looked at her, and smiled. “Of course, it would be depressing for Ella to be in a wedding, when she wanted to call it quits between the two of you. But good thing the two of you made up.” Wallace said. She just stared at Wallace in confusion. She doesn't know what Danson said to her senior to make him say those things. “Of course, I have to woo my girlfriend...” Danson said. He pulled Ella close to him for an embrace. Ella looked up at Danson with confusion. “G-girlfriend?” she asked. Danson winked at her, and smiled. “Anyway, enjoy the party. My wife and I will have to attend to some more guests.” Wallace said. Danson smiled, and nodded his head. Ella could only watch as the newly-wed couple mingle with the other guests.

“Why didn't you tell me that we are going in his wedding?” Ella hissed angrily at him. “That's the exact reaction I'm expecting to get from you if I told you earlier that we are going to Wallace's wedding.”
“What did you tell him? I already told him that I can't go.”
“That we had a fight that day. That you were planning to breakup with me, and then decided not to go to the wedding because you're depressed. He somehow believed it.”
“You told him I'm your girlfriend?”
“Aren't you? You agreed to pretend to be my girlfriend for me and Jiro's sake, right?”
Ella folded her arms, and glared at her. “Should I hate you?” she asked. “Can you stop pouting? Don't ruin the mood. And Wallace might think we're fighting again.” he said. “You're gonna be a dead meat, Danson Tang.” she said. She stomped away from Danson, and sat on an empty table. Danson just smiled, and shook his head.

--

As she sat alone on the table, her eyes gazed at the lovely, newly-wed couple dancing at the center stage. She admits, the two looked good together. Penny and Wallace have always been the golden couple during college days, and they were the envy of the many. And now, she is envying them. After a long time, the two had their own happy ending. And Penny gets to keep the man she have always dreamed of. “Care to dance?” she heard Danson asked. “Why me?” she asked. “Because you're my date.” he said. She let out a sigh, and then stood up from her seat. “All right. Let's dance.” she said.

Everyone was dancing around, and the two found a spot just right near Wallace and Penny. As Ella put her arms around her neck and slow danced with him, her eyes were on Penny and Wallace. She could see the happy smile in Wallace's lips as he gazed down on his wife. He could see the love in his eyes as he leaned down to her to kiss her. She could feel her heartbreaking knowing that she could never be in Penny's place, that he cold never love her the way she loves him.

“Don't cry...” he heard Danson say. She looked up at him, and noticed the worried look in his face. “Don't put up that sad face. Be happy that he finally found that happiness, even if that happiness did not came from you.” he said. “How can I be happy when my heart is breaking?” she asked. “You told me you're good at pretending, right? Pretend that you are happy, and enjoying this party. Pretend that you're happy for him. Pretend that you are not in love with him.” he said. “And what if I can't?” she asked. He paused for a while. He gazed into her eyes, and then, smiled at her. “If the pain in your heart is so great that you can no longer pretend... just lean on me and cry...” he said.

He made a swift move across the floor, so that Ella's back would be facing Wallace. He held onto her tight. Ella held his shoulder, and leaned on his shoulder. As she closed her eyes, tears fell down from her cheeks. He could hear her muffled cries as they danced. He leaned to her head, and kissed her hair, hoping that it would ease the pain. “Just let it out... don't worry, I'm here for you... I'll protect you...” he whispered to her. She wiped the tear from her eyes, and then looked up at him and smiled. “Thank you for being here for me...” she said. “I can't leave you all alone, can I?” he said. She just let out a faint smile. He paused for a while, and wiped the tear on her eyes. “Don't worry. From now on, I won't cry over some stupid guys.” she said. “That's my girl.” he said.

They danced to a few more songs, not saying a word to each other. Just then, Danson felt someone tapping his back. The two them looked back, and saw Wallace behind Danson. “Mind if I dance with Ella for a while?” he asked. Danson looked at Ella. She smiled at him, and nodded her head. “Well then, I'll leave you and my girl for a while.” he said. He took Ella's hand, and handed it to Wallace. Wallace walked to her, and put her hand on his shoulder, while holding the other hand. As they began to slow dance, Ella saw Danson walk back to their table, winking at her.

“So, I never knew that you've been dating your boss. Maybe that's the reason why he looked jealous the first time we met.” Wallace began. Ella looked up at him. She opened her mouth to speak, but she doesn't know what to tell him. “He looks like a great guy, in my humble opinion. He even asked me how to appease your anger.” he said. Then, he let out a laugh. Ella could only smile at his senior. As they made a move, she looked back at Danson, who was sitting alone on their table. “He is a great guy...” she said. “Too bad he is gay...” she added in her thoughts. “Ella...” Wallace called. Ella looked up at him. “Thank you for being here on my special day.” he said. “I... I wouldn't miss it for the world...” she said shyly. “You almost did... because you had a fight with Danson. Which, I don't think is the reason. Is that the lamest reason your boss could think of?” he said. Ella looked at him with a surprised expression on his face. “What?” she asked. “You're not mad at me, right?”
“Why should I be mad at you?”
“I don't know... maybe because since Penny agreed to marry me, I've been spending less time with you.”

Ella lowered her head. “Ella, I don't want you to think that something changed between us. Everything about us... will be the same. I will always love you as my friend, and as a sister. Always remember that. You will always be my junior, and I will always be your senior.” he said. Those words seems to be piercing her heart, but she just have to accept the fact that that's the way Wallace sees her – a sister, a friend, and a junior. He is happy now, that she knows, and she doesn't want to spoil that happiness. “I'm happy for you...” she finally said with a smile. “From before, I knew how much you loved Penny. And when the two of you broke up, I saw how hurt you were. I'm happy to see that you're finally happy.” Wallace smiled at him. “And I could see that you are happy with him as well.” he said. He glanced at Danson's direction, and saw him walking towards them. “And he makes you smile. I can see how much he loves you. Don't ever let go of him, Ella...” Wallace said.

As Ella looked at Danson, there was something in him that seemed to change. He had this certain glow that made him stand out in the crowd. It was as if everything went slow mo with each step he makes. Somehow, she is seeing Danson in a different light. She looked up at Wallace, and smiled at him. “I won't.” she said. Wallace smiled back at her, and then gave her a hug. “Can I dance with my girl now?” Danson asked. Wallace smiled at him, and nodded his head. He handed Ella back to him. “Take care of my junior, buddy.” he said. Danson just smiled at him. “I sure will.” he said.

As another song played, the two danced once again. “So, how was it. Are the two of you OK now? Are you OK now?” he asked. Ella smiled and nodded her head. “We're OK now. I'm OK now.” she said. “Glad to hear that.” he said. Ella held on tight to Danson, and smiled at him. “Thank you for forcing me to come to this wedding.” she said. Danson let out a playful smile at him. “I knew you'd be thanking me in the end. And to think you wanted to kill me a while ago for forcing you to come.” he said. “I know you only cared for me, that's why. Thank you.” she said. Danson embraced her tight, and kissed her on her forehead. “You're welcome.”

--

Danson pulled over in front of Ella's house. As soon as the engine of his car stopped, Ella looked at him, and smiled. “Thanks for today.” she said. “You're welcome.” he answered, smiling at her. “Honestly, the reason why I brought you to Wallace's wedding and made you over is because I want him to realize what he had been missing. But I guess he is too in love with Penny to even notice your transformation.” he said. “You think I'm pretty today?” she asked. Danson nodded his head. “You're very pretty today. When you walked down the stairs, for one minute, you made me forget that I am gay.” he said. Then, both of them let out a laugh. “Can you forget that you're not gay for the rest of your life?” she thought. “Well, at least for one minute you became straight.” Ella said. “For just one minute.” he said.

Ella let out a sigh at him. “So, good night? I'll see you on Monday.” she said. Danson nodded his head. “I'll see you on Monday.” he said. As Ella was opening the door, Danson called her again. “Ella...” he said. Ella stopped, and looked at him. She saw him smiling at her. “Goodnight.” he said. Then, he moved towards her, and kissed her on the forehead. Ella was surprised at what he did. She stared at her for a long time, before realizing that she have to get out of his car. “G-goodnight.” she stuttered. Then, she immediately got out of his car and ran inside the house. When she closed the door behind her, she felt her heart beating fast. The image of him kissing her on her forehead made her heart beat fast. She clutched on her heart, and let out a smile.

--

Glam office was surprised by a visit of a very important guest the following week.

The doors opened, and a group of men and women in black came in. Tailing behind them is a woman clad in black dress, and a black hat. Everyone jumped to their seats, and greeted the woman. “Godd morning, Madam Tang.” they all said. She took off her sunglasses and looked around the office. “Where is Ella Chen?” she asked. Just then, Ella and Danson came back from the coffee shop, and Danson had this shocked look on his face upon seeing his mom. “M-mom?” he called. Lou ise looked at his son, and let out a smirk. “Hello, Dason.” she said. Then, she looked at Ella, and noticed that she was holding onto Danson's arms. “So... the rumors are true...” she commented. Then, she smiled sweetly at Ella. “I just hope that this is for real this time.” she added.

The two just looked at each other with confused look.

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Say That You Love Me - Chapter 2

2010-06-06T07:51:00.000-07:00

Dream Girl

How do I start to tell the story?
How do I start to tell you when I have learned to love you?
I knew that after that summer you made your promise to me
The feelings I hid for so long became stronger
And then she came...
Without any warnings
She came and took you away from me
And I can only watch
As you fall helplessly in love with her...

--

“Your bodyguard is here.”

Chun smirked at the boy in front of him. He rolled the notebook he's holding in his hand, and whacked his head with it. “Be nice to my best friend, Lego Li!” he shouted at her. Lego just laughed at him, and then ran towards Ella, who was waiting for Chun by the gate. “Dork! What are you doing here, dork!” Lego said, starting to annoy Ella. And he did succeed, for he have annoyed the hell out of her. “You dork! Get out of my way before I could hit you!” she shouted at him.

Chun came to Ella, and before he could hit him again, Lego ran away from the two. “See ya tomorrow Chun!” Lego shouted gleefully at him. Ella sighed as she shook her head. “What's with him? Don't tell me he's your classmate again this school year?” she asked. Chun nodded his head. “I don't have any choice...” he said. Ella let out another sigh. “Come on, let's go home, all right?” Chun said as he put his arm around her shoulder. “Fine...” she said.

They walked home together that afternoon. They passed by the ice cream stall, and Chun bought two cones of ice cream for them. “So, how was first day of school?” Chun asked as they walked. “As usual... boring!” she said. Chun just laughed at her. “You always think that school is boring...”
“At least I am not like you, who loves school too much.”
“I do not!”
“Yeah, right! As if!”

Chun just shook his head, and continued to eat his ice cream. “Nothing interesting in your school today?” she asked. Ella shook her head. “Nothing. Yet. I heard from the teachers today that a new student will come tomorrow. They said she came from London. I don't know why the school would still accept a new student, especially since this is our last year in high school.” Ella said. “Maybe it was too sudden, or that new student really wants to study in St. Margaret.” Chun said. Ella sighed, and then ate her ice cream. “I don't know... I just don't feel that I am going to like this new student. She might be snobby, or a meanie!” Ella said. Chun smiled at her, and then he ruffled her hair, much to her annoyance. “Don't judge her, all right? You haven't actually met her yet. Who knows, the two of you might become the best of friends...” he said. “And you're not gonna be jealous if I found a new best friend in her?” she asked. Chun smirked at her. “I know that I always come first in your life!” he said proudly.

Ella just shook her head. Sometimes, her best friend's complacent attitude is getting into her nerves. “I think you're right. I will befriend this new girl so that I don't get stuck with you.” she said as she folded her arms. Chun looked at her with a mock anger in her face. “Oh... so you don't want to get stuck with me? What did I tell you before? You're stuck with me forever. We're like Siamese twins... wherever you go, I'll be there as well.” he said. Ella smirked at him, and then rolled her eyes. “You wish!” she said. Then, Chun gave her an evil smile, and then ruffled her hair again, making her hair all messy. He knew that what he did angered Ella, and he could see it on her face. And he also knew that she would get back at him for what he did. And so, Chun began to ran away from him, and while he did, Ella ran after him. “Wu Ji Chun! Come back here, you brat! I'll never forgive you for messing up my hair!” she shouted at him. Chun looked back at her, and stuck a tongue at her. “Catch me if you can!” he shouted back at her.

--

“I heard the new girl is already here...” Ella heard her classmate, Ivy, said. Ella turned to her, and gave her a confused look. “Really?” she asked. Ivy nodded her head. “I heard she came from a really rich family. His dad is a diplomat abroad who was promoted to a higher position here.” Genie said. “Really?” Ivy asked. Genie nodded her head.

Just then, their teacher came in with a tall girl tailing behind her. “Class...” the teacher greeted. All of them stood up from their seats to greet the teacher. After that, the teacher told them to seat down and began to introduce the new student. “Ladies, this is Tiffany Hsu. She came from London, and will be in this class starting today. I hope all of you will help her around, all right?” the teacher said. Ella looked up at Tiffany, and she was somehow mesmerized by her. She is tall, have a smooth porcelain skin, a long curly brown hair, and a pair of gray eyes. If she is a guy, she would easily fall for her charms, and she thanked God that she is not into those things. “Tiffany, you can sit right beside Ella Chen.” the teacher said, pointing at her. Tiffany nodded her head, and then headed to the empty seat right next to Ella. Ella glanced at the new girl, and saw her smiling at her. “Hi, I'm Tiffany.” she said as she took her seat. “I'm Ella. Welcome to St. Margaret.” she said.

The class bells rang, and it was recess time. As soon as the teacher left, everyone was doing their own thing. “Hey, Ella... want to grab something to eat at the cafeteria?” Ivy asked her. “Later, Ivy. Got to do something.” she said. Ivy nodded her head, and went outside the room. Then, Ella looked at Tiffany, and saw her looking at her. “You're not going out to eat?” she asked. Tiffany smiled shyly, and shrugged her shoulder. “I... don't know where the cafeteria is...” Tiffany said. With that realization, Ella smacked herself in the head. “Oh, shoot! How could I forget...” she said. Tiffany just laughed at her. “It's OK... I'm sure I could find my way there...” Tiffany said as she stood up. “Oh, wait. Let me walk you there...” Ella said as she stood up. Tiffany gave her a confused look. “Aren't you supposed to do something?” she asked. Ella smiled, and shook her head. “It's just our assignment in English, no worries. It can wait till I come home later, right? I'll accompany you” she said. Tiffany smiled at her again, and nodded her head. “So, shall we go?” Ella asked. “Sure. Thank you for going with me, Ella.” Tiffany said.

--

Dismissal time came, and as usual, the students rushed out of the classroom to leave school. Ella and Tiffany were left inside the classroom, as the two were designated as school monitors for the day, and have to make sure that the room is spic and span. “Ella, how will you go home, by the way?” Tiffany asked as she arranged the chairs. Ella stood on the platform, and began to erase the board. “I usually walk home. My house is not far from here.” she said. “So, you walk alone? Don't Ivy and Genie go home with you?” Tiffany asked again. Ella shook her head. “Their house is far from here. But I don't walk alone. I have a best friend at Southwood, you know that all-boys school next to ours. I walk home with him.” she answered. “That's nice. It's good to know that you have a good friend. With the kind of work my dad have, we always move to different places and countries, and because of that, I don't have much friends, or anyone that I can consider as my best friend. Good thing my dad finally decided to settle down here in Taiwan. I really hope I could find new friends.” she said.

Ella stepped down on the platform, and then walked up to Tiffany. “Let's make a deal...” Ella said. “What is it?” Tiffany asked. “I'm going to be your girl best friend.” she said, smiling at her. Tiffany gave her a confused look. “Won't your best friend get mad at you for having another best friend?” she asked. Ella shook her head. “Aiyo, it's much better. If you only know Chun, he gets to be a annoying little pest sometimes. Anyway, it's good to have a girl best friend, right? At least we can about girl stuffs.” Ella said. Tiffany smiled, and nodded her head. “Well, it's a deal then. Ella Chen, you got me as your new best friend.” Tiffany said. Ella smiled at her, and the two girls gave each other a high five.

After they're through cleaning the classroom, Ella walked Tiffany outside the school. “Are you going to Southwood now?” Tiffany asked. Ella nodded her head. “I promised Chun I'll meet him outside his school today...” she said. “That's too bad... I was about to ask you if you want to come over at our place...” Tiffany said. “how about tomorrow?” Ella asked. Tiffany smiled, and nodded her head. “Sounds great.” she said. Just then, a black limousine stopped in front of them. The chauffeur got out of the car and opened the door for Tiffany. “I'll see you tomorrow, Ella. Don't forget out date.” she said as she got inside the car. Before the car left, Tiffany waved goodbye at her, and Ella did the same thing.

“Whoa! Dork got herself a rich friend!” Ella heard someone say. She looked back, and saw Chun and Lego together. She folded her arms as she glared at Lego. “Can you be more annoying somewhere else?” she asked in an annoyed tone. “Sorry, but I can only be more annoying to you!” he said cheekily. Before Ella could hit him with her bag, Lego ran away from the two. “Get back here, you dufus!” she shouted. Chun just laughed at his best friend. “Wei, why did you bring him with you? You know how much I hate him!” Ella told him. “He insisted to walk with me. He said I might get harassed by my fan girls... that's why.” he said. Ella raised an eyebrow at him. “Yeah, right... as if you're that handsome. FYI, you're not.” she said. Chun just laughed at her again. “So... is that the new girl you're with?” he asked. Ella nodded her head. “Tiffany.” she said. “Seems like you're spending way too much time with her. Are you dumping me as your best friend now?” he asked in a hurt tone. Ella stuck her tongue out at her, and ruffled his hair. “Of course not. You, adorable dork, is still my best friend.” she assured her. With that, Chun smiled at her. “Good. Since I'm still your best friend, how about treating me for some ice cream?”

--

It was Friday afternoon and Ella and Tiffany were hanging out at McDonald's near their school. While Ella was muching on her fries, Tiffany is busy reading some romance novel. “Why is it that you love reading those kinds of books?” Ella finally asked. Tiffany looked at her, and smiled. “The story is nice. It's a feel-good kind of story. You should try reading it.” she said as she pushed the book on Ella's side. Ella let out a sigh as she stared at her book. “I won't be able to read a book that thick... really... maybe I'm not really that fond of books...” she said. Tiffany giggled at her. “You're funny, Ella.” she said.

As she continued to eat on her fries, Tiffany looked outside the window. “But you know what, I love reading those romance novels because there's a part of me wanting to experience what is it to really fall in love. I wonder what it's like to meet the one that will make your heart flutter. Maybe you will hear a song in your head when he comes your way. Maybe there will fireworks in the sky the first time he kissed you. And when he holds your hand, maybe his hand is the warmest thing you'll ever feel.” she said dreamily. Tiffany turned to Ella, and saw her sipping on her drink. “Honestly, I've never been in love. But I want to... Ella... have you been in love before?” she asked.

That question made her silent. She doesn't know if she could trust Tiffany with her deep and dark secret. Yes, she have been in love, and she will always be in love with one guy, and that guy turns out to be her best friend. She was too cautious about that secret, not wanting to ruin what they have now for she now things will just be complicated. And besides, she knows that Chun doesn't feel the same way for her. For him, she will only be his best friend. She chose to shake her head in denial. “No... not yet... but I'm not dismissing the thought of falling in love with someone.” she said.

Just as the two girls turned to the door, they saw Chun walk inside. He paused to look around. She felt her heart beating fast with the thought that he was looking for her. But as his eyes landed on their table, his eyes became glued on Tiffany. He let out a boyish smile at the two. He waved at them, and Ella could only wave back at her best friend. As she looked at Tiffany, she noticed something different from her. Her eyes were meeting that of Chun's. Her eyes sparkle as he walked towards their direction. There was a sudden happiness in her face that she could not explain.

“Hi Ella.” Chun said to Ella. He glanced at her for a while before turning his eyes on Tiffany. The two gazed at each other for a while, ignoring the fact that Ella is with them. She cleared her throat to gain their attention, and she was successful. “What are you doing here, Chun? I thought you have basketball practice?” she asked. “It got canceled.” he said as he took her sit. “By the way, Chun, this is Tiffany... the new student. Tiff, this is Chun. My best friend.” she said.

She felt a lump on her throat upon uttering the word “best friend”. She could only watch as Chun extend his hand to her. “It's nice to meet you, Tiffany...” he said. She gazed at her best friend's face, and saw a certain glow in him. He never smiled that way at her. He was never this gentle before. It's like seeing a different side of her best friend for the first time. She watched as Tiffany took his hand, and held it for a long time. “It's nice to meet you too, Chun...” she said sweetly.

And at that moment, she knew that even before the fight for his love began, it's obviously that she lost the battle.

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Say That You Love Me - Chapter 1

2010-06-06T07:49:00.000-07:00

Promises to Keep

Do you remember your promise?
That promise you made when we were young?
I held on to that promise...
I believed in you...
I trusted in you...
Only to find out in the end...
That when you broke your promise,
You will also break my heart...

--

He looked at the girl beside him as he pedalled his way to the lakeside. Unconsciously, his hand slipped to her, holding her hand as they went to their haven. Holding hands together, they have reached the lakeside. The two of them dropped their bikes, and ran to their usual spot.

"Aiya! Finally we're here!" the girl said. The boy looked a ther, and let out a smile. She could only give him a confused look. "What?" she asked. "Why do you always love being here?" he asked. She looked at him and grinned, before taking her seat at the grassy ground. "I just love it here." she said. He let out a sigh as he sat beside her. "It's just the first day of summer break..." he said as he turned to her. "I know. But you know what they say, time flies when you're having fun!" she answered him. He smiled and nodded his head. Now he knew where all these enthusiasm is coming from. "It's not like we're not gonna see each other after the break is over." he said. "We're neighbors, remember?" he added with a grin. The girl laughed at him, and nudged his side. "It's not all about you, Wu Chun." she said. She took a deep breath as she lay down on the grass. "It's just that... after this summer break... I don't know... we have to start thinking of our future..." she said. He let out a sigh and joined her on the grass. "Don't think too much of it, all right, Ms. Ella Chen." he said. He looked at her for a while, then stared up the blue skies. "How can I not think about it, Chun? Look, it's our last year in high school. Next year, we'll be in college... who knows, the two of us might get separated after this year..." she said.

Chun looked at her, and he could clearly see the worried look on her face. Since they were kids, the two of them were inseperable, except for the case in the schools they go to right now. Ella is a senior high school student at an all-girls' school (St. Margaret School) and Chun goes to an all-boys school (Southwood Academy). The thought of college have been freaking out Ella since the previous school year, he knew that. He knew that the reason behind it, is because she really wanted to get in to the university of their choice. She is paranoid, whether she will get in to that school, or if Chun will leave her behind. "Dont think much about college." he said. "Even if we don't get to the same university, you know that I will always be here for you. It's not like someone will take me away from you..."

Ella let out a sigh as she sat up. "Yeah, right. How about if you found yourself a girlfriend. With the number of girls lining up to be your girlfriend... there's no doubt that you'll get one soon." she said. A smirk was formed on his lips. He sat up, and put his arms around her shoulder. "Is that a hint of jealousy I'm hearing in my best friend's voice?" he asked. She folded her arms, and looked away from him. "I am not jealous." she said. "You are jealous." he said. He was beginning to be amused with his best friend. "Well, I couldn't help it if girls are begging for my attention..." he said proudly. She glaredf at him and gave him a nudge. Chun could only laugh at her reaction.

He took a deep breath, and then lay down on the grass once again. He closed his eyes with a smile on his lips, and Ella grabbed this chance to stare into his handsome, boyish face. She stared at him for a long time, leaning down to him. Then, he opened his eyes, and stared back at her. "What?" he asked. "I was only wondering why you don't have a girlfriend yet." she asked. "And why don't you have a boyfriend yet?" he asked back. She groaned as she looked away from him. "Do you always have to answer my question with another question?" she asked, pouting at him once again. "I want to know..."
"I want to know too!"
"I guess, we both want to know. Now, tell me your reasons."
"I asked first. You should tell me your reasons first."

Chun let out a sigh as he sat up again. He stared at the lake, then he took a small pebble and throw it at the water. "I guess I haven't found the girl whom I want to be with. She is this special girl, that I see my self growing old with. She have this almod eyes that I would never get tired of looking at, soft brown and long hair, she will have this cute smile that will always brighten up my day, and she will make my heart beat fast... so fast that I could not breathe anymore..." he said in a dreamy tone. Ella snorted at him. "Sheesh... you're so mushy. And picky. You'll grow old alone if you keep on being picky." she said. Chun glared at her. "I am not picky!" he said. "Picky. And Mushy. And corny. Sheesh!" Ella said. Chun let out a sighe. He put his arms around her, and began to pull her towards him, and tickle her sides. "Mushy? Picky? Corny? Am I still those things to you?" he asked as he tickeld her. Ella's face is already red from laughing to hard. "All right, all right! You're not!" she said. With that, Chun stopped tickling her, and let her go.

"OK, your turn." he said. "I don't have a boyfriend, because I don't want one." she said. Chun gave her a suspcious look. "What are you, a lesbian?"
"For your information, Wu Chun... I am not like those other girls who are in a hurry to have a boyfriend. I am enjoying my childhood."
Chun smacked her in the head. "You're not a kid anymore." he said sternly. "You're sixteen years old, for God's sake, Ella Chen." he added. "Why? You want me to have a boyfriend already? Are you getting tired of me?" she asked. Chun sighed, and shook his head. "Not that I'm getting tired of you. It's just that... I don't know... maybe if you got yourself a boyfriend, it will take me a long time to get used to it. Besides, I will pity the guy you will date..." he said. With what he said, Ella grabbed his arms, and bit it.

"Ouch! Ella Chen, stop it!" he said. She stopped biting him, and glared at him. "Take back what you said about you pitying the guy I will date." she threatened. "I take it back." he said. He let go of his arm, and Chun could only rub his bruised arm. "I wonder if you will ever get yourself a boyfriend with that attitude of yours..." he said. "Who said I want one?" she said. He let out a smile as he put his arms around her. "Let's make a deal, OK?" he said. Ella nodded her head. "Promise me that no matter what happens, if you got yourself a boyfriend, or if I found myself a girl, we'll always be best friends." he said. "Of course." she said. "You will never ever forget me."
"I won't. Maybe you will."
"I won't do that. And promise me that whoever that lucky guy is, he'll have to go through me, and I promise that whoever the lucky girl is, she will have to pass your standards first."
"Just don't date a bitch, and I'm OK with it. Promise me that you will always be there for me, no matter what. That I will always come first in your life."
"I will. You will always be my priority."

Chun lifted up his pinky finger to her. "Best friends forever?" he asked. Ella smiled at him, and link her pinky to his. "Best friends forever." she said.

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Read Previous Chapter

Say That You Love Me - Prologue

2010-06-06T07:47:00.000-07:00

White roses.

Grassy field.

Cloudy day.

Gentle breeze.

Leaves falling down.

Tears in his eyes.

Unspoken words.

Heart breaking silently.

If only he knew back then what he knew now...

If only he had not hesitated, nor questioned everything...

Then, maybe, just maybe, it will not be too late...

--

10 years earlier...

"Wait up for me!"

The teenaged girl shouted angirly at the boy before her. The boy looked back, and and stuck out his tongue at her. "Catch me if you can!" he said. He got up on his bike, and pedaled away from her. The girl could only growl in frustration. She tugged her bike, and ran to catch up with the boy. "Wait till I catch you, you meanie!" she shouted at him.

They reached the lakeside after a while. The boy dropped his bike, and then sat down on the grassy field. The girl came in shortly. She dropped her back next to his, and grudgingly walked up to him. "Why didn't you wait for me?" she said as she put her hands on her waist. The boy look up at him, and gave him a smirk. "You're always slow, did you know that." he said. She let out a sign, and sat next to him. "If you're always like that, I'll find myself a new best friend." she threatened. The boy could only smirk again. "You can never do that."
"I can. Just wait and see."
"You can't. I am your one and only best friend. And no one can be patient as I am when it comes to you."
"I can find someone much better than you!"
"No one can ever replace me in your life."

She slumped down beside him, and looked up at the blue sky. "I just know that we'll be best friends forever. I'm stuck with you, you're stuck with me. We're like Siamese twins. No one can tear us apart." she heard him said. She looked at him with a confused look on her face. "Me? Stuck with you forever? No way!" she exclaimed. Her reaction have caused him to laugh. "You're always like that when I win in our race." he said. "We are not racing, all right. And besides, you know that I hate being left behind, and you should know that!" she shouted at him. "Well, if you don't want to be left behind, then you could have moved faster, you turtle." he said.

He put his hand under his head, and lay down on the grass, staring at the skies. "But you know, no matter what happens... I will never leave you behind..." he said. Then, he looked at her and smiled. "I promise you that." She let out a shy smile, and lay down beside him. "You better keep your promise." she said. "Or else..."

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Me & My Gay Boss - Episode 5

2010-06-06T06:18:00.001-07:00

Episode 5 – Good Friend

Ella fell on her chair.

Danson immediately stood up from his seat, and helped her up. “Are you OK?” he asked. Ella let out a sigh. “Are you kidding me?!” she shouted at him. “Me? Your girlfriend?!” she added. Danson gave her a pleading look. “Please... just say yes... I'll buy you coffee everyday...” he said. “Do I look like a coffee addict to you?” she snapped at him. She put her hand on her waist, and let out another sigh. “And what about my non-existent love life?” she asked. Danson gave her a confused look. “What about it? It's non-existent at all.” he said. Ella could only glare at her boss. “That's the point. It's non-existent. So, what if suddenly, it exists?” she said. Then she looked at the bouquet on her hand. “Just look. Someone just sent me flowers. What if this is the Mr. Right I've been waiting for all my life?” she asked. Now, it's Danson's turn to sigh. “Come on, Ella... please?” he pleaded again. She just folded her arms. “Besides, we don't know who that secret admirer yet. I promise you, once we found out who that is, we stop pretending to be together.” he said.

Ella looked at him for a long time. He was giving her puppy eyes, and she just could not refuse his offer. At least she's dating Taiwan's hottest bachelor, even if it's just a pretend one. “You promise to stop once we found who this secret admirer of mine is?” she asked. Danson smiled, and nodded his head. “I promise you, Jiro and I will even help you out to find out who he is.” he said. She let out a sigh, and nodded her head as an answer. With that, Danson's face lightened up. He literally jumped onto Ella, and hugged her tight. “Thanks, Ella... thank for being my girlfriend!” he said. After he said that, the door opened, and his secretary saw them in that position, as well as hearing the last thing he said. The two looked at her, and saw the shocked look on her face. “I... I'm sorry... I didn't mean to walk in on you like this...” she stuttered. “That's OK, Annie...” Danson said. His secretary closed the door again, and they could almost hear her crying.

“I could swear Annie have a huge crush on you.” Ella told him. Danson shrugged his shoulder. “Imagine her disappointment if she founds out that you're gay.” she said. “Same disappointment you experienced when I told you that?” he asked, smirking at her. Ella folded her arms, and smirked back at him. “Please. I am not that disappointed. As if I have a crush on you.” she said. He let out a chuckle at what he said. “Oh my God...” Ella said as she shook her head. “What?” Danson asked in a confused tone. “I think every girl in Taipei will kill me if they found out that I'm Danson Tang's girlfriend!”

--

“I'm so glad you agreed to what we asked...” Jiro said as he placed a plate of steak in front of Ella. It was evening, and the three were having dinner at Danson's pad. “How could I refuse? Your boyfriend offered to buy coffee everyday.” Ella told her. Jiro wrinkled his brows as he looked at her. “You don't look like a coffee addict to me.” he said. Ella burst out laughing. “That's exactly the same thing that I told him, but he wouldn't listen.” she said.

Just then, Danson came out of his room, and joined them at the table. “Don't listen to her, baby.” Danson said. He sat next to Jiro, and took his fork. “She only agreed if we help her to find out who her secret admirer is.” he said as he began to devour his dinner. Jiro was surprised at what Danson said, and when he turned to Ella, he have this wide grin on his face. “Secret admirer?” he asked. Ella nodded her head. “Someone sent me flowers at the office today.” she said. “Awww... that's so sweet. Which reminds me... it's been a long time since I gave flowers to my baby.” he said. Jiro looked at Danson, then he put his arms around him a kiss on the lips. “Aw, babe... you know that you don't have to give me flowers. I already know that you do love me.” Danson said sweetly.

Ella could only smile and shake her head at that scene. Somehow, she felt envious of the the two. “At least they got each other, unlike me...” she thought sadly. The two lovebirds looked at Ella, and smiled. “Looks like someone is jealous...” Jiro said, winking at her. Ella rolled her eyes at him. “Can you, for one second, remember that I am around, and stop being too sweet. It's making me envy.” she said. The two just laughed. “Don't worry, your prince charming will come soon, Ella. Just wait.” Danson said. Ella just sighed, and continued to eat her dinner.

--

A tall man walked inside the Glam's front desk. He let out a smile as Gui Gui looked up at him. “Hi, I'm looking for Ella Chen?” he said. “And you are...” Gui Gui asked. “I'm Wallace Huo, an old friend of hers.” he said. Gui Gui smiled at him. “Mr. Huo, please seat for a while. I'll check if Ella is around.” she said. Wallace nodded his head, and then took a seat at the couch.

Meanwhile, Ella is busy editing some pictures, when Gui Gui called her on her phone. “Ella, you have a visitor.” Gui Gui told her. Ella wrinkled her brows at what she said. “Visitor? Who?” she asked. “Someone named Wallace Huo...” Gui Gui said. Upon hearing his name, Ella's face lightened up. “Really? OK, I'll be right there.” she said. She put the phone down, and then rushed outside the office. As she opened the door, she saw Wallace sitting and waiting for her. She felt her heart beating fast as she caught a glimpse of his face.

It's been a long time since she last saw Wallace. The two were college friends, with him being her senior at the school's newspaper. She remembered having a huge crush on her senior during university days, and he was the only reason why she decided to join the newspaper as a photographer. When he graduated, he migrated to Singapore to work, and she never had a chance to actually tell him how she feels. As she opened the door, a smile was plastered on her face. “Xue Zhang?” she called. Wallace looked at her, and smiled. “Ella!” he said. He stood up, and Ella ran to him, giving him a hug. “Oh my God! It's been a long time since I last saw you!” she said. “I know. But you're as pretty just like before.” he said. Ella could only blush at what he said. “So... you're back for good?” she managed to say. Wallace nodded his head. “For good. Got a good business opportunity somewhere in Kaoshiung... but I'll be working from time to time here in Taipei. And since you told me you're working here, and I was around the place, I decided to pay you a visit.” Wallace said.

Ella could only smile happily at him. She never thought that after a long time, Wallace would remember her. “I'm... well... happy...” she said. “Me too. I'm so happy to see you again, Ella.” he said. Ella bit her lips as she looked away from him. “Anyway, I just dropped by to say hi. And to ask if you're free tonight?” Wallace said. Ella immediately nodded her head. “Of course. I'm free tonight.” she said. “Good. Then can I invite you for dinner?” he asked. Ella nodded her head. “So, should I pick you up here after work? Around 6?” he asked. Ella nodded her head again. “6 is fine with me.” she said. Wallace let out a boyish smile at her. “Great. I'll pick you up around that time, all right?” he said. “OK. Can't wait...” she said. “Me too. We've got a lot of catching up to do.” he said. He said goodbye to her, and as he leaves, Ella just watched him with a smile on her face. “Oh my... I guess this is the start of something new for us...” she thought giddily. As she giggled, Gui Gui gave her a wondering look. Ella stopped giggling, and composed herself before going back inside.

--

“Ella... Jiro wants us to go to the bar tonight.” Danson said as he walked towards her desk. He stopped when he noticed that Ella was putting on make up on her face. “What's with the make up? You never wear make up, especially if you're about to go home...” he said. Ella looked at him, and smiled. “I have a date.” she told him. Danson gave her a confused look. “Date?” he asked. Ella nodded her head. “Date with whom? Are you cheating on me?” he asked. “It's not cheating unless you tell everyone that I am your girlfriend. And besides, yo have Jiro... so let me go out on a date, and make my non-existent love life, existing. All right?” she said. As she was about to leave, Danson grabbed her hand. “Wait, wait... who is this guy? Are you so sure that he is the one?” he asked. Ella let out a smile at him. “I knew he is the one when I first met him. And that was like... 8 or 7 years ago.” she said. He folded his arms, as he gave her a stern look. “Who is this guy?” he asked. She answered her with a smile. “You'll meet him someday, Danson. But for now, I'm off to my date.” she said.

She turned her back, and left. Danson kept on calling her, but she just waved her hand as she hopped her way out of the office. “Ella Chen! Come back here! We have an agreement, remember?” he shouted at her. But she did not hear him. As the door in front of him closes, Danson could only let out a sigh. “I have to know who her date is...” he said to himself. He took his mobile phone from his pocket, and dialed Jiro's number. “Hello, baby? Yeah, it's me. Let's ditch our plan to go to the bar tonight. We are going to stalk someone....”

--

Ella shyly looked up at Wallace, and secretly watched him as he tells the waiter their orders. It's been 5 years since they last saw each other, and he have not changed a bit. He's still the same senior that she have been crushing on since university days. He was still the same gentleman and sweet guy she met before. She lowered her head when Wallace looked her way. She could swear there was a smile of amusement on his face as he looked at her. “You're still the same shy Ella as before.” he commented. “And you're still the same charming Wallace that I've met before.” she commented. Wallace just laughed at her, and as he smiled at her, she could feel her cheeks turning red. She wanted to hide under the table, because she know that the redness on her face is giving way to her feelings for her.

“By the way, did you receive the flowers I sent yesterday?” he asked. Ella's eyes widened upon hearing what she said. “Y-you sent those flowers?” she asked. He nodded his head. “I know you love flowers, so I sent them.” he said. Ella smiled at him, and nodded her head. “I did. Thanks for the flowers, Wallace.” she said. He just smiled and nodded his head. “So, how's work? Still enjoying it?” Wallace asked. Ella nodded her head. “I've never enjoyed it more than anything in this world.” she answered. Wallace nodded his head. “I know. Photography has always been your passion, right?” he asked. Ella nodded her head again. “How about you, why did you suddenly gave up your post as news manager in Singapore, and went back home?” she asked. “Well, I needed to fix things. You know that my family have a business in Kaoshiung, right?” he said. Ella nodded her head. “My father has been sickly lately, so I had to go back to take over, and at the same time to look after my dad.” he explained. “I see, that's great then...” she said. Wallace nodded his head. He leaned over the table. He looked at her in her eyes, and then smiled sweetly at her. “At least I get to see more of you, right?” he said. Ella slowly nodded her head. Good thing that the waiter came back with their order. The more that Wallace is looking at her, the more that she feels that she is melting.

Meanwhile, at the other side of the restaurant, Jiro and Danson were sitting and hiding behind the menu as they were eying on Ella and her date. “Why are we doing this again, baby?” Jiro asked. “Because I want to know who Ella's date is.” Danson said, never taking his eyes off Wallace. “Why do you want to know who her date is?” Jiro asked in a confused tone. “Because if the two of them got together, she'll forget our agreement.” he answered. Jiro let out a chuckle, and shook his head. “Why are you being paranoid, baby? It's just a date. As if they will get married tomorrow.” he said. Danson glared at her boyfriend, and he stopped laughing. Then, he turned his eyes at Ella, who was already laughing at something that Wallace said. “Look at her, babe. Just look at her! She's so giddy. Geez, it's like she have a huge crush on this guy...” he said. Jiro raised an eyebrow at him after hearing what he said. “Are you jealous, baby?” he asked. Danson put the menu down, and glared at him. “Certainly not! Why would I be jealous?! I have no right to be jealous, she's not even my girlfriend yet!” he said. “Then stop acting like a jealous boyfriend, all right. Let Ella be. Now, can order, and stop staling on our friend?” Jiro said. Danson nodded her head. “Go ahead and order. I'm going to say hi to her and her little friend.” Danson said. He stood up from his seat. He fixed his tie first, before disturbing Ella and her date. Jiro could only sigh as he watched his lover walk towards Ella's table.

“Yes, I still remember that time. The look on your face was priceless! Good thing I took pictures of you that time.” Ella said in between laughs. Wallace laughed with her, and lowered his head in embarrassment. “Oh my... one day I'd like to see that picture.” he said. “Sure... why don't you stop by our apartment sometimes?” Ella said. Wallace looked up at her, and nodded her head. “Good idea. You're still living with Ariel?” Wallace asked. Ella nodded her head. “And George and Mikey. Ariel and Mikey are kinda living in together now.” she said. Wallace just nodded her head. “Why don't I stop by tonight?” he asked. Ella let out a smile. “Sure. I know Ariel, Mike and George would be happy to see that senior Wallace Huo is back.” she said.

“Hey, Ella...”

Ella froze in her seat upon hearing that familiar voice. She slowly turned around, and saw Danson behind her. “Danson?” she asked. “Fancy meeting you here...” he said. He leaned down to her, and gave her a kiss on the cheek. As he put his arm around her neck, he glared at Wallace. “So, who's the date?” he asked. She let out an annoyed sigh. “Don't you have a date or something?” she asked. “Why? Can't I greet you now?” he asked. She let out another sigh. “Danson...” she started. Then, she pointed at Wallace. “This is Wallace Huo, my senior. Wallace, this is Danson Tang. My boss.” she said. Wallace smiled at Danson, and extended his hand to him. “Nice meeting you, Danson.” he said. Danson smiled at him, and took his hand. “Nice meeting you too, Wallace. I wonder why Ella haven't mentioned you to me?” he said as he smirked at him. Wallace could only give him a confused look. “Ah... xue zhang... can you excuse me and my boss for a while?” she said. He nodded her head. “Sure. Take your time.” he said. Annoyed, she grabbed Danson's wrist, and pulled him at the lobby of the restaurant to talk.

“What was that all about?!” she hissed at him. “What? I'm just saying hi.” he answered nonchalantly. “Well, you just said hi. And did you really have to kiss me on the cheek?”
“What's wrong if I do?”
“You don't do that!”
“Well, I'm doing it now.”
“Did it ever occur to you that Wallace might think that you are more to me than a boss?”
Danson folded his arms. “So?” he asked. “So?! So?! Danson! Do you have an idea how long I've waited for him to come back into my life? I am in love with the guy!” she said, trying her best not to raise her voice. “Well, it's so obvious. With the way you giggle and with the way you blush. God, he's so dense not to notice how you feels towards him...” he said. Ella let out a sigh, and shook her head. “Danson, can you please get out of my way for a while? I've waited my whole life for a time alone with him... so please... can you do this favor for me?” she said wearily. Danson fell silent, and stared at her for a long time. “Please, Danson? Can you do it for me?” she asked. “Does he also feel the same way for you?” he finally asked. Ella shrugged her shoulders. “All I know is that he's happy to be back home. He wants to see more of me. And he... he sent me those flowers...” she said.

Danson just looked at her. “But it doesn't mean that he also have the same feelings as you, Ella. I can't watch you risk your heart for him.” He put his hands on her shoulder, and gazed into her eyes. “Look, I'm not doing this because we have an agreement. You are not just my employee, you're also my friend. If he can't love you the way that you do, then God forgive, I might do something to that guy if he breaks your heart. I care for you, Ella... I really do. And from what I'm seeing with him... the feeling is not mutual, Ella. I see that he is only seeing you as a friend, nonetheless.” he said. Ella was silent as he speaks. She just looked at him as she listened to every word he says. “I wouldn't know if he feels the same way for me or not if I won't take the risk, right?” she asked. “I know that. But as your friend, it's my duty to protect you from something or someone that will hurt you. Even from that somehow harmless guy...” he said.

Ella let out another sigh. “And if I kissed you a while ago, it's my way of testing him if he also feels the same for you. But I have some bad news, Ella... I don't see a hint of jealousy in his face when I kissed you. And you know what that means...” he continued. Ella put his hands away from her. “It's all up to me, Danson. If I get my heart broken, it will all be my fault... because I've kept all my hopes high. Just let me do this, all right?” she said. Danson sighed, and then nodded her head. “All right. Go ahead... be with him. I won't stop you. Forget about the agreement and be with him. But if he breaks your heart... you know where to reach me.” he said. Ella smiled, and nodded her head. “Thanks, Danson...” she said. Then, Danson turned her around, and pushed her inside the restaurant. “Go back to him, he must be waiting.” he said. He pushed her hard, and just watched as Ella went back to Wallace with a smile on her face.

“So... what happened? Seems like Ella is in love with the guy, huh?” Danson heard Jiro said. Danson looked at him, and nodded her head. “I told her the agreement is off for now.” she said. Jiro folded his arms, and watched Ella and Wallace together. “But knowing Ella, I know she will still help us in evey way she could. We're so lucky to have a friend like her.” Jiro said. Danson nodded his head in agreement. “Yeah...” he said. He eyed at Wallace, and let out a faint smile. “We are so lucky...”

--

A few days later...

Ella sat at the cafe, and after a few minutes of waiting, Jiro finally came. “Ella!” he called. Ella smiled at him. She stood up from her seat, and then gave him a bear hug. “I miss you, girl!” Jiro said. “I miss you too.” she said. “It's because you've been spending way too much time with that boyfriend of yours.” Jiro said as he took his seat. “Wallace is not yet my boyfriend, all right?” she said. Jiro just laughed at her. “Then, why does Danson always complain to me that you're always talking about Wallace nonstop. I could swear you're giving your boss a headache.” Jiro said. Ella just laughed at him. “Well, he could always put on earplugs when I start talking about Wallace.” she said. Jiro looked at her, and smiled. “I'm glad to see you this happy, Ella...” he said. Ella just laughed at him.

“By the way, can I ask you a big favor, Ella?” Jiro asked. Ella nodded her head. “I'll be in Netherlands for a couple of weeks. Can you do me a favor, and keep an eyes on him? Make sure to keep him away from those flirty girls, all right?” he said. “Don't worry about. I'll keep him away from the girls by telling them I'm his girlfriend.” she said. “And what if Wallace founds out that you are telling those girls that you are Danson's girlfriend? He might get jealous...” Jiro said. “I'll explain to him that my boss wants to get rid of those girls. I know he'll understand that.” she said.

After an hour of talking, the two left the coffee shop. On their way out, they saw Wallace walking out of the jewelry store right in front of the shop. “Hey, isn't that Wallace?” Jiro said. Ella looked up, and saw him walking to his car. “Yeah...” she said. “I'm wondering what he's doing in that jewelry shop...” Jiro said. Ella shrugged her shoulder. “Well, whatever it is, nice choice. Did you know that they make the best engagement rings in town?” he said. With that, Ella looked up at him with a giddy look on her face. “Engagement ring?” she asked. Jiro nodded his head.

--

“So, you think he will propose to me tonight?” Ella asked as she rested her head on her palm. Danson, who was busy signing some documents, stopped, and looked at her. “You guys have been only dating for more than a week, and you're thinking that he's gonna ask you to marry him. Are you insane?” he asked in an annoyed tone. “But Jiro told me that that shop makes the best engagement rings. Maybe he bought a ring for me!” she said. Danson turned his eyes on the documents on his hand. “What did I tell you before. Don't keep your hopes all high. If you do, you will just get hurt. Don't expect too much from him.” Danson said. Ella smiled at him. “I just know he will propose to me tonight. Oh my God, I can't wait to see him tonight!” she said.

Just then, her phone rang. “That's your lover boy.” Danson said in an annoyed tone. Ella ignored his remark, and answered the phone. “Hello?” she said. It was Wallace on the other line. “Oh, hi Ella. Don't forget, I'll pick you up tonight. I have something important to tell you.” Wallace said. Ella smiled to herself. “OK. I'll wait for you then.” she said. Then, she ended the call and turned to Danson. “Danson! He said he'll pick me up tonight! He said he's going to tell me something important!” she said excitedly. Danson just looked at her. “Why am I not surprised?” he said. Ella sighed, and folded her arms. “Can you be happy for me just this once? Maybe he will propose to me tonight. Be happy for me!” she said. “I can't. Sorry. But I can pretend that I'm happy for you.” he said. She pouted at him. “Kill joy! Just because Jiro will be gone for a long time, you're acting like that!” she said. Then, she stomped her way out of the office.

If only Ella knew that the reason why Danson is acting that way is because he have this feeling that tonight will be a sad night for Ella...

--

Ella and Wallace strolled at the park after they had dinner at their favorite restaurant. The whole time, Wallace have been quiet, and Ella was waiting for him to tell her something. “Why are you so quiet, Wallace?” she asked. He looked at her, and smiled. “Well, I've been thinking of how to say this to you...” he said. He stopped walking, and then turned to face her. She felt her face beating fast as he gazed into her eyes.

“Ella, we've been friends for a long time, right?” he asked. She nodded her head. “You were always there during the most important occasions in my life...” he said. “I know that.” she said, smiling at him. Then, he took her hands, and smiled at her. “Ella, today is the happiest day of my life, and I want you to be a part of it...” he said. Somehow, she had a feeling that he will be telling him a different thing. It might have something to do with the business he is handling, and not about her. “Why? What happened? Did you just close that business deal of yours?” she asked. He smiled, and shook his head. “Something more, Ella... and I want you to be the first person to know.” he said. He took a deep breath before speaking again. “You still remember Penny Lin, right?” he asked. Ella nodded her head. “She was an ex of yours back in college... right?” she said. Wallace nodded his head. “I bumped into her to Singapore a few months before. We kept in contact ever since... and we both found out that we're still in love with each other. Ella... today, I asked her to marry me.” he said excitedly.

Ella tried to maintain the smile on her face even though her heart is already breaking. “And she said yes. We're getting married in three month's time!” he said. And those words pulled a string to break her heart into a million pieces. She felt so numb, like someone put her over a container filled with eyes. She didn't noticed that Wallace was already hugging her. “I'm so happy Ella! I just want to share my happiness with you. Isn't this great?” he said. Ella just nodded her head. She felt a tear from her eye fall as she nodded her head. “Yes...” she said. “It's great. I... I'm so happy for you, xue zhang...”

--

She chose to walk home that night, excusing herself from Wallace and telling him that a friend is inviting her to a bar. If she could, she would drink herself to death. She was contemplating on doing that, but then she thought of Danson. “If he breaks your heart... you know where to reach me.” she remembered him telling her that. Despite that her mind was clouded and she couldn't think straight, her feet found its way to Danson's pad.

Danson, who was busily watching some chick flicks, was interrupted by a loud knock on the door. “Coming!” he shouted. He ran up to the door, and when he opened it, he saw Ella standing. “Ella?” he called. He saw her bit her lips as she looked up at him. Her eyes where already flooded with tears, and he could tell thart she was trying her best to control those tears.“Danson...” she said sadly. Then, she hugged him tight, and began to cry.

The only thing he could do is hug her back and console her.

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